A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions….
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm… 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm… 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Illini Girl Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Last Friday was non-uniform day at our parochial school. The kids were all supposed to wear a Packer shirt (or Bears or Vikings or Cowboys or whatever). It was a choir day, so Maggie would be there, and she decided to wear her Illini shirt from Aunt Karen. Not NFL, but the closest match she had for the theme.
After chapel, as we stood around gabbing, Kara commented on the Illini shirt. Kara is a Wisconsin girl. I don't know what I am any more. I was raised a flatlander. But as of last Thanksgiving, I'd lived more of my life in Wisconsin than in Illinois. (Four more years, and half my life will have been in Wisconsin. Wow.)
Wisconsin is beautiful. My grandpa would go up to the northwoods to fish every year for vacation. He took his family. My mom grew up, and our family went up north. I grew up, and sometimes my mom & dad would take my family up north too. I love it up there (even if the water is too cold for swimming).
Wisconsin is beautiful. The Kettle-Moraine area is lovely to behold. The southwest corner of the state, too, is beautiful in its terrain and fields and woods.
And yet, Illinois is beautiful too. Besides that, I think there's something of a natural love for the place you knew as home. Immigrants talk with fondness of the fatherland. I mean, really, now, how many of you will think this
music is more beautiful than anything by Mozart or Beethoven? Well, I do. The Three-in-One gives me goosebumps just as much as Bach's Largo or Vivaldi's Seasons.
I don't have a clue as to what my own college's song was. I don't know the Badger songs at all. But Oskee-Wow-Wow is a different story. And it doesn't even bother me if my loved ones laugh at me for clapping my hands, thumping my foot in a Chief-like way, and singing Illini songs.
After chapel, as we stood around gabbing, Kara commented on the Illini shirt. Kara is a Wisconsin girl. I don't know what I am any more. I was raised a flatlander. But as of last Thanksgiving, I'd lived more of my life in Wisconsin than in Illinois. (Four more years, and half my life will have been in Wisconsin. Wow.)
Wisconsin is beautiful. My grandpa would go up to the northwoods to fish every year for vacation. He took his family. My mom grew up, and our family went up north. I grew up, and sometimes my mom & dad would take my family up north too. I love it up there (even if the water is too cold for swimming).
Wisconsin is beautiful. The Kettle-Moraine area is lovely to behold. The southwest corner of the state, too, is beautiful in its terrain and fields and woods.
And yet, Illinois is beautiful too. Besides that, I think there's something of a natural love for the place you knew as home. Immigrants talk with fondness of the fatherland. I mean, really, now, how many of you will think this
music is more beautiful than anything by Mozart or Beethoven? Well, I do. The Three-in-One gives me goosebumps just as much as Bach's Largo or Vivaldi's Seasons.
I don't have a clue as to what my own college's song was. I don't know the Badger songs at all. But Oskee-Wow-Wow is a different story. And it doesn't even bother me if my loved ones laugh at me for clapping my hands, thumping my foot in a Chief-like way, and singing Illini songs.
"Keep us marching and singing,
in true Illini spirit,
for our dear old Illinois."
in true Illini spirit,
for our dear old Illinois."
Today's Laugh
During the admission procedure at the hospital, new patients were asked if they suffered from any allergies.
If they did, the nurse printed a special "allergy band" which listed the allergens. This was then placed on the patient's wrist as a reference for all other hospital employees.
On one particular occasion the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies. The old dear responded by saying that she was unable to eat bananas.
Later that day, the nurse received a considerable surprise when a very irate son came out of the ward demanding, "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?"
If they did, the nurse printed a special "allergy band" which listed the allergens. This was then placed on the patient's wrist as a reference for all other hospital employees.
On one particular occasion the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies. The old dear responded by saying that she was unable to eat bananas.
Later that day, the nurse received a considerable surprise when a very irate son came out of the ward demanding, "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?"
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Flatlanders
When I was in teen choir at church, we went on tour each year. One year we headed west and visited Pueblo CO and Pikes Peak. When I arrived back home, I bubbled over with how beautiful the mountains were!
Dad told me that, when he came home from his military stint in Texas, he thought he'd never seen anything so beautiful as those flat fields of corn for as far as the eye could see. And let me tell ya, when you're in central Illinois, the eye can see a long, long, long way.
I didn't understand. It's just flat fields of corn. And little silos here and there. And elevators every 10 miles or so. What's so beautiful about that?
And then I went to college. In Chicago. Where there are buildings. Lots of buildings. No horizon. No sunsets. No space. No fields of corn. No stars at night because of all the lights.
One day Gary and I were driving down home to visit the folks. You know what???? There was a horizon out there in the country! You could see the whole sky! And miles and miles and miles of corn. Beautiful fields full of corn and beans.
Dad was right.
Dad told me that, when he came home from his military stint in Texas, he thought he'd never seen anything so beautiful as those flat fields of corn for as far as the eye could see. And let me tell ya, when you're in central Illinois, the eye can see a long, long, long way.
I didn't understand. It's just flat fields of corn. And little silos here and there. And elevators every 10 miles or so. What's so beautiful about that?
And then I went to college. In Chicago. Where there are buildings. Lots of buildings. No horizon. No sunsets. No space. No fields of corn. No stars at night because of all the lights.
One day Gary and I were driving down home to visit the folks. You know what???? There was a horizon out there in the country! You could see the whole sky! And miles and miles and miles of corn. Beautiful fields full of corn and beans.
Dad was right.
Today's Laugh
After passing the bar exam, a man opened his own law office. He was sitting at his desk when his secretary announced that a Mr. Jones had arrived to see him.
"Show him right in!" the lawyer replied.
As Mr. Jones was being ushered in, the lawyer wanted to look busy. He quickly picked up the phone and shouts into it "... and you tell them that we won't accept less than fifty thousand dollars, and don't even call me until you agree to that amount!"
Slamming down the phone, he stood up and said, "Good morning, Mr. Jones, what can I do for you?"
"I'm from the phone company," Mr. Jones replied. "I'm here to connect your phone."
"Show him right in!" the lawyer replied.
As Mr. Jones was being ushered in, the lawyer wanted to look busy. He quickly picked up the phone and shouts into it "... and you tell them that we won't accept less than fifty thousand dollars, and don't even call me until you agree to that amount!"
Slamming down the phone, he stood up and said, "Good morning, Mr. Jones, what can I do for you?"
"I'm from the phone company," Mr. Jones replied. "I'm here to connect your phone."
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Buying Shoes?
I've been in Birkenstocks all day every day for over nine years.
Today I saw the podiatrist. He diagnosed metatarsalgia. Because I have been doing all the right things to keep the problem from getting worse and coping with the pain, the next step is orthotic inserts. The first step in that will be to see if they'll be covered by insurance (probably not) and try to convince them of the necessity. Next step would be getting the inserts. And then comes something that I don't even know how to think about.
Buying shoes.
For nine years, my only choice in shoes was whether I wanted two straps or three straps on my sandals, and whether I wanted them in navy, black, or brown. Now I'm going to have to find some lace-up shoes. The options are overwhelming.
And...
what will I do about church? As the podiatrist and I conversed about my pain and the past solutions and the current options, he mentioned that you can't wear sensible shoes all the time. For instance, you can't wear Birkenstocks to a wedding or to an anniversary party.
Hmm. I guess if your feet hurt badly enough that you're willing to look ultra-dorky by wearing Birkenstocks to your daughters' weddings, then maybe you really do need the orthotics. Do you think the health insurance company will see this as compelling evidence?
Today I saw the podiatrist. He diagnosed metatarsalgia. Because I have been doing all the right things to keep the problem from getting worse and coping with the pain, the next step is orthotic inserts. The first step in that will be to see if they'll be covered by insurance (probably not) and try to convince them of the necessity. Next step would be getting the inserts. And then comes something that I don't even know how to think about.
Buying shoes.
For nine years, my only choice in shoes was whether I wanted two straps or three straps on my sandals, and whether I wanted them in navy, black, or brown. Now I'm going to have to find some lace-up shoes. The options are overwhelming.
And...
what will I do about church? As the podiatrist and I conversed about my pain and the past solutions and the current options, he mentioned that you can't wear sensible shoes all the time. For instance, you can't wear Birkenstocks to a wedding or to an anniversary party.
Hmm. I guess if your feet hurt badly enough that you're willing to look ultra-dorky by wearing Birkenstocks to your daughters' weddings, then maybe you really do need the orthotics. Do you think the health insurance company will see this as compelling evidence?
Today's Laugh
Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did. The bottle said "keep tightly closed."
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did. The bottle said "keep tightly closed."
Monday, February 08, 2010
New Glasses
Okay, the world is a bit wavy around the edges with these new bifocals. It's a lot easier to be still and read a book or be still and look at the computer than it is to work in the kitchen. I feel like I'm in a science fiction movie and reality is warping and twisting on the fringes. But it's actually easier wearing the no-line bifocals than I expected it would be. I hope I feel the same way by the end of tomorrow!
Wisdom Teeth
Andrew's home from his extractions. At first he was insisting that he didn't go to sleep during the surgery; the doctor and nurse thought otherwise. General anesthesia does tend to put a person to sleep. (Philip and Katie, did you guys have general anesthesia or just local? I don't remember your wisdom teeth being like this.) After Andrew saw the clock and how much time had passed, he thought maybe he did go to sleep for the surgery after all.
Andrew's doing well. He's watching tv and icing his cheeks.
The weirdest thing about the morning was that Maggie fainted. When we were removing Andrew's gauze packs and checking the level of his bleeding, it didn't set well with her. And pretty soon I saw her going. I caught her and broke her fall so she didn't hit her head or become injured in the fall. But that was weird. I've got one home from oral surgery, not barfing, not fainting, coping just fine, and it's the other one who crumples.
Andrew's doing well. He's watching tv and icing his cheeks.
The weirdest thing about the morning was that Maggie fainted. When we were removing Andrew's gauze packs and checking the level of his bleeding, it didn't set well with her. And pretty soon I saw her going. I caught her and broke her fall so she didn't hit her head or become injured in the fall. But that was weird. I've got one home from oral surgery, not barfing, not fainting, coping just fine, and it's the other one who crumples.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Lofty Goals
Some homeschoolers set lofty goals. They see no harm in shooting for the stars, achieving as much as possible. After all, no harm done if you fail at the goals, right? You've achieved more by setting high goals (and "failing") than you would've achieved if you set lower goals and actually met them.
Other homeschoolers set smaller goals that they're pretty sure they can meet. Whatever they do beyond that is gravy.
Right now I'm reading a book about social-skills curriculum and perspective taking. The author describes that social skills can be learned by folks with autism or VCFS or any number of other impairments. She discusses that the ability to learn these skills is on a continuum: some people just won't get it, some learn with great difficulty, some can learn relatively easily, and then there are the neuro-typical folks who learn social skills and perspective taking naturally. The author discussed recognizing the limitations that some children face:
Some parents express concern that by acknowledging that their child will not completely resolve his or her social/communication challenges, they are giving up "hope" for their child's future. I believe the opposite. Realistic hope helps us focus proactively on how services can help the child progress beyond his or her current level. In my experience, members of the treatment team who have unrealistic expectations often put unreasonable pressure on the child, parents, and supporting professionals. This creates stress and even animosity related to establishing and carrying out the treatment plan.
Thinking About You Thinking About Me: Teaching Perspective Taking and Social Thinking to Persons with Social Cognitive Learning Challenges; Michelle Garcia Winner, 2007, page 4.
Other homeschoolers set smaller goals that they're pretty sure they can meet. Whatever they do beyond that is gravy.
Right now I'm reading a book about social-skills curriculum and perspective taking. The author describes that social skills can be learned by folks with autism or VCFS or any number of other impairments. She discusses that the ability to learn these skills is on a continuum: some people just won't get it, some learn with great difficulty, some can learn relatively easily, and then there are the neuro-typical folks who learn social skills and perspective taking naturally. The author discussed recognizing the limitations that some children face:
Some parents express concern that by acknowledging that their child will not completely resolve his or her social/communication challenges, they are giving up "hope" for their child's future. I believe the opposite. Realistic hope helps us focus proactively on how services can help the child progress beyond his or her current level. In my experience, members of the treatment team who have unrealistic expectations often put unreasonable pressure on the child, parents, and supporting professionals. This creates stress and even animosity related to establishing and carrying out the treatment plan.
Thinking About You Thinking About Me: Teaching Perspective Taking and Social Thinking to Persons with Social Cognitive Learning Challenges; Michelle Garcia Winner, 2007, page 4.
Locusts
Our story in Bible class today was from Exodus 6-8, the plagues on Egypt. Pastor mentioned that blood flowing is always a sign of death. He mentioned the lice and flies which are pesty and disease-causing as a result of the Fall. He mentioned the boils as disease which is indicative of death. He mentioned that locusts are never a sign of anything good in the Bible; they are always destructive.
And then he threw in a side-comment:
I think that's why John the Baptist had the diet he had. Devouring the locusts showed the triumph of the forgiveness of sins over destructive forces.
Cool!
And then he threw in a side-comment:
I think that's why John the Baptist had the diet he had. Devouring the locusts showed the triumph of the forgiveness of sins over destructive forces.
Cool!
Today's Laugh
Two silver-haired women entered a restaurant for lunch.
Each caught the other's look of joyful recognition; they had been college mates 50 years earlier. They spent the afternoon laughing and reminiscing.
Then one looked at the other in obvious embarrassment. "I hate to say this," she confessed, "but what is your name?"
The other one thought a moment, then asked ruefully, "How soon do you need to know?"
Each caught the other's look of joyful recognition; they had been college mates 50 years earlier. They spent the afternoon laughing and reminiscing.
Then one looked at the other in obvious embarrassment. "I hate to say this," she confessed, "but what is your name?"
The other one thought a moment, then asked ruefully, "How soon do you need to know?"
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Qualifying Child
Does anyone else think it's very odd that the instructions for our tax forms specify that your child is not only your son or daughter, but also is younger than you and/or your spouse?
Friday, February 05, 2010
Busy Day, Accomplishing Little
So, is that title a paradox?
Chapel.
Went to the hardware store for a couple of items.
Banking.
Made kombucha.
Watched physics dvd's with Andrew.
Paid some bills.
Hit three different grocery stores.
Stopped in to see if my new glasses had arrived. (They hadn't.)
Got a haircut.
Took Maggie to choir and did Alg2 with Andrew while we waited.
Gassed and washed the van.
Arranged doctor appointments.
Wrote up Leah & Maggie's Greek worksheets for the week.
Began figuring the taxes while watching a weird movie.
But ...
forgot to buy the chicken.
So had frozen pizza instead of gumbo for supper.
Didn't wash dishes.
Didn't catch up on school record-keeping.
Didn't make bread and granola.
Didn't get to the library for the ACT-prep book.
Didn't help Maggie with schoolwork today or grade anything.
May tomorrow be more productive! Hear, hear!
Chapel.
Went to the hardware store for a couple of items.
Banking.
Made kombucha.
Watched physics dvd's with Andrew.
Paid some bills.
Hit three different grocery stores.
Stopped in to see if my new glasses had arrived. (They hadn't.)
Got a haircut.
Took Maggie to choir and did Alg2 with Andrew while we waited.
Gassed and washed the van.
Arranged doctor appointments.
Wrote up Leah & Maggie's Greek worksheets for the week.
Began figuring the taxes while watching a weird movie.
But ...
forgot to buy the chicken.
So had frozen pizza instead of gumbo for supper.
Didn't wash dishes.
Didn't catch up on school record-keeping.
Didn't make bread and granola.
Didn't get to the library for the ACT-prep book.
Didn't help Maggie with schoolwork today or grade anything.
May tomorrow be more productive! Hear, hear!
Today's Laugh
A girl was complaining to her friend that she was constantly being teased about being so dumb.
"Do something to prove them wrong," her friend suggested. "Learn all 50 capitals of the states or something."
The girl thinks this is a great idea, so she locks herself up in a room to study.
The next weekend she goes to a party and says, "I can name the capitals of all 50 states."
One person says, "Okay, what's the capital of Montana?"
"I know this! I know this! The capital of Montana is M!"
"Do something to prove them wrong," her friend suggested. "Learn all 50 capitals of the states or something."
The girl thinks this is a great idea, so she locks herself up in a room to study.
The next weekend she goes to a party and says, "I can name the capitals of all 50 states."
One person says, "Okay, what's the capital of Montana?"
"I know this! I know this! The capital of Montana is M!"
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Online Banking
We are in the process of changing banks. I spent three and a half hours on the computer tonight, setting up how to pay our bills online now that I can no longer do it from the old account. I'm sure I'm not done with this project.
All this online stuff is in the interest of making bill-paying faster and easier. Right? Right???
All this online stuff is in the interest of making bill-paying faster and easier. Right? Right???
VCFS Picture
After posting pictures of Katie and Maggie, these photos add another dimension. Maggie (in the yellow shirt) has VCFS. When she had her curly hair straightened, she looked amazingly like her sister Katie (who does not have VCFS).
Today's Laugh
My wife's psychiatrist just called me and said, "Did you know she was going to poison you?"
I said, "No! What do you suggest?"
"After talking to her for three hours, my suggestion to you is to take the poison."
I said, "No! What do you suggest?"
"After talking to her for three hours, my suggestion to you is to take the poison."
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Fox & Hounds
Sunday was our birthday dinner party. Laura has fun pictures on her blog. Here's one of them:
(Mom, you'll like the one of Andrew that Laura has. Go peek at her blog.)
(Mom, you'll like the one of Andrew that Laura has. Go peek at her blog.)
Braces
Woo hoo! I heard from the orthodontist's office that our dental insurance pays more than what we thought. The bill for Andrew's braces will be $700 less than anticipated!
James 5:16
Confess your trespasses to one another,
and pray for one another,
that you may be healed.
The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
"That you may be healed." This is kind of an amusing verse for the week when our church school was canceled for a day due to massive numbers of sick students & teachers.
Now to the non-silly stuff from chapel:
Pastor asked how prayer is "effective." The answer? When it is grounded in God's word and His promises. When we speak back to Him what He has first spoken to us. Isaiah 55 tells us that God's word accomplishes what He intends.
Pastor asked how prayer is "fervent." The answer? When we cling to Him in faith and let nothing get in the way, but keep our eyes only on Him (and not even on the blessings He gives).
And most importantly, Pastor asked what "avails much" means. The answer? Accomplishes what God intends. Hey! Wait a minute! I never heard that before! What God intends? I always heard this passage used to say that the prayer will accomplish what the one doing the praying intends. What God intends? That puts it in a whole different light!
and pray for one another,
that you may be healed.
The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
"That you may be healed." This is kind of an amusing verse for the week when our church school was canceled for a day due to massive numbers of sick students & teachers.
Now to the non-silly stuff from chapel:
Pastor asked how prayer is "effective." The answer? When it is grounded in God's word and His promises. When we speak back to Him what He has first spoken to us. Isaiah 55 tells us that God's word accomplishes what He intends.
Pastor asked how prayer is "fervent." The answer? When we cling to Him in faith and let nothing get in the way, but keep our eyes only on Him (and not even on the blessings He gives).
And most importantly, Pastor asked what "avails much" means. The answer? Accomplishes what God intends. Hey! Wait a minute! I never heard that before! What God intends? I always heard this passage used to say that the prayer will accomplish what the one doing the praying intends. What God intends? That puts it in a whole different light!
Today's Laugh
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology.
A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating-looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said.
"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating-looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said.
"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Done
Tonight I finished an editing project that I've been working on since August 2004. Well, I'll still have to take a peek at it after Pastor finishes up the part I leave in his hands, but that's speedy stuff. I wonder what I'll do in my free time now?
Today's Laugh
New Lutheran homeschoolers often want to know where to find "Lutheran curriculum." Because there are a variety of Reformed, Baptist, and Catholic curricula, among others, it's not an entirely unreasonable question. But there isn't a "Lutheran curriculum."
In response to the concept of a Lutheran math curriculum, my friend EC suggested this:
♫ 99 bottles of beer on the wall,
99 bottles of beer.
You take one down and pass it around,
98 bottles of beer on the wall.
98 bottles of beer on the wall,
98 bottles of beer... ♫
Sounds pretty Lutheran to me!
In response to the concept of a Lutheran math curriculum, my friend EC suggested this:
♫ 99 bottles of beer on the wall,
99 bottles of beer.
You take one down and pass it around,
98 bottles of beer on the wall.
98 bottles of beer on the wall,
98 bottles of beer... ♫
Sounds pretty Lutheran to me!
Monday, February 01, 2010
Orthodontia
This morning was the consultation with the orthodontist. Tomorrow we have a consultation with the oral surgeon to discuss the easy little Step 1 -- extraction of Andrew's wisdom teeth.
Step 2 is expansion of his upper palate. Although this works 100% of the time in preteens, the orthodontist says it also works in about 90% of adult patients. The growth plates in his wrist show that he's done growing (hooray for not needing bigger shoes!!!!) so the "suture" in his palate is firming up but hopefully can be treated without surgery. After he heals from the removal of his wisdom teeth, he will spend 2-4 weeks with this appliance on the roof of his mouth, widening his palate.
Assuming the appliance works and he grows a nice big fat space between his front teeth, he will then have braces for about 3 years to improve his bite. His teeth will not be completely corrected after the braces but should be much improved. We consulted with two orthodontists; both said correction will be impossible given what a mess he has in his mouth, whether he has surgery or not. But today there was good news from the in-depth examination a couple of weeks ago. In spite of the crossbite and openbite, everything else looks like it's in alignment with itself and should respond to treatment fairly well.
If the appliance doesn't work to widen his palate, then we will have to consult again with the oral surgeon about palate surgery and costs and risks.
Overall, because there are so many things wrong with his mouth, the orthodontia will be a step-by-step procedure. If everything goes as it should, the repairs will be long but relatively simple. But there are so many variables that could present kinks. So for right now, we're going to get rid of those wisdom teeth and then try the expander ... and pray that the expander does what the doctor wants it to do! Hopefully by summer we will have Andrew in nice, boring braces with no prospect for palate surgery.
Step 2 is expansion of his upper palate. Although this works 100% of the time in preteens, the orthodontist says it also works in about 90% of adult patients. The growth plates in his wrist show that he's done growing (hooray for not needing bigger shoes!!!!) so the "suture" in his palate is firming up but hopefully can be treated without surgery. After he heals from the removal of his wisdom teeth, he will spend 2-4 weeks with this appliance on the roof of his mouth, widening his palate.
Assuming the appliance works and he grows a nice big fat space between his front teeth, he will then have braces for about 3 years to improve his bite. His teeth will not be completely corrected after the braces but should be much improved. We consulted with two orthodontists; both said correction will be impossible given what a mess he has in his mouth, whether he has surgery or not. But today there was good news from the in-depth examination a couple of weeks ago. In spite of the crossbite and openbite, everything else looks like it's in alignment with itself and should respond to treatment fairly well.
If the appliance doesn't work to widen his palate, then we will have to consult again with the oral surgeon about palate surgery and costs and risks.
Overall, because there are so many things wrong with his mouth, the orthodontia will be a step-by-step procedure. If everything goes as it should, the repairs will be long but relatively simple. But there are so many variables that could present kinks. So for right now, we're going to get rid of those wisdom teeth and then try the expander ... and pray that the expander does what the doctor wants it to do! Hopefully by summer we will have Andrew in nice, boring braces with no prospect for palate surgery.
Today's Laugh
Homeschooling mommies often hear complaints about how we let our kids do "whatever they want." With that in mind, I proffer a recollection from my Uncle Ray about our family reunions once upon a long time ago.
Roger Ebert is one of our family relations. I can never keep straight the connection; I think he might be Mom's second cousin. And yes, I mean that Roger Ebert.
So all the aunties are sitting around talking. "Hasn't Roger gotten a real job yet? Will he ever grow up? When is he going to stop watching movies all day and make something of himself?"
Roger Ebert is one of our family relations. I can never keep straight the connection; I think he might be Mom's second cousin. And yes, I mean that Roger Ebert.
So all the aunties are sitting around talking. "Hasn't Roger gotten a real job yet? Will he ever grow up? When is he going to stop watching movies all day and make something of himself?"
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Update on the Mundane
I'm getting close to finishing an editing project I've been working on for nearly two months now. I've got to get it completed so that we can get back to regular school-school instead of putzy attempts at school.
Andrew and Maggie had friends over yesterday. One of them spent the night. Maggie spent the afternoon with another friend. School at Peace is canceled tomorrow due to 1/3 of the kids & teachers being sick, so we will be sleeping in tomorrow instead of going to chapel.
Leah and Maggie and I got back to our Greek study last week.
The cats are enjoying the warm weather. In other words, I haven't had to clean the litter box in more than 48 hours. Hooray!
Laundry is caught up. Housecleaning is not.
Gary and I went out with two other couples tonight to celebrate birthdays. We have three birthdays within four days, and it's fun to celebrate together (even if we're rather late for our own birthday party). It's so good to sit with friends and talk. Something possessed me this afternoon, and I made a cherry pie and a banana cream pie so that we could have dessert at home instead of at the restaurant. Yum.
The sun has been shining 4 out of the last 5 days. That's a lovely change after two weeks of sunlessness.
In another day or two, we should have all the 1099s and W-2s and I'll "get to" start on the taxes and Paul's financial aid forms. But at least there's leftover pie...
Andrew and Maggie had friends over yesterday. One of them spent the night. Maggie spent the afternoon with another friend. School at Peace is canceled tomorrow due to 1/3 of the kids & teachers being sick, so we will be sleeping in tomorrow instead of going to chapel.
Leah and Maggie and I got back to our Greek study last week.
The cats are enjoying the warm weather. In other words, I haven't had to clean the litter box in more than 48 hours. Hooray!
Laundry is caught up. Housecleaning is not.
Gary and I went out with two other couples tonight to celebrate birthdays. We have three birthdays within four days, and it's fun to celebrate together (even if we're rather late for our own birthday party). It's so good to sit with friends and talk. Something possessed me this afternoon, and I made a cherry pie and a banana cream pie so that we could have dessert at home instead of at the restaurant. Yum.
The sun has been shining 4 out of the last 5 days. That's a lovely change after two weeks of sunlessness.
In another day or two, we should have all the 1099s and W-2s and I'll "get to" start on the taxes and Paul's financial aid forms. But at least there's leftover pie...
Today's Laugh
Stolen from an introduction at symposium:
It's been a really cold winter!
How cold is it?
It's so cold that the politicians have their hands in their own pockets for a change.
It's been a really cold winter!
How cold is it?
It's so cold that the politicians have their hands in their own pockets for a change.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Unconditional Love
Sometimes I HATE unconditional love. Sometimes, you don't know whether someone befriends you because they're being kind and are [sigh...] tolerating you, or whether they genuinely like you. Maybe this is terrible, but sometimes I want to know that my friends like me for me and not just because they're supposed to.
I've been wondering about this for a while, but seeing The Blind Side the other day renewed the questions. There were things about the mom in the story that I definitely recognized in myself. But she was confident. She did what needed to be done; she told people what she thought; she made things happen. I'm always scared of imposing; I try to watch myself so that I don't accidentally run over people. But that makes me scared tointerfere with get involved in other people's lives -- surely they already have friends and responsibilities and commitments enough.
Jesus delights in sacrificing Himself for us, taking on our sin, loving the unlovable ones. But humans? They're sinners. Sinful people sometimes resent impositions. So how does a person gauge whether friendships are being welcomed or tolerated?
I've been wondering about this for a while, but seeing The Blind Side the other day renewed the questions. There were things about the mom in the story that I definitely recognized in myself. But she was confident. She did what needed to be done; she told people what she thought; she made things happen. I'm always scared of imposing; I try to watch myself so that I don't accidentally run over people. But that makes me scared to
Jesus delights in sacrificing Himself for us, taking on our sin, loving the unlovable ones. But humans? They're sinners. Sinful people sometimes resent impositions. So how does a person gauge whether friendships are being welcomed or tolerated?
Friday, January 29, 2010
Store Bread
The last time I made bread was more than two weeks ago. Andrew and I were out of town in Fort Wayne for symposia, and then we trekked over to Mankato and were gone for another two days. The freezer was gradually emptied of its loaves of frozen homemade goodness. I actually resorted to buying bread from the store yesterday.
This morning I'm mixing and kneading away, and Maggie comes in, takes a look, and asks about the rest of the store-bread. She likes it. You can taste the cheese in the grilled cheese. You can taste the peanuttiness of the peanut butter. You can taste the delicious jam on the toast. In other words, the home-made bread has too much flavor, and she prefers the air-bread.
Kids....
Sheesh.
This morning I'm mixing and kneading away, and Maggie comes in, takes a look, and asks about the rest of the store-bread. She likes it. You can taste the cheese in the grilled cheese. You can taste the peanuttiness of the peanut butter. You can taste the delicious jam on the toast. In other words, the home-made bread has too much flavor, and she prefers the air-bread.
Kids....
Sheesh.
Today's Laugh
Give a man a fish, and he has food for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he has to buy a bamboo rod, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, tackle box, spinners, 20-pocket vest, fish-finder, depth gauges, radio, boat, global positioning system, cooker, trailer, and a six-pack.
Teach a man to fish, and he has to buy a bamboo rod, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, tackle box, spinners, 20-pocket vest, fish-finder, depth gauges, radio, boat, global positioning system, cooker, trailer, and a six-pack.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Blind Side
Gary and I went on a date tonight. Yes, we did. We went to the optician and picked out bifocals for each of us. (As Kathy said, this is what's known as growing old together!) Then we used movie passes to watch The Blind Side, and then used a gift card to get a treat at Applebees. How 'bout that for some excitement? And I'm not being facetious. Those of you who think I am, just wait till you're as old as we are. So there.
The movie was great. I can't think of any movie I liked better; it's as good as Anne. Everybody told us we'd like this movie, that it was exactly our cup of tea, and they were right. It was funny. It was sweet. It was encouraging. It was decent. It had sports to root for. It had Ferdinand. But the funniest part was Sandra Bullock's portrayal of a no-nonsense Southern momma. She was perfect. I wonder if the movie would've been as funny if we hadn't spent that year in Mississippi and seen mommas exactly like the heroine in the story. It was such a crack-up!
Even though we pulled off a trip to the theatre to see this movie, it's staying on our Netflix queue so we can watch it again as soon as it's available on dvd.
The movie was great. I can't think of any movie I liked better; it's as good as Anne. Everybody told us we'd like this movie, that it was exactly our cup of tea, and they were right. It was funny. It was sweet. It was encouraging. It was decent. It had sports to root for. It had Ferdinand. But the funniest part was Sandra Bullock's portrayal of a no-nonsense Southern momma. She was perfect. I wonder if the movie would've been as funny if we hadn't spent that year in Mississippi and seen mommas exactly like the heroine in the story. It was such a crack-up!
Even though we pulled off a trip to the theatre to see this movie, it's staying on our Netflix queue so we can watch it again as soon as it's available on dvd.
Today's Laugh
There is a terrible disease called kleptomania. When it gets really bad, one should take something for it.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Stinky Kitchen
When I arrived home from Fort Wayne on Friday night, the kitchen stunk. Nobody else smelled it. I looked for dead mice. I took out the trash and washed the garbage can. I wiped the counters, expecting to find a sticky & stinky spill. Nope. Still smelled it.
When I arrived home from Minnesota on Monday night, the kitchen still stunk. Still, nobody else smelled it. I scrubbed the garbage can that holds the recyclables. We looked through all the potatoes, expecting to find a rotten one, but they were nice, unstinky, unslimy potatoes. I took the kitchen towels and washcloths to the laundry room in case there had been a milk spill that had been wiped up with an inappropriate cloth. And the kitchen still stunk.
But now I've found it! I tried scrubbing the kitchen sink. While at it, I used cleanser on the screen-like drain-traps and scrubbed them with a brush. Black gunk spritzed from the screen all over my clean sink. After I rinsed all that stuff down the drain and scrubbed the drain-hole too, the smell began to disappear.
So now I'm wondering what it is that I do in the kitchen, different from what Gary and Maggie were doing, that prevents food and gunk from sitting and rotting in the tiny holes of the drain-trap. Is it the heat of the water I use? Is it my anal desire to dump the gunk from the trap multiple times each day? Is it how long dirty dishwater sits before being thrown out? And the other thing is -- why couldn't anybody else smell it???
When I arrived home from Minnesota on Monday night, the kitchen still stunk. Still, nobody else smelled it. I scrubbed the garbage can that holds the recyclables. We looked through all the potatoes, expecting to find a rotten one, but they were nice, unstinky, unslimy potatoes. I took the kitchen towels and washcloths to the laundry room in case there had been a milk spill that had been wiped up with an inappropriate cloth. And the kitchen still stunk.
But now I've found it! I tried scrubbing the kitchen sink. While at it, I used cleanser on the screen-like drain-traps and scrubbed them with a brush. Black gunk spritzed from the screen all over my clean sink. After I rinsed all that stuff down the drain and scrubbed the drain-hole too, the smell began to disappear.
So now I'm wondering what it is that I do in the kitchen, different from what Gary and Maggie were doing, that prevents food and gunk from sitting and rotting in the tiny holes of the drain-trap. Is it the heat of the water I use? Is it my anal desire to dump the gunk from the trap multiple times each day? Is it how long dirty dishwater sits before being thrown out? And the other thing is -- why couldn't anybody else smell it???
Today's Laugh
It was a time of terrible flooding. A rescue helicopter arrived. It winched up ten men and one woman, all hanging onto a looped rope dangling below the helicopter. The weight was too much; the helicopter struggled to gain height to take the people over the swirling waters. A plea was made that one person had to sacrifice for the good of the others, and fall off the rope. Immediately the woman gave a short speech, "I will let go of the rope because I am a woman and I am accustomed to give everything for my husband, kids, and men in particular with little chance of anything in return."
At this declaration, the men all started to clap their hands.
At this declaration, the men all started to clap their hands.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Kneeling
During Weinrich's presentation at symposium last week, he mentioned that worship in a mosque involves the Muslims kneeling on the ground, faces to the ground, but that Christians are free sons and stand before their God.
I kept wondering about that. We kneel. We do.
Then it came up in Sunday's sermon here. So I asked about it.
Pastor pointed out two things. Simplest first: yes, Christians would kneel before their Lord. The disciples on the Mount of Transfiguration. The Canaanite woman. The wise men. The Israelites who returned to Jerusalem from Babylon (Nehemiah 8). But what does He do? He raises us up. Muslims start their worship with their faces to the ground, stay that way throughout worship, and end that way. Christians kneel in worship, but our Lord does not leave us in the dirt.
Second: Muslims kneel because of the grandeur and majesty that they believe is glorious beyond their reach. When do Christians kneel? At the homo factus est and at the Words of Institution and when receiving the Sacrament. Christians kneel for Jesus' condescension. Christians kneel at the words which proclaim how our Lord came down to us, not because He is majestic and glorious and awesome.
Hmmm. This may be the answer to another question I've had. Some pastors genuflect during the Sanctus at "Holy, holy, holy." Other pastors kneel during the Sanctus at the words "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord." Maybe this is why???
I kept wondering about that. We kneel. We do.
Then it came up in Sunday's sermon here. So I asked about it.
Pastor pointed out two things. Simplest first: yes, Christians would kneel before their Lord. The disciples on the Mount of Transfiguration. The Canaanite woman. The wise men. The Israelites who returned to Jerusalem from Babylon (Nehemiah 8). But what does He do? He raises us up. Muslims start their worship with their faces to the ground, stay that way throughout worship, and end that way. Christians kneel in worship, but our Lord does not leave us in the dirt.
Second: Muslims kneel because of the grandeur and majesty that they believe is glorious beyond their reach. When do Christians kneel? At the homo factus est and at the Words of Institution and when receiving the Sacrament. Christians kneel for Jesus' condescension. Christians kneel at the words which proclaim how our Lord came down to us, not because He is majestic and glorious and awesome.
Hmmm. This may be the answer to another question I've had. Some pastors genuflect during the Sanctus at "Holy, holy, holy." Other pastors kneel during the Sanctus at the words "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord." Maybe this is why???
Today's Laugh
A student answered a question at the geography bee. Mrs Hughes told him it was wrong. "But the right answer is what I meant! And what I said was close!" responded the student.
Mrs Hughes answered, "Close only counts in horseshoes."
And a small group of kids added, "And hand grenades."
And a few more kids added, "And detonating nuclear weapons!"
I laughed!
Gary says this is an old joke, but I never heard it till this year's geography bee.
Mrs Hughes answered, "Close only counts in horseshoes."
And a small group of kids added, "And hand grenades."
And a few more kids added, "And detonating nuclear weapons!"
I laughed!
Gary says this is an old joke, but I never heard it till this year's geography bee.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Today's Laugh
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
- - - - - - - - - -
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- - - - - - - - - -
Clones are people two!
- - - - - - - - - -
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- - - - - - - - - -
Clones are people two!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Today's Laugh
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- - - - - - - - -
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
- - - - - - - - -
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
- - - - - - - - -
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
- - - - - - - - -
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Your Bank
Barbara had a blog post recently about banks. She wrote about bank failures and gave some information on how to evaluate the safety of your bank. Don't be put off by the language about using this as an economics lesson for your homeschooled teenagers; this is something we should all check out. Our community bank in Darien had a 5-star rating, but our current bank is going downhill with an increasing "troubled asset ratio." Barbara has several links; the easiest one just tells how many stars your bank rates.
Today's Laugh
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
- - - - - - - - -
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant???
- - - - - - - - -
Whose cruel idea was it to have an "S" in "lisp"?
- - - - - - - - -
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant???
- - - - - - - - -
Whose cruel idea was it to have an "S" in "lisp"?
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Bulllies
Some people complain that homeschoolers will never learn to deal with bullies. Hey, I went to public school, and I don't know how to deal with bullies either.
Ignoring them doesn't work.
"Tattling" (also known as "going to the authorities") works insofar as the authority is able to keep watch and is willing to act against the bullying.
Retaliation through physical force or other means is usually not appropriate, besides the fact that it's usually ineffective.
I've heard that the only way that stands a chance is to speak out clearly against the bullying, calling it what it is, in a voice loud enough to bring attention to the bully's misbehavior, and having the whole group agree on certain consequences for the bully, such as being shunned. In other words, those who observe the bullying must side with the victim and not become intimidated themselves.
The thing I struggle with is attitude. I know that behavior follows attitude. If a person behaves inappropriately and clearly has had no change of heart, I struggle with saying "I forgive you" when their apology doesn't take responsibility for what they did. "I'm sorry you were hurt" or "I'm sorry you can't take a joke" is not the same as "I was wrong." Works flow from faith. Good works flow from a right faith; not-nice works flow from a false faith or a me-centered faith. So if you see that the antagonizer has had no change of heart, you can't reasonably expect the bullying behavior to stop.
But I guess --in the Kingdom of the Left-- we don't care about faith. We don't care about attitude. We don't care about outlooks. We only care about behavior. Ill behavior is punished; good behavior is rewarded; we don't care what the motivation is; we just care about the actions. It's just so hard when you know the hurtful actions aren't going to go away.
Ignoring them doesn't work.
"Tattling" (also known as "going to the authorities") works insofar as the authority is able to keep watch and is willing to act against the bullying.
Retaliation through physical force or other means is usually not appropriate, besides the fact that it's usually ineffective.
I've heard that the only way that stands a chance is to speak out clearly against the bullying, calling it what it is, in a voice loud enough to bring attention to the bully's misbehavior, and having the whole group agree on certain consequences for the bully, such as being shunned. In other words, those who observe the bullying must side with the victim and not become intimidated themselves.
The thing I struggle with is attitude. I know that behavior follows attitude. If a person behaves inappropriately and clearly has had no change of heart, I struggle with saying "I forgive you" when their apology doesn't take responsibility for what they did. "I'm sorry you were hurt" or "I'm sorry you can't take a joke" is not the same as "I was wrong." Works flow from faith. Good works flow from a right faith; not-nice works flow from a false faith or a me-centered faith. So if you see that the antagonizer has had no change of heart, you can't reasonably expect the bullying behavior to stop.
But I guess --in the Kingdom of the Left-- we don't care about faith. We don't care about attitude. We don't care about outlooks. We only care about behavior. Ill behavior is punished; good behavior is rewarded; we don't care what the motivation is; we just care about the actions. It's just so hard when you know the hurtful actions aren't going to go away.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Split Heels
Winter means split, cracked, painful heels. Taking good care of your feet prevents the worst of the problems, but the dry air from the furnace still wreaks havoc on your feet as you get older.
This year I decided to try comfrey. Comfrey is an herb that encourages skin-cell production; it's good for healing cuts and other skin wounds. I had good luck with it before. I poured olive oil over a shot glass full of comfrey leaves and let it soak for a few days. Using a drop or two of that oil on my heels every day [well, you know how it goes, maybe it's actually 4-5 times a week] has done wonders for the cracking and splitting!
The only problem is that the cat likes to sneak onto my dresser and slurp up the olive oil. Weird Rosie!
This year I decided to try comfrey. Comfrey is an herb that encourages skin-cell production; it's good for healing cuts and other skin wounds. I had good luck with it before. I poured olive oil over a shot glass full of comfrey leaves and let it soak for a few days. Using a drop or two of that oil on my heels every day [well, you know how it goes, maybe it's actually 4-5 times a week] has done wonders for the cracking and splitting!
The only problem is that the cat likes to sneak onto my dresser and slurp up the olive oil. Weird Rosie!
Today's Laugh
I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?"
He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc."
He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc."
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
For the Joy Set Before Him
Once upon a time, Pastor Wieting arranged an evangelism festival. He asked a Pastor Vetter to come speak. It was awesome! Not about what we should "do" to obey some command to "evangelize" people, but it was all about the Gospel promises to us and to our neighbors. One tidbit has stuck with me these past 20+ years since I heard Pr Vetter.
Some people wonder why God allows evil to continue in this world. "If there really were a God," they say, "He wouldn't have allowed evil to continue." Couldn't God have killed off Adam and Eve, and just started from scratch and gotten it right on His second try?
That's when Pr Vetter pointed out that, if God had done that, He wouldn't have had YOU.
We are sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. If our parents had been wiped out, WE wouldn't BE. If there could have been perfect people on the world, they would have descended from somebody besides our first parents, and so WE would not exist at all.
Come, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (from Hebrews 12:2)
Pr Vetter said that the Lenten verse tells us that WE are the joy set before Jesus, the reason He endured the cross. To have us as His own is His loving motivation.
Some people wonder why God allows evil to continue in this world. "If there really were a God," they say, "He wouldn't have allowed evil to continue." Couldn't God have killed off Adam and Eve, and just started from scratch and gotten it right on His second try?
That's when Pr Vetter pointed out that, if God had done that, He wouldn't have had YOU.
We are sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. If our parents had been wiped out, WE wouldn't BE. If there could have been perfect people on the world, they would have descended from somebody besides our first parents, and so WE would not exist at all.
Come, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (from Hebrews 12:2)
Pr Vetter said that the Lenten verse tells us that WE are the joy set before Jesus, the reason He endured the cross. To have us as His own is His loving motivation.
Monday, January 18, 2010
To the Fort
Finished up the bulk of the work on my current editing project. The last steps can be accomplished while I'm out of town this week.
Van is packed full of CCA material. I'm off to symposia to fill in for the deacon for the week ... and to see old friends! The hard part is always the self-discipline -- making ourselves sleep at night instead of trying to squeeze in every last minute of visiting we can.
With hopes of coming home at the end of the week both
-- satiated with the joy of being with buddies, and
-- not drop-dead exhausted.
This is my goal! (And it would be all the cheerier if I hit good traffic through Chicago. But I don't want to wish for too much and push my luck....)
Van is packed full of CCA material. I'm off to symposia to fill in for the deacon for the week ... and to see old friends! The hard part is always the self-discipline -- making ourselves sleep at night instead of trying to squeeze in every last minute of visiting we can.
With hopes of coming home at the end of the week both
-- satiated with the joy of being with buddies, and
-- not drop-dead exhausted.
This is my goal! (And it would be all the cheerier if I hit good traffic through Chicago. But I don't want to wish for too much and push my luck....)
Today's Laugh
The teacher asked the children to draw a picture of Mommy at work. This is Sarah's drawing:
The next day, Sarah's mommy sent this note to the teacher:
Dear Miss Greenwood,
That is not a dance pole on stage in a dancing club. I work at Wal-mart, and that's me selling a shovel.
Yours faithfully, Nancy Anderson.
The next day, Sarah's mommy sent this note to the teacher:
Dear Miss Greenwood,
That is not a dance pole on stage in a dancing club. I work at Wal-mart, and that's me selling a shovel.
Yours faithfully, Nancy Anderson.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Dilated Pupils
We saw the eye doctor today to get a prescription for [ta da!] those bifocals I didn't want to succumb to several years ago. Boy, it was the most fun I've ever had at the ophthalmologist! Gary and I spent time in the waiting room with friends who were also there -- lots of laughing and telling stories and having a grand ol' time!
We came out of the building and saw the piles of snow at the edges of the parking lot. Radiant piles of snow. Never saw such shiny, glowing snow! As Gary-of-the-undilated-pupils drove us home, I commented on the fact that my eyes are dilated on such a nice sunny day when I could otherwise have been out soaking up the rays. His response? A perplexed, "Sunny????" Oh.
So, I guess I've found an answer for the lack of sunshine that afflicts us in the north. All you have to do is break into the eye doctor's office, steal bottles of dilating drops, and open up your pupils to the light that's there, and let it stream into your head in humongo doses. Easy as pie! (Shhh, let's not talk about cataracts or macular degeneration.)
And you know what else nice happened today? I saw the new Woodmans being built. I saw the sign on the highway. I saw the concrete front wall that has been erected. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Woodmans is getting closer to being opened!!!! (Okay, so they need three more walls and a roof before they can even begin electrical work or plumbing or finishing or building a parking lot. Still -- "open" is closer than it was! Let us rejoice and be glad!)
We came out of the building and saw the piles of snow at the edges of the parking lot. Radiant piles of snow. Never saw such shiny, glowing snow! As Gary-of-the-undilated-pupils drove us home, I commented on the fact that my eyes are dilated on such a nice sunny day when I could otherwise have been out soaking up the rays. His response? A perplexed, "Sunny????" Oh.
So, I guess I've found an answer for the lack of sunshine that afflicts us in the north. All you have to do is break into the eye doctor's office, steal bottles of dilating drops, and open up your pupils to the light that's there, and let it stream into your head in humongo doses. Easy as pie! (Shhh, let's not talk about cataracts or macular degeneration.)
And you know what else nice happened today? I saw the new Woodmans being built. I saw the sign on the highway. I saw the concrete front wall that has been erected. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Woodmans is getting closer to being opened!!!! (Okay, so they need three more walls and a roof before they can even begin electrical work or plumbing or finishing or building a parking lot. Still -- "open" is closer than it was! Let us rejoice and be glad!)
Today's Laugh
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Oh no! This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Oh no! This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Friday, January 15, 2010
Before the Foundation of the World
Tonight we watched the Star of Bethlehem movie. The lecturer begins with the question of whether the star was (zap!) a miraculous phenomenon that God zotted into existence when Jesus was born, or was it instead a naturally-occurring alignment of stars and planets that was part of nature? His conclusion is that the star was a naturally-occurring alignment that God built into the skies when He created the world, such that it would point to His Son's birth at the right time and place.
You were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you. (1 Peter 1)
If it is true that God built this into the stars, that means these signs (Genesis 1:14) were already planned before the creation of man. If that is true, then God knew from before the foundation of the world that Christ, the blameless Lamb, would shed His blood to redeem you.
Okay, I knew that. I knew that God wasn't [gasp!] caught by surprise when man sinned. God didn't have to come up with Plan B to unite His people to Himself.
But think about what that means. It means that He knew before He created man that He would save them. Not only does it mean He knew, but it means He created anyway. He knew what it would cost Him to save mankind from their rebellion and hatred of Him. But He didn't say "Phooey on this; who needs it?"
That is a love too big to comprehend.
You were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you. (1 Peter 1)
If it is true that God built this into the stars, that means these signs (Genesis 1:14) were already planned before the creation of man. If that is true, then God knew from before the foundation of the world that Christ, the blameless Lamb, would shed His blood to redeem you.
Okay, I knew that. I knew that God wasn't [gasp!] caught by surprise when man sinned. God didn't have to come up with Plan B to unite His people to Himself.
But think about what that means. It means that He knew before He created man that He would save them. Not only does it mean He knew, but it means He created anyway. He knew what it would cost Him to save mankind from their rebellion and hatred of Him. But He didn't say "Phooey on this; who needs it?"
That is a love too big to comprehend.
Luke and Chronology
Some pastors I know say that, in the first chapter of Luke, Mary's song (the Magnificat) is the greeting that she spoke to Elizabeth when she arrived for her visit. They say that the Gospel message in that song is what caused the baby John to leap for joy in Elizabeth's womb.
Other pastors say "Poppycock. The Magnificat is recorded after Elizabeth told about her joy and her baby's joy at Mary's arrival." They say Mary sang the Magnificat after the incidents connected with Mary's arrival at Zachariah and Elizabeth's home.
Interestingly enough, the story from Luke 3 shows unequivocally that Luke does tell a story and then go back and fill in some details. The reading for the Baptism of Our Lord tells about John the Baptist's ministry and preaching and that he was shut up in prison by Herod. And then Luke goes back and tells about Jesus baptism ... which happened before John was thrown into prison.
Other pastors say "Poppycock. The Magnificat is recorded after Elizabeth told about her joy and her baby's joy at Mary's arrival." They say Mary sang the Magnificat after the incidents connected with Mary's arrival at Zachariah and Elizabeth's home.
Interestingly enough, the story from Luke 3 shows unequivocally that Luke does tell a story and then go back and fill in some details. The reading for the Baptism of Our Lord tells about John the Baptist's ministry and preaching and that he was shut up in prison by Herod. And then Luke goes back and tells about Jesus baptism ... which happened before John was thrown into prison.
Today's Laugh
A man was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.
He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'NIL.' White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity and The Blessed Emptiness.
The man turned to a white-robed observer beside him and asked, "Is Nothing Sacred?"
He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'NIL.' White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity and The Blessed Emptiness.
The man turned to a white-robed observer beside him and asked, "Is Nothing Sacred?"
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Today's Laugh
Top Ten Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you are just about to file for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
And first and foremost:
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you are just about to file for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
And first and foremost:
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Mexican Brown Rice Casserole
This is from my sister's sister-in-law. We tried it yesterday, liked it, and made notes of what we want to tweak next time we make it. It meets the requirements for the "ideal recipe": inexpensive, healthy, tasty enough to look forward to a few times a month, easy to prepare, and made from whole food ingredients that are standard pantry items here.
Cook
1 ½ cups brown rice
3 cups water
While rice is cooking,
thaw 10-oz box of frozen spinach,
and squeeze or drain to remove excess moisture.
Combine the cooked rice with
1 ½ cups salsa
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp garlic powder
In another bowl, combine
1 quart (or 2 15-oz cans) of refried beans
16-oz bag of frozen corn (preferably thawed)
1 finely chopped onion
4-oz can diced green chili peppers
1 Tbsp chili powder
Layer in the greased pan:
- half the rice mixture
- bean & corn mixture
- spinach
- 1/2 cup grated cheddar.
- the rest of the rice mixture.
Bake at 375° for about 25 minutes.
Add another 1/2 cup grated cheddar.
Bake 5 more minutes.
Top with plenty of chopped fresh cilantro (optional).
Cook
1 ½ cups brown rice
3 cups water
While rice is cooking,
thaw 10-oz box of frozen spinach,
and squeeze or drain to remove excess moisture.
Combine the cooked rice with
1 ½ cups salsa
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp garlic powder
In another bowl, combine
1 quart (or 2 15-oz cans) of refried beans
16-oz bag of frozen corn (preferably thawed)
1 finely chopped onion
4-oz can diced green chili peppers
1 Tbsp chili powder
Layer in the greased pan:
- half the rice mixture
- bean & corn mixture
- spinach
- 1/2 cup grated cheddar.
- the rest of the rice mixture.
Bake at 375° for about 25 minutes.
Add another 1/2 cup grated cheddar.
Bake 5 more minutes.
Top with plenty of chopped fresh cilantro (optional).
Today's Laugh
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute;
set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
from Miss Drosendahl, via Miss Rhein's Facebook page
set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
from Miss Drosendahl, via Miss Rhein's Facebook page
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
More Regulations for Homeschoolers
An excerpt from an article in the Fort Wayne newspaper today:
We say we value individuality, yet we refuse to acknowledge this in education. Even worse, we have loads of evidence demonstrating that it’s often the misfits, the bad test-takers, the restless, etc., who often end up making valuable contributions to the world. Yet we have faith in regulations even when they stifle these individuals.
Home schooling in Indiana is an alternative that frees families from this over-regulation and creates the flexibility needed for individuals to truly learn. This is why home schooling works, so it’s completely illogical to propose that families need to preserve the right to home school by taking away the very essence of its effectiveness.
The author also says that increasing regulations would only be interfering with one alternative out there for families who desperately need more flexibility
HT: Jane
We say we value individuality, yet we refuse to acknowledge this in education. Even worse, we have loads of evidence demonstrating that it’s often the misfits, the bad test-takers, the restless, etc., who often end up making valuable contributions to the world. Yet we have faith in regulations even when they stifle these individuals.
Home schooling in Indiana is an alternative that frees families from this over-regulation and creates the flexibility needed for individuals to truly learn. This is why home schooling works, so it’s completely illogical to propose that families need to preserve the right to home school by taking away the very essence of its effectiveness.
The author also says that increasing regulations would only be interfering with one alternative out there for families who desperately need more flexibility
HT: Jane
Do You Like Your Teacher?
Once upon a time, when we told people we homeschooled, the question was, "Is that legal?" Some years passed, and the question became "What about socialization?" More years passed, and the common response tended toward, "Oh, I know somebody who does that!" We've been to a lot more than our fair share of doctors in the last month or so, and the doctors and nurses have been responding with something that they think is an accepting response. Instead of asking questions, or pointing out (in an "affirming" way -- LOL) that we are not the only weirdos on the planet who do this, they will ask a kid, "So, do you like your teacher?" or "Does your teacher work you really hard?" or "What do you think of your classmates?"
I know they mean no harm; they're trying to be encouraging.
When a kid looks at me helplessly, not knowing how to respond to such a query, I remind the person that our kids don't go to school. In the last year or so, I have been told many times, "Oh, yes, they do. They go to school at HOME. That's still going to school!"
Uh.
No.
It's not.
Well, in the last year, what we do is indeed looking a lot more like "going to school." But even with that, my kids don't "go to school." Not at home. Not anywhere. They learn. But even the most schoolish stuff we do bears only a little resemblance to "going to school."
Sometimes I want to correct the nurse or whomever. I want them to understand that homeschooling doesn't have to look like what happens in a classroom. I want them to understand that kids can learn in so many different ways!! I want them to understand that their preconceived notions of school & learning & education are just one tiny segment of myriads of possibilities in learning.
But sometimes I just smile and nod and let them keep their faulty ideas. When I try to explain, it is too often all in vain. So we just let them think our kids "go to school" at home.
I know they mean no harm; they're trying to be encouraging.
When a kid looks at me helplessly, not knowing how to respond to such a query, I remind the person that our kids don't go to school. In the last year or so, I have been told many times, "Oh, yes, they do. They go to school at HOME. That's still going to school!"
Uh.
No.
It's not.
Well, in the last year, what we do is indeed looking a lot more like "going to school." But even with that, my kids don't "go to school." Not at home. Not anywhere. They learn. But even the most schoolish stuff we do bears only a little resemblance to "going to school."
Sometimes I want to correct the nurse or whomever. I want them to understand that homeschooling doesn't have to look like what happens in a classroom. I want them to understand that kids can learn in so many different ways!! I want them to understand that their preconceived notions of school & learning & education are just one tiny segment of myriads of possibilities in learning.
But sometimes I just smile and nod and let them keep their faulty ideas. When I try to explain, it is too often all in vain. So we just let them think our kids "go to school" at home.
Today's Laugh
One lovely evening, the detective Sherlock Holmes and his trusty friend Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After having dinner and drinking a few glasses of wine, they became tired and went to sleep. A couple hours passed and Sherlock Holmes awoke, and shortly thereafter woke Dr. Watson as well. He said, "Watson, look up, and tell me what you see."
Dr. Watson replied, "Well, sir, I see millions of stars in the sky."
Sherlock Holmes asked, "And what does that tell you?"
Dr. Watson paused for a moment and said, "Well, astronomically it tells me that there are billions of stars and possibly millions of galaxies in the universe. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Horalogically I can deduce that it is approximately quarter past three in the morning. Theologically it symbolizes that God is magnificent and that we humans are small and insignificant in the universe. And meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
To which Sherlock Holmes replied, "No, stupid! Someone has stolen our tent!"
Dr. Watson replied, "Well, sir, I see millions of stars in the sky."
Sherlock Holmes asked, "And what does that tell you?"
Dr. Watson paused for a moment and said, "Well, astronomically it tells me that there are billions of stars and possibly millions of galaxies in the universe. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Horalogically I can deduce that it is approximately quarter past three in the morning. Theologically it symbolizes that God is magnificent and that we humans are small and insignificant in the universe. And meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
To which Sherlock Holmes replied, "No, stupid! Someone has stolen our tent!"
Monday, January 11, 2010
Today's Laugh
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.
Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.
Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!"
The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady. Which way was it headed?"
Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.
Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!"
The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady. Which way was it headed?"
Bullies
I recently picked up some kids' books at the library on bullies. Well, dealing with bullies. Not how to bully! They weren't too bad. Maggie thought they were boring, but I thought there was some helpful stuff in there to think about.
For example, how do we tell the difference between good-natured kidding and mean, passive-aggressive kidding? People can sometimes be downright mean and then cover it up with "Can't you take a joke?" The political correctness out there in the world drives me nuts; it's like nobody can laugh and joke around anymore. So I don't want to go overboard in "not being able to take a joke." But sometimes you just know that the joke was intended to hurt and not to be fun.
A quote from one of the books was particularly concise and insightful, especially in light of a question from Bible class last week. The mom in the story was trying to explain to the daughter that she needed to let the teacher know what was going on, but the daughter didn't want to be a tattle-tale.
Tattling is when you're trying to get someone in trouble. Reporting is when you're trying to help someone in trouble.
It may be the perpetrator you're helping or the victim. And of course we're always willing to put the best construction on our own motivations as to whether we're actually helping or trying to ensure that somebody gets his just deserts. But still, this line does help clarify things for those of us who were emphatically taught that tattling is bad-bad-bad.
For example, how do we tell the difference between good-natured kidding and mean, passive-aggressive kidding? People can sometimes be downright mean and then cover it up with "Can't you take a joke?" The political correctness out there in the world drives me nuts; it's like nobody can laugh and joke around anymore. So I don't want to go overboard in "not being able to take a joke." But sometimes you just know that the joke was intended to hurt and not to be fun.
A quote from one of the books was particularly concise and insightful, especially in light of a question from Bible class last week. The mom in the story was trying to explain to the daughter that she needed to let the teacher know what was going on, but the daughter didn't want to be a tattle-tale.
Tattling is when you're trying to get someone in trouble. Reporting is when you're trying to help someone in trouble.
It may be the perpetrator you're helping or the victim. And of course we're always willing to put the best construction on our own motivations as to whether we're actually helping or trying to ensure that somebody gets his just deserts. But still, this line does help clarify things for those of us who were emphatically taught that tattling is bad-bad-bad.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Making Merry
We were back on the story of Joseph again this Sunday morning. Pastor was talking about why Benjamin (Joseph's full-brother) was given five times as much dinner as his half-brothers (end of Genesis 43). Turns out that the brothers hadn't bumped off Benjamin many years ago, after they'd gotten rid of Joseph. Turns out that they had brought Benjamin along on the trip as requested. Turns out that it's looking like they might actually be becoming sorry for what they'd done to Joseph so many years previous. So Benjamin gets a plateful that isn't fair; he gets treated better than the others. And did the brothers resent that Benjamin was treated differently? No. They drank and were merry.
Remember the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15)? When he returned home, the father hosted a feast. He wanted to make merry for his son who was dead was now alive. How do we know the older brother was angry? How do we know that he believed in his own merits and not in the gracious love of his father? How do we know he held grudges? Because he refused to join the party and make merry and rejoice in his brother's good fortune.
And here we have the brothers who sold Joseph, who hated him, who wanted him dead -- all because they had resented the grace bestowed on him -- and they are no longer begrudging a brother the gifts he gets that they don't. Instead, they rejoice and make merry.
Remember the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15)? When he returned home, the father hosted a feast. He wanted to make merry for his son who was dead was now alive. How do we know the older brother was angry? How do we know that he believed in his own merits and not in the gracious love of his father? How do we know he held grudges? Because he refused to join the party and make merry and rejoice in his brother's good fortune.
And here we have the brothers who sold Joseph, who hated him, who wanted him dead -- all because they had resented the grace bestowed on him -- and they are no longer begrudging a brother the gifts he gets that they don't. Instead, they rejoice and make merry.
Sunshine
Finally, somebody writing about the need to get our bodies out into the sunshine, without sunscreen!
I thought it was particularly interesting that kids can store up enough vitamin D during summer's sunny days to get them through winter, but adults cannot. (Kinda makes me think of Frederick.) Also interesting that even people with cancers (including melanomas) can be helped by sunshine.
I thought it was particularly interesting that kids can store up enough vitamin D during summer's sunny days to get them through winter, but adults cannot. (Kinda makes me think of Frederick.) Also interesting that even people with cancers (including melanomas) can be helped by sunshine.
Today's Laugh
The man got in a fight with his wife last night. He admits that it was totally his fault. When she called from the kitchen sink to find out what was on the TV, he answered, "Dust." Things didn't go too well after that.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Is It Tattling?
Last Sunday in Bible class, we were starting the story of Joseph (in Genesis). Pastor pointed out that it was not "tattling" when Joseph reported to his father that the brothers were being irresponsible in their shepherding. Joseph goes to the authorities as he ought to do, rather than trying to deal with it himself and usurp his father's authority.
Story proceeds. Joseph is sold into slavery. Joseph is put in charge of Potiphar's estate. Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph. Potiphar's wife makes a fake claim that Joseph raped her. Joseph does not report what happened; he covers her sin.
I was sitting next to Grace and Kyle. Grace asked why the two incidents were different. Why was it not okay for Joseph to "go to the authorities" about the false charges? Pastor explained, but I didn't understand. Neither did Grace. So after class, she asked again.
Part of Pastor's answer was that Joseph's brothers were within the Church, and Potiphar's wife was not. Those within the Church need to be called to repentance when they sin; they need to be restored. Those outside the Church have nothing to be called back to; perhaps she needed to be won by grace and mercy.
Another aspect of the answer was "What was to be gained by going to the authorities?" When Joseph told his father about his brothers' irresponsibility, it was in hopes of bringing them to repentance (and not just for sloughing off, but for their unbelief and impenitence). When Joseph told his dad, it certainly was not a self-serving action; it just got him in more trouble with the brothers and sold into slavery. What if Joseph had told Potiphar what really happened that day? It would not have been to rescue Potiphar's wife, but "telling" would have been entirely self-serving as Joseph tried to save his own hide. Joseph kept on looking like Jesus as he/He continued to act in ways that benefited the neighbor even when it was detrimental to him/Himself.
Story proceeds. Joseph is sold into slavery. Joseph is put in charge of Potiphar's estate. Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph. Potiphar's wife makes a fake claim that Joseph raped her. Joseph does not report what happened; he covers her sin.
I was sitting next to Grace and Kyle. Grace asked why the two incidents were different. Why was it not okay for Joseph to "go to the authorities" about the false charges? Pastor explained, but I didn't understand. Neither did Grace. So after class, she asked again.
Part of Pastor's answer was that Joseph's brothers were within the Church, and Potiphar's wife was not. Those within the Church need to be called to repentance when they sin; they need to be restored. Those outside the Church have nothing to be called back to; perhaps she needed to be won by grace and mercy.
Another aspect of the answer was "What was to be gained by going to the authorities?" When Joseph told his father about his brothers' irresponsibility, it was in hopes of bringing them to repentance (and not just for sloughing off, but for their unbelief and impenitence). When Joseph told his dad, it certainly was not a self-serving action; it just got him in more trouble with the brothers and sold into slavery. What if Joseph had told Potiphar what really happened that day? It would not have been to rescue Potiphar's wife, but "telling" would have been entirely self-serving as Joseph tried to save his own hide. Joseph kept on looking like Jesus as he/He continued to act in ways that benefited the neighbor even when it was detrimental to him/Himself.
Why Is "Old" Younger Now?
It seems that people aren't as old as they used to be. Most of that is due, I'm sure, to the fact that I'm older, and 70 isn't as far away now as it was when I was 10 (when 40 seemed positively ancient). But when you look at movies or old photos, it looks like people really are "holding their youth" more than they used to. Even those who don't get face-lifts and work out at the gym.
The doctor called yesterday. My x-rays came back showing nothing that could be causing the foot pain I've been experiencing. So off to the podiatrist with me. Our family doctor suspects neuroma (a swelling and inflammation of nerves) which can be treated with anti-inflammatories, injections, or even surgery.
But the thing is, it can be corrected. What used to happen when people started limping from pain? There wasn't a surgery to fix it. We didn't have knee replacement surgeries. We didn't have dialysis machines. We didn't have meds for diabetes and depression. People with heart problems had to take it easy; there were no bypass operations. We didn't have chiropractors to straighten an aching back. If you couldn't hear or couldn't see, you ended up being slowly shut off from communication; but hearing aids, reading glasses, and cataract surgery can remedy that.
Y'know, when you begin to think about what modern medicine has done to eliminate (or reduce) pain and slowness and inability, you begin to wonder just how much "older" we would all be without those procedures and glasses and hearing aids and drugs and surgeries we take for granted.
Maybe that's why they always used to show us the stereotype of an elderly person sitting on the porch in a rocking chair. I can see where that would be all I could handle if I couldn't see well, hear well, knit, walk easily, or bend to pick up something.
The doctor called yesterday. My x-rays came back showing nothing that could be causing the foot pain I've been experiencing. So off to the podiatrist with me. Our family doctor suspects neuroma (a swelling and inflammation of nerves) which can be treated with anti-inflammatories, injections, or even surgery.
But the thing is, it can be corrected. What used to happen when people started limping from pain? There wasn't a surgery to fix it. We didn't have knee replacement surgeries. We didn't have dialysis machines. We didn't have meds for diabetes and depression. People with heart problems had to take it easy; there were no bypass operations. We didn't have chiropractors to straighten an aching back. If you couldn't hear or couldn't see, you ended up being slowly shut off from communication; but hearing aids, reading glasses, and cataract surgery can remedy that.
Y'know, when you begin to think about what modern medicine has done to eliminate (or reduce) pain and slowness and inability, you begin to wonder just how much "older" we would all be without those procedures and glasses and hearing aids and drugs and surgeries we take for granted.
Maybe that's why they always used to show us the stereotype of an elderly person sitting on the porch in a rocking chair. I can see where that would be all I could handle if I couldn't see well, hear well, knit, walk easily, or bend to pick up something.
Friday, January 08, 2010
A New Twist on Paul
This week's Learn-by-Heart verse is Romans 7:18. Maggie uses the verse as her penmanship practice. She had a few issues early in the week with how to spell perform and how the parentheses worked. But overall she did fine. And then today, she inserted a spare word:
I know that in me (that is, in my flesh)
nothing good dwells;
for to will nothing is present with me,
but how to perform what is good I do not find.
So much for the New Man. Looks like the Old Adam wins hands down.
I know that in me (that is, in my flesh)
nothing good dwells;
for to will nothing is present with me,
but how to perform what is good I do not find.
So much for the New Man. Looks like the Old Adam wins hands down.
Can't
I can carry a 10-pound bag of flour across the kitchen. Alia (my 1-yr-old granddaughter) can't.
My big strappin' son Andrew could give me a piggy-back ride across the living room. I cannot give him a piggy-back ride 2 miles to the grocery store.
There are some things it is impossible for us to do.
But then there's that fuzzy middle. Sometimes I can physically do something, or I can make time for it, but there will be repercussions. Maybe there are things I used to have the physical strength to do--no problem. I'm not to the point that the task is impossible for me. But if I tackle it, there will be pain or exhaustion that really interferes with life the next day.
So then, can I do it, if that's the case? If I can mow the lawn, but that takes all my energy and all my time, so that there's no time for cooking supper or running errands, doesn't that mean I can't?
I just don't know what to think. And it comes up in so many areas. Finances. Time management. Things that are emotionally draining. Exercise. Yard work. And more.
I think maybe the hard part about this is the prioritizing. Young folks can always work "a little faster and a little better." But there comes a point when increased efficiency just ain't possible. And then you have to admit that important stuff is going to be neglected. And that's not happy.
I guess it's all part of accepting aging. I wish they hadn't taught us so thoroughly in school that you can be Whatever You Want To Be, if only you work hard enough toward your goal.
My big strappin' son Andrew could give me a piggy-back ride across the living room. I cannot give him a piggy-back ride 2 miles to the grocery store.
There are some things it is impossible for us to do.
But then there's that fuzzy middle. Sometimes I can physically do something, or I can make time for it, but there will be repercussions. Maybe there are things I used to have the physical strength to do--no problem. I'm not to the point that the task is impossible for me. But if I tackle it, there will be pain or exhaustion that really interferes with life the next day.
So then, can I do it, if that's the case? If I can mow the lawn, but that takes all my energy and all my time, so that there's no time for cooking supper or running errands, doesn't that mean I can't?
I just don't know what to think. And it comes up in so many areas. Finances. Time management. Things that are emotionally draining. Exercise. Yard work. And more.
I think maybe the hard part about this is the prioritizing. Young folks can always work "a little faster and a little better." But there comes a point when increased efficiency just ain't possible. And then you have to admit that important stuff is going to be neglected. And that's not happy.
I guess it's all part of accepting aging. I wish they hadn't taught us so thoroughly in school that you can be Whatever You Want To Be, if only you work hard enough toward your goal.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Climate Cycles
Some say that this frigid weather is proof of global warming. Others say this frigid weather is just part of climate patterns that fluctuate over the course of decades and centuries.
No.
I used to buy that. I don't anymore.
This is what God has to say about our belief in global warming. He is mocking our idolatry. This is a weather version of "Not even God could sink the Titanic."
No.
I used to buy that. I don't anymore.
This is what God has to say about our belief in global warming. He is mocking our idolatry. This is a weather version of "Not even God could sink the Titanic."
Today's Laugh
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at Burger King.
He noticed that they ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries. One for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup, and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "Not yet. It's his turn using the teeth."
He noticed that they ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries. One for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup, and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "Not yet. It's his turn using the teeth."
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Springerle
Every year, Grandpa would make cut-out sugar cookies and springerle for Christmas. He would make huge batches and then mail a sizable box of cookies to each kid's family. When he and Grandma downsized and moved into the retirement village, the springerle roller came to us. It is in Rachel's possession. We didn't make springerle last Christmas. Paul was missing the treat/tradition and decided he'd tackle the project.
We borrowed a recipe from Barb (which was more complete than the recipe Rachel has from Grandpa). Barb also warned us not to cook them too done. They were delicious!
Paul had intended to mail some cookies to Grandpa. Oops. They were so good. And it was a single recipe instead of a double- or triple-batch. And suddenly... uh... suddenly there weren't any cookies to be sent to grandparents. Hmm. Maybe we can make a bigger batch next year and remedy that.
We borrowed a recipe from Barb (which was more complete than the recipe Rachel has from Grandpa). Barb also warned us not to cook them too done. They were delicious!
Paul had intended to mail some cookies to Grandpa. Oops. They were so good. And it was a single recipe instead of a double- or triple-batch. And suddenly... uh... suddenly there weren't any cookies to be sent to grandparents. Hmm. Maybe we can make a bigger batch next year and remedy that.
Of gifts and of unbelief
So now and then maybe I worry a little about money. Maybe.
So we received several nice-sized checks around Thanksgiving and Christmas, gifts from family and some anonymous gifts. Alongside the gratefulness for the gift itself and especially the gratefulness that there are people who love us so much as to give us the gift, I also felt kinda guilty for not trusting God to provide for us. So I spend the next few weeks living in faith and joy.
And then Gary comes home with a report about something that happened at work (something that probably would not affect him anyway) and I'm back to worrying about extreme things like losing the house and dying of starvation. Good grief. How stupid is that?
So we received several nice-sized checks around Thanksgiving and Christmas, gifts from family and some anonymous gifts. Alongside the gratefulness for the gift itself and especially the gratefulness that there are people who love us so much as to give us the gift, I also felt kinda guilty for not trusting God to provide for us. So I spend the next few weeks living in faith and joy.
And then Gary comes home with a report about something that happened at work (something that probably would not affect him anyway) and I'm back to worrying about extreme things like losing the house and dying of starvation. Good grief. How stupid is that?
Today's Laugh
A little boy returned from Sunday School with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he just had to tell his parents: "I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys! And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around."
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Trinitarian Promise to Abraham
God's promise to send a Savior through Abraham was not recorded just once.
First time.
Genesis 12.
God makes the promise, and then we hear about the trip to Egypt when Abram passed off Sarai as his sister, and Abimelech gave him all sorts of riches.
He richly and daily provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.
Second time.
Genesis 15.
God makes the promise, and then "cuts the covenant," that is, animals are killed, blood is shed, and the Lord is there with His promise.
Not with gold or silver, but with His holy, precious blood and with His innocent suffering and death.
Third time.
Genesis 17.
God makes the promise and tells Abraham to be circumcised, he and all his household. Circumcision is the Old Testament sacrament that corresponds to Baptism, whereby believers are brought into God's people.
He calls, gathers, enlightens, and sanctifies the whole Christian Church on earth.
Isn't that cool?
First time.
Genesis 12.
God makes the promise, and then we hear about the trip to Egypt when Abram passed off Sarai as his sister, and Abimelech gave him all sorts of riches.
He richly and daily provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.
Second time.
Genesis 15.
God makes the promise, and then "cuts the covenant," that is, animals are killed, blood is shed, and the Lord is there with His promise.
Not with gold or silver, but with His holy, precious blood and with His innocent suffering and death.
Third time.
Genesis 17.
God makes the promise and tells Abraham to be circumcised, he and all his household. Circumcision is the Old Testament sacrament that corresponds to Baptism, whereby believers are brought into God's people.
He calls, gathers, enlightens, and sanctifies the whole Christian Church on earth.
Isn't that cool?
Monday, January 04, 2010
Need New Glasses
Remember the cartoons or the sit-coms where they would show some ditzy old lady looking for her glasses? She would be fruitlessly searching through the house with the glasses perched on top of her head. I always thought that was so dumb. It wasn't funny. Nothing like that could ever happen in real life.
And then last week I spent half an hour searching for my glasses, only to find them on top of my head. Do you suppose I ought to buy a pair that I can actually read through, rather than having to constantly remove them and wear them like a headband?
And then last week I spent half an hour searching for my glasses, only to find them on top of my head. Do you suppose I ought to buy a pair that I can actually read through, rather than having to constantly remove them and wear them like a headband?
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Curls
As a rule, a man's a fool:
When it's hot, he wants it cool;
When it's cool, he wants it hot;
He's always wanting what is not.
I gave haircuts today. I trimmed Alia's bangs. Gary was quite overdue for a buzz-cut. Andrew was forced into a trim; we can see his eyes now. Maggie decided she wanted shorter hair. I did the Curly Girl trim, one little lock at a time.
See these perfectly round, beautiful curls on the floor?
Aren't they gorgeous? There are women who get perms and spend hours with their curlers to get curls that aren't anywhere near this beautiful.
And yet, those who have curls like this wish for a hair straightener.
"As a rule, a girl's a fool...."
When it's hot, he wants it cool;
When it's cool, he wants it hot;
He's always wanting what is not.
I gave haircuts today. I trimmed Alia's bangs. Gary was quite overdue for a buzz-cut. Andrew was forced into a trim; we can see his eyes now. Maggie decided she wanted shorter hair. I did the Curly Girl trim, one little lock at a time.
See these perfectly round, beautiful curls on the floor?
Aren't they gorgeous? There are women who get perms and spend hours with their curlers to get curls that aren't anywhere near this beautiful.And yet, those who have curls like this wish for a hair straightener.
"As a rule, a girl's a fool...."
Today's Laugh
A reporter was interviewing a 104-year-old woman. "And what do you think is
the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Saturday, January 02, 2010
The Resurrection of the Body
A huge cemetery. A blanket of snow dotted with thousands of evergreen wreaths tied with red ribbons. A group of mourners gathered around the casket and the hole in the dirt.Does sound carry better over snow and ice than it does over a carpet of green grass? Was Pastor speaking particularly loudly to ensure that he was heard over the traffic on nearby highway? Whatever it was, his voice positively boomed that frigid day at the cemetery: "Holy God, holy and mighty, holy and merciful Savior, deliver us not into the bitterness of eternal death."
And we prayed, "I believe in ... the communion of saints ... the resurrection of the body ...." Umm, this is a cemetery; this place is full of saints! As you gaze across the snowy fields, recognizing that under each wreath a person is buried, you begin to wonder what this place is going to look like on the Last Day, and you begin to think about that last chapter in Narnia.
Not everybody in the cemetery is a believer -- but a whole lot of them are. When we buried Dad, Pastor Wright prayed "by Your three-day rest in the tomb You hallowed the graves of all who believe in You." But think about it: that's not true of only that one grave. Those same words have been prayed for centuries at Christian burials. His words were true of my grandparents' and great-grandparents' graves nearby.
And when we were burying Don the other day, Pastor's words were not about Don alone. Nor about us alone. But about all those saints sleeping around us: "By Your death You destroyed death" and "in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life in Christ Jesus, who will change our lowly bodies to be like unto His glorious body ..."
God's Word certainly creates faith. God's Word certainly sustains and preserves faith. But God's Word also created and sustains stuff, the light and the land and the sea and the mountains and the trees and the critters. And it's good that His Word keep ringing out through the cemeteries, not just for the deceased's burial, not just for the mourners who are there for those few minutes, but for the sake of the creation and the brothers and sisters who are awaiting the morning of the new creation.
Friday, January 01, 2010
Today's Laugh
My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.
When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls, and ceiling, and even had a bath."
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls, and ceiling, and even had a bath."
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Today's Laugh
Middle age is having the choice of two temptations, and choosing the one which will get you home earlier.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Acts 26:16
Paul is recounting his conversion to King Herod Agrippa, Queen Bernice, and Governor Festus. Jesus told him,
I have appeared to you for this purpose,
to make you a minister and a witness
both of the things which you have seen
and of the things which I will yet reveal to you.
Gary has long posited that Saul/Paul observed much of Jesus' ministry. Paul was a Pharisee. All the other Jews knew him as one who'd spent his youth in Jerusalem, at the feet of Gamaliel (Acts 26:4). And Paul was in Jerusalem at the time of Stephen's ministry and martyrdom. Paul was busy imprisoning and murdering Christians (Acts 26:10).
Furthermore, there was no secret about what was happening with Jesus. Everybody knew about Zachariah seeing the angel in the temple, about John's birth, about the angels appearing to the shepherds, about Simeon's and Anna's proclamation of the arrival of the Messiah. During Jesus' ministry, crowds flocked to His preaching and for His miraculous healings. When He was on trial, He said they all knew what He taught; it was common public knowledge; He did nothing in secret. And the Pharisees had been spying on Jesus all along.
But even with all that common sense pointing to Paul's having been one of the Pharisees who was keeping track of Jesus, I couldn't be absolutely certain that Gary's theory was right. Then today I noticed this verse. Jesus told Paul at his conversion that He would make him a minister and a witness of the things which he had seen. We know that Paul had this mega hang-up that he didn't want to preach anything except Jesus' death and resurrection (1 Corinthians 2:2, among many others). So what was it Paul had seen that Jesus made him a witness of?
I have appeared to you for this purpose,
to make you a minister and a witness
both of the things which you have seen
and of the things which I will yet reveal to you.
Gary has long posited that Saul/Paul observed much of Jesus' ministry. Paul was a Pharisee. All the other Jews knew him as one who'd spent his youth in Jerusalem, at the feet of Gamaliel (Acts 26:4). And Paul was in Jerusalem at the time of Stephen's ministry and martyrdom. Paul was busy imprisoning and murdering Christians (Acts 26:10).
Furthermore, there was no secret about what was happening with Jesus. Everybody knew about Zachariah seeing the angel in the temple, about John's birth, about the angels appearing to the shepherds, about Simeon's and Anna's proclamation of the arrival of the Messiah. During Jesus' ministry, crowds flocked to His preaching and for His miraculous healings. When He was on trial, He said they all knew what He taught; it was common public knowledge; He did nothing in secret. And the Pharisees had been spying on Jesus all along.
But even with all that common sense pointing to Paul's having been one of the Pharisees who was keeping track of Jesus, I couldn't be absolutely certain that Gary's theory was right. Then today I noticed this verse. Jesus told Paul at his conversion that He would make him a minister and a witness of the things which he had seen. We know that Paul had this mega hang-up that he didn't want to preach anything except Jesus' death and resurrection (1 Corinthians 2:2, among many others). So what was it Paul had seen that Jesus made him a witness of?
Today's Laugh
Courtroom testimony in a drunk-driving case:
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
God Grew Tired of Us
We watched a documentary this weekend on the lost boys of Sudan.
1. One of the producers of the film was National Geographic Society. Nevertheless, it still came out (briefly) in the film that this was a war of the Muslims against the Christians, that this was genocide. There were also references in the movie to the faith of the refugees, such as their confusion at America's celebration of Christmas because, in their country, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ.
2. Boy, do we live a cushy life here.
3. The guys being interviewed often spoke of missing their parents. Again and again there were comments about "not having parents to take care of us." These were men in their 20s. They were capable of getting around town, holding down a job, cooking their own food, etc. Yet they recognized something important about having parents, something that I think isn't recognized in America.
4. Similar to a recognition of the importance of parents, the guys recognized the importance of family. It was hard for them to leave the refugee camp and their companions, even though they knew they would have more temporal goods. When they arrived in America, they lived with only a few other refugees in an apartment. Their jobs took them away from the apartment, so that they could go for days without seeing their "family." And that was unsettling to them. It didn't seem right that earning money should separate them from loved ones so much of the time.
1. One of the producers of the film was National Geographic Society. Nevertheless, it still came out (briefly) in the film that this was a war of the Muslims against the Christians, that this was genocide. There were also references in the movie to the faith of the refugees, such as their confusion at America's celebration of Christmas because, in their country, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ.
2. Boy, do we live a cushy life here.
3. The guys being interviewed often spoke of missing their parents. Again and again there were comments about "not having parents to take care of us." These were men in their 20s. They were capable of getting around town, holding down a job, cooking their own food, etc. Yet they recognized something important about having parents, something that I think isn't recognized in America.
4. Similar to a recognition of the importance of parents, the guys recognized the importance of family. It was hard for them to leave the refugee camp and their companions, even though they knew they would have more temporal goods. When they arrived in America, they lived with only a few other refugees in an apartment. Their jobs took them away from the apartment, so that they could go for days without seeing their "family." And that was unsettling to them. It didn't seem right that earning money should separate them from loved ones so much of the time.
Today's Laugh
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
Monday, December 28, 2009
Feasting
When I was 28, I realized I could no longer eat pizza after 9:00 at night without some seriously weird dreams. When I was in my mid-40s, I realized that the delight of a frozen custard on my tastebuds wasn't enough to compensate for the effect the sugar-high had on an empty stomach. And now I'm realizing that the feasting that goes with Christmas is more than my body can bear, and it must be reigned in and controlled.
Hey, all you young folks. Enjoy it while you can!
Hey, all you young folks. Enjoy it while you can!
Today's Laugh
"What kind of work do you do?" a woman passenger inquired of the man traveling in her train compartment.
"I'm a Naval surgeon," he replies.
"My word!" spluttered the woman, "How you doctors specialize these days."
"I'm a Naval surgeon," he replies.
"My word!" spluttered the woman, "How you doctors specialize these days."
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Shut In
As Pastor was reviewing Old Testament stories today, he was pointing out how God is always the one doing the doing in the stories. One example he gave is that God was the engineer for the ark, God was the one who brought the animals to Noah, and God was the one who shut Noah and his family into the ark. Noah didn't shut himself in.
Jesus didn't shut himself into the tomb either. He was put in, and the door was closed. Hmm.
Jesus didn't shut himself into the tomb either. He was put in, and the door was closed. Hmm.
Christmas
Do you know how many stanzas of All My Heart This Night Rejoices they cut out of LSB??? (The answer is 60%. Do you think I will reconcile myself to that before I die?) I came home on Christmas Eve and played piano and sang the rest of it -- several times. Gary got out the violin and joined in on melody. Cool, eh?
We shall call this year "The Christmas of the Hair-Straightening"
Birthday girl, with straight hair, wearing her new Illini shirt. With straighter hair, we were calling her "Katie" all day long. It was freaky! I thought they looked alike, but, boy oh boy, straighten Mag's hair and then they really look alike!
Concentrating on the Qwirkle game --
Christmas ribbons nabbed off a present from Grandma made Rachel's hair look festive!
Now, why would you touch the filthy poker for the fireplace?
Oh, that face is more handsome than the last snapshot.
Caught a lot of nice-looking shots of Philip this week.
Gary's known at work as the guy with the interesting ties. Gumby is a favorite.
Aw. Isn't that romantic? Sharing their present-opening.
Katie. Or not. Maybe Miss-Maggie-of-the-Straight-Hair
Captain Andrew-of-the-Straight-Hair. Piratical earring. And aparrot cat on his shoulder.
We shall call this year "The Christmas of the Hair-Straightening"
Birthday girl, with straight hair, wearing her new Illini shirt. With straighter hair, we were calling her "Katie" all day long. It was freaky! I thought they looked alike, but, boy oh boy, straighten Mag's hair and then they really look alike!
Concentrating on the Qwirkle game --
Christmas ribbons nabbed off a present from Grandma made Rachel's hair look festive!
Now, why would you touch the filthy poker for the fireplace?
Oh, that face is more handsome than the last snapshot.
Caught a lot of nice-looking shots of Philip this week.
Gary's known at work as the guy with the interesting ties. Gumby is a favorite.
Aw. Isn't that romantic? Sharing their present-opening.
Katie. Or not. Maybe Miss-Maggie-of-the-Straight-Hair
Captain Andrew-of-the-Straight-Hair. Piratical earring. And a
Today's Laugh
Chris and his wife had just finished tucking their young ones into bed one evening when they heard crying coming from the children's room. Rushing in, they found Tommy crying hysterically.
He had accidentally swallowed a nickel and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind. Trying to calm him, Chris palmed a nickel that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to remove it from Tommy's ear. Tommy, naturally, was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, Dad!"
He had accidentally swallowed a nickel and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind. Trying to calm him, Chris palmed a nickel that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to remove it from Tommy's ear. Tommy, naturally, was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, Dad!"
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