Saturday, October 04, 2014


A movie about dying of cancer. A professor who is alone, no family, no friends. She agrees to aggressive treatment, for the sake of research, with only a small hope for recovery. An exacting professor who teaches John Donne's poetry. A woman who has little to hang onto other than "Death, Be Not Proud" and her own toughness.

A woman who eventually must face the prospect of her own death. A woman whose only comfort is the gospel (if you can call it that) found in The Runaway Bunny.

So very different from Stephen's death.  A man surrounded by family, friends, and pastors.  A room filled with hymns, prayers, more hymns, liturgy, psalms, and a few more hymns.  An image on the wall of Jesus dying on the cross to bear the wages of Steve's sins.  A statue of St Michael defeating the dragon-of-old.

Unlike the tough professor in Wit, Pastor Wiest knew long before that he was weak.  But His Jesus is strong.  As he became weaker at the end, he was given more and more and more of Jesus' word of forgiveness and mercy.  "For when I am weak, then am I strong."

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Library Sorting

When Lora was eliminating Stuff from her house before moving overseas, she talked about her books, and how wrenching it is to get rid of books.  So many of us look at bookshelves to get an idea of WHO somebody is. Without our books to identify us, people can't get to know us by perusing our bookshelves.

I'm sorting through Pastor's books, making sure they're properly grouped and arranged after his study was moved into a new room.  On the one hand, it's fascinating.  Oh oh oh -- so many books just begging to be borrowed!  On the other hand, the work feels like trespassing, as if I'm butting into somebody's brain.

Of course, as Katie pointed out, her bookshelves don't necessarily reveal things about her; there are other people in her home.  And yet, "Goodnight Moon" does reveal something about who Katie is, even if the book is not her top choice in literature for her own personal reading.   Same for Pastor: he has books on his shelves about cults and heresy and other errors, alongside the books that refute error and books that are just fabuloso all on their own. 

Paid job;
resting my body while sorting at church;
resting my body while doing schoolwork with Mag;
resting my body while goofing off on the computer;
not spending as much time cleaning, cooking, blogging, or gardening as I think I "should." So many many chores that are screaming for attention, and I keep scolding myself into trrrrying to lollygag and watch TV and read more.  Healing takes time.