Saturday, May 15, 2010

Hot Peppers

What is it that makes male-type persons feel more manly when they consume more Scoville heat units than the next guy???

Whatever makes a man take pride in his courage and toughness when he's got tears running down his cheeks from the heat of a Habanero?

I just don't get it.

Call Day

The majority of my readers probably already know about last month's Call Day. It's when the graduating seminarians to receive their placements. There weren't as many congregations requesting pastors as there were men available. More than one-third of the graduates at Fort Wayne are still wondering where they'll go. Or if they'll go.

Had my son not changed his mind about attending seminary in the final months before college graduation, this would have been his Call Day.

I understand all too well what Pr Curtis says about the reality behind the so-called clergy shortage, and his exhortation for men to have a back-up plan for employment if they desire the office of pastor.

I was surprised to see that Gary's former congregation received a convertible vicar. (That's a man who does his vicarage, kind of an internship-year, and then stays in the same place and becomes their pastor.) For decades the congregation has struggled to pay a pastor. Two and a half years ago, the situation grew much worse. Yet here they are, asking for a full-time vicar/pastor again. They received word on Call Day that, yes, they'll be sent a full-time man.

Matt Harrison preached at the seminary shortly after Call Day. His sermon was excellent. The one thing that made me a little uneasy was the seeming message that these uncalled seminarians will receive calls eventually. I kept wondering about those who don't. Or who do, but end up losing their congregations within a year or two. The Luther quote which Pr Harrison posted that week makes a lovely companion to the sermon.

Today's Laugh

Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.

Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.

Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can’t believe it!

Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish.

Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris. You might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, but you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.

Chris: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?

Friday, May 14, 2010

"100" -- Spring Wildflowers

Continuing from two summers ago...
85. No flowers on the MAY APPLES. I'm not sure if they haven't bloomed yet or if they're done. It's time that there should be flowers.

86. WILD GERANIUM looks so sweet and girly. (Don't get confused by all those mayapple leaves and other plants surrounding the geranium.)

87. TRILLIUM has three petals, three sepals, three leaves, and blooms about the time of the Feast of the Holy Trinity. Looks like some critter finds the points of the trillium blossoms to be very tasty; few of the flowers had their full triangular shape but looked more like dogwood petals.

Today's Laugh

If I wanted to drive a manager up the wall, I would make him responsible for the success of an organization and give him no authority. I would provide him with unclear goals, not commonly agreed upon within the organization. I would ask him to provide a service of an ill-defined nature, applying a body of knowledge (which few people understand), and staff his organization with only volunteers in addition to himself. I would expect him to work 10-12 hours per day and have his work evaluated by a committee of 300-500. I would call him a minister and make him accountable to God.

via Dr Scaer

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Senate Race

Woo hoo and yee haw and yippety yay!!!

Somebody is running for senate! I've been on the anybody-but-Feingold bandwagon ever since he ran the first time against Kasten in 1992. It may have been hold-your-nose-and-vote. But so far, at least Feingold's opponents have been a little more in favor of smaller government and a little less in favor of abortion rights.

This year it looks like there might actually be a good candidate running. Look up Ron Johnson from Oskhosh. See what you think. I haven't found out much yet, but what I've seen gives me hope!

Forty Days Later

Ascension. Jesus ascends the throne. He goes to where His Father is. 40 days after the high holy day of Easter.

The Presentation. The Lord suddenly appears in His temple (Malachi 3). Jesus is presented to the Lord in His holy place. 40 days after the high holy day of Christmas.

I think that's cool.

Ascension Collect

Our hymn of the week is "A Hymn of Glory Let Us Sing." I've been missing terribly the stanza left out of LSB, verse 5 in TLH:

Oh, grant us thitherward to tend
and with unwearied hearts ascend
unto Thy kingdom's throne, where Thou,
as is our faith, art seated now. Alleluia!

Through the week we have been praying --as normal-- Sunday's collect. Last night and this morning we switched to the Ascension collect:

Almighty God, as Your only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, has ascended into the heavens, grant that we also in heart & mind ascend and with Him there continually dwell.

Hey, wait a minute!

Those two are the same thing! (If you doubt whether they're the same, take a peek at the TLH version of the collect.)

No wonder I've been missing that stanza of the hymn.

Today's Laugh

A Sunday School teacher was telling his class the story of the Prodigal Son. Wishing to emphasize the resentful attitude of the elder brother, he laid stress on this part of the parable. After describing the rejoicing of the household over the return of the wayward son, Dexter spoke of one who, in the midst of the festivities, failed to share in the jubilant spirit of the occasion. "Can anybody in the class," he asked, "tell me who this was?" One of the children had been listening sympathetically to the story. She waved her hand in the air. "I know!" she said beamingly. "It was the fatted calf."

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Today's Laugh

Five cannibals were appointed as engineers in a defense company. During the welcoming ceremony, the boss said, "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat. So please don't trouble any of the other employees." The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later the boss returned and said, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with all of you. However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?" The cannibals all shook their heads no.

After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which of you idiots ate the janitor?" A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader replied, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Supervisors, and Project Managers, and no one noticed anything. Then YOU had to go and eat the janitor!"

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Noise in the Chimney

When we started hearing noise in the chimney today, I went to investigate. Andrew asked what I was going to do when I opened the flue and a bird or bat came flying out at me. Uh, ... scream of course.

Funny. Andrew thought screaming was a less-than-ideal response.

He got the old rabbit cage. It was just big enough to cover almost the whole opening of the fireplace. So the cage blocked the fireplace opening. The flue was opened. The bird made a break for it and landed in the trap. Rosie thought this was a highly interesting development in place of her regular nap.

Since Maggie and I are studying birds this spring, I wanted to get a good up-close look at our specimen. But when the bird appeared too panicked to worry about Rosie, we took the cage outside and removed the cover. Bye-bye birdie!

Today's Laugh

In a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first-class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first-class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."

Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first-class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."

He went to the first-class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?"

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally persuaded her to move from her seat. He said, "I told her the first-class section wasn't going to New York."

Monday, May 10, 2010

You Must Be Rich

Once upon a long time ago, one of the young moms at church commented about the pastors being rich. The evidence? They both had stay-at-home wives taking care of three babies/preschoolers each. No matter that we were doing without a lot of things that other people had. No matter that we cooked from scratch and drove old cars and didn't pay the day-care provider to watch the kids while we didn't work the jobs we didn't have.

Stay-at-home moms run into this attitude frequently. Usually it's no big deal, because what does it matter what other people think?

But last week I ran into a problem. We ended up with a car being repaired by someone other than our regular mechanic. I had a rough idea of what it was going to cost. When he called last week to let me know that the brakes needed work too, he told me the car would be ready Monday. So did I work first shift or second? He wanted to know what time to phone and let me know about picking up the car. I said he could call any time; I don't have a job; I stay home with the kids. Ah. Hmm.

I was not surprised when he called today and he ran into some problems that took more time and were harder to repair than he'd anticipated. So the price was a little higher. Still under the estimate he gave me on Friday. But quite a bit more than I'd been led to believe two weeks ago. Now, he may be telling the absolute truth. But my gut suspects that maybe I'm one of those idle rich folks who can afford to pay more to the working man.

As I was pondering this and my mind is reeling over what outsiders might think, I realized that homeschooling my kids has saved between $900,000 and $1,000,000 for the taxpayers. Also, I ponder jobs and how huge a salary I'm going to have to earn so as not to end up further in the hole by working than I am by staying home and being frugal. But to the neighbors, to the people around who look on unknowingly, I'm at home during the day. I must be eating bonbons and watching the boob tube while my filthy-rich husband rakes in the big bucks.

Today's Laugh

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!!"

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Today's Laugh

A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said "Acts 2:38," and proceeded to quote scripture.

The burglar froze in place and didn't move. The woman called 911. The police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood.

"What did you say to him that kept him from moving?" they asked the woman.

She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture.

The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car. "Why did the woman's quoting scripture scare you so much?" they asked.

"Scripture?" said the burglar, "I thought she said she had an ax and two 38's!"