Saturday, January 30, 2010

Unconditional Love

Sometimes I HATE unconditional love. Sometimes, you don't know whether someone befriends you because they're being kind and are [sigh...] tolerating you, or whether they genuinely like you. Maybe this is terrible, but sometimes I want to know that my friends like me for me and not just because they're supposed to.

I've been wondering about this for a while, but seeing The Blind Side the other day renewed the questions. There were things about the mom in the story that I definitely recognized in myself. But she was confident. She did what needed to be done; she told people what she thought; she made things happen. I'm always scared of imposing; I try to watch myself so that I don't accidentally run over people. But that makes me scared to interfere with get involved in other people's lives -- surely they already have friends and responsibilities and commitments enough.

Jesus delights in sacrificing Himself for us, taking on our sin, loving the unlovable ones. But humans? They're sinners. Sinful people sometimes resent impositions. So how does a person gauge whether friendships are being welcomed or tolerated?


  1. Y'know, it crosses my mind, now that I've posted this, that maybe it was Gary's last few months at Trinity and again at Triune that made me skeptical of whether friends are genuine. Maybe being stabbed in the back at both places has affected me. It's not fun to find out that people who purported to be your friends are now saying they don't care if you lose your income and get kicked out of your home. It certainly makes you question your ability to discern whether people hate you.

  2. I am off to see "The Blindside" tonight...I cried seeing the preview so I know there will be tears tonight! As to friends...I just like you. I don't know what it is that makes us like someone...we do have a few different ways that we look at things, and still, in what matters most in life, we are the same...and maybe that is why I just love and treasure you so much. I'm looking forward to our big "date night" with our husbands laughing and to speaking about heartfelt things with friends.

  3. You KNOW we are not going to have enough time! The guys are going to want to go home and go to bed, and we're going to want to keep jabbering away...

    Enjoy the movie. It is SO good!

  4. I think I'm going to have to see the movie.
    And I'm sure that you know that our whole family--not just me--loves you. :) But I know what you mean. I often have those doubts.

  5. Jane, have you seen it yet? We just saw it tonight and loved it. It actually painted a positive picture of southern, rich, Christian Republicans! Rather refreshing from Hollywood! And some really lovely scenes and LOL moments. I wish I were more like that mom--she had no fear. Like Susan said, she was confident. I constantly grapple with insecurity and second-guessing myself and worrying about what people think. Lee Ann just did what needed to be done. Interestingly, though, her propensity to act without always thinking things through was both a strength and a pitfall for her. I guess that's often true--that our strengths can also be our weaknesses.