Babies Are Nice

Conversation recently among a group of [unchurched] 20-somethings:
"I don't think I'd ever want a family.  It would be fun to come home once a week and make dinner and spend time with my family.  But every day?!"
"Maybe it would be okay to have kids.  If they'd arrive at age 4 or 5, already ready for school, and able to feed themselves and dress themselves and use the toilet."
"Babies look like little aliens."

A few days later, Bible class was on the topic of marriage, and how the world views marriage, and society's changing definitions of marriage, and how the Church has pretty much taken-for-granted the joys and the normalness of married life and faithfulness, instead of extolling it. 

Some of the ideas "out there" about marriage, relationships, children, are so so unbiblical (and new-fangled) that it boggles my mind.  I don't even know how to begin addressing the complete mess of someone's life when they value self-indulgence, pride themselves in hanging onto grudges, and have no experience with the simple joys and stability that come with plain old everyday family life.  They know they're unhappy.  But the idea of living a life of sacrifice for others?  Not on the radar.

So I asked during Bible class.  "How do we respond?  How do we talk to people about these things when we're not even speaking the same language, when we're coming from vastly different perspectives?"

And Pastor said, "Just live your life.  Just be who you are as a wife and mother."

What?!

That's all?

But the more I think about it,
the more I hear conversations out there in the big wide world,
the more I realize that "just being who I am" IS pretty different.

Harry Potter

Is it really that hard to understand that reading a story where the setting includes magic and witches is not the same thing as practicing witchcraft?

Is it really that hard to understand that dressing up as a robot, a crayon, or a dragon, and distributing (or receiving) candy, is not the same thing as Satan worship?

Who's Hiding in the Closet?

So a gay basketball player comes out of the closet and is lauded for it.  In the wake of the announcement, a sports analyst mentions that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin as is any sexual activity outside of marriage.   Oh my goodness -- the horrors of what he said!  The station apologizes.  The sports analyst is forced to apologize.

And then the news release about how the government is looking into enforcing anti-proselytizing regulations, thus forbidding soldiers from telling others about their faith, even to the point of being able to court-martial them.

Wow.

Mr Toad's Character

What a difference 100 years can make!

Background:  Maggie and I weren't sure what new book to start after our last read-aloud concluded.  We'd run across a reference to The Wind in the Willows in her math book [yes, I did say math book, odd as that may sound to those of you who don't know Fred] and I realized that Maggie had not heard TWitW last time the family had read it.  [Amazing problem that homeschool mothers have!  Some children have the audacity to not be born yet when you did something that all the kids were supposed to experience for "school."] So anyway, we grabbed a copy from the library and started reading.  I enjoyed the book well enough when we read it 20 years ago, but I'm finding it positively delightful this time!!  Maggie appears to be finding it acceptable. 

In The Wind in the Willows, Mr Toad likes new things.  He likes nice clothes.  He flits from one new curiosity/passion to another.  When he fell in love with boating, he ditched his previous passions.  When he decided to go traveling in a gypsy carriage, he was done-done-done with boating.  When he discovered a motor car, he promptly dropped his interest in traveling in his gypsy carriage. 

My impression is that, when the book was written, this Affinity For The New was seen as a character flaw.  Most of the other animals were more content with their place in life and with the simple pleasures of their surroundings.  Not Mr Toad.  The other critters bore with Mr Toad's idiosyncrasies.  He was curious about new things and always wanted to find out more about whatever-was-novel-today.

Today, in our society, in our economy, it's all flip-flopped.  Contentment is not considered good.  It's often considered hokey.  It's often considered unpatriotic (as contentment won't boost consumerism).  And it's definitely considered "dull."  Desire-for-the-new is held up as a cherished characteristic. 

We even run political campaigns with the promise of CHANGE.

My, how values have ... uh ... changed.

I Didn't Cry

Gary's installation is scheduled for the early service on the day of the Goods and Services Auction.  That's an annual fund raiser for our congregation's school, and because of the time-frame for the auction, early service is VERY heavily attended that day, and late service has abnormally light attendance.  This makes the planning ideal: many people will be able to attend the installation.

It also means the "celebration dinner" will be just part of the party atmosphere at the auction.  Our first couple of years we didn't attend the auction.  One year we volunteered to work but didn't eat dinner at the country club.  Another year we were invited as guests of another family.  It sure is fun to be there!

So this morning, I'm filling out the reservation for our table and hauling out my checkbook to pay for our tickets.  Someone came along and saw what I was up to.  "NO," she said.  She told me I couldn't do that.  She told me it would be nonsense for us to pay for tickets for "our own party."    I don't quite know what happened.  I'm not sure who's paying for our dinners.  But we aren't.

I remember discussions about the turkey-dinner fund raiser at our former congregation.  I remember being told we had to attend, that it was outlandish when someone suggested tickets be given to the pastor's family, and that this whole thing occurred when the congregation owed the pastor nearly two thousand dollars in back pay and mileage reimbursements.

Toto, we're not in Kansas any more.
Is this heaven?


(I know that this congregation is full of sinners.  Sometimes we bump into each other and grate on each other.  But forgiveness reigns.  And somehow, that actually makes a difference in people's lives and the entire atmosphere around the place.  This is a weird weird congregation, full of laughs and love and kindness.  Once in a while I have to blink back tears.)

Is Profanity Sinful?

For some unknown reason, out of the blue, one of my co-workers begged me (out of the bosses' earshot) to say a naughty word on Tuesday.  "Please?  I never heard you say anything bad.  Please, just one bad word?" 

"No," I answered, confused.

"Please?  I've been having a really bad day, and that would just cheer up my whole week.  For me?  Please!"

"Why?" 

"I just want to hear you say a naughty word."

I was lost as to where this came from, and so was my partner that day.  We thought our co-worker was being quite silly.  Eventually, she suggested, "Hell?  Could you say 'hell' for me?" 

Now, I don't know about you, but to me, hell is not a swear word.  Think about it: the word is a theological term and is even in the Creed.  Confused that she would ask for that word, I asked, "Hell?"  She giggled maniacally and then asked for "another" swear word. 

When she finally went back to her area, my partner-for-the-day suggested to me, "But 'hell' isn't really a swear word, is it?" 

"No.  It's a place." 

"Yeah, that's kinda what I thought."

So I have been thinking about this interchange.  I knew she would pester again for a swear word.  And sure enough, she has. 



I really don't know what I think about whether profanity is sinful.  I do know that cursing and swearing is sinful: the second commandment tells me that.  But the profanity that is merely "coarse language"?  I've heard discussions about why it is sinful and about why it's not sinful.  I've heard discussions about whether "gee whiz" and "golly" and "darn" are sinful, and other arguments as to why they're not sinful.  And honestly, I just don't care.   Those conversations always seem to end up steeped in legalism or antinomianism.

But here's what I noticed.  My co-worker does think profanity is sinful.  She may think that she doesn't; after all, she is not opposed to cursing, swearing, and profanity coming out of her mouth occasionally.  But there is some drive in her to get me to say something "naughty."  Isn't that a tacit admission that she thinks it would be sinful of me to toss out some of those four-letter words?  And here's what I'm wondering: If even the world, in all her revelry and self-indulgence, considers profanity sinful, would that mean it is?

Sojourners

As we were studying 1 Peter this morning, we came upon the verse (2:11) where Peter refers to us as sojourners and pilgrims.

This week, Pastor has been stressing that point that we are children of God.

So, what do all sojourning children say? What's the perennial refrain from the back seat of the car while you're on a trip? "Are we there yet? How much longer?"

How 'bout that?
It fits, doesn't it?
"Come, Lord Jesus."

Youth Group

So the kids and Pastor are reading & discussing A Little Book of Joy. They meet twice a month on Friday afternoons. This week, they finished their book discussion earlier than normal. So what to do then? They sang Advent hymns; everybody picked a favorite. This is youth group.

I love my church.

Madison

We watched a movie tonight that would not have drawn our interest were we not APT fans. It's supposed to be a story of hope.

I'm not sure I saw any hope.

I loved watching Jimmy and Brian and Sarah. I loved seeing the local stuff: the scenery, the beer labels, the houses, the restaurants.

There was a lot of rhetoric about politics and the war. As we watched, I wasn't sure whether the show was trying to promote those viewpoints or giving us cause to shake our heads and say "tsk tsk." There was also a lot of foul language. But these things would have been forgivable if the story had a great message in the end.

But it didn't.

The poor chap in the movie had been a war correspondent and came home jaded and hopeless. He couldn't get rid of the horrid memories. He no longer believed that we can Change The World and make a difference. I didn't expect a Christian message of hope. But I did expect some secular version of hope. And for the life of me, I don't know what it was. The reviews talk about how Michael (the main character) finds hope. Through the movie he drinks a lot. And then he spends Christmas with a friend, including babysitting the friend's daughter on the afternoon of the 24th. The friend is positive and upbeat and has hope that things are generally good and will work out. But that in itself doesn't appear to give hope to Michael; it just seems to show him that not everything everywhere is thoroughly despairing.

Gary said it was the most depressing thing he'd seen in a long time. Afterwards he hunted up a funny tv show to watch.



Right now, I am thinking about what Pastor says about the Christian life being full of joy -- even when we do not feel it. Right now, I am thinking about the joy of family, and satisfaction with a job well done, and comfort in not taking on responsibilities that are not yours. Right now, I'm noticing the lack of dialogue in this film (all the scenes that are so so quiet, filled with pensive waiting and thinking) and contrasting that quietness with the voice of God's Word that brings life. Paul said that if Christ be not raised from the dead, we are of all men the most pitiable. But when you see what passes for "hope" out there in the big wide world, maybe not. Even if Christianity were a hoax, it still would have a lot to offer. Do you remember what Puddleglum said to the Witch when she was trying to convince them that there was no Narnia, no world except the underground one that lay in her grasp?

Suppose ... suppose we have only dreamed and made up these things like sun, sky, stars, and moon, and Aslan himself. In that case, it seems to me that the made-up things are a good deal better than the real ones. And if this black pit of a kingdom is the best you can make, then it's a poor world. And we four can make a dream world to lick your real one hollow.

Agreeable to Change

Last week was a family reunion. Katie and Nathan and Alia traveled from Texas to attend. Occasionally (but rarely) Alia was a bit out of sorts. For the most part, though, it was a grand time for her. Plenty of people around to entertain her, to take her to the playground, to take her to the pool, to take her for a walk, to play chase or to rough-house. Sometimes it was hard for her to get to sleep in a strange bed. Sometimes she was over-tired and didn't want to come in from playing to nap. But overall, she adjusted really well.

Especially when you consider that a 1-yr-old doesn't really understand the concept of "vacation." She left her home. She left her kitties. She left her toys. She was dragged out of bed at an unreasonably early hour, locked up in a car seat for the whole day, didn't know hardly any of the people she was thrown together with for the week, ... and it was okay! Not only okay, but good!

Now, how many of us would react that way?

We want to know what's going on. We want to know what's coming next. We're often discombobulated when we lose the stability of what's around us.

I would see Alia prancing around confidently and recall the movie Life Is Beautiful. Granted, Alia had fun stuff like swimming and slides and swings and cousins. But you know how kids can be about their routine. It struck me that our attitude was "Isn't this great?!?" And so Alia enjoyed the adventure even though it would have been easy enough to a kid to be cranky in the situation. She had her parents with her; her needs were met; what she had [to all appearances] lost (such as toys and pets) was not important enough to deter her from the things she gained.



If only I could trust my heavenly Father when big changes (and even losses) come. If only I could, like Alia, just go with whatever comes rollin' along through life and accept it with joy.

Is It Tattling?

Last Sunday in Bible class, we were starting the story of Joseph (in Genesis). Pastor pointed out that it was not "tattling" when Joseph reported to his father that the brothers were being irresponsible in their shepherding. Joseph goes to the authorities as he ought to do, rather than trying to deal with it himself and usurp his father's authority.

Story proceeds. Joseph is sold into slavery. Joseph is put in charge of Potiphar's estate. Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph. Potiphar's wife makes a fake claim that Joseph raped her. Joseph does not report what happened; he covers her sin.

I was sitting next to Grace and Kyle. Grace asked why the two incidents were different. Why was it not okay for Joseph to "go to the authorities" about the false charges? Pastor explained, but I didn't understand. Neither did Grace. So after class, she asked again.

Part of Pastor's answer was that Joseph's brothers were within the Church, and Potiphar's wife was not. Those within the Church need to be called to repentance when they sin; they need to be restored. Those outside the Church have nothing to be called back to; perhaps she needed to be won by grace and mercy.

Another aspect of the answer was "What was to be gained by going to the authorities?" When Joseph told his father about his brothers' irresponsibility, it was in hopes of bringing them to repentance (and not just for sloughing off, but for their unbelief and impenitence). When Joseph told his dad, it certainly was not a self-serving action; it just got him in more trouble with the brothers and sold into slavery. What if Joseph had told Potiphar what really happened that day? It would not have been to rescue Potiphar's wife, but "telling" would have been entirely self-serving as Joseph tried to save his own hide. Joseph kept on looking like Jesus as he/He continued to act in ways that benefited the neighbor even when it was detrimental to him/Himself.

Meal Prayers

The fourth petition:
Give us this day our daily bread.
God certainly gives daily bread to everyone without our prayer, even to all evil people, but we pray in this petition that God would lead us to realize this and to receive our daily bread with thanksgiving.

God would lead us to realize this.
and
Receive our daily bread with thanksgiving.

Turn a few pages further back in the catechism, to the section on daily prayers. What is the prayer before meals? Both the psalm verse (and You give them their food at the proper time) and the little prayer (which we receive from Your bountiful goodness) are words which lead us to "realize this."

And the prayer after the meal? Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.

We pray that "God would lead us to realize this" and "God would lead us to receive our daily bread with thanksgiving" and so it is HIS words we use in our meal-time prayers.



I was so tickled and so surprised when I noticed that Luther's words under the Fourth Petition were in sync with the meal prayers. I don't know why I was surprised. Now it seems so obvious. (But I still think it's really cool!)


This discovery is kinda sorta like my shock (and delight) to discover once-upon-a-time that the Close of the Commandments has "fear, love, and trust" in it just like the meaning of the First Commandment does. Maybe I'm just really weird that these things interest me so much.

Strength of Faith (2)

During Gary's first two years of seminary, Pastor Baker came to the sem one morning a week for Bible class with sem wives. It was great. During Gary's fourth year, someone decided that this should be discontinued and we should get with the modern way of doing things and have small-group Bible class. So the wives were bunched together by neighborhood and time availability, and we were told to pick something to study together. Our group chose What Happens When Women Pray. It's not good.

The book is full of works-righteousness and the theology of glory. I brought up points for discussion; most of the group disagreed with me. The real killer was when we got to the part of the book that said God refused to hear your prayers until you had figured out each and every sin you had ever committed, and asked for forgiveness for that specific sin. (The illogic is mind-boggling. If you can't remember all your sins, then you should pray for enlightenment to know your sin so that you might confess it so that you could get right with God so that He would listen to your prayers.) It was at this point that several of the women decided I was no Christian. They determined to pray for my conversion and enlightenment. (They also decided to go to the administration and tell them that Gary was not fit for a call, considering he had a pagan wife like me, but that's another part of the story entirely.)

I remember being offended that they considered me to be an unbeliever.

Fast-forward several years. I got involved with some homeschool groups. At two different points, women in the homeschool groups decided I was not a true believer. They prayed for my conversion too. By now, I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was thankful that they were praying for me. They were praying that I would believe in Jesus, that I would be His disciple, that I would live the life of a true believer. Now, who can complain about that? I pray those same things for myself! Hooray that they're joining me in those prayers! And yet ... there was still something that bothered me about it. It wasn't what they were saying about my sin and unbelief, though. The terrible thing was what they were saying about Jesus. HE baptized me. HE claimed me. HE speaks His words of love and mercy to me. And when somebody implies that I don't have His love, when somebody implies that my baptism is nothing, that's just plain wrong.

Basically, it got down to the different views of faith. If faith is my act of believing, then of course it's questionable as to its strength and durability. But if faith is about the objective work of the Son of God for me and the whole world (and that I cling to what He has done), then raising questions about someone's faith could actually be turning him from Christ to navel-gazing.

Great Faith

Jesus said to the Canaanite woman, "Great is your faith" (Matthew 15:28).

From 1 Corinthians 10: "But God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape that you may be able to bear it."

Do you ever think that God just doesn't have a very good grasp of what you are able to bear? Surely He is overestimating what I can bear! (And yet, even as I question His wisdom in this area, it is nevertheless true that He provides the absolution, which is the way of escape.)

But back a few weeks ago, Pastor said something in the sermon that I had not considered before. How did Jesus know the greatness of the Canaanite woman's faith? It wasn't because He is omniscient and could thus "know" something by observing the woman's faith, something we mere mortals cannot observe. He knew her faith because He created it, He implanted it in her, He sustained it. That's why He knew what it was. So it's not a matter of measuring how big my faith is (with corresponding pats on the backs or "woe-is-me"). It's not about how much bigger I can get my faith to be. But it's entirely what Jesus has done and given and provided.

I believe that I cannot ... believe in Jesus Christ my Lord or come to Him. But the Holy Ghost has called me ... and kept me in the true faith!

Lazy?

Once upon a time, several of us were sick. The sickest we'd been in a long time. We were resting, sitting on the couch for a whole week, aching, feverish, popping a couple of tylenol, and then two hours later some aspirin, and two hours later some more tylenol. A friend told us what we needed to do was get outside and work. She said that her family had been sick recently and they didn't have time to sit around and recuperate because there was work to do. So they did it. She said they "sweated it out" and got much better for having worked through the illness rather than resting.

It makes some sense to me, theoretically, because sweating does eliminate a lot of toxins from the body. But boy oh boy, when you're so sick you can hardly get to the kitchen for a drink of juice, the idea of going outside to shovel gobs of snow sounds ludicrous.


When a person gets older and the body shows more and more signs of the corruption of sin (weakness, lack of endurance, less flexibility, longer time to heal, etc), how does a person know when her "laziness" is just an unwillingness to work and when it's lack of ability? I think that I've been lazy recently, and I've been trying to gather my oomph to overcome it. I've been giving myself speeches. I've been trying to work harder, move faster, be organized and efficient. And I'm not managing it.

Do I need to try harder? Or would it be better to recognize that, as I'm trying to learn new things, it's going to simply take some time? And that my body cannot DO the things it could do when I was in my twenties?

You know what? Ten, fifteen, and twenty years ago, I was asking these questions about my children ... and their readiness for learning. In the kids, I could recognize that sometimes I could spend a HUGE amount of effort trying to teach them something before they were ready, or I could wait until they were physically and mentally capable of something, and then the educational task would be a breeze. Loads of homeschool moms face this: should we bash our heads against the wall trying to teach cursive or phonics or long division or how to use the potty (hopefully not in that order!) or do we admit that the child is simply not capable of this right now?
And now I'm wondering the same thing about myself -- but on the downhill slope.

A Little Cleavage

A word to Christian women --
When you look in the mirror on Sunday morning and see a little cleavage showing at the neckline of your dress or blouse, think what that would look like from above. Looking down your shirt from the top looks a lot different from what it looks like straight-on.

When your pastor (and maybe the elders) are serving communion, and you are kneeling, and they are feeding you (and thus having to look down in the direction of your mouth), the pastor is seeing a whole lot more cleavage than he sees when he shakes your hand after service -- a whole lot more cleavage than he wants to see.

Pastors don't usually want to say anything about this around their parishioners. They don't want to admit they're "looking"; it sounds pretty scandalous. But what else can they do in this situation?? A godly man can do a lot of "gaze averting." At the beach, at the store, at the ball park, or when a Victoria's Secret commercial comes on the tv, a man can discreetly look away. But when he is at the altar, serving God and serving his parishioners, putting Christ's body and blood into your mouth, he cannot look in a different direction.

Have pity on your pastor. Wear higher necklines on Sunday.

Dying Congregations

We're always being told that "dying congregations" are a very bad thing. Congregations should be ALIVE, not dying, right?

But sometimes the demographics don't hardly allow for anything but a dying congregation. After all, people get old and ... die. In some rural areas, virtually every kid grows up and moves to the city where colleges and employment opportunities are available. In some rural areas, agricultural zoning laws really don't allow for newcomers to move in -- at least not in any numbers. And that's really not a bad thing either: some of the farmland has to be reserved for farming instead of for those new and massive subdivisions and outlying suburbs.

So what happens to congregations in those kinds of areas? The young people move away. New people don't arrive. Old people die. Of course, there are some folks who will drive 30 or 40 or 70 minutes to get to a church where there's liturgy and faithful preaching. But most people either can't or won't drive that far. Seems pretty clear to me that there are congregations that will die.

But those old folks who are living happily in the boonies still need a pastor. The hard thing, then, is what becomes of the pastor who ends up with no income. (Also, this is a compelling factor in why rural congregations in particular should be loathe to sell off their parsonages!)

Adult Bible Class

Samuel was in Bible class again today. He's 4 or 5. The huge majority of people in class are over 70, but there are now several of us who are merely middle-aged. Except Samuel. He's a kid.

He was sitting across the room from me. When we started to pray, for some reason I noticed his face. He was looking at Pastor, watching intently. Then he glanced around the room, looking at all these grown-ups, singing the versicles, praying the psalm and the catechism, singing the hymn.

I know that kids garner some benefit from Sunday School. They are educated in God's Word, and that will not return void. But kids get something very valuable from being in class with the adults too. They probably miss a lot of what's being taught. But they do catch some of it -- probably a lot more than we realize. The one invaluable lesson, though, is what Samuel saw today: THIS is what grown-ups do. Praying together, reciting the catechism together, studying God's word together. This is what grown-ups do. Learning about the Bible isn't some childish activity that occurs in Sunday School and is outgrown. This is not something you graduate from. It's what sustains life all your life long.

I love seeing kids in the adult Bible class.