Sometimes it's an election for governor, senator, or President. Sometimes it's synodical politics. Whether in the church or in the world, we console ourselves after the loss of an election by singing Psalm 146: "Trust not in princes: they are but mortal. Earthborn they are and soon decay" (TLH 26).
What happens when your guy wins?
In amidst the rejoicing and the thanksgiving, we still ought to be singing, "Trust not in princes.... Trust ye in Christ, our God and Lord. Alleluia!"
I'm sure plenty of my girlfriends are reading this and shaking their heads and thinking, "There goes Susan again. Why does she have to keep saying this?"
I like Matt Harrison. I hope he will win the election for synodical president. But I don't expect him to save the synod. I don't expect him to "clean house." He is not the panacea for the LCMS. (Or, if you're from a different viewpoint, neither is he a threat to the LCMS.)
There is a reason some of us love Matt Harrison. When he talks, he talks about Jesus. He is a man who has been desperately in need of grace and who finds his joy and his life in the mercy of his Savior. It shows! This is a man who trusts in the Gospel with all his heart.
Thing is, by nature we trust in the law. Some are hoping for the balance of "power" to shift in the Missouri Synod. Some folks want things fixed. And the sooner the better.
But Matt Harrison is a man who knows his only authority --his only "power"-- as a pastor or as a synodical executive, is in the Word of God.
Sometimes we sinners don't like God's way of doing things. He hung out with tax collectors like Matthew. And demon-possessed prostitutes like Mary Magdalene. And lepers like Simon. And even pharisees like Nicodemus. And He loved that rich young man (John Mark) who came to Him pompous about his good works.
Sometimes we sinners don't like God's way of doing things. We want the law preached ... to THEM. To those guys who botched things up. To those guys who hurt us. To those folks out there. But God wants to preach the law to us. To me. He wants me to see my sin. He wants you to grieve over your sin. He wants to kill us so that He might restore us to life.
If Matt Harrison speaks with God's authority, he will speak the law to kill, not to "instruct" or "improve," and not just to "the other guy." And he will continue to bubble over with the good news of the forgiveness of sins. That's why we love him so much. But he may bring forgiveness and mercy to those that we think are unworthy of it, to those we think should not receive it.
This synod has not been "walking together" for decades. The divisions began before I was born. The first split happened when I was a kid. But the tensions continued to grow. The paths continued to diverge. The election of a president, or the saving of a college or seminary or a radio show, or the ouster of certain pastors --regardless of which Side you're on-- cannot be a quick fix. A year of marriage counseling cannot solve all the problems that have developed over twenty or thirty or forty years of marital difficulty. Things take time. Hearts seldom change overnight.
Do we want reconciliation? Or do we want control of synod's institutions, and punishment for those who disagree with us? The law (and the by-laws, and punishment, and threats) can "change things" much faster than can the gospel; anybody who's parented a two-year-old knows that. But that's Left-Hand Kingdom stuff. In the Church, the only kind of change that matters is the change that comes from the Gospel. We love Matt Harrison because he loves the gospel. If he is elected president, let us pray that we have patience as he slowly and mercifully does the work he has been given to do. Let us pray that our zeal for the law is trumped by our zeal for the gospel. Regardless of who wins the election, let us pray that we trust not in politics for our synod's help, but
penitent sinners for mercy crying,
pardon and peace from Him obtain.
Ever the wants of the poor supplying,
their faithful God He doth remain.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Today's Laugh
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by Professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms -- so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the University of Virginia to party with some friends.
They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare. They couldn't fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus.
Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be an easy final". They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?
They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare. They couldn't fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus.
Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be an easy final". They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?
Monday, July 12, 2010
Today's Laugh
The boss was trying to be inspirational and motivational. He posted a sign which read, "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." I couldn't resist adding a note: "And now you know why too."
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Today's Laugh
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your ocean-side condo. Over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."
"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"
"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Forgiveness
Just wondering.
If it's "really hard to forgive someone" who has harmed you, betrayed you, sinned against you, ...
would that mean your forgiveness wasn't really forgiveness?
If it's "really hard to forgive someone" who has harmed you, betrayed you, sinned against you, ...
would that mean your forgiveness wasn't really forgiveness?
So Tired
Who ever thought caulking could be so exhausting? After six tubes of driveway caulk in two days, my hands are sore. I have dropped things because my grip is just too tired to hang on.
Granted, I was out late at a super-exciting ball game last night. But I'm more tired than I can account for. I think these repairs on the driveway require more physical energy than I have to give! I washed the driveway this morning and was all ready to head to the hardware store for asphalt and for another gallon of liquid sealant, when I thought to check the weather. 40% chance of thunderstorms this afternoon and again this evening. And 50% chance of rain overnight on Sunday. Do I risk it?
Gary said that if I fail to water the garden this afternoon, anticipating rain, the rain will not come. Murphy's law, y'know. Then I could do more driveway patching and not have the repairs rained upon. Sounds like a good plan in theory, but I don't trust it.
So I'm looking at the to-do list since I'm not working on the driveway. Everything on the list takes more strength than I've got right now. House cleaning? Nah, too tired. Moving furniture? Nope. Shampooing a couch? Nope. More weeding in the garden. Nope. How about running the lawn mower before the rain comes? Yuck -- but it's still on my list to consider. Cooking for company tomorrow? Not too tiring, but it would require heat -- inside the house. Hmmmm.
Goofing off on the computer? Now, I do have energy for that.
(What's really disappointing is that I'll have to wash the driveway again once I think the weather forecast looks like we'll have a good 24 hours with no chance of rain. Just the thought of hauling the hose from the garden, across the deck, through the garage, and out to the front again makes me want to collapse.)
Granted, I was out late at a super-exciting ball game last night. But I'm more tired than I can account for. I think these repairs on the driveway require more physical energy than I have to give! I washed the driveway this morning and was all ready to head to the hardware store for asphalt and for another gallon of liquid sealant, when I thought to check the weather. 40% chance of thunderstorms this afternoon and again this evening. And 50% chance of rain overnight on Sunday. Do I risk it?
Gary said that if I fail to water the garden this afternoon, anticipating rain, the rain will not come. Murphy's law, y'know. Then I could do more driveway patching and not have the repairs rained upon. Sounds like a good plan in theory, but I don't trust it.
So I'm looking at the to-do list since I'm not working on the driveway. Everything on the list takes more strength than I've got right now. House cleaning? Nah, too tired. Moving furniture? Nope. Shampooing a couch? Nope. More weeding in the garden. Nope. How about running the lawn mower before the rain comes? Yuck -- but it's still on my list to consider. Cooking for company tomorrow? Not too tiring, but it would require heat -- inside the house. Hmmmm.
Goofing off on the computer? Now, I do have energy for that.
(What's really disappointing is that I'll have to wash the driveway again once I think the weather forecast looks like we'll have a good 24 hours with no chance of rain. Just the thought of hauling the hose from the garden, across the deck, through the garage, and out to the front again makes me want to collapse.)
Today's Laugh
One of my friends works in the customer-service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people.
The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by "Lucille." He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.
"She don't never leave no number, so I can't call her back," he said.
After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number.
"She leaves her name," was the reply.
After establishing that the customer had a numeric only pager, the light bulb came on.
"How does she spell her name?" the service rep asked.
"L-O-W C-E-L-L"
Another problem solved.
The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by "Lucille." He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.
"She don't never leave no number, so I can't call her back," he said.
After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number.
"She leaves her name," was the reply.
After establishing that the customer had a numeric only pager, the light bulb came on.
"How does she spell her name?" the service rep asked.
"L-O-W C-E-L-L"
Another problem solved.
Friday, July 09, 2010
The Motivation for Daily Activities
Bread rising.
Library not open yet, so time to kill before running errands.
Hmmm... how about a little more weeding in the vegetable garden?
Errands include picking up a book for homeschooling and buying more caulk for the driveway.
Suddenly I think to myself about some of my Christian friends who aspire to be "a real Proverbs 31 woman." An outsider might think my list of tasks today were nobly motivated as I strive to live the Proverbs-31 lifestyle.
Ha! Those folks don't know a frugal-minded cheapskate when they see one. A woman who makes bread and gardens does so to keep from spending so much money at the grocery store. A woman who repairs her own driveway does so because she can't afford to pay the businessman. Not only can this woman not afford tuition for her kids' school, but she doesn't even want to pay for schoolbook and thus borrows as much as possible from the library.
Things are not always what they appear to be.
I wonder what other miserly activities I will engage in today? :-)
Library not open yet, so time to kill before running errands.
Hmmm... how about a little more weeding in the vegetable garden?
Errands include picking up a book for homeschooling and buying more caulk for the driveway.
Suddenly I think to myself about some of my Christian friends who aspire to be "a real Proverbs 31 woman." An outsider might think my list of tasks today were nobly motivated as I strive to live the Proverbs-31 lifestyle.
Ha! Those folks don't know a frugal-minded cheapskate when they see one. A woman who makes bread and gardens does so to keep from spending so much money at the grocery store. A woman who repairs her own driveway does so because she can't afford to pay the businessman. Not only can this woman not afford tuition for her kids' school, but she doesn't even want to pay for schoolbook and thus borrows as much as possible from the library.
Things are not always what they appear to be.
I wonder what other miserly activities I will engage in today? :-)
Lift Up Your Eyes
Usually when we read in the Bible about someone "lifting up his eyes," we just think it's about somebody looking at something. "Yoohoo! Looky over there. See that?"
Jesus tells Nicodemus that the Son of Man must be lifted up -- at His crucifixion (John 3).
Isaiah sees the Lord lifted up and the angels crying, "Holy, holy, holy" (Isaiah 6).
In the movie Passion, we notice time and again how the people at the foot of the cross look up to see the Man hanging there. Really, there is no way to "fix our eyes upon Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith," without looking up.
When we sit in the pews at church, we must look up to see the crucifix. When we kneel in the confessional, our eyes look up to see the cross hanging over our pastor's heart.
Psalm 121 --
I will lift up my eyes to the hills.
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord
who made heaven and earth.
Jesus was crucified on a hill ...
Jesus tells Nicodemus that the Son of Man must be lifted up -- at His crucifixion (John 3).
Isaiah sees the Lord lifted up and the angels crying, "Holy, holy, holy" (Isaiah 6).
In the movie Passion, we notice time and again how the people at the foot of the cross look up to see the Man hanging there. Really, there is no way to "fix our eyes upon Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith," without looking up.
When we sit in the pews at church, we must look up to see the crucifix. When we kneel in the confessional, our eyes look up to see the cross hanging over our pastor's heart.
Psalm 121 --
I will lift up my eyes to the hills.
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord
who made heaven and earth.
Jesus was crucified on a hill ...
whence cometh my help.
Today's Laugh
A new government 10-year survey costing $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
A Few Pics
My mom and Noelle (my sister's baby).
Gary's folks with Paul, Philip, Maggie, and Andrew.
Brenda and me at the CCA booth during one of the coffee breaks at symposium.Maggie and Andrew today -- pictures taken simply because I was trying to figure out what was wrong with the camera and if I could make it capture any image. Somewhere. Please. I hope. Don't be broken, dear camera. Anyway, here are the kids as of today.
Not a Pastry Bag (but almost)
Running the caulk gun along those little wiggly cracks near the edge of the driveway made me realize that cake-decorating may be a useful training-tool for household maintenance.
I learned today that I much prefer the "pourable driveway crack filler" to the asphalt caulk. The pourable filler is much easier to use and doesn't leave lumpy lines. Of course, the pourable stuff is much thinner and needs to be applied twice (or thrice -- or more) unless the crack is teeny. But it's easier, cheaper, and gives better results.
I wonder when I will learn that a whole day outside, in the garden, or patching driveway cracks, will result in sunburned shoulders and back? I know it, but I still haven't learned it. Aloe to the rescue!
I learned today that I much prefer the "pourable driveway crack filler" to the asphalt caulk. The pourable filler is much easier to use and doesn't leave lumpy lines. Of course, the pourable stuff is much thinner and needs to be applied twice (or thrice -- or more) unless the crack is teeny. But it's easier, cheaper, and gives better results.
I wonder when I will learn that a whole day outside, in the garden, or patching driveway cracks, will result in sunburned shoulders and back? I know it, but I still haven't learned it. Aloe to the rescue!
Violinists
Some of the good violinists at church (of which there are many) were amused interested that Gary has a violin and can even play a bit. Gary took his violin along to Goltermanns' on Monday. He and Sarah played hymns together for a while. Loved it! 
Today's Laugh
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's meat?"
The North Korean says, "What's an opinion?"
The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me?? What's excuse me?"
A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's meat?"
The North Korean says, "What's an opinion?"
The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me?? What's excuse me?"
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Galatians 6:1
Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass,
you who are spiritual
restore such a one
in a spirit of gentleness,
considering yourself
lest you also be tempted.
When I was growing up, our Sunday school teachers always explained this verse like this: When your friends start to smoke or do drugs or sleep around, you should try to set them back on the path of good works and morality. But be careful, because it would really be easy for them to suck you into their immoral lifestyle.
But maybe this verse is about much more than stopping people from doing some naughty things.
IF all sin flows from unbelief (and it does),
and IF faith cannot help but bear good fruit (and it does),
and IF people are prone to pharisaism (and because of our sinful nature, all are),
then maybe this verse is calling us to flee to Jesus' mercy when we see our brother in sin. We need to speak in such a way that his faith be turned to Christ and not to anything in himself. (This, of course, does not mean that we avoid use of the Law. The Law is necessary that we might be stripped of all reliance on ourselves and trust only in Jesus' goodness.) Our temptation when "restoring a brother overtaken in a trespass" is that he should be as good as we are -- that he should try to be as holy as we are.
But when we "consider ourselves" we find nothing in us but sin and death from which we can in no wise set ourselves free. And yet Christ is merciful to us and has made us a new creation. And so when we help our struggling brother, we help him, not to spiff up his life, but to find his sole sufficiency in the Savior who loves both him and us. That keeps us from being tempted. And it is the only salvation which can restore the brother.
you who are spiritual
restore such a one
in a spirit of gentleness,
considering yourself
lest you also be tempted.
When I was growing up, our Sunday school teachers always explained this verse like this: When your friends start to smoke or do drugs or sleep around, you should try to set them back on the path of good works and morality. But be careful, because it would really be easy for them to suck you into their immoral lifestyle.
But maybe this verse is about much more than stopping people from doing some naughty things.
IF all sin flows from unbelief (and it does),
and IF faith cannot help but bear good fruit (and it does),
and IF people are prone to pharisaism (and because of our sinful nature, all are),
then maybe this verse is calling us to flee to Jesus' mercy when we see our brother in sin. We need to speak in such a way that his faith be turned to Christ and not to anything in himself. (This, of course, does not mean that we avoid use of the Law. The Law is necessary that we might be stripped of all reliance on ourselves and trust only in Jesus' goodness.) Our temptation when "restoring a brother overtaken in a trespass" is that he should be as good as we are -- that he should try to be as holy as we are.
But when we "consider ourselves" we find nothing in us but sin and death from which we can in no wise set ourselves free. And yet Christ is merciful to us and has made us a new creation. And so when we help our struggling brother, we help him, not to spiff up his life, but to find his sole sufficiency in the Savior who loves both him and us. That keeps us from being tempted. And it is the only salvation which can restore the brother.
The Need for More Pastors
From Sunday's [three-year] Gospel reading: Jesus tells us that the harvest is plentiful and the laborers are few, and to "pray the Lord of the harvest to send faithful laborers into the harvest" (Luke 10).
But then next He tells the 70 that He sends them out as "lambs among wolves."
And I kept thinking, "No wonder we have to keep praying for more and more pastors. Because the ones that are sent keep getting eaten up!"
But then next He tells the 70 that He sends them out as "lambs among wolves."
And I kept thinking, "No wonder we have to keep praying for more and more pastors. Because the ones that are sent keep getting eaten up!"
Today's Laugh
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Holiday Weekend
A friend is in Ghana, teaching for a few weeks at the seminary there. Two of his parishioners died. So Gary drove to the south side of the metro area to preach at a funeral after work on Friday. He drove back the next morning for the committal, and stayed for the afternoon for the next funeral. Then Sunday, he preached and taught Bible class here because Pastor is on vacation. That's a lot to cram into a weekend even when you're not working a day-job.
Paul came home for the long weekend! So glad to see him! On the one hand, I wish he were getting scheduled for more hours at his part-time job so that he would've been unable to come due to a sufficiently-busy work schedule. But as long as he's short of hours, it's great that he was willing to make the drive to come home for a few days.
Maggie and I finished the sixth Betsy-Tacy book. I should've been thinking ahead. We didn't put #7 on reserve until we finished #6. Now we hold off on reading until the libraries shuffle the next volume to us.
Katie let me know that they will be moving to a new apartment in the next week or two. Not only does it appear to be quieter and better maintained, but it also has cheaper rent. That'll help. Also, Nathan's second job seems to be working out well.
Enjoyed a wonderfully relaxing afternoon on the Fourth with some friends. And enjoyed a lovely party on Monday at the home of other friends. Thankful for the good food and even better company!
Missed the fireworks altogether. The ones out in Dousman (where we watched last summer) were set off on Saturday night instead of on the Fourth. After Gary's funerals, we weren't about to drive out there at bedtime when he had to preach the next morning. By Sunday evening, we were 1) confused by the thought that the fireworks had been last night, and 2) tired and ready for bed. It initially surprised me when we heard the local fireworks booming away about 9:15. But at that point, we couldn't manage the oomph to get into the car and drive into the village.
Been watering for a friend who's out of town. She has 18 potted plants. They are beautiful. And I haven't killed anything! :-) I am overwhelmed by her commitment to making her home and yard lovely. I don't think I could spend a summer taking care of that many plants that need watering every single day. My practicality compels me to spend my gardening time on food-stuffs instead of pretties. But I can also see the value of how the pretties refresh and restore the soul.
Rosie is enjoying playing at being a huntress. I get a lot of laughs watching her stalking squirrels. She's also highly interested in the bluebird box, but our sweet, dumb cat is no match for a mama bluebird. She's actually caught a few gophers, but she doesn't eat them. Cats should eat their prey rather than leaving it to sit dead on the driveway. Blech!
The driveway needs to be sealed. I learned what needs to be done. Yesterday I began sealing some of the tiny cracks. (This driveway is SO different and smooth and uncracked, compared to the driveway we had at the parsonage.) Today we'll need to do some edging. The supplies for the sealing job cost a small fraction of the estimates we've been given by companies looking for business. And I bet I'll do a more meticulous job. But as I look at a whole week devoted to spiffing up the driveway, I wonder if by next Sunday I'll regret trying to save the $200 by doing it myself. Next on the docket will be sealing the deck; that's easier.
Paul came home for the long weekend! So glad to see him! On the one hand, I wish he were getting scheduled for more hours at his part-time job so that he would've been unable to come due to a sufficiently-busy work schedule. But as long as he's short of hours, it's great that he was willing to make the drive to come home for a few days.
Maggie and I finished the sixth Betsy-Tacy book. I should've been thinking ahead. We didn't put #7 on reserve until we finished #6. Now we hold off on reading until the libraries shuffle the next volume to us.
Katie let me know that they will be moving to a new apartment in the next week or two. Not only does it appear to be quieter and better maintained, but it also has cheaper rent. That'll help. Also, Nathan's second job seems to be working out well.
Enjoyed a wonderfully relaxing afternoon on the Fourth with some friends. And enjoyed a lovely party on Monday at the home of other friends. Thankful for the good food and even better company!
Missed the fireworks altogether. The ones out in Dousman (where we watched last summer) were set off on Saturday night instead of on the Fourth. After Gary's funerals, we weren't about to drive out there at bedtime when he had to preach the next morning. By Sunday evening, we were 1) confused by the thought that the fireworks had been last night, and 2) tired and ready for bed. It initially surprised me when we heard the local fireworks booming away about 9:15. But at that point, we couldn't manage the oomph to get into the car and drive into the village.
Been watering for a friend who's out of town. She has 18 potted plants. They are beautiful. And I haven't killed anything! :-) I am overwhelmed by her commitment to making her home and yard lovely. I don't think I could spend a summer taking care of that many plants that need watering every single day. My practicality compels me to spend my gardening time on food-stuffs instead of pretties. But I can also see the value of how the pretties refresh and restore the soul.
Rosie is enjoying playing at being a huntress. I get a lot of laughs watching her stalking squirrels. She's also highly interested in the bluebird box, but our sweet, dumb cat is no match for a mama bluebird. She's actually caught a few gophers, but she doesn't eat them. Cats should eat their prey rather than leaving it to sit dead on the driveway. Blech!
The driveway needs to be sealed. I learned what needs to be done. Yesterday I began sealing some of the tiny cracks. (This driveway is SO different and smooth and uncracked, compared to the driveway we had at the parsonage.) Today we'll need to do some edging. The supplies for the sealing job cost a small fraction of the estimates we've been given by companies looking for business. And I bet I'll do a more meticulous job. But as I look at a whole week devoted to spiffing up the driveway, I wonder if by next Sunday I'll regret trying to save the $200 by doing it myself. Next on the docket will be sealing the deck; that's easier.
Today's Laugh
On the train to a math and engineering convention, a group of math majors and a group of engineering majors sat in the same car. Each of the math majors had his/her train ticket, but it became clear that the group of engineers had only ONE ticket amongst them. The math majors started laughing and snickering.
When one of the engineers said, "Here comes the conductor," all the engineers went into the bathroom. The math majors were puzzled. The conductor came aboard and said "Tickets please" and collected tickets from all the math majors. He then went to the bathroom, knocked on the door and said "Ticket please," and the engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and left, and the engineers came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. The math majors felt really stupid.
So on the way back from the convention, the group of math majors had one ticket for the group. They started snickering at the engineers, for this time the whole group had NO tickets amongst them.
When the engineer-lookout said, "Conductor coming!," all the engineers went to one bathroom. All the math majors went to another bathroom. Just before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said "Ticket please."
When one of the engineers said, "Here comes the conductor," all the engineers went into the bathroom. The math majors were puzzled. The conductor came aboard and said "Tickets please" and collected tickets from all the math majors. He then went to the bathroom, knocked on the door and said "Ticket please," and the engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and left, and the engineers came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. The math majors felt really stupid.
So on the way back from the convention, the group of math majors had one ticket for the group. They started snickering at the engineers, for this time the whole group had NO tickets amongst them.
When the engineer-lookout said, "Conductor coming!," all the engineers went to one bathroom. All the math majors went to another bathroom. Just before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said "Ticket please."
Monday, July 05, 2010
Stevia
Overall, we eat too much sweetness, and sugar-substitutes are not the answer. The answer is to not succumb constantly to our desire for the sweet.
I ran across a jar of stevia at Trader Joe's a while back. I've been interested in trying stevia for quite a while, but the price was prohibitive. Now that it's becoming trendy, more people are growing it and selling it, and the price is no longer something that will give you a heart attack. (Now it's come down to just "very expensive".)
I've discovered a good use for stevia. I have too much craving for sweetness to eliminate all my sugar-fixes. I don't have enough money to make a full switch to sugar-substitutes that aren't harmful: honey, maple syrup, stevia. But when you're sick and are imbibing in many, many cups of hot tea, and when the illness means you really shouldn't be consuming sugar, the stevia allows you to keep "sucking down Darjeeling" without gobbling up many tablespoonfuls of dissolved sugar daily. And the stevia doesn't have the chemical taste that saccharin and aspartame do.
I should learn to drink tea and coffee without sugar.
Really, I should. (And you know my brain right now is drooling over Southern Sweet Tea.... Well, at least my mouth isn't drooling.)
I ran across a jar of stevia at Trader Joe's a while back. I've been interested in trying stevia for quite a while, but the price was prohibitive. Now that it's becoming trendy, more people are growing it and selling it, and the price is no longer something that will give you a heart attack. (Now it's come down to just "very expensive".)
I've discovered a good use for stevia. I have too much craving for sweetness to eliminate all my sugar-fixes. I don't have enough money to make a full switch to sugar-substitutes that aren't harmful: honey, maple syrup, stevia. But when you're sick and are imbibing in many, many cups of hot tea, and when the illness means you really shouldn't be consuming sugar, the stevia allows you to keep "sucking down Darjeeling" without gobbling up many tablespoonfuls of dissolved sugar daily. And the stevia doesn't have the chemical taste that saccharin and aspartame do.
I should learn to drink tea and coffee without sugar.
Really, I should. (And you know my brain right now is drooling over Southern Sweet Tea.... Well, at least my mouth isn't drooling.)
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Today's Laugh
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA. Only we see stars too!"
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA. Only we see stars too!"
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Fitting In
From Betsy in Spite of Herself by Maud Hart Lovelace. It's near the end of the book when Betsy is looking for that guy, Joe. She checks the library (the most likely place to find him) and he's not there. The librarian is telling Betsy about Joe (a teen-age orphan who needs to support himself) and why he doesn't hang out with the other kids so much.
He has to work for a living. And being barred from the usual things high school students do, the things requiring money and time, he takes refuge in books. He not only reads them, but he dreams about them. He sees himself as the heroes he admires. He is confident that he could behave as Ivanhoe did, or Marco Polo, or D'Artagnan.
He isn't a boy who pities himself. Not at all. He has to work, but he makes that an adventure. He would really like to play football or baseball after school, but he can't. He has to go to [his job]. So he just makes plans about playing them in college. It helps that, when he has a spare hour and can play, he is better than average.
His routine is quite satisfactory to him but only because he puts out of his mind the things he cannot have. And they are the boy and girl pleasures. If he let you draw him into your Crowd, he would be constantly embarrassed. He would be forced to admit that he isn't, perhaps, quite so lucky as he thinks he is. Don't you see, Betsy? Living as he does now, he doesn't mind shabby clothes. But he is a proud boy. He wouldn't like coming to call on you in shabby clothes. When you urge him to come he gets desperate. He just has to be rude. Don't you see?
Today's Laugh
The best part of procrastination, is that you are never bored, because you have all kinds of things that you should be doing.
Friday, July 02, 2010
Today's Laugh
This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail.
He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.
He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Bread Prices
Our church school has a flea market coming up. I'm thinking about getting a booth and selling some junk and some used books. But I've also thought about selling some bread. Wondering how much to charge, I figured I should take an honest look at what the ingredients cost for my bread. Last time I checked that, it was running me about 25-cents per loaf. Uh. That was a while ago.
Since then, flour and sugar prices have quadrupled. And I've started using healthier ingredients: olive oil instead of Crisco, sea salt instead of refined Morton's, flax and wheat germ and oat bran and millet as additives.
The ingredients alone (no fuel for the stove, no factoring in the cost of my time) is $1.15 per loaf for the plain boring bread. Yikes! I guess this means it would be unreasonable to charge $1 or $2 per loaf at a bake sale, eh?
This is like the sticker shock when I looked at dresses a couple of years ago. I thought a decent dress would cost $20. But no, Lands End and Penney's catalogs are selling dresses for $100.
LaLa-Land is the result of trying desperately never to buy anything. I don't KNOW what anything costs any more. And when I find out, it about blows me away.
Since then, flour and sugar prices have quadrupled. And I've started using healthier ingredients: olive oil instead of Crisco, sea salt instead of refined Morton's, flax and wheat germ and oat bran and millet as additives.
The ingredients alone (no fuel for the stove, no factoring in the cost of my time) is $1.15 per loaf for the plain boring bread. Yikes! I guess this means it would be unreasonable to charge $1 or $2 per loaf at a bake sale, eh?
This is like the sticker shock when I looked at dresses a couple of years ago. I thought a decent dress would cost $20. But no, Lands End and Penney's catalogs are selling dresses for $100.
LaLa-Land is the result of trying desperately never to buy anything. I don't KNOW what anything costs any more. And when I find out, it about blows me away.
Today's Laugh
My mother always told me to finish what I started, but she had no idea of some of the people I'd be dealing with.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Dry-Bean Primer
Once upon a long time ago, when we were signed up for WIC, each month we were to receive a couple of pounds of dry beans. I had no clue what to do with them, other than turn them into bean-bags for the kids. Shame on me. So here's a primer on what to do with dry beans, in case anyone else is intimidated by the prospect of turning a little bag of hard things into an edible dinner.
First thing to know is that you probably want to start the day before, especially if you aren't going to be home to cook during the day that you'll be eating the beans. If the beans are for Sunday lunch, you can start Friday morning, Friday night, or at the latest Saturday morning. If the beans are for Thursday supper and you're at work during the day, sort your beans on Tuesday night, and start soaking them Wednesday morning.
First thing is to sort any mudballs or rocks out of your pound of beans. When I first started using dry beans, I was looking at each individual bean. What a pain! If you're not experienced at sorting beans, try this: pour about 1/3 or 1/2 cup of dry beans onto a dinner plate, and scan them to see if there's anything icky. Usually it's hard balls of dirt. In 25 years of using dried beans, I've only found an actual pebble once or twice. Sometimes you'll find part of the seed pod or another part of the plant. Sometimes you'll see a bean that was significantly bug-gnawed. Sometimes you'll find a different kind of bean (which wouldn't be a problem unless the oddball is a bean that takes much longer to cook than the rest of the crowd). Once you've picked out anything icky from the beans on the plate, dump them into a colander or sieve, and scan another 1/2 cup of beans. When you've checked the whole bag, rinse the beans under running cold water, rubbing them a bit between your hands to wash them.
Put them in a pot or bowl. You want a 6-quart pot (or larger) for a pound of beans. Cover them with lots of cold water. I mean, you want them covered very deeply because they're going to swell to 2-3 times their size. Let the beans sit all day. Or overnight. Eight hours. Do not use the quick-soak method on the back of the bean bag. You're more likely to get mushy beans that way.
If you want to use the crockpot to cook your beans, drain them in the evening, cover them with plenty of water, and leave them in the crockpot on low overnight. Don't turn the crockpot on until right before bed, and check first thing in the morning. Sometimes I've crockpotted beans overnight and then woke up to find them too soft. If you're okay with cooking them on the stovetop, drain the soaked beans, put them in a heavy pot, cover with plenty of fresh water, and bring to a good boil. Then turn the heat down to a simmer and let them bubble gently for an hour. The bag may say to cook them for 2-3 hours. It seems to me that I've been having my beans become soft in 40-90 minutes. So start checking sooner than the instructions on the bag indicate.
Do not put a lid on the pot. Well, if you LIKE cleaning messes off your stove-top and scouring the outside of your pots, go ahead. Beans, like potatoes, will boil over if there's a lid. If you must have a lid, then make sure it's sitting a bit cock-eyed on the pot, so that you've got an inch or two uncovered for steam to escape.
Oh, by the way, don't use your soaking water to cook your beans. And once you've simmered your beans, you're going to want to dispose of that water too. Recipes will often say to cook the beans in the soaking water, and then to reserve the cooking water for your recipe. Do that only if you eat beans ALL the time. My father-in-law has a rhyme that he recites every single time beans are served: "Beans, bean, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot." The people you live with and work with will appreciate it if you use fresh water at each step of your bean-cooking. Granted, you lose nutrients if you keep changing the water. But you also lose odiferous farts. I think it's a valid trade-off.
Sometimes your beans will foam. If they do, you may want to get a wide-mouth jar or tin can out of your recycling bin and skim the beans. Use a slotted spoon to lift that 1-2" tall cloud of foamy stuff off the water and dump it into your disposal container. (For those of you who don't have septics, it can probably go down the drain. I've never experimented to see if bean foam has a deleterious effect on my septic, though.) Usually my beans don't foam. But now and then they do, and you probably want to scoop that gunk off.
You know the beans are done when you lift one bean out of the water with a spoon, blow on it, and the skin begins to crack. If the skin really really cracks open, they're probably overcooked. Oh well. That happens. They're not ruined. When the bean is cool enough to put in your mouth, bite it. If it's still hard, keep cooking. If it's actually soft, turn them off, but cook them a shorter time next time. Hopefully you will catch the beans when they've just begun to not be hard any more, but still have plenty of SHAPE to them. In other words, you want them done to the point that they are firm but have NO hardness in them. If you cook them to mush, turn them into soup, or flavor them like as if they were refried beans without the refrying.
Do NOT add salt, any salty meat (such as salt pork or a ham bone) to beans during this first stage of cooking. Nothing acid either, no vinegar, no tomato. Acid and salt slow down the cooking time immensely. It gets very frustrating to cook your beans for 12 hours (or 30 hours) and still have them be hard. Heads up: old beans take longer to cook. If they've been in your cupboard for five years, expect them to be simmering for quite a while!
When the beans are done, drain the water. (Hooray for less farting!) If you're ready to put them into a recipe, go ahead. If you need to wait before you put together your recipe, you can easily store your cooked beans in the refrigerator. Rinse them a few times with water to cool them down. Then put them in a big bowl or a water pitcher and cover with cool water. They will store nicely in the fridge for a couple of days. If you want to store them longer (maybe a week), then you should drain them and give them fresh water every other day to prevent spoilage.
Don't be afraid to add salt. Beans need salt. Just make sure to add it after you've cooked them the first time.
There you go. Dry beans cooked up so that they're handy for soups, baked beans, salads, hummus, burritos, etc. And at a fraction of the cost of canned beans.
First thing to know is that you probably want to start the day before, especially if you aren't going to be home to cook during the day that you'll be eating the beans. If the beans are for Sunday lunch, you can start Friday morning, Friday night, or at the latest Saturday morning. If the beans are for Thursday supper and you're at work during the day, sort your beans on Tuesday night, and start soaking them Wednesday morning.
First thing is to sort any mudballs or rocks out of your pound of beans. When I first started using dry beans, I was looking at each individual bean. What a pain! If you're not experienced at sorting beans, try this: pour about 1/3 or 1/2 cup of dry beans onto a dinner plate, and scan them to see if there's anything icky. Usually it's hard balls of dirt. In 25 years of using dried beans, I've only found an actual pebble once or twice. Sometimes you'll find part of the seed pod or another part of the plant. Sometimes you'll see a bean that was significantly bug-gnawed. Sometimes you'll find a different kind of bean (which wouldn't be a problem unless the oddball is a bean that takes much longer to cook than the rest of the crowd). Once you've picked out anything icky from the beans on the plate, dump them into a colander or sieve, and scan another 1/2 cup of beans. When you've checked the whole bag, rinse the beans under running cold water, rubbing them a bit between your hands to wash them.
Put them in a pot or bowl. You want a 6-quart pot (or larger) for a pound of beans. Cover them with lots of cold water. I mean, you want them covered very deeply because they're going to swell to 2-3 times their size. Let the beans sit all day. Or overnight. Eight hours. Do not use the quick-soak method on the back of the bean bag. You're more likely to get mushy beans that way.
If you want to use the crockpot to cook your beans, drain them in the evening, cover them with plenty of water, and leave them in the crockpot on low overnight. Don't turn the crockpot on until right before bed, and check first thing in the morning. Sometimes I've crockpotted beans overnight and then woke up to find them too soft. If you're okay with cooking them on the stovetop, drain the soaked beans, put them in a heavy pot, cover with plenty of fresh water, and bring to a good boil. Then turn the heat down to a simmer and let them bubble gently for an hour. The bag may say to cook them for 2-3 hours. It seems to me that I've been having my beans become soft in 40-90 minutes. So start checking sooner than the instructions on the bag indicate.
Do not put a lid on the pot. Well, if you LIKE cleaning messes off your stove-top and scouring the outside of your pots, go ahead. Beans, like potatoes, will boil over if there's a lid. If you must have a lid, then make sure it's sitting a bit cock-eyed on the pot, so that you've got an inch or two uncovered for steam to escape.
Oh, by the way, don't use your soaking water to cook your beans. And once you've simmered your beans, you're going to want to dispose of that water too. Recipes will often say to cook the beans in the soaking water, and then to reserve the cooking water for your recipe. Do that only if you eat beans ALL the time. My father-in-law has a rhyme that he recites every single time beans are served: "Beans, bean, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot." The people you live with and work with will appreciate it if you use fresh water at each step of your bean-cooking. Granted, you lose nutrients if you keep changing the water. But you also lose odiferous farts. I think it's a valid trade-off.
Sometimes your beans will foam. If they do, you may want to get a wide-mouth jar or tin can out of your recycling bin and skim the beans. Use a slotted spoon to lift that 1-2" tall cloud of foamy stuff off the water and dump it into your disposal container. (For those of you who don't have septics, it can probably go down the drain. I've never experimented to see if bean foam has a deleterious effect on my septic, though.) Usually my beans don't foam. But now and then they do, and you probably want to scoop that gunk off.
You know the beans are done when you lift one bean out of the water with a spoon, blow on it, and the skin begins to crack. If the skin really really cracks open, they're probably overcooked. Oh well. That happens. They're not ruined. When the bean is cool enough to put in your mouth, bite it. If it's still hard, keep cooking. If it's actually soft, turn them off, but cook them a shorter time next time. Hopefully you will catch the beans when they've just begun to not be hard any more, but still have plenty of SHAPE to them. In other words, you want them done to the point that they are firm but have NO hardness in them. If you cook them to mush, turn them into soup, or flavor them like as if they were refried beans without the refrying.
Do NOT add salt, any salty meat (such as salt pork or a ham bone) to beans during this first stage of cooking. Nothing acid either, no vinegar, no tomato. Acid and salt slow down the cooking time immensely. It gets very frustrating to cook your beans for 12 hours (or 30 hours) and still have them be hard. Heads up: old beans take longer to cook. If they've been in your cupboard for five years, expect them to be simmering for quite a while!
When the beans are done, drain the water. (Hooray for less farting!) If you're ready to put them into a recipe, go ahead. If you need to wait before you put together your recipe, you can easily store your cooked beans in the refrigerator. Rinse them a few times with water to cool them down. Then put them in a big bowl or a water pitcher and cover with cool water. They will store nicely in the fridge for a couple of days. If you want to store them longer (maybe a week), then you should drain them and give them fresh water every other day to prevent spoilage.
Don't be afraid to add salt. Beans need salt. Just make sure to add it after you've cooked them the first time.
There you go. Dry beans cooked up so that they're handy for soups, baked beans, salads, hummus, burritos, etc. And at a fraction of the cost of canned beans.
Today's Laugh
He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having problems with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians. It was the last performance of the season, Beethoven's 9th Symphony, which required extra effort from the basses at the end. Earlier that evening, he had found the basses celebrating one of their birthdays by passing a bottle around. As he was about to cue the basses near the end of the Beethoven piece, the conductor knocked over his music stand. The sheet music scattered. As he stood in front of his orchestra, his worst fear was realized:
it was the bottom of the 9th, no score, and the basses were loaded.
it was the bottom of the 9th, no score, and the basses were loaded.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Not-a-Side-Dish Baked Beans
These beans started as a side dish one evening. But by the time we doctored them up, neither Gary nor I wanted the main dish. We just wanted to hog the beans. And lick the spoon. And the plates. And the pan. And then make more and start all over.
So at the family reunion we started over, with no recipe but only a vague memory. For 30 people instead of 4. Again with the lack of self-control with regard to the beans.
So here's what I need to remember for next time. We scratched down only an ingredient list, but no amounts. So this is my best guess, to be tweaked next time I make them. This is definitely one of those recipes where you have to "season to taste" and adjust, then taste, and adjust, then taste, and adjust. And pretty soon you'll get it just right. But ... you will pretend you're still trying to adjust the seasonings ... just so you can get by with dipping the spoon into the pot again and popping another bite into your mouth again. Mmmmmmm.
32-40 ounce can of Bush's Baked Beans
1 pint can of cheap pork-n-beans
1/2 pound of hamburger
1 medium onion, chopped fine
salt
plenty of black pepper
1/2 or 3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon Emeril's Essence
1/8 or 1/4 teaspoon Frank's Red Hot cayenne sauce
1/8 teaspoon (or less) liquid smoke
1/4 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
Cook up the hamburger and onion. Add to the canned beans. Add spices and flavors. Can be heated on the stove or in the crockpot. But it's even better (less runny) if it can be slowly baked in the oven.
So at the family reunion we started over, with no recipe but only a vague memory. For 30 people instead of 4. Again with the lack of self-control with regard to the beans.
So here's what I need to remember for next time. We scratched down only an ingredient list, but no amounts. So this is my best guess, to be tweaked next time I make them. This is definitely one of those recipes where you have to "season to taste" and adjust, then taste, and adjust, then taste, and adjust. And pretty soon you'll get it just right. But ... you will pretend you're still trying to adjust the seasonings ... just so you can get by with dipping the spoon into the pot again and popping another bite into your mouth again. Mmmmmmm.
32-40 ounce can of Bush's Baked Beans
1 pint can of cheap pork-n-beans
1/2 pound of hamburger
1 medium onion, chopped fine
salt
plenty of black pepper
1/2 or 3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon Emeril's Essence
1/8 or 1/4 teaspoon Frank's Red Hot cayenne sauce
1/8 teaspoon (or less) liquid smoke
1/4 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
Cook up the hamburger and onion. Add to the canned beans. Add spices and flavors. Can be heated on the stove or in the crockpot. But it's even better (less runny) if it can be slowly baked in the oven.
The Best Lover
Sunday's gospel (end of Luke 9) included the incident where the man who was called to follow Jesus asked if he might first go back and bury his dad. Jesus replied (in what Pastor referred to as one of His "most callous" responses), "Let the dead bury their own dead." During Bible class there was a brief discussion of the fourth commandment ("Honor your father and your mother") and how that doesn't clash with the verse in Luke 9 or the spot a few chapters later where Jesus says we cannot be His disciple unless we hate our father, mother, brother, sister, and even our own life.
Pastor talked about how our focus is entirely on Christ. Our loved ones can easily become idols. That does not mean we are not to love our loved ones. (After all, they wouldn't be our loved ones if we didn't love them. Righto!)
But when we love Christ, when we look to Christ, when we listen to Christ, His love changes hearts. The mercy we receive spills out to those around us. Those who love Christ most will be the ones who love family best. The husband who loves his Jesus more than he loves his wife will be the husband who loves his wife better than he could otherwise have loved her.
Pastor talked about how our focus is entirely on Christ. Our loved ones can easily become idols. That does not mean we are not to love our loved ones. (After all, they wouldn't be our loved ones if we didn't love them. Righto!)
But when we love Christ, when we look to Christ, when we listen to Christ, His love changes hearts. The mercy we receive spills out to those around us. Those who love Christ most will be the ones who love family best. The husband who loves his Jesus more than he loves his wife will be the husband who loves his wife better than he could otherwise have loved her.
Today's Laugh
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Naked Kitchen
When we went on vacation, we stayed in cabins with kitchens. The kitchens had dishes and pots and silverware and towels and dishsoap. But no foil. No cling-wrap. No wax paper. No Tupperware. And none of my specially set-aside garbage. [gasp]
Until that first night at the family reunion, I didn't realize how much I rely on junk that most people toss in the trash. Where do you put leftovers? In an old peanut butter jar, right? Oh. No old peanut butter jars in my vacation cupboards.
When you make a big batch of food that needs to be stored until the next meal, doesn't it go in an old ice-cream pail? What happens when there's no old ice-cream pail?
When you nuke something and don't want it to spatter all over the inside of the microwave, what do you cover it with? Some people use paper towels or wax paper. I use a dinner plate. We also use plates as "lids" on bowls of leftovers in the fridge. But when you have only 4 plates for 6 people, you've gotta watch to ensure you've got plates to eat off of.
So what's another option as a leftover lid? Obviously, a plastic bag that you picked up in the produce dept, the bag which transported your lettuce or your tomatoes home. Or an old bread bag. But in a naked kitchen that you're borrowing for the week, there is no stash of old bread bags, no stash of old sandwich bags, no stash of little glass jars to shake-shake-shake up your flour and liquid for a white sauce.
I found a reprieve when we discovered that the clean coffee mugs were covered with sandwich bags. That enabled us to get through the first day until we made it to the grocery store and brought home [ta da!] lettuce bags and apple bags! As we progressed through the week, I built up my stash of Good Garbage, and thus began to function better in my little vacation kitchen.
And then came the day to leave. I was compelled to [gasp] throw all that perfectly decent garbage into the trash! (Fear not. Although it was traumatic, I managed to live through the waste of all that helpful garbage.)
Until that first night at the family reunion, I didn't realize how much I rely on junk that most people toss in the trash. Where do you put leftovers? In an old peanut butter jar, right? Oh. No old peanut butter jars in my vacation cupboards.
When you make a big batch of food that needs to be stored until the next meal, doesn't it go in an old ice-cream pail? What happens when there's no old ice-cream pail?
When you nuke something and don't want it to spatter all over the inside of the microwave, what do you cover it with? Some people use paper towels or wax paper. I use a dinner plate. We also use plates as "lids" on bowls of leftovers in the fridge. But when you have only 4 plates for 6 people, you've gotta watch to ensure you've got plates to eat off of.
So what's another option as a leftover lid? Obviously, a plastic bag that you picked up in the produce dept, the bag which transported your lettuce or your tomatoes home. Or an old bread bag. But in a naked kitchen that you're borrowing for the week, there is no stash of old bread bags, no stash of old sandwich bags, no stash of little glass jars to shake-shake-shake up your flour and liquid for a white sauce.
I found a reprieve when we discovered that the clean coffee mugs were covered with sandwich bags. That enabled us to get through the first day until we made it to the grocery store and brought home [ta da!] lettuce bags and apple bags! As we progressed through the week, I built up my stash of Good Garbage, and thus began to function better in my little vacation kitchen.
And then came the day to leave. I was compelled to [gasp] throw all that perfectly decent garbage into the trash! (Fear not. Although it was traumatic, I managed to live through the waste of all that helpful garbage.)
Reason for My Blog
Just a reminder (in light of something I heard recently)...
This blog exists for two main reasons.
1. So that Mom and my kids can keep up on some daily happenings in our household.
2. Because the margins in my Bible aren't big enough to write down all the notes I want to scribble there. Don't be offended if I write about theology; I'm not being didactic: it's just that this blog is my own little pensieve.
I do need to rethink the posting of daily happenings. With a huge increase in recent months of strangers visiting my blog (via the "next blog" button on blogger) I've been hesitant to post things that I previously would have put up.
Oh, wait. There's another reason for my blog.
3. Writing helps me keep my hold on sanity. It's an outlet.
This blog exists for two main reasons.
1. So that Mom and my kids can keep up on some daily happenings in our household.
2. Because the margins in my Bible aren't big enough to write down all the notes I want to scribble there. Don't be offended if I write about theology; I'm not being didactic: it's just that this blog is my own little pensieve.
I do need to rethink the posting of daily happenings. With a huge increase in recent months of strangers visiting my blog (via the "next blog" button on blogger) I've been hesitant to post things that I previously would have put up.
Oh, wait. There's another reason for my blog.
3. Writing helps me keep my hold on sanity. It's an outlet.
Today's Laugh
I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United States. Both her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there.
So I asked her, "If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed.
"Wow ... what a worthy goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50.
"Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
"Welcome to the Republican Party," I told her.
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
So I asked her, "If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed.
"Wow ... what a worthy goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50.
"Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
"Welcome to the Republican Party," I told her.
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Garden Report
The problem with weeding is the original Pringles jingle: "once you pop, you can't stop." You start popping those clover roots and deep dandelion roots out of the soft mud, and you just can't stop. I want to finish the job, and clear the jungle of weeds away so that you can see the soil in all the garden patches, and not just in the lovely tomato patch which I weeded yesterday.
Note to self: make sure shirt is tucked in when weeding. There are certain parts of my body that have not seen sun in 30 years, since the bikini days of long-ago summers. With my shirt untucked yesterday, and mid-day June sun hitting a couple inches of my very white lower back, I now have a glaring red streak just above my jeans' waistband.
I don't know what it is, but my fruit trees didn't do well this year. The cherry harvest was less than what I would have gotten in 15 minutes last year. One apple tree has no fruit; the other has only 3 apples. The grape vines are very sparsely fruited. But the grapes are babies. They have an excuse; they need time.
Still haven't harvested the spring beets. They're getting big.
Lettuce is almost done. My second planting still has a small head or two.
None of the carrots have germinated.
My early-June planting of cilantro seeds (bought fresh a few weeks ago!) is coming up. Finally I'm seeing some cilantro. And smmmmmelling cilantro. The cilantro plants that I bought and transplanted are going to seed already. I hope I can still use them. Or that the seeds will hurry up and form, and fall, and grow, and get me some more cilantro. Can't have too much of that!
Bye-bye to my organic tomatoes. I found little red aphids on one of them. Hello Sevin Dust.
Yesterday I staked the tomatoes and pruned them. These hybrid tomatoes sure put out gobs of leaves. That was a problem last year. This year I pruned earlier, hoping to give the tomatoes room to grow, and sun and air, and hoping to put a little more of the plants' energy into creating fruit instead of lots of lovely greenery. Doing all 10 plants at once helped me figure out which branches needed to go and which were the fruit-bearing shoots. Woo hoo! I've tried to figure that out before; it's been explained to me. But sitting there, following branches from the roots to the tip, and seeing what was on them, and making careful observations, well, it paid off. I figured it out!
How come so many slugs? I'm going to have to figure out what to do about them. I'm hoping there won't be so many when I'm caught up with the weeding -- not so many moisty dark hiding places. On the other hand, maybe they'll be hungry for the plants I'm trying to grow instead of being satisfied with the invading weeds. Eek.
Been meaning daily to plant more beans and more carrots. But it's SO wet out there that I'm afraid to try to dig. Loosening the soil at this point may have the same lumpy results as trying to dig in mid-March. I could just shove bean seeds into the soil, but that wouldn't work with carrots.
Strawberries still have some fruit. I haven't even tried to harvest them the last week, what with other duties and some illness. Need to get out there tomorrow. I hope.
While weeding near the asparagus, I saw pretty little red growths on the raspberry canes. Oh boy! I better prune next year's canes pretty quickly, so that I'll be able to find the fruit on this year's canes. I pruned back a lot of next year's growth already, but I need to hack back more of it. Jam soon, raspberries to snack on sooner. And my favorite raspberry pie!
Note to self: make sure shirt is tucked in when weeding. There are certain parts of my body that have not seen sun in 30 years, since the bikini days of long-ago summers. With my shirt untucked yesterday, and mid-day June sun hitting a couple inches of my very white lower back, I now have a glaring red streak just above my jeans' waistband.
I don't know what it is, but my fruit trees didn't do well this year. The cherry harvest was less than what I would have gotten in 15 minutes last year. One apple tree has no fruit; the other has only 3 apples. The grape vines are very sparsely fruited. But the grapes are babies. They have an excuse; they need time.
Still haven't harvested the spring beets. They're getting big.
Lettuce is almost done. My second planting still has a small head or two.
None of the carrots have germinated.
My early-June planting of cilantro seeds (bought fresh a few weeks ago!) is coming up. Finally I'm seeing some cilantro. And smmmmmelling cilantro. The cilantro plants that I bought and transplanted are going to seed already. I hope I can still use them. Or that the seeds will hurry up and form, and fall, and grow, and get me some more cilantro. Can't have too much of that!
Bye-bye to my organic tomatoes. I found little red aphids on one of them. Hello Sevin Dust.
Yesterday I staked the tomatoes and pruned them. These hybrid tomatoes sure put out gobs of leaves. That was a problem last year. This year I pruned earlier, hoping to give the tomatoes room to grow, and sun and air, and hoping to put a little more of the plants' energy into creating fruit instead of lots of lovely greenery. Doing all 10 plants at once helped me figure out which branches needed to go and which were the fruit-bearing shoots. Woo hoo! I've tried to figure that out before; it's been explained to me. But sitting there, following branches from the roots to the tip, and seeing what was on them, and making careful observations, well, it paid off. I figured it out!
How come so many slugs? I'm going to have to figure out what to do about them. I'm hoping there won't be so many when I'm caught up with the weeding -- not so many moisty dark hiding places. On the other hand, maybe they'll be hungry for the plants I'm trying to grow instead of being satisfied with the invading weeds. Eek.
Been meaning daily to plant more beans and more carrots. But it's SO wet out there that I'm afraid to try to dig. Loosening the soil at this point may have the same lumpy results as trying to dig in mid-March. I could just shove bean seeds into the soil, but that wouldn't work with carrots.
Strawberries still have some fruit. I haven't even tried to harvest them the last week, what with other duties and some illness. Need to get out there tomorrow. I hope.
While weeding near the asparagus, I saw pretty little red growths on the raspberry canes. Oh boy! I better prune next year's canes pretty quickly, so that I'll be able to find the fruit on this year's canes. I pruned back a lot of next year's growth already, but I need to hack back more of it. Jam soon, raspberries to snack on sooner. And my favorite raspberry pie!
Not Fit for the Kingdom of God
We had the story today of Elijah, post-Mt-Carmel, when God told him to go anoint Elisha as his successor (1 Kings 19). Elisha wanted to go back and say goodbye to his family and have a farewell meal. Perfectly reasonable, seems to me.
We also had the story from Luke 9, where Jesus tells the guy to follow Him. But the guy says he wants to go back and say bye to his family, and Jesus says, "No one who looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." Now, I don't know about you, but I could never make sense of that. Is it okay to tell your family instead of simply disappearing? Or is it not? Why one response from Elijah and a different response from Jesus? What's the deal?
Pastor addressed that today. He suggested that Elisha (according to Jesus' words) was not fit for the kingdom of God. And why are we shocked are that? Is anyone fit for the kingdom of God? Only Christ didn't look back. Only Christ had no regrets. Only Christ was fully faithful. Only Christ is fit for the kingdom of God. We are worthy only because we are found in Him, with His "fitness."
Well, duh! Once he says that, it's so obvious! The fact that I didn't see it before just shows how much I see the Bible as a handbook on how to be good, how much I think Christianity is about my trying to follow the rules. But even so, He still declares me to be fit for the kingdom.
We also had the story from Luke 9, where Jesus tells the guy to follow Him. But the guy says he wants to go back and say bye to his family, and Jesus says, "No one who looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." Now, I don't know about you, but I could never make sense of that. Is it okay to tell your family instead of simply disappearing? Or is it not? Why one response from Elijah and a different response from Jesus? What's the deal?
Pastor addressed that today. He suggested that Elisha (according to Jesus' words) was not fit for the kingdom of God. And why are we shocked are that? Is anyone fit for the kingdom of God? Only Christ didn't look back. Only Christ had no regrets. Only Christ was fully faithful. Only Christ is fit for the kingdom of God. We are worthy only because we are found in Him, with His "fitness."
Well, duh! Once he says that, it's so obvious! The fact that I didn't see it before just shows how much I see the Bible as a handbook on how to be good, how much I think Christianity is about my trying to follow the rules. But even so, He still declares me to be fit for the kingdom.
Today's Laugh
One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy!"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy!"
Saturday, June 26, 2010
"Okay"
Thought the allergens were getting to me. Or the humidity. But probably it's a cold. Not used to being sick.
I noticed yesterday that I was telling myself "okay" throughout the day. All day. Many times. When I had to go to the grocery store, it was "okay" after I put my shoes on, "okay" after I picked up my purse, "okay" after I climbed into the van and closed the door. This was stupid! But I kept doing it. I would tell myself "okay" after I found each item on the grocery list. "Okay" after I found a check-out lane.
After I took a nap, I gave myself an "okay" after I sat up. And an "okay" after I stood up. It was almost like I needed to coach myself through the day. "You did that. C'mon, Susan, you can tackle the next thing!" Okay!
I've barely told myself "okay" today. That must mean 14 hours of sleep did something to improve my health. :-)
But you know what? If I start hearing me give myself "okay" again today, I think it will be time to lie down and sleep some more.
I noticed yesterday that I was telling myself "okay" throughout the day. All day. Many times. When I had to go to the grocery store, it was "okay" after I put my shoes on, "okay" after I picked up my purse, "okay" after I climbed into the van and closed the door. This was stupid! But I kept doing it. I would tell myself "okay" after I found each item on the grocery list. "Okay" after I found a check-out lane.
After I took a nap, I gave myself an "okay" after I sat up. And an "okay" after I stood up. It was almost like I needed to coach myself through the day. "You did that. C'mon, Susan, you can tackle the next thing!" Okay!
I've barely told myself "okay" today. That must mean 14 hours of sleep did something to improve my health. :-)
But you know what? If I start hearing me give myself "okay" again today, I think it will be time to lie down and sleep some more.
Today's Laugh
Sick-day negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out by their contract.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper. "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"
There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee. The news article reported that he had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
A union negotiator broke the silence in the room.
"Wow!" he said. "Just think what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper. "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"
There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee. The news article reported that he had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
A union negotiator broke the silence in the room.
"Wow!" he said. "Just think what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
Friday, June 25, 2010
The Lamb Slain from the Foundation of the World
We're all very familiar with the Palm Sunday epistle. Jesus emptied Himself. He took on human flesh to save us. He suffered the death of the cross. Therefore the Father has exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name.
Therefore?
Wait a second here.
Now, this is how I tend to look at time. Jesus left His heavenly throne. Then we have Christmas, which is, y'know, when we hear that this little boy was named Jesus. Then we have the little boy grow up, being called Jesus all the while. Then He is put on trial, beaten, mocked, crucified, dies, is buried. Then He's raised and ascends. He had the name "Jesus" from the time He was 8 days old.
So what is this "therefore"?
God gave Him the name Jesus because He emptied Himself and was incarnate and died to redeem us.
This doesn't make any sense whatsoever if we're constrained by time. Either Jesus got His name after He died, or else He got it when He was still in diapers (and Paul is in error here as He writes to the Philippians).
The Lord's gracious redemption of His sinful people is not constrained by time. It's too big. Too great. Too ... eternal. Too ... uh ... foundational to the structure of the entire world.
Mary and Joseph were told to name Him "Jesus" because of what He did [not "would do"] on the cross. That's just kind of mind-boggling.
Therefore?
Wait a second here.
Now, this is how I tend to look at time. Jesus left His heavenly throne. Then we have Christmas, which is, y'know, when we hear that this little boy was named Jesus. Then we have the little boy grow up, being called Jesus all the while. Then He is put on trial, beaten, mocked, crucified, dies, is buried. Then He's raised and ascends. He had the name "Jesus" from the time He was 8 days old.
So what is this "therefore"?
God gave Him the name Jesus because He emptied Himself and was incarnate and died to redeem us.
This doesn't make any sense whatsoever if we're constrained by time. Either Jesus got His name after He died, or else He got it when He was still in diapers (and Paul is in error here as He writes to the Philippians).
The Lord's gracious redemption of His sinful people is not constrained by time. It's too big. Too great. Too ... eternal. Too ... uh ... foundational to the structure of the entire world.
Mary and Joseph were told to name Him "Jesus" because of what He did [not "would do"] on the cross. That's just kind of mind-boggling.
Today's Laugh
Oh, this is so mean. I shouldn't have laughed. But I did!
You're sitting in your riverfront office one day, when you see a lawyer and an IRS agent drowning. You can only save one of them. Do you (a) read the paper, or (b) go to lunch?
You're sitting in your riverfront office one day, when you see a lawyer and an IRS agent drowning. You can only save one of them. Do you (a) read the paper, or (b) go to lunch?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Singular or Plural?
Have you ever noticed how many times in the Bible a plural pronoun is attached to a singular noun?
It says "our mind." Not "our minds."
It says "their heart." Not "their hearts."
It says "our life." Not "our lives."
Some "translations" are not really translations, and they [cough] "fix" these so-called grammar mistakes in the original language. That's naughty. There's a reason our Bibles ought to keep these mixed-number passages that would drive an English teacher batty.
We are a reflection of the Trinity who is a community of loving persons in the one Godhead. We in the Church are joined together to be one body of Christ. We are of one mind. We have one life.
It rejoices the heart to come across these little tidbits in the psalms and the epistles. Just the inconspicuous little lack-of-an-S on a noun ... and it quietly points to how we are all joined to Christ in one mystical union.
It says "our mind." Not "our minds."
It says "their heart." Not "their hearts."
It says "our life." Not "our lives."
Some "translations" are not really translations, and they [cough] "fix" these so-called grammar mistakes in the original language. That's naughty. There's a reason our Bibles ought to keep these mixed-number passages that would drive an English teacher batty.
We are a reflection of the Trinity who is a community of loving persons in the one Godhead. We in the Church are joined together to be one body of Christ. We are of one mind. We have one life.
It rejoices the heart to come across these little tidbits in the psalms and the epistles. Just the inconspicuous little lack-of-an-S on a noun ... and it quietly points to how we are all joined to Christ in one mystical union.
Today's Laugh
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left ... then to the right ... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left ... then to the right ... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Shame
The Gadarene demoniac in Sunday's gospel (Luke 8) lived among the graves and ran around naked. He had no shame over it, either.
When Adam sinned and realized he was naked, he hid himself.
On the whole, shame is a bad thing. It is evidence that we have sinned. We pray that God would guard and keep us so that we may not be misled into false belief, despair, and other great shame or vice. And yet, shame over sin is at least a little evidence that the person is aware of God's word and is at least a little grieved over having sinned. When there is no shame over sin, when sin runs amok and is celebrated and reveled in, then it's very likely that faith has been entirely squelched.
When Adam sinned and realized he was naked, he hid himself.
On the whole, shame is a bad thing. It is evidence that we have sinned. We pray that God would guard and keep us so that we may not be misled into false belief, despair, and other great shame or vice. And yet, shame over sin is at least a little evidence that the person is aware of God's word and is at least a little grieved over having sinned. When there is no shame over sin, when sin runs amok and is celebrated and reveled in, then it's very likely that faith has been entirely squelched.
Devotions at Dinner?
Question: Has your family ever figured out a time to have family prayer that's not at meal-time?
I realized recently that we are not having prayers as often as we did. Neither are we eating together as a family so much. If I'm busy and supper is "wing it, guys!" then we don't have devotions. If the kitchen table is littered with schoolwork or a sewing project, even if I cook a Real Meal, we eat in the living room and do not follow-up with prayers.
When we used to have morning devotions and evening devotions, morning prayers were after breakfast and at the start of our homeschooling day, and evening prayers were after supper but before the first kid's bedtime. Once upon a longer time ago, when there were only two kids in the house and thus some cohesiveness to Bedtime, Bible stories and hymns were at bedtime.
Regular family meal-times don't guarantee that we will get out our Bibles and hymnals and pray together. But lack of family meal-time almost certainly guarantees that we won't pray together.
I wonder if recognizing this trend will make it easier for me to focus on getting a Real Meal ready each day, and put on the table instead of plunking ourselves on the couch or the floor or wherever.
So when does your family have prayers together? Are we the only ones who need to eat together before we pray together?
I realized recently that we are not having prayers as often as we did. Neither are we eating together as a family so much. If I'm busy and supper is "wing it, guys!" then we don't have devotions. If the kitchen table is littered with schoolwork or a sewing project, even if I cook a Real Meal, we eat in the living room and do not follow-up with prayers.
When we used to have morning devotions and evening devotions, morning prayers were after breakfast and at the start of our homeschooling day, and evening prayers were after supper but before the first kid's bedtime. Once upon a longer time ago, when there were only two kids in the house and thus some cohesiveness to Bedtime, Bible stories and hymns were at bedtime.
Regular family meal-times don't guarantee that we will get out our Bibles and hymnals and pray together. But lack of family meal-time almost certainly guarantees that we won't pray together.
I wonder if recognizing this trend will make it easier for me to focus on getting a Real Meal ready each day, and put on the table instead of plunking ourselves on the couch or the floor or wherever.
So when does your family have prayers together? Are we the only ones who need to eat together before we pray together?
Today's Laugh
A student called up his mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money because he was broke.
His mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh, yeah, okay," responded the kid.
So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well, how much did you give the boy this time?"
"Oh, I wrote two checks: one for $20, and the other for $1000."
"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad. "Are you going crazy???"
"Don't worry, hon," Mom said, kissing Dad on the on top of his bald head. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
His mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh, yeah, okay," responded the kid.
So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well, how much did you give the boy this time?"
"Oh, I wrote two checks: one for $20, and the other for $1000."
"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad. "Are you going crazy???"
"Don't worry, hon," Mom said, kissing Dad on the on top of his bald head. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Imposing
On Paul's orientation day at college, we happened to be chatting in the cafeteria with one of the women on staff. Turned out Patti was the school counselor, and she was missing a family wedding in LaCrosse because Freshman Orientation is something she just could not miss. I was driving right past LaCrosse on my way home, so Patti asked if she could have a ride. It was such a pleasant ride to chat with her and get to know her. And because my car was going in that direction (and she was not shy to ask for a ride) she could attend the reception with her family.
Last week at symposium, Patti's son-in-law and I were talking. I mentioned this story and how much it had impressed me and how friendly she was. David said that, yes, his wife was just like her mom: they both will ask things that other people might be afraid to ask, but it's so refreshing that they don't pussy-foot around.
The next day, a few of us from church were munching on our brown-bag lunches while all the other symposium attendees went out to restaurants. We were talking and eating and laughing when Craig walked into the room and approached our table. He asked, "Mind if I join you?" knowing that of course we wouldn't mind. I don't know his family as well as I'd like to (they're really nice!), so it was super to have him with us.
The next day, somebody needed a ride back to the hotel after the barbecue at the park. As we drove him there, he asked where we live. "Just a couple of miles from church." John asked, "Then what are you doing coming all the way over here to drive me back to the hotel? I thought this would be on your way." No, it wasn't on our way. But there was nobody left at the park going in that direction, so we took him. It was no big deal; it was a pleasant chance to visit with him a bit more.
So, here's the thing:
Why am I so afraid of "imposing"? I don't see any of these situations as impositions. Not at all. I'm happy to have other people join the gang! But when I'm the one wanting to approach a group of people eating lunch, or when I'm the one asking for a favor, I feel like a big fat wart or leech. This is dumb. If I was delighted to be with Patti and Craig and John in these stories from last week, then mightn't other people have the same sort of delights?
Last week at symposium, Patti's son-in-law and I were talking. I mentioned this story and how much it had impressed me and how friendly she was. David said that, yes, his wife was just like her mom: they both will ask things that other people might be afraid to ask, but it's so refreshing that they don't pussy-foot around.
The next day, a few of us from church were munching on our brown-bag lunches while all the other symposium attendees went out to restaurants. We were talking and eating and laughing when Craig walked into the room and approached our table. He asked, "Mind if I join you?" knowing that of course we wouldn't mind. I don't know his family as well as I'd like to (they're really nice!), so it was super to have him with us.
The next day, somebody needed a ride back to the hotel after the barbecue at the park. As we drove him there, he asked where we live. "Just a couple of miles from church." John asked, "Then what are you doing coming all the way over here to drive me back to the hotel? I thought this would be on your way." No, it wasn't on our way. But there was nobody left at the park going in that direction, so we took him. It was no big deal; it was a pleasant chance to visit with him a bit more.
So, here's the thing:
Why am I so afraid of "imposing"? I don't see any of these situations as impositions. Not at all. I'm happy to have other people join the gang! But when I'm the one wanting to approach a group of people eating lunch, or when I'm the one asking for a favor, I feel like a big fat wart or leech. This is dumb. If I was delighted to be with Patti and Craig and John in these stories from last week, then mightn't other people have the same sort of delights?
Jogging
I haven't exercised at all since last August. But my leg problem is clearing up, and I have inserts in my shoes to deal with the foot pain. Once I got to the point that I could walk around the house without wincing, I figured I should get walking outside, with a little speed and effort invested. So I started "jogging" again on May 27. I've been a good girl. I've only skipped days when I was occupied at church all morning or traveling to/from vacation.
I hate jogging. I have been spending the whole time giving myself speeches: "One more step. Remember to breathe. Keep going. Don't stop. Breathe, you idiot! One more step. And another step. You can do it. No, I can't! YES, you can, you wimp! Breathe!"
As I dragged myself through those 10-minute stints of excruciating exercise (which y'all would laugh at because it was such weak-hearted exercise!) I kept telling myself that I just needed to get through the first month. It would all be much easier after a month.
Well, I noticed last week that exercising isn't quite as detestable as it was 3-4 weeks ago. And today I finally reached the point where I could think about something other than "Just keep going!" So hooray! Now I'm looking forward to eventually reaping some of the benefits of this self-inflicted punishment.
I hate jogging. I have been spending the whole time giving myself speeches: "One more step. Remember to breathe. Keep going. Don't stop. Breathe, you idiot! One more step. And another step. You can do it. No, I can't! YES, you can, you wimp! Breathe!"
As I dragged myself through those 10-minute stints of excruciating exercise (which y'all would laugh at because it was such weak-hearted exercise!) I kept telling myself that I just needed to get through the first month. It would all be much easier after a month.
Well, I noticed last week that exercising isn't quite as detestable as it was 3-4 weeks ago. And today I finally reached the point where I could think about something other than "Just keep going!" So hooray! Now I'm looking forward to eventually reaping some of the benefits of this self-inflicted punishment.
Today's Laugh
It is a fact that baseball players, especially catchers, started using metal cups --and later hard plastic-- in the 19th century. They did not use hard helmets until about WWII. They must have finally realized that your head is also important to protect.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Nutrition-Nazi Bakes for the Neighbor
A very large dead branch came down out of the crab-apple tree shortly before vacation. We haven't gotten around to dealing with it yet. I did mention to Andrew once that we (read: he) should trim the twigs and begin sawing the branch into logs. But we (read: he, to escape my nagging) hadn't gotten to it yet.
Our neighbor Doug was outside today, trimming trees. Taking down branches. Chopping them up with a chainsaw. Wow..... Do you know how much faster chainsaws are than handsaws? Let me tell you, it is a LOT faster!
I was trying to get up my nerve to go over there and propose a barter: a couple of loaves of hotfresh bread in trade for his taking a few minutes with his chainsaw to turn that branch into a few fireplace-sized pieces. But before I did, he came over and offered! (Isn't that must mega-sweet?!?)
After picking up the logs, I told Doug of my ponderings 20 minutes earlier. He said I didn't have to do that, it was no problem, and all those nice neighborly things. I asked him whether I should make white or whole-wheat if I were to make them some bread anyhow. He said white.
So it's rising.
It looks funny. It's all .... well .... WHITE.
I feel like I'm giving him something that will hurt him. He does something so nice and I turn around and give him WHITE bread. I feel like a bad person.
(Wow, this really makes me realize what nutso I am.)
Our neighbor Doug was outside today, trimming trees. Taking down branches. Chopping them up with a chainsaw. Wow..... Do you know how much faster chainsaws are than handsaws? Let me tell you, it is a LOT faster!
I was trying to get up my nerve to go over there and propose a barter: a couple of loaves of hotfresh bread in trade for his taking a few minutes with his chainsaw to turn that branch into a few fireplace-sized pieces. But before I did, he came over and offered! (Isn't that must mega-sweet?!?)
After picking up the logs, I told Doug of my ponderings 20 minutes earlier. He said I didn't have to do that, it was no problem, and all those nice neighborly things. I asked him whether I should make white or whole-wheat if I were to make them some bread anyhow. He said white.
So it's rising.
It looks funny. It's all .... well .... WHITE.
I feel like I'm giving him something that will hurt him. He does something so nice and I turn around and give him WHITE bread. I feel like a bad person.
(Wow, this really makes me realize what nutso I am.)
Thinking about a Job
I keep checking the want ads, just in case something perfect shows up. And wow! Did I see a nifty-looking job this weekend! Now I need to decide whether to apply.
The job is to run the program that provides history fieldtrips to schoolkids. It would involve teaching in a "1917 schoolhouse" and also taking the kids to a 1860s museum a short walk away from the schoolhouse. Can you say "mega-fun"???
The upsides are that it sounds tremendously interesting to teach grade-school kids about living history. And that it's got lots of variety in the job (including planning the program, billing, communicating with the teachers who will be bringing their classes, and the actual teaching days).
It's a half-hour from home. Not exactly as close as I'd hoped to be for a job. But not too bad.
The downside is the amount of responsibility and time required. It's half-time, which is more than I'd want to put in for Andrew's last year (aka, catch-up and finish-it-off year) of homeschooling. And it involves marketing the program, talking it up in the community, finding schools to participate, enlisting volunteers, writing for grants to keep the program up and running, and otherwise promoting it. I'm not much for selling things, but as Gary said, maybe this is not pushing the program so much as letting people know it's there and the benefits of participating.
Yesterday afternoon, I was all gun-ho to fill out an application and go apply in person right away. But after I discovered the job description online (that is, the marketing aspects of the job) now I have a lot more to consider. It sure sounds like this would be the ideal job for me in so many ways! But am I ready to take on this much responsibility already, or do I need to wait another year when I'm down to homeschooling only one?
The job is to run the program that provides history fieldtrips to schoolkids. It would involve teaching in a "1917 schoolhouse" and also taking the kids to a 1860s museum a short walk away from the schoolhouse. Can you say "mega-fun"???
The upsides are that it sounds tremendously interesting to teach grade-school kids about living history. And that it's got lots of variety in the job (including planning the program, billing, communicating with the teachers who will be bringing their classes, and the actual teaching days).
It's a half-hour from home. Not exactly as close as I'd hoped to be for a job. But not too bad.
The downside is the amount of responsibility and time required. It's half-time, which is more than I'd want to put in for Andrew's last year (aka, catch-up and finish-it-off year) of homeschooling. And it involves marketing the program, talking it up in the community, finding schools to participate, enlisting volunteers, writing for grants to keep the program up and running, and otherwise promoting it. I'm not much for selling things, but as Gary said, maybe this is not pushing the program so much as letting people know it's there and the benefits of participating.
Yesterday afternoon, I was all gun-ho to fill out an application and go apply in person right away. But after I discovered the job description online (that is, the marketing aspects of the job) now I have a lot more to consider. It sure sounds like this would be the ideal job for me in so many ways! But am I ready to take on this much responsibility already, or do I need to wait another year when I'm down to homeschooling only one?
Today's Laugh
A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two. One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from a lawyer, eagerly agreed. When the time came, they spent a wonderful time, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors.
One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears--a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his high-powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, lawyer was plagued by visions of a lawsuit from his friend's family. He just had to save his friend.
Luckily, the bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for?!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"
One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears--a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his high-powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, lawyer was plagued by visions of a lawsuit from his friend's family. He just had to save his friend.
Luckily, the bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for?!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Wood Smoke
Ah, the smell of neighbors' fire places!
One neighbor has a smoke-house. We seldom smell it. Smoking is usually done during the chilly months. When the luscious odors come wafting our way, the closed window panes protect us from the temptation to eat ham in copious quantities.
For years we'd had a gas grill. When it died, we replaced it with a charcoal grill. (Cheaper, doncha know?) A friend introduced Gary to natural hardwood charcoal. Christopher also introduced Gary to a chimney lighter; this saves money on lighter fluid and eliminates the chemical taste of the starter. On now, on top of this, Gary has discovered yet more good flavor: the hickory wood chunks you can soak and then toss in with the charcoal. Boy oh boy! Every time we grill, it smells wonderful around here! Even when you haul out leftover hamburgers or pork chops, the enticing aroma spreads through the kitchen.
Issue #49 of Backwoods Home had an article on how to make your own charcoal. We did that once -- by accident. A smoking log was buried under enough ash, and we thought it was out. But the next time we went out to the fire pit, we discovered some of the log had become charcoal. That was neat! But given our current location and lack of hardwood, I'm not goin' for self-reliance; we'll buy real charcoal instead of making our own. Next we're going to have to try the inexpensive brand that my aunt told me was available at Walmart.
One neighbor has a smoke-house. We seldom smell it. Smoking is usually done during the chilly months. When the luscious odors come wafting our way, the closed window panes protect us from the temptation to eat ham in copious quantities.
For years we'd had a gas grill. When it died, we replaced it with a charcoal grill. (Cheaper, doncha know?) A friend introduced Gary to natural hardwood charcoal. Christopher also introduced Gary to a chimney lighter; this saves money on lighter fluid and eliminates the chemical taste of the starter. On now, on top of this, Gary has discovered yet more good flavor: the hickory wood chunks you can soak and then toss in with the charcoal. Boy oh boy! Every time we grill, it smells wonderful around here! Even when you haul out leftover hamburgers or pork chops, the enticing aroma spreads through the kitchen.
Issue #49 of Backwoods Home had an article on how to make your own charcoal. We did that once -- by accident. A smoking log was buried under enough ash, and we thought it was out. But the next time we went out to the fire pit, we discovered some of the log had become charcoal. That was neat! But given our current location and lack of hardwood, I'm not goin' for self-reliance; we'll buy real charcoal instead of making our own. Next we're going to have to try the inexpensive brand that my aunt told me was available at Walmart.
Today's Laugh
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply. "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply. "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Keeping Kids Safe
My son-in-law pointed me to an article by "America's Worst Mom."
She writes: We have to be less afraid of nature and more willing to embrace the idea that some rashes and bites are a fair price to pay in exchange for appreciating the wonder of a cool-looking rock or an unforgettable fern.
I have long said that it is SAFER for a kid to break his leg falling off the 8'-high slide (which no longer exists) than it is for him to stay locked up "safely" in his living room playing video games and watching television. Our society's desire to protect children actually does untold damage to a child's curiosity, intelligence, self-determination, and ability to grow up into a functional adult.
I'm plenty scared. The fearmongers all around me and the fearmongers in the media have affected me. And yet, in comparison to many moms around me, I'm the loosey-goosey "bad mom" that lets my kids do all sorts of wild and outlandish things. Helping cook (at the stove) when they're 1. Using the stove on their own when they're 5 or 6; chopping veggies with a sharp knife at the same age. Climbing ladders and high trees. Walking alone to a friend's house a half-mile away at age 7. At age 16, going to live for a few months with people that we met on the internet.
Check out Free Range Kids. What if enough of us spoke up (not officially, not on the FRK blog, but just to the folks around us)? What if the fearmongers lost some of their choke-hold on society?
She writes: We have to be less afraid of nature and more willing to embrace the idea that some rashes and bites are a fair price to pay in exchange for appreciating the wonder of a cool-looking rock or an unforgettable fern.
I have long said that it is SAFER for a kid to break his leg falling off the 8'-high slide (which no longer exists) than it is for him to stay locked up "safely" in his living room playing video games and watching television. Our society's desire to protect children actually does untold damage to a child's curiosity, intelligence, self-determination, and ability to grow up into a functional adult.
I'm plenty scared. The fearmongers all around me and the fearmongers in the media have affected me. And yet, in comparison to many moms around me, I'm the loosey-goosey "bad mom" that lets my kids do all sorts of wild and outlandish things. Helping cook (at the stove) when they're 1. Using the stove on their own when they're 5 or 6; chopping veggies with a sharp knife at the same age. Climbing ladders and high trees. Walking alone to a friend's house a half-mile away at age 7. At age 16, going to live for a few months with people that we met on the internet.
Check out Free Range Kids. What if enough of us spoke up (not officially, not on the FRK blog, but just to the folks around us)? What if the fearmongers lost some of their choke-hold on society?
Today's Laugh
The trucker knew the upcoming bridge was low, but the detour would be long and he thought he could make it through. Unfortunately, he managed to wedge his truck and load under the bridge. The state cop came out and said, "Got stuck there a little bit, huh?"
The quick-thinking truck driver said, "No, I was just delivering a bridge and ran out of gas."
The quick-thinking truck driver said, "No, I was just delivering a bridge and ran out of gas."
Friday, June 18, 2010
Nevertheless
Our story on Sunday was about Josiah and the recovery of the Torah and the celebration of the Passover (2 Kings 22). Josiah tore down the places of worship for the Baals and Ashtoreths. He got rid of the mediums and spiritists. He restored the temple and the feasts to Yahweh.
Nevertheless ...
Nevertheless the Lord did not turn from the fierceness of His great wrath, with which His anger was aroused against Judah, because of all the provocations with which Manasseh had provoked Him. And the Lord said, "I will also remove Judah from My sight, as I have removed Israel, and will cast off this city Jerusalem which I have chosen, and the house of which I said, 'My name shall be there.'" (2 Kings 23:26-27)
Whaddya mean, "Nevertheless"?? The people returned to the Lord their God. They repented. They celebrated the Passover as it hadn't been celebrated before. But God is still ticked? What's up with that? He will still pour out His wrath. He's still getting rid of them.
What about forgiveness? What about grace? What about mercy?
I did not like that "Nevertheless"!
But here's what Pastor said. Judah, the temple, Israel -- they are types of Christ. They show us who God is and what He's like and what He does.
The people repented. But God couldn't just say, "Ah, okay. No biggie. I won't be mad any more. We'll just forget about it." No. His anger at sin is real. Sin must be atoned for; it cannot merely be set aside. So, nevertheless,
It pleased the Lord to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief.
The fierceness of His wrath was poured out upon His Son --the true Judah-- because of all the ways we provoked Him with our unbelief and our idolatry.
Many hands were raised to wound Him,
None would interpose to save;
But the deepest stroke that pierced Him
Was the stroke that justice gave.
God had promised that Jerusalem, that the temple, that the Holy of Holies, would be the place of His saving presence. And yet He promises here in 2 Kings that He will cast off this place. How can both be true?
Mark the Sacrifice appointed,
See who bears the awful load;
'Tis the Word, the Lord's Anointed,
Son of Man and Son of God.
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
and by His stripes we are healed.
Nevertheless ...
Nevertheless the Lord did not turn from the fierceness of His great wrath, with which His anger was aroused against Judah, because of all the provocations with which Manasseh had provoked Him. And the Lord said, "I will also remove Judah from My sight, as I have removed Israel, and will cast off this city Jerusalem which I have chosen, and the house of which I said, 'My name shall be there.'" (2 Kings 23:26-27)
Whaddya mean, "Nevertheless"?? The people returned to the Lord their God. They repented. They celebrated the Passover as it hadn't been celebrated before. But God is still ticked? What's up with that? He will still pour out His wrath. He's still getting rid of them.
What about forgiveness? What about grace? What about mercy?
I did not like that "Nevertheless"!
But here's what Pastor said. Judah, the temple, Israel -- they are types of Christ. They show us who God is and what He's like and what He does.
The people repented. But God couldn't just say, "Ah, okay. No biggie. I won't be mad any more. We'll just forget about it." No. His anger at sin is real. Sin must be atoned for; it cannot merely be set aside. So, nevertheless,
It pleased the Lord to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief.
The fierceness of His wrath was poured out upon His Son --the true Judah-- because of all the ways we provoked Him with our unbelief and our idolatry.
Many hands were raised to wound Him,
None would interpose to save;
But the deepest stroke that pierced Him
Was the stroke that justice gave.
God had promised that Jerusalem, that the temple, that the Holy of Holies, would be the place of His saving presence. And yet He promises here in 2 Kings that He will cast off this place. How can both be true?
Mark the Sacrifice appointed,
See who bears the awful load;
'Tis the Word, the Lord's Anointed,
Son of Man and Son of God.
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
and by His stripes we are healed.
Today's Laugh
I personally do not blame Congress. If I had $600 or $800 billion in my pocket, I'd probably be irresponsible too.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Entrepreneurship
I've been considering taking a class at the local tech school on running a small business. I have several ideas, and I could begin to implement one or more of them easily enough -- were it not for government regulations out the wazoo. Hence the class. Not to learn about running a business, but about staying out of trouble with the government bureaucrats as I operate a business.
So yesterday I'm bouncing around the website for our tech school's Small Business Center and the links they have to the Small Business Administration. This is scary. The laws. The regulations. The need for insurance. The need for permits. The need for licenses. The taxes. The laws, the laws, the laws.
I burst out laughing at the claims that the government wants to provide incentives to small business owners, that they want to encourage entrepreneurs who will be creating new jobs.
They must not have taken a look at their own website.
There is nothing there but discouragement! The risks of starting a business are great enough without the government being the primary foe of the new business.
So yesterday I'm bouncing around the website for our tech school's Small Business Center and the links they have to the Small Business Administration. This is scary. The laws. The regulations. The need for insurance. The need for permits. The need for licenses. The taxes. The laws, the laws, the laws.
I burst out laughing at the claims that the government wants to provide incentives to small business owners, that they want to encourage entrepreneurs who will be creating new jobs.
They must not have taken a look at their own website.
There is nothing there but discouragement! The risks of starting a business are great enough without the government being the primary foe of the new business.
Need More School?
Oh no!
Test scores are falling!
American children score near the bottom of the heap in _________!
Drop-out rates are climbing!
The sky is falling!
I know. Here's what we'll do. We're obviously not teaching them enough. So longer school days! More school days! Start 'em at 5 instead of 6! No, wait -- start the kids at 4 instead of 5. No wait -- maybe they should start at age 3...
Barbara writes briefly about the news of what happened in some school districts where they decided to have four-day weeks instead of five-day weeks.
Homeschoolers are not surprised.
Test scores are falling!
American children score near the bottom of the heap in _________!
Drop-out rates are climbing!
The sky is falling!
I know. Here's what we'll do. We're obviously not teaching them enough. So longer school days! More school days! Start 'em at 5 instead of 6! No, wait -- start the kids at 4 instead of 5. No wait -- maybe they should start at age 3...
Barbara writes briefly about the news of what happened in some school districts where they decided to have four-day weeks instead of five-day weeks.
Homeschoolers are not surprised.
Today's Laugh
A farmer saw a huge campaign bus go by his corn field. Just as it went out of sight, he heard a huge crash and the bus hit a big oak tree. The farmer dashed down to the carnage and figured he would clean up the site. He buried all the dead politicians in a big hole beside the road.
When the bus failed to show up at its destination, a state police officer followed the bus's route. Subsequently the officer found the bus and the gravesite.
The farmer ambled out and told the officer how he heard the crash and thought it would be helpful to bury all the dead politicians. The state patrolman asked in astonishment, "Were they all dead? Everyone was dead??"
The farmer assured him, "Yeah, there were a lot of dead ones. There were also a few that claimed they were not dead, but you know how politicians lie."
When the bus failed to show up at its destination, a state police officer followed the bus's route. Subsequently the officer found the bus and the gravesite.
The farmer ambled out and told the officer how he heard the crash and thought it would be helpful to bury all the dead politicians. The state patrolman asked in astonishment, "Were they all dead? Everyone was dead??"
The farmer assured him, "Yeah, there were a lot of dead ones. There were also a few that claimed they were not dead, but you know how politicians lie."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Work: Paid or Unpaid
In the midst of some study on the Seventh Commandment ("You shall not steal") I ran across Paul's admonition in 2 Thessalonians 3 --
If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.
The commentary on this verse reminds us that generosity and charity is good. It is, however, not a good thing for Christians to give material goods to those who are impenitently slothful.
And that's where it stings.
I don't want to get a job. I don't want my daughters to have to get jobs when they are mommies, either. How can I obtain paid employment when I know it would mean abdicating so many of my responsibilities, leaving undone so much of the work that I now do (cooking, gardening, housework, homeschooling, volunteering, and more)?
I can tell myself with all reasonable logic that I do work. Friends and family try to assure me that I am not lazy. But there's that verse: "if you will not work, you shall not eat."
Boy, women's lib sure has re-focused our idea of work. We say that women should be free to choose a career instead of staying home with the family. But after 40+ years of women's lib, we all know that a woman who's not earning a paycheck isn't really working.
The consumerism of our country adds to this. The only work that counts is work that earns a paycheck. All the other women earn paychecks, and somehow they manage to get their laundry done and toss some supper on the table. You know the lines: "They've got their priorities straight. What's the matter with you stay-at-home moms that you put such a high priority on home-making? You can manage without."
How do we know when to set aside the work God has given us to do, and trade it in for work which pulls in a paycheck? Is it mistrust of God to quit the unpaid work you've been doing (the duties to which God has called you in your vocation) so as to earn an income, or is it laziness to continue to do the work that doesn't garner any cash?
If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.
The commentary on this verse reminds us that generosity and charity is good. It is, however, not a good thing for Christians to give material goods to those who are impenitently slothful.
And that's where it stings.
I don't want to get a job. I don't want my daughters to have to get jobs when they are mommies, either. How can I obtain paid employment when I know it would mean abdicating so many of my responsibilities, leaving undone so much of the work that I now do (cooking, gardening, housework, homeschooling, volunteering, and more)?
I can tell myself with all reasonable logic that I do work. Friends and family try to assure me that I am not lazy. But there's that verse: "if you will not work, you shall not eat."
Boy, women's lib sure has re-focused our idea of work. We say that women should be free to choose a career instead of staying home with the family. But after 40+ years of women's lib, we all know that a woman who's not earning a paycheck isn't really working.
The consumerism of our country adds to this. The only work that counts is work that earns a paycheck. All the other women earn paychecks, and somehow they manage to get their laundry done and toss some supper on the table. You know the lines: "They've got their priorities straight. What's the matter with you stay-at-home moms that you put such a high priority on home-making? You can manage without."
How do we know when to set aside the work God has given us to do, and trade it in for work which pulls in a paycheck? Is it mistrust of God to quit the unpaid work you've been doing (the duties to which God has called you in your vocation) so as to earn an income, or is it laziness to continue to do the work that doesn't garner any cash?
Today's Laugh
A woman went to the clinic for a problem. After a look at her health history and a discussion of the symptoms of her health problem, the doctor told her, "I think you're pregnant."
The horrified woman ran from the examination room screaming. She was stopped by a senior doctor who asked her what was wrong.
"That young doctor hardly even examined me and then told me I was pregnant. I am 67 years old! I can't be pregnant," she said.
The senior doctor quickly consulted with the young doctor about his horrendous diagnosis. The young doctor interjected, "Are her hiccups gone?"
The horrified woman ran from the examination room screaming. She was stopped by a senior doctor who asked her what was wrong.
"That young doctor hardly even examined me and then told me I was pregnant. I am 67 years old! I can't be pregnant," she said.
The senior doctor quickly consulted with the young doctor about his horrendous diagnosis. The young doctor interjected, "Are her hiccups gone?"
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
In Vigil
At anniversary time, we often recall the details of that day. For example, the oncology nurses who brought us trays of food. On the day that Dad died, we were sitting in his room at the hospital. We weren't leaving. The nurses would come in and check, "How are you doing? Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do for Hank or for you?" Nope. We were okay. But we didn't leave the room to go to the cafeteria. The nurses noticed. After a while, one of those sweet women came in with a tray of tea, water, cookies, and fresh fruit. Later in the afternoon, seeing that we still weren't leaving Dad's bedside, they came back with another tray containing light lunch foods.
On that last day, I remember thinking that I would not be able to explain to someone who asked, "WHY do you sit there? What sense does it make? What does it accomplish?" And yet, there was nothing else to do. Something deep inside us compelled us to be there, even if human reason said it was pointless.
Yesterday we attended Betty's funeral. In the sermon, Pastor mentioned how the family had lovingly and tenderly cared for Betty during those last days when her health took such a turn for the worse, how they had been with her at the end. He spoke of how it is a Christian thing to keep vigil at the bedside of a dying loved one. He spoke of the women at the foot of Jesus' cross. He spoke of standing beside those who suffer to share in their sufferings and to support them in the small way that we can. But mostly he spoke of a Savior who shared in our sufferings and stood beside us, taking our punishment upon Himself.
Oh. So that explains the compulsion to be there with your loved one. Oh.
On that last day, I remember thinking that I would not be able to explain to someone who asked, "WHY do you sit there? What sense does it make? What does it accomplish?" And yet, there was nothing else to do. Something deep inside us compelled us to be there, even if human reason said it was pointless.
Yesterday we attended Betty's funeral. In the sermon, Pastor mentioned how the family had lovingly and tenderly cared for Betty during those last days when her health took such a turn for the worse, how they had been with her at the end. He spoke of how it is a Christian thing to keep vigil at the bedside of a dying loved one. He spoke of the women at the foot of Jesus' cross. He spoke of standing beside those who suffer to share in their sufferings and to support them in the small way that we can. But mostly he spoke of a Savior who shared in our sufferings and stood beside us, taking our punishment upon Himself.
Oh. So that explains the compulsion to be there with your loved one. Oh.
Lessons for a New Gardener with Strawberries
They say you learn from your mistakes. Okay, here's what I've learned this year so far.
1. Strawberries need straw. Too many strawberries are being lost to their contact with the soil. Next year I must apply mulch of some sort in April.
2. Strawberries need air. I thought I thinned the berries. I just hate ripping out plants and pruning trees and thinning canes. Thinking back to how big (not!) the strawberry plants grew during their first summer (last year), I didn't realize they would grow so full and lush this year. Suffice it to say, I need to yank out a LOT more plants next May and leave plenty of space in the rows so that the plants don't overcrowd each other, which reduces fresh air and encourages rot.
Now, this is not to say that my strawberry patch is doing poorly. But oh, next year I want it to be so much better!
1. Strawberries need straw. Too many strawberries are being lost to their contact with the soil. Next year I must apply mulch of some sort in April.
2. Strawberries need air. I thought I thinned the berries. I just hate ripping out plants and pruning trees and thinning canes. Thinking back to how big (not!) the strawberry plants grew during their first summer (last year), I didn't realize they would grow so full and lush this year. Suffice it to say, I need to yank out a LOT more plants next May and leave plenty of space in the rows so that the plants don't overcrowd each other, which reduces fresh air and encourages rot.
Now, this is not to say that my strawberry patch is doing poorly. But oh, next year I want it to be so much better!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Agreeable to Change
Last week was a family reunion. Katie and Nathan and Alia traveled from Texas to attend. Occasionally (but rarely) Alia was a bit out of sorts. For the most part, though, it was a grand time for her. Plenty of people around to entertain her, to take her to the playground, to take her to the pool, to take her for a walk, to play chase or to rough-house. Sometimes it was hard for her to get to sleep in a strange bed. Sometimes she was over-tired and didn't want to come in from playing to nap. But overall, she adjusted really well.Especially when you consider that a 1-yr-old doesn't really understand the concept of "vacation." She left her home. She left her kitties. She left her toys. She was dragged out of bed at an unreasonably early hour, locked up in a car seat for the whole day, didn't know hardly any of the people she was thrown together with for the week, ... and it was okay! Not only okay, but good!
Now, how many of us would react that way?
We want to know what's going on. We want to know what's coming next. We're often discombobulated when we lose the stability of what's around us.
I would see Alia prancing around confidently and recall the movie Life Is Beautiful. Granted, Alia had fun stuff like swimming and slides and swings and cousins. But you know how kids can be about their routine. It struck me that our attitude was "Isn't this great?!?" And so Alia enjoyed the adventure even though it would have been easy enough to a kid to be cranky in the situation. She had her parents with her; her needs were met; what she had [to all appearances] lost (such as toys and pets) was not important enough to deter her from the things she gained.If only I could trust my heavenly Father when big changes (and even losses) come. If only I could, like Alia, just go with whatever comes rollin' along through life and accept it with joy.
Storing Kombucha Mushrooms
Before we left on vacation, I made three batches of kombucha to brew while we were gone. I could come home, refill the empties we drank on vacation, and start brewing again. I went to grab a mushroom today for the first new batch and discovered ... [gasp] ... no starter. And even a few dried-up mushrooms.
Apparently those mushrooms were hungry. So here's the deal: if you're planning to leave your mushrooms untended for a week, give them each at least 12-16 ounces of starter tea to keep them fed and moist until you return.
Apparently those mushrooms were hungry. So here's the deal: if you're planning to leave your mushrooms untended for a week, give them each at least 12-16 ounces of starter tea to keep them fed and moist until you return.
Frugal on the Soap
I took a bar of home-made soap with us on vacation last week. It got used up! In one week! It never does that at home.
The shower stall was arranged such that the built-in soap dish was right where the water hits. (Now who would build it like that? Somebody with lots of stock in Dial and Safeguard?)
At home we have soap dishes that attach to the wall with suction cups. (Something on the order of this thing.) I can sure tell a difference in how fast the soap disappears at home, depending on where the dish is placed on the wall of the shower.
Maybe I need to start carrying a dish with me when I leave home, and not just my own soap.
The shower stall was arranged such that the built-in soap dish was right where the water hits. (Now who would build it like that? Somebody with lots of stock in Dial and Safeguard?)
At home we have soap dishes that attach to the wall with suction cups. (Something on the order of this thing.) I can sure tell a difference in how fast the soap disappears at home, depending on where the dish is placed on the wall of the shower.
Maybe I need to start carrying a dish with me when I leave home, and not just my own soap.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Compost
If you've been composting --especially after the first year when you've had the chance to use that lovely black dirt-- but extenuating circumstances mean that you cannot put your kitchen scraps in the compost bin for a couple of days, ...
it just about kills you to throw all those wonderful nutrients (onion peels, watermelon rinds, bread crumbs, etc) into the trash, like as if it were garbage or something!
it just about kills you to throw all those wonderful nutrients (onion peels, watermelon rinds, bread crumbs, etc) into the trash, like as if it were garbage or something!
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
An Overfull Key-Ring
We have had to replace a couple of ignition cylinders on our cars. It's not cheap. Worse yet, it becomes darned inconvenient in figuring out which key opens the car door, which key opens the car trunk, and which key turns on the engine.
The mechanic recently pointed out something to me. He said our key-rings are often so full of keys that the weight wears out our ignition cylinders too fast. The key is not sitting in the ignition completely straight because all those other keys are pulling down on one end of the car key. And then there's the exaggerated bounciness that results from the clump of weight's motion as we are going around corners or over not-quite-smooth roads. The mechanic said that keeping your key-ring small and light (or keeping your car keys on a separate key ring) should prevent your need for new ignition cylinders.
Wow! A small life-style change to gain a big savings later!
The mechanic recently pointed out something to me. He said our key-rings are often so full of keys that the weight wears out our ignition cylinders too fast. The key is not sitting in the ignition completely straight because all those other keys are pulling down on one end of the car key. And then there's the exaggerated bounciness that results from the clump of weight's motion as we are going around corners or over not-quite-smooth roads. The mechanic said that keeping your key-ring small and light (or keeping your car keys on a separate key ring) should prevent your need for new ignition cylinders.
Wow! A small life-style change to gain a big savings later!
Monday, June 07, 2010
Leap Year
Cute movie! It's a romantic comedy that follows a typical story-line of how being together creates affection and love. (This frequently prods Gary into commenting on the harm that comes from men and women in the same workplace, spending all day together instead of with their spouses. And these kinds of story-lines frequently prod me into commenting about why/how arranged marriages actually worked.)
But anyway, the reason I mention this movie is because, when it was over, Andrew said, "That was a really clean movie!" And when I thought back, I realized how right he was. Clean, funny, and good. "Leap Year" would be one I'd recommend to my mom ... assuming she could get a copy with closed-captioning. (With the Irish accents in the movie, sometimes I missed dialogue.)
But anyway, the reason I mention this movie is because, when it was over, Andrew said, "That was a really clean movie!" And when I thought back, I realized how right he was. Clean, funny, and good. "Leap Year" would be one I'd recommend to my mom ... assuming she could get a copy with closed-captioning. (With the Irish accents in the movie, sometimes I missed dialogue.)
Friday, June 04, 2010
Would Not Hear the Prophets
Our chapel stories this week have been about Stephen. In his final sermon, Stephen told about when Moses attempted to break up the fight between two Hebrew men, trying to reconcile them.
But he who did his neighbor wrong pushed him away, saying, "Who made you a ruler and judge over us?" (Acts 7:27)
Pastor pointed out how they "pushed him away." God sends a redeemer, a prophet, a reconciler, a savior. And how did they respond? They pushed him away.
But God didn't renege on the promise He made to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Moses still brought them out of slavery. In the wilderness, the children of Israel continued to push Moses away. Still the Lord stayed faithful to them for the sake of His promise. Then came the time of the judges. Then their desire for a king. And all the while, the people pushed away the prophets God sent.
But still He sent His Son. "Surely they will respect My Son" (Matthew 21:37).
Or not.
But still He remains faithful.
PS: It is really interesting to listen to that sermon while you're thinking about it from Paul's perspective. After all, Paul was there. A ring-leader. A murderer. Saul of Tarsus heard Stephen's sermon and hated it. But he was the one who was the eye-witness, the one who told the story to Luke to record. Amazing to listen to this sermon through Paul's eyes, seeing how some of what he wrote to the Corinthians he first heard from Stephen in this sermon! God's word will not return to Him void but will accomplish the purpose for which He sent it.
But he who did his neighbor wrong pushed him away, saying, "Who made you a ruler and judge over us?" (Acts 7:27)
Pastor pointed out how they "pushed him away." God sends a redeemer, a prophet, a reconciler, a savior. And how did they respond? They pushed him away.
But God didn't renege on the promise He made to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Moses still brought them out of slavery. In the wilderness, the children of Israel continued to push Moses away. Still the Lord stayed faithful to them for the sake of His promise. Then came the time of the judges. Then their desire for a king. And all the while, the people pushed away the prophets God sent.
But still He sent His Son. "Surely they will respect My Son" (Matthew 21:37).
Or not.
But still He remains faithful.
PS: It is really interesting to listen to that sermon while you're thinking about it from Paul's perspective. After all, Paul was there. A ring-leader. A murderer. Saul of Tarsus heard Stephen's sermon and hated it. But he was the one who was the eye-witness, the one who told the story to Luke to record. Amazing to listen to this sermon through Paul's eyes, seeing how some of what he wrote to the Corinthians he first heard from Stephen in this sermon! God's word will not return to Him void but will accomplish the purpose for which He sent it.
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Beautiful Bowlfuls
Nearly a gallon.
And I only worked my way through 2/3 of the patch today.
And this is just the start!
Woo hooo!
I was editing some material on the First Article of the Creed the other day -- about how it is only through God's mercy in Christ's atonement that we can enjoy any of the good gifts God gives. And I'm thinkin', in the strawberry patch this afternoon, if God can give strawberries this abundantly, and if strawberries ain't nothin' compared to being with Him in heaven, then it's pretty hard to wrap your mind around how bountiful are His blessings! I'm just pretty excited about strawberries!
And I only worked my way through 2/3 of the patch today.
And this is just the start!Woo hooo!
I was editing some material on the First Article of the Creed the other day -- about how it is only through God's mercy in Christ's atonement that we can enjoy any of the good gifts God gives. And I'm thinkin', in the strawberry patch this afternoon, if God can give strawberries this abundantly, and if strawberries ain't nothin' compared to being with Him in heaven, then it's pretty hard to wrap your mind around how bountiful are His blessings! I'm just pretty excited about strawberries!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Garden Report
Ate one strawberry yesterday. Gary picked four this morning. Looks like they'll be starting in heavy by the end of the week. Gary and I dug out walking space in the strawberry bed. A week or two ago it looked like there was plenty of space for your feet and your bottom while picking. But boy, the plants have really bushed out. Note for next year: much much bigger foot paths in the bed.
Just beginning to see some flowers on the raspberries.
Not one cilantro seed has germinated, neither the rows I planted mid-April or mid-May. I'm buying a fresher pack of seeds and trying again.
Planted cucumbers, green beans, hubbard squash, and carrots yesterday.
How hard should it be to turn on the sprinkler? C'mon. It's a sprinkler, for cryin' out loud. It's not rocket science. How come it can take me an hour to get that blasted thing turned on and working? Last week I gave up and bought a new one. While at the hardware store, I saw the same brand I bought late last summer (the one that's driving me bonkers). It has a life-time guarantee. So I thought I'd check with the company about replacing it. But first, I tried running the old sprinkler again. It ran perfectly. And again a couple of days later, it ran without a hitch. I returned the unused new one to the store. The next day, the sprinkler-with-a-demon decided to pull its stunts again. I cried. (PS: I finally threw it down in frustration, hoping that a good whack might knock something loose. Guess what? It did. I finally got the plants and seeds wet.)
Question: have y'all found hoeing to be as effective as yanking out the weeds by the roots? I think it's good to pull out the weeds. But if I can't keep up, better to hoe than to let the boogers keep growing, right? If I hoe, do I have to tackle the weeds two or three times as often as if I yank 'em out by the roots? Or does hoeing kill 'em good-&-dead?
Just beginning to see some flowers on the raspberries.
Not one cilantro seed has germinated, neither the rows I planted mid-April or mid-May. I'm buying a fresher pack of seeds and trying again.
Planted cucumbers, green beans, hubbard squash, and carrots yesterday.
How hard should it be to turn on the sprinkler? C'mon. It's a sprinkler, for cryin' out loud. It's not rocket science. How come it can take me an hour to get that blasted thing turned on and working? Last week I gave up and bought a new one. While at the hardware store, I saw the same brand I bought late last summer (the one that's driving me bonkers). It has a life-time guarantee. So I thought I'd check with the company about replacing it. But first, I tried running the old sprinkler again. It ran perfectly. And again a couple of days later, it ran without a hitch. I returned the unused new one to the store. The next day, the sprinkler-with-a-demon decided to pull its stunts again. I cried. (PS: I finally threw it down in frustration, hoping that a good whack might knock something loose. Guess what? It did. I finally got the plants and seeds wet.)
Question: have y'all found hoeing to be as effective as yanking out the weeds by the roots? I think it's good to pull out the weeds. But if I can't keep up, better to hoe than to let the boogers keep growing, right? If I hoe, do I have to tackle the weeds two or three times as often as if I yank 'em out by the roots? Or does hoeing kill 'em good-&-dead?
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