A Story: The Dark Night of the Soul

One Tuesday evening twenty-some years ago, I sat in a classroom at the seminary with about 100 other women.  The sem offered mini-classes for wives, and this one was crowded because it was being led by a popular teacher.  One of the wives brought up her fear for the rest of us.  You see, according to her, the rest of us weren't really Christians.  We hadn't really turned our lives over to Jesus.  We hadn't really made Him lord of our lives.  She knew what we were like because she used to be one of us, thinking that she was a Christian.  But then, ah, then, she had a conversion experience, you see.  She wanted us to realize our dire straits so that we too might Make A Decision For Jesus and thus be saved.

Her proof-text for all this was from Matthew 7: "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven....  I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, all you who practice lawlessness.'"  She accused the whole class of being the ones who thought they were doing the Lord's work but who would be surprised at the end of the world when Jesus says, "Get lost; I never knew you."

I remember well how the teacher/pastor let her keep talking.  I remember well how he said somberly, "Yes, that passage frightens me.  How do I know if I am the one to whom Jesus will say, 'Depart from Me'?"  I remember well how that evening terrified me.

For three weeks, life was hell.  I knew I couldn't pray for help.  After all, God only hears the prayers of Christians, and I obviously was not a Christian.  I don't think I talked to Gary about it at the time; it would be shameful to tell him about it.  I was afraid of death, afraid of a freak car accident or whatever might suddenly kill a 20-something gal.  Death meant an eternity in hell; I wasn't a Christian.  I was trapped in my imperfection.  I had no hope.  There was nothing I could do to ensure that I was living up to God's standards.  Nothing I could do to ensure His wrath would not zot me to hell. 

Then, blessedly, this came up, somehow, in a conversation with our pastor.  Tom Baker [no, not Four, and not Puddleglum, but the pastor] lavished the Gospel upon me.  He told me that Jesus was the one who baptized me.  He told me that God chose me, that I couldn't choose Him.  He told me that Jesus' death on the cross forgives my sin.  He kept telling me and telling me and telling me, forgiving me, blessing me, pointing me to Christ and His work instead of ro my navel-gazing.  I suppose it might have been a little like Luther's tower experience.  "You mean He forgives me?  Me?  But it really is true that I'm as sinful and unbelieving as this 'holy' woman accused.  And still, Jesus forgives me???"

Today I can see how God worked good through that hellish situation.  What the devil means for destruction, God uses to draw needy people to Himself.  I have had to learn again and again what Pastor Baker gave me that day, that week, that month.  Yes, the accusations of Satan (and that sem wife) on that horrible Tuesday night so long ago, ... the accusations are true.  But truer yet --and oh so much bigger-- is my Savior's love for me and His blood shed to save me. 





Through the years I wondered how the teacher could stand in front of class and allow that woman's accusations to stand unanswered.  Through the years I wondered if he too had been damned by her words.   Was the pastor so full of doubts that he could not defend the scores of women in the room that night?  Had someone come to him later with the good news of the forgiveness of sins?  Had someone brought him the peace that Pastor Baker brought to me?  How sad it would be to "hope"* that Jesus' righteousness would cover you, while continuing in the uncertainty that Jesus might instead announce on the Last Day, "I never knew you."

 *Footnote: Sometimes "hope" means

 a sure and certain hope, something 

that is incontrovertible.  But too often

 "hope" means merely wishful thinking.

In Christ Jesus 

we have boldness

and access  

with confidence

through faith in Him.   (Eph 3)

Gobs of Tables

Today is garbage pick-up.

So we're driving to chapel this morning, and I see a table out with the neighbor's trash.   I was gripped by an overwhelming urge to brake and turn around and nab that table!

Maggie didn't understand.  She doesn't remember Nanna's basement.  Nobody in my family ever bought tables.  We just took one from the stash in my grandma's basement.  Why she had a penchant for collecting tables, I do not know.  But she did.

And as revealed by this morning's fight with myself over "To dumpster-dive, or not to dumpster-dive?  That is the question," there must be a smidge of Nanna's need-for-tables in my genetic make-up.

Loving the Beautiful People?

He has no form or comeliness.
And when we see Him, 
there is no beauty that we should desire Him.
He is despised and rejected by men,
a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  (Isaiah 53)

Oh, so if there were beauty, 
then maybe we would desire Him.

In other words, 
we desire what pleases us, 

what makes us happy, 

what is beautiful to us.

"Well, DUH," you say. 

"Who desires what's despicable?" you say.

Oh.

Yeah.

There is One who does.

How weird!

How blessedly weird!

And amazingly, that weird, unearned love makes the ugly one beautiful. 

Demon Possession

"Can a Christian be demon possessed?"  I've lost count of how many times I've heard people ask that question.  And this week I heard a most awesome answer.

Christians can and will be attacked by the demons.  That's not possession; it's an attack.  A person may wonder if it's demon-possession.  It may feel the same.  It may appear to be the same.  But in the end, does it matter if we know whether it's an attack or possession?  After all, the remedy is the same thing: "Depart, you unclean spirit, and make room for the Holy Spirit!" ... and then the comfort of the forgiveness of sins for Jesus' sake is applied to the afflicted one.

How awesome is that?!

Devotions

"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Thy praise."

Is that really so difficult to say?

I recently attended a gathering.  The devotions had no invocation, no versicles, no creed, no hymn, no psalms, no canticles.  The devotions started with a religious reading, followed by a prayer.  You'd think we could have at least prayed the Lord's Prayer.  (Jesus did say, after all, "When you pray, say 'Our Father....'")

We've been reading John Kleinig's book Grace Upon Grace for Bible class this fall.  In it, he talks about how God's people are made holy by things like the invocation, creed, Our Father, and the benediction.  As I read that section of the book, I reflected on how impotent we think those words are.  They seem silly to most of us.  They seem little.  They seem like the same-old-same-old. 

And then you throw together more than a hundred Christians, and we pray, and I feel cheated (yes, cheated!) that we can't even say "In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."  We can't have someone read a psalm to which we can respond with the Gloria Patri.  We can't confess the Faith together -- "I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth...." 

Really, dear pastors.  God gave you the words to say.  You can find them in the book.  He ordered you to speak them for my comfort, for my strengthening, for my life.  Would you please just say them?!

Jereboam's Sign

The man of God was sent to Israel to prophesy to King Jereboam (1 Kings 13).  The Lord told the prophet not to eat or drink while he was there.  When the king invited him to stay for lunch, the prophet said no.  When a false prophet invited him for lunch, the Lord's prophet said no.  But then the false prophet scammed him, saying that the Lord had had sent a message for the guy to stay and eat after all.  So the prophet did.  I feel for the guy in the story.  He'd done the hard job of reporting bad news to the king. He'd already said "no thanks" a couple of times.  Then he listened when someone lied to him.  I can sympathize with his reticence to being rude to the men of Israel.

Still, he died.
The Lord said "Don't eat while you're there."
He ate.  He died.

It seems like such a small thing he did wrong.

But this is a sign to Jereboam.  Death was the result when Adam and Eve turned from God's word.  Because we forget those stories of ancient history, God gave a fresh sign to Jereboam: "Act contrary to the good word I have given you, and it will result in death."  If such a small disobedience resulted in the prophet's death, how could Jereboam ever hope to escape death for leading God's people into idolatry and false worship?  What God says will surely come to pass.

Darned Allergies

I polluted my body today.  Attending a conference, I consumed a cup of coffee (with sugar), a cup of tea (with sugar), some white-bread noodles with lunch (although I had the sense to skip the white-bread sandwich), store-mayo on the cole slaw, a delectable clam chowder (sigh -- dairy, of course), two bites of cake, a small Pepsi, a handful of white-bread pretzels, and two glasses of beer.   And I failed to take my enzymes with lunch.

Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!

At least I had the self-control to NOT guzzle sweet-tea all afternoon and to keep my hands off the candy-bars.

Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!

So this is why I bother to take my vitamins, drink my kombucha, take my enzymes, bake my whole-grain-laden brown bread, mix my own salad dressings, etc.  All that dag-blasted effort I put into eating right must make a difference after all.  One brief day of minor indulgences and this is how much I itch and sneeze?!

Tomorrow I will do better.

I hope.

A Cascade Effect

It's common for those with some level of monetary security (even though it's not wealth) to look down on those without.  I remember years ago when Rush would dispute the line, "There, but for the grace of God, go I."  He had a point.  It does matter that people rein in their spending and that they work hard and make good decisions.

But what I've been noticing is how bad situations multiply.  Also, how good situations multiply.  It's like there's a spiral, going up or going down.  It's like there's momentum in one direction, momentum that can be slowed or increased, but which is very hard to reverse entirely.

A person may have been in a devastating car accident.  A woman may have been abandoned by her husband, with children to care for.  Maybe a house fire.  Maybe cancer or some other disease.  Maybe a house that turns out to be termite-infested or full of mold.  Sure, bad things happen, and people can (and do) work hard to rise above the circumstances.  But when there are ongoing health problems, it makes it harder to obtain work and advance in the company.  When there are financial problems, there's that much less money available, and so maybe a person can't take advantage of a good deal when it pops up.

And in the same way, good situations feed off themselves.  Maybe a teenager can find a good job because the parents have connections.  If there's extra money, it can go toward investments, or toward paying off a house (or buying the next car with cash) so that less is wasted on interest.  A person with good health can expend the effort and ability to do things that not only save money but also increase well-being; consider older folks who cannot shovel their own walks or clean their own gutters and what it will cost them to hire someone to handle those chores. In this society, a person with nice clothes and pretty looks will face different opportunities than those with haggard and grizzled appearance.

Katie was telling us today how some of the people Nathan runs into at work look down on those who have less.  Katie was listening to moms at the library who are pleased that one of them found a maid who will work for very little money.  In both cases, it was like the poorer people deserved what they got.  And it is true that poor choices will often result in uncomfortable results while responsible choices may result in more freedom.  But certainly not always! 

What are people supposed to do when they're stuck on the downward spiral?  Can we intervene in others' bad-momentum and slow it or reverse it?

The Sun's Bedtime

Last time Pastor went to Scandinavia to preach, he came back and reported to Bible class about his trip.  They were there in early summer; the sun wasn't down for long overnight, and the nights didn't get dark-dark.  I thought it was tremendously interesting that he mentioned how they didn't get tired.  It would get to be midnight or later, and they would notice the clock which told them how late it was.  But their bodies didn't tell them.

The sun is setting earlier and earlier.  And I am so sleepy.  I need naps on the days I'm not at work.  On days I don't nap, I'm yawning away by 7:00 and struggling not to nod off by 8:00 or so.

If this is virus-fighting, I should be giving in and sleeping, letting my body use its reserves to fight the germies.  If this is "the sun went to bed so I should too" I probably ought to be fighting my desire to laze (and popping more D3 capsules).  The trick is figuring out which is which.

Baptismal Pooping

What is it with my kids?  "Receive the sign of the holy cross," and some water connected to "I forgive you all your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost" ... and they filled their diapers to overflowing.* 

Twenty-three years ago today my baby spent the church service wrapped in a kitchen towel.  You'd have thought, by this point, that on a baptism Sunday I'd tuck a change of clothes into the diaper bag.  But no.  I forgot.  And Paul outpooped the poops of all his older sibs.  After the baptism rite, I bathed the other end of the kid, snagging a dish towel from the kitchen drawer so he wouldn't be cold and naked.

Also on this day 23 years ago we sang "Oh, How Great Is Thy Compassion" for the baptism hymn.  Pastor Wieting initially thought it was the oddest request he'd ever had for a baptism hymn.  Really?  "And in our deep degradation, Thou hadst mercy so that we might be saved eternally." Ah, yes, it works just dandy as a baptism hymn.  I'll sing it again today.  Maybe others in the family will too.


* Except for the two youngest. 

Bronchitis Treatment? Or Coincidence?

Salt water from a neti-pot can clean out sinuses.  Salt-water gargles can soothe a sore throat and wash away excess mucus from the throat.

Monday night I was wishing so bad for a "neti pot" that could wash snot out of bronchial tubes and the lungs. 

For some reason, it crossed my mind that hot, moist compresses might help.  Soaking in a hot tub might do something, but that's not long enough.  So I placed a wrung-out hot washcloth at the base of my neck, covered it with a heating pad, used a wide Ace-bandage to strap the heating pad to my upper chest, turned it on, and went to bed.  (Okay.  Okay.  I know the instructions that come with the heating pad say you should NEVER sleep with the heating pad on.  It's a fire hazard.  Or you could burn yourself.  I'm sure they're right.  I was a bad bad person to go to sleep with the heating pad turned on.)

About three hours later, I woke up, coughing.  I spent an hour --an entire hour-- disturbing Gary's sleep mightily, coughing and coughing and coughing up mucus and snot-balls.  It was disgusting!!  But amazingly, by morning my chest was no longer tight.  It's not like I was done coughing for the next two days, but my health was much better than I'd expected it to be.

So was it a coincidence?  Or shall I try it again (bad bad bad to use a heating pad this way) next time a cold tries to settle in my bronchial tubes?  My logic is that we use moist heat to draw infection such as in a stye or an abscess or in mastitis or in boils.  Maybe the moist heat drew the infection together so that it could be coughed out? 

Shhhh -- The tricky part is going to 

be my trying to remember this little 

experiment next time my bronchial 

tubes get clogged.

Poll-Worker Training

Okay, so maybe I'm just kinda sorta, a-little-bit maybe, intimidated.

I went to training this afternoon for those of us who work the elections.  Voter-ID was shot down by a Madison judge.  So today we talked about what proves identity, what we can and cannot ask for, as well as what proves residency.  [Mind ... spinning....]  Since the poll-workers in our group really seemed to care about the integrity of an election (that is, everybody having his vote counted, and only one vote counted per person) there were lots of questions.  "Wait!  You don't mean to say ...."???   Same-day voter-registration is fraught with problems!

We know that turnout will be exceptionally high for next month's election.  At the end of the training session, one of the poll-workers asked just how high a turnout the clerks anticipate.  They said "high 90s."  HIGH NINETIES?!  They told us that our county had the highest turnout rate in the country for the last presidential election.  It sounds like it could be a very long day.

Write-ins?  Do you know how much longer that makes a poll-worker's day?  We have to be there a minimum of 15 hours as-is.  Every write-in ballot makes the day longer, as we have to record them by hand. 

One of the poll-workers reported that she had received phone calls at home, asking if she usually voted absentee or in person, and what time she would be voting.  She was horrified.  Why would anybody want that information unless they were scheming to submit absentee ballots in the name of other voters, bumping their votes? 

They told us that there would be "observers."  I don't know if one side or both will be there to observe.  But some of the poll-workers are aware that at least one campaign is training observers to be there to watch closely.  We were taught what observers can and cannot do.  We were warned that out-of-state "observers" will sometimes cause conflict, suggesting voting irregularities because different states do have different laws.  (For instance, one time I was registering voters, and I had a 17-yr-old come to vote.  He wasn't trying to scam anybody or hide his age.  The state they'd recently moved from allowed 17-yr-olds to vote in the primary if they'd be 18 by election day.  He and his brother and his dad initially thought I was disenfranchising the teenager.  Nope.  Wisconsin law doesn't allow that.)

Military votes can come in via online or email ballots.  That will be interesting.

I think I better make a crockpot of substantial soup to take with me that day. And hearty bread.  And beverages.  And cookies.  

What a chance to say HI to all the neighbors!

Dairy-Free Tomato Soup

Saute in some olive oil:
1 onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1-3 tsp hot pepper, minced (may substitute a pinch of red pepper flakes)
until onion is transluscent.

Add:
2 quarts of canned tomatoes (or about 4# of fresh tomatoes, chopped)
1 bay leaf

Bring to boil.  Then add:
1 Tbsp brown sugar
3 slices of bread (or 1-2 oz of soda crackers)

Continue to boil over medium heat for about 5 minutes.
In small batches, put soup through blender to puree.

In saucepan, bring 1 pint of chicken broth to a boil.
Add tomato-smoosh to broth. Heat through.
Adjust seasonings with salt, black pepper, and other spices of choice.

If soup is too thick, water it down with water (for those who must avoid dairy) or with whole milk.





Hat tip to Sue's blog. 
Thanks for the yummy suggestion!

The Conundrum of Healthy Eating

When you most need the good food,
when you most need to avoid store-bought products with their additives,
when you most need vitamin-packed whole foods,

is when you're sick or weak
and cannot prepare the usual wellness-instilling fare.

Red Leaves

Katie and the girls walked to the library yesterday.  Katie tells about the 3-yr-old's trip on her blog.  But I didn't see 1-yr-old's tale written anywhere yet. 

So Zoe had a brown, dry leaf that she could carry.  After a while, she dropped it.  When she noticed that she no longer had her leaf, the barely-talking child indicates to Mom that her leaf had gone missing.  She needed help.  So Katie picks up a red leaf and hands it to Zoe.

Zoe looks at the red leaf and says, "Hot!  Hot!" in that way babies do. "Hwwwwhhwww; hhwwwwhhww!" she blows to cool it.

I don't know about you.

But I think that's pretty

good deductive reasoning.

Wrong.  But good thinking!

President Hamilton

A local high school is celebrating its 50th anniversary.  This week's newspaper contains a history of the school district.  In 1959 or '60, a contest was held for naming the new school.  One person suggested naming "Hamilton High School after President Alexander Hamilton."

So now we wonder: Is this what they're teaching the kids in the public school?  That the school is named after President Hamilton?  Or was this just the newspaper's own botch-up?

Don't you wish this were a joke?

FALL Flowers?

Goldenrod and wild asters.  Mums and fall roses.  Wildly red sumac.  Yup.  Sounds like September and October.

But daisies and sunflowers?  Tender young milk weed and new Queen Anne's lace?  Dandelions and bird's-foot trefoil?  And a profusion of wild snapdragons, like I've never seen before!

Not sure what to make of this crazy weather....

Oh, Those Children and Their Comments!

So after chapel each day, the headmaster talks to the student body.  Today there were some geography questions in preparation for December's geography bee.  But the initial question was whether anyone knew the location of last night's presidential debate. 

First guess: North Carolina.

Second guess:  Well, not really a guess.  First-grader Cole starts talking about the debate, and how it was "between Barak Obama and ... and ... and ... uh ...  well ... and ... uh ... well, that OTHER guy, y'know, the one we're cheering for."

(Lots of quiet snickering ensued from the adults.)

And What "Issues, Etc" Said

Pastor Bender was on IE today, talking about his Monday night fun: singing at Wrigley.

Close of the Commandments

"Punishing the children ... to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me."  Unfortunately, I always imagine this with a wagging finger and a scolding tone.

"But showing mercy to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep My commandments."  It was recently pointed out to me the difference in numbers.  "Third and fourth" versus "a thousand." 

How overwhelming is the mercy in comparison to the punishment!

Pastor Bender at Wrigley

Rachel took video last night from the stands, and hers turned out well too.  But John (Pastor's son) was down on the field, so this is the close-up version.

For those who haven't heard the story:
As part of our 50th anniversary celebration, the congregation attended a Cubs/Brewers game.  Brewers won; Cubs lost.  But Josh Vitters hit his first major league home-run that night ... right into our section of the bleachers.  The church janitor was the one who nabbed the ball, and he handed it to Pastor, who is a loyal Cubs fan.  (He jokes that it's very Lutheran to be a Cubs fan, you see.  It's all about the theology of the cross.)  When the Cubs approached him, asking what they could offer to encourage him to return the memorable ball to Mr Vitters, Pastor said he wanted to sing the National Anthem at a home game.  They'd never been asked that before.  But they agreed to try to make it happen.  And when they heard his audition tape, they gave him the opportunity.  And here he is ...

Sunbeam Mixer

For years I had a KitchenAid mixer.  I loved it.  It beat my cookies, kneaded my bread, and whipped up birthday cakes. When my standard-sized mixer died after about 15 years, we bought a larger one that could handle enough bread dough to make two full-sized whole-wheat loaves.  When the motor began to shed metal shavings, we knew the bigger machine wouldn't have the longevity of the older, regular-sized machine.  But we let it keep grinding away. 

In April it died.  Good-n-dead.

Option A:  Buy a replacement for $500.
Option B:  Buy a Bosch, which has a reputation for being a multi-decade machine-of-durability.  But that's more expensive yet.
Option C:  Buy a standard KitchenAid, which is $200 if you can find one on Craigslist or wait until the pre-Christmas sales. 

Y'know, if I believed that a machine would actually last 10-15 years or more (!), I might find a way to afford a new one.  But at the rate things are going, I'm not sure I can count on more than 5-8 years, and possibly less.  As a stop-gap measure while I decided what to do (or maybe as I waited until the pre-Christmas sales) I decided to buy a hand-mixer.

At Fleet-Farm I found a Sunbeam Heritage mixer* for thirty bucks.  It has whips, beaters, and dough hooks, powered by a pretty decent motor. When I first bought it, Maggie was at a loss.  She'd never operated a hand mixer before.  It took a while to figure out the machine.  We needed to slightly tweak how we made bread, as the mixer didn't have enough power to knead 8 cups of ww flour.  Because the bowl doesn't spin itself, you have to bother to hang onto the mixer and move the beaters around the bowl [gasp].  And yes, it can even make cookies, not just breads.  As an added bonus, we can whip the mashed potatoes instead of just smashing them up with the potato masher -- yummy.  As I was running $30-50 per year for my KitchenAid's depreciation costs, it looks like I'll be ahead if my little Sunbeam mixer lasts me just one year.

I wish I could have confidence that the quality of merchandise would be better if I forked over more money for a reputable brand known for quality and longevity.  But I don't.  So for now, I will just ask God to give me decent tools, and see what He provides.  Over the past five months, this Sunbeam has gone far beyond my expectations.





* I'm suspecting it may have been discontinued, as it's no longer available on the Sunbeam site, is expensive on Amazon, and is down to $22 at Fleet-Farm.

Matthew 6:25

Do not worry about your life, 
what you will eat or what you will drink;
nor about your body, what you will put on.
Is not life more than food 
and the body more than clothing?

It was pointed out in Sunday School opening this week that, in the Church, we eat something.  And we drink something.  And we put on something, something --Someone-- more than mere food and more than mere clothing.

Matthew 6:25

Try looking at a crucifix while reciting our memory verse for the week:  "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"

Jesus on the cross.  What does He have to eat or to drink?  Nothing.  Neither does He clothing.  He won't even hang onto His life for much longer.  But ...

He is life.

 

Pay Attention, People!

Early during choir rehearsal, the director enjoins us to focus, to pay attention, to knock off the chatter, etc.

Later, the choir director [in an ADD moment] grabs a music stand, shifts it to a spot in front of his mother, and suggests that she can put her music there when her hand tremors get bad.  It will hold her music without shaking.  And she can put her small water bottle there.  And hey, she can put her teeth/dentures there too.

A moment later, he strikes a chord on the piano so that we can start singing the next stanza.  Virtually nobody starts singing.   "Hey!  Focus!  People, pay attention!  Why can't you focus?" 


We laugh.

Sprouts

During late summer's fresh-tomato season, Maggie and I made a lot of alfalfa sprouts and a few tries at other sprouts.  Years ago, when I first heard about making sprouts, people made it sound like rocket science, with pitfalls hiding here, there, and everywhere.  But I found that it's easy-breezy when you have a screen lid for a wide-mouth canning jar.

Place a tablespoon or two of seeds in a one-quart jar.  Add water and soak for 12-24 hours.  Drain.  Rinse well with water and drain immediately, 2-4 times a day for a few days.  Keep the jar covered with a thin cloth so that the little seeds think they're in the dark. 

Screen lids are available online if you can't find them available at a health food store nearby.  I haven't tried the plastic ones (available for purchase, or the ones you cut out of plastic embroidery canvas) but it just seems too closed for airflow to me.  I have not had luck with making my own screen lids out of window-screen from the hardware store (too floppy) or using cheesecloth (doesn't allow enough water to drain off cleanly).  There are, however, instructions online for making a lid out of a spatter-screen for a skillet.  As those are available at dollar-stores, it might work well. 

Although it takes only a few seconds at a time to tend to the sprouts, you do have to rinse them at least twice a day.  If you're going to be gone for a few days, don't start them yet; the poor little sprouts will just dry out and shrivel up.  The biggest trick is remembering to rinse: we put an index card by the kitchen sink (where we see it often!) with a note to "rinse sprouts."  Pretty soon we'll have more batches started and enjoy loading up our sandwiches with sprouts.  Avocado, onion, tomato, cheese, sprouts, maybe some thin-sliced meat....  Yummy!

Freedom of the Gospel, and Power of the Gospel

In Kleinig's Grace Upon Grace, he talks about the power of prayer.  "Only if we begin and end with our spiritual weakness can we safely appreciate the true power of prayer" (page 193).  "When we pray, we do not tap our latent spiritual potential, nor do we even exercise the power that we possess by virtue of our Baptism or conversion" (pages 193-194).

He says it's not about the power Christians have been given in their regeneration.  Even though we have been called "God's sons," even though we have been declared holy, even though we have the Holy Spirit working within us, our "power" is not ours; it is something we receive, not something we possess.  We are weak.  Really really weak.

On a related note, it makes me wonder about those who sputter objections about "too much Gospel."  Some people keep bringing us back to the Law; they want "enough Law" to be preached so that Christians will be encouraged to do good works.  It sounds like they think we are able to harness some power within us to Be Good.

It makes me wonder if such people do not themselves know the freedom of the Gospel and the power of the Gospel.  Maybe they think "all that Gospel" cannot possibly "work" because they cannot begin to conceive of people actually doing good except to earn a reward or avoid a punishment.  But if a person believes in the Law, if a person lives by the Law, then it's no surprise that he would think the Law is where we find our motivation.

Discerning the Lord's Body

Pastor Stuckwisch writes about the importance of discerning the Lord's body and blood in the Sacrament.  In the article, he points out things that pastors can do (beyond what they say) to help the parishioners understand that this cup and this bread IS Jesus' blood and His body.

I remember the friend who told me that some in his congregation complained that he elevated the host at the Pax Domini, and that he knelt at the altar.  "Pastor," they said with a little bit of derision, "you act like it's really Jesus there."

Ummm...

How does a person respond to that?  "Exactly"?

Who Needs to Listen to the Lord?

Pastor has been pointing out in stories how often people know what the Lord says, know that it's true, and yet keep acting in opposition.  This happened over and over again in the stories of King Saul.  He knew that David had been anointed by the Lord.  And yet he was determined to get rid of David and make sure his own sons were lined up to be the next king.  He knew what God said; he knew it was true; and yet he had no intention of listening to it.

Another example is 2 Samuel 3.  Abner (who had been the commander of Saul's army) had fought against David all along, as Saul pursued David.  Saul died.  Abner set up Saul's son as king, in opposition to David's kingship.  Abner fought against David.  Then, lo and behold, Abner got ticked at Ishbosheth (Saul's son who was ruling Israel) and said in verse 9 that God should zot him [Abner]  if he doesn't go and help set up David as king over all Israel "as the Lord has sworn to him." 

Seriously?  Abner knew all along that the Lord had sworn to give the kingdom to David.  And still he was scheming, warring, and rebelling.  He thought he would thwart GOD? 

Yup.
(Ain't it amazing that we can be so dense?)
(And why is it so easy to see when it's other people doing it?)

Canning Circus

I may never can again.

Things did not go well when I attempted to put up some incredible chili last week.   So yesterday I made chili and froze it.   The goal for today was to can either salsa or plain tomatoes.  Taking the lazy way out I decided to can the tomatoes plain.  However, it failed to be "the lazy way."

1.  Accident with the pressure canner which was supposed to be doubling as a water bath.  Boiling water.  Exploded.  On me.  (Lots of cold showers and many applications of fresh aloe mean that I ended up with only a few blistered areas.  The treatments resulted in most places settling down to bad first-degree burns.)

2.  Broken handle on the canner lid when it hit the floor.

3.  Lots of water all over the floor.  When the shower was colder than I could stand, I'd get out and would make attempts to mop up the kitchen's puddles.

4.  Then Maggie accidentally dumped the mop bucket.  All the water from the canning accident --plus the water that had been in the bucket from mopping earlier-- was back on the floor.  I'm glad I could laugh at that instead of cry.

5.  One of the canning jars broke.  The canner was full of tomatoes floating around in the canning water. 

6.  Water boiled out of the canner onto the stove, extinguishing the flame on the burner, while the natural gas kept pumping out into the kitchen.  Hooray for open windows!!!

So what all else went wrong?  I can't remember at the moment.  But this list seems mighty short compared to how the day actually went!

I now have
a) very clean kitchen counters,
b) a floor that's been mopped three times since Monday, and
c) some nice tomatoes in the freezer.

Moral of the Story #1 -- Quit canning.
Except for jelly.
Moral of the Story #2 -- When I forget this lesson, make sure I never can anything in quart-sized jars again ... unless I buy a regular water-bath canner.  Pints will be the limit for water-bathing in the pressure canner.

I'm going to have to wear real shoes to work later this week.  Flip-flops are really a lot easier on my burned foot.

Remind me again why this is supposed to be worth it?

Fresh-Tomato Chili

Saute together in a humongous pot:
1.5 pounds hamburger
2 onions, finely chopped
1 large sweet green pepper, finely chopped
1 large hot pepper, minced (or a medium-sized very hot pepper)

Meanwhile, use the food processor to chop up a whole gob of tomatoes (about a gallon of diced tomatoes with their juice).

When the hamburger is browned and the veggies soft, add
1 Tbsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
3 Tbsp dried parsley
1.5 Tbsp chili powder
1.5 Tbsp cumin
1/4 tsp basil

Stir well.  Add tomatoes.  Mix. 
Drain water from 4 pints of of canned kidney beans.
Add beans to soup.  Heat.  Adjust seasonings.



Mmmmmm.   This is the chili which I tried to can, and I shouldn't have.  Batch #2 is bypassing the pressure-canner and going straight into freezer bags.   Mmmmmm.

Offering to Help

As my mom's health began taking a turn for the worse last year, she mentioned one of her regrets.  She says she wished she'd done more things to help her parents as they got older.  At the time, Mom heeded the advice of the social workers and the nurses and the therapists, who all say not to do things to help an elderly or disabled person, if that person is capable of doing the job for himself. 

This makes sense.  Right?  If we cater to a toddler, that child will expect to be waited on.  That child will not grasp for independence.  We will thwart the child's motivation to "Do It Myself!" when we overhelp.  So would it not be the same for a person who's had a stroke or other health impairment?  Are not those multitudes of little, daily tasks sort of like "therapy" practice?

And yet, how much frustration do we allow to crowd in on a person's life?

When we're raising our kids, there's a question we continually bump into:  "Is he ready for this?"  Is Joey wetting his pants because he's not developmentally capable of using the potty, or is he just being stubborn about peeing in his diaper?  Is Susie refusing to stay in her bed at night because she truly needs company and comfort, or is she just being manipulative of her parents?  When your homeschooled 9-yr-old cannot read and cannot memorize his times-tables, is it because he's a lazy so-and-so (and will not do the work), or because he's a late-bloomer (and cannot do the work)? 

But that question doesn't go away when the kids grow up!

We end up with sore muscles.  Do we keep up that exercise regimen we just started?  Or do we give the sore body a rest to recuperate?

Do we give help to the neighbor who's struggling to return the grocery cart to the cart-corral?  Or do we let the man do it himself, as it is his day's exercise? 

Do we help a teenager straighten out the jumbled words coming from a brain that struggles with auditory processing?  Or do we leave her on her own to figure out why we don't understand her question?

I am capable of coming into the kitchen while carrying a bushel of tomatoes.   But I am glad when someone opens the door for me.  Just because I could do it, doesn't mean they should let me.  Or make me.  It's polite to offer help.  It's kind.  It's a courtesy that we should offer to one another.

Those of us who teach children have watched as our students reach the saturation point in their learning.  A fourth-grader wants to read a book for fun that's easy enough for second-graders. Isn't that okay?  Or do we make him read up to his ability level all the time?  A teacher lectures, but must give the students an occasional break to get out of their seats, walk around, chat for a couple of minutes, etc.  When our brains are taxed by new concepts, or hard skills or ideas, we may need a short break.  We need time for the new information and new skills to gel, to settle, to become part of us and our thinking.  That goes for post-stroke therapy, or learning to walk again after an accident.




It keeps coming back to "I can't" versus "I won't."  When someone can't, we respond very differently from when they won't. 

But how do you know which it is?

The Pressure Canner

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I've had my fill of tomatoes.  Wow!  Even two weeks ago, I didn't suspect that it would be possible to get tired of tomatoes.  Ever.  But sadly, the tomato sandwich no longer calls to me, enticing me, whispering that I should have a second, or a third, or a fourth.


Now the work of continuing to put them up.

Earlier this week I made a huge batch of chili.  BEST chili I've made in years.  I put seven quarts into the pressure canner.  Phooey.  Every single one of them leaked.  The seal on three lids stayed, but I am suspicious of those jars anyway.  Tonight I hauled out one of the jars that didn't seal; after 90 minutes in the canner, the flavor had changed.  It's still perfectly acceptable, but it's not blow-your-socks-off yummy any more. 

When I canned the salsa, I forgot to add the lemon juice.  (These days, the low-acid tomatoes require added acid to ensure safety when water-bath canning.)  So I don't know whether to put those salsa jars in the refrigerator, or whether they will be safe enough in the basement pantry for a couple of months.

I know that it's supposed to be better to can your food than freeze it.  I know canned food is safe even when the freezer fails.  I know it's easier to heat the canned food quickly.  But if I spend hours of work canning, only to botch it up and have the taste go downhill, is it okay if I just cross my fingers and hope the freezer keeps doing its job to preserve my goodies?

Me

It so happens that, due to the holiday and scheduling flukes, I ended up being off work for nearly the whole week.  My jobless week included church, a trip to visit my mom, lots of tomatoes and canning and cooking, Bible class, laundry, and some schoolwork with Maggie.  And about 20 hours before I was due to clock-in at work again, I realized:

I feel like myself again.  

I have this sense that "me" is back.

I wish I could do something about that.
Thank God I could be a stay-at-home mom and housewife as long as I did.

This Is a Good House

We have been flirting with the idea of looking for a house in town so that Maggie will be close to the library, church, the stores, the rec center, and possible employment opportunities.  When we moved here, we knew we wanted to be close enough to town to walk or bike.  But it is an hour walk -- for me or Gary -- more for Maggie.  Could we ever find another house that's comparable?

Difficult aspects of this house:
Big yard to mow.
Big deck, so it's hard to keep up.
Three miles from downtown.
No dining room; breakfast nook is tiny.

Nice aspects of this house:

Brick.  Warm.  Little wood to paint.
Newish roof.
Dry!  No mildew.
No water in our basement even when others have flooding.
Not an apartment/condo where you share walls, basement, and entryways.
Established garden space, with room for more,
and asparagus, cherries, berries, etc, are already solid.
Mortgage is decent; what's comparable in town seems pricier.
Radon mitigation system in place from former owners.
Kitties allowed outside; in town they must be leashed.
Large garage; plenty of parking space in driveway too.
Most of the windows have been replaced.
Light and bright and airy.
Fantastic neighborhood.  Safe.
Well water is healthier and tastier than city water.
No water or septic bills.
Lower property taxes than in town.
And finally, we're already here, settled.  (I hate moving.)

I can see why people downsize to smaller homes when the yardwork and housecare becomes burdensome as they age.  On the other hand, it could possibly be cheaper to pay someone else to do that rather than live in town with the extra costs there.  The big question is whether Maggie can develop enough strength and endurance to transport herself into town when necessary.  Thing is, there are two businesses here in town that work with the Dept of Vocational Rehabilitation; our current home is, at most, half-mile further from many of the homes in the center of town, and right now we're closer than many to these two business.  So while it may be convenient now to be closer to downtown, it might actually move us away from potential jobs for Mags.

Where's that crystal ball when you need it?

Mysterious Chemical

It's time for that biannual job -- weather sealant for the deck.  Step 1: clean the deck.  Don't use the power washer. Don't wear myself out with too much elbow grease.  Instead, this time I would use the chemical wood cleaner. 

I realized, when we had cleaned about 1/4 of the deck, that we were halfway through the jug of this blue cleaner-stuff.  Do a little math:   "Gary, while I keep applying this, would you run to the hardware store and buy another gallon?"  He did.  When the first jug was empty, we opened the second.

It was brown. 
And it smelled turpentiny.
And it looked oilier.

But the label was exactly the same.  I pondered whether they had changed to a new formula??  I began to use it.

But something was wrong.  Gary came over from his part of the job (where he was using the hose) to have a look.  He too thought something was wrong.   So we quit for the evening.

A couple of hours later, my hands were burning from the chemical (even though I had been wearing rubber gloves).

Nothing on the website about recalls.

The next day I called the manufacturer.  They had not heard any complaints.  They told me which jug contained the correct cleaner.  (The blue one was real.  The brown one is the Mystery Chemical.)  I took the bottle back to the store to swap it out.  I explained to the store's owner and the manager what had happened.  The guys couldn't believe it.  We checked all the jugs on the shelves; there was another weirdo one. 

Right now, my guess is that the brown liquid was one of the active ingredients in the wood cleaner, unmixed.  I hope that someday I'll find out what it was. 



Moral of the story:  I really ought to trust my gut-level instincts more.  Why do I keep rationalizing possible reasons/excuses for things?  Why do I always assume that I'm being stupid, that I'm not understanding, that the other guy is right?  It seems like I too often end up regretting it.

The Mini-MoPed Girl

Dear Neighbor,

I understand.  And I agree that most people are over-protective of children.  I understand that your 7-yr-old daughter is having a grand time zipping around the neighborhood in her new toy.  I understand that it's good for her to play outside instead of being zoned out in front of a television or video game.  I understand that a little freedom is important to her development.

But I have news for you.  A helmet is not enough protection for a child who is operating a motorized vehicle.  On public streets.  At 15-20 miles per hour. 

I assume your child does not have a license to operate.  After all, she's half the minimum driving age.  And her inability to notice oncoming traffic or to stop-&-look at intersections tells me that she'd fail a driving test if she were old enough to apply for a license.

I'm sure you are blissfully ignorant of how many close calls your daughter has had.  I doubt she realizes the close calls either.  Luckily the cars that she has come close to smashing into have seen her first, stopped, and sat still, waiting, while your daughter narrowly missed damaging their vehicles. And she goes on her merry way, unrattled.

I hope we can figure out who you are and where you live before the day the ambulance arrives.  I'd rather talk to you sooner instead of later.

Susan

Hiring the Good Employees

I am not the manager.  I am not the supervisor.  But I've seen quite a few tellers come and go during the months I've spent at my job.  Some went on to promotions.  Some quit.  Some lost their job.  And I've noticed a pattern.

There is an indefinable, unpinpointable characteristic that distinguishes the good employees from the bad.  And it's got something to do with compassion for others. 

Employees can put on a show about being polite, but for some of them the politeness comes with relatively little effort because of the concern they have for helping the other guy.

Employees can be hard workers because they know the boss will smile upon them for it, but if their hard work is done only to earn the boss's favor, it's hard to keep up the effort when he's not looking.   Others work hard because it's part of their desire to help their customers and their co-workers. 

Employees can complain behind the backs of the nasty customers, but then their crabby rebuttals [spoken surreptitiously to co-workers] affect their attitude so that it oozes out around the edges to all the customers.  Others understand that a rude customer may be "rude" simply because she didn't hear the cheery greeting to give a pleasant response, or because something tragic is going on his life.

Most people who are looking for jobs these days must apply online.  Sometimes hundreds of people apply for a handful of jobs.  There is no way for an employer to get that "feel" for what the prospective employee is like, to assess those indefinable "vibes."  And there is no way for the guy who's job-hunting to be able to "sell" himself on the basis of that most-important quality.  That's hard for the guy who needs a job.  But it's also a difficulty for the person who's doing the hiring.  I'm beginning more and more to think that, if I'm ever in a position of making hiring-decisions, my gut-level intuition should have a lot more clout than my reason and logic.

Update

Tomatoes are doing nicely.  Best year for peppers I've ever had.  We ate some awesome stuffed-pepper skillet the other day.

Maggie and I went to the science museum today.  They have a bed of nails to lie on (to demonstrate dispersion of pressure).  We tried it.  Prickly.  But not painful.

Bethany and Evan moved back to Madison.  You get a big ol' crew of workers on moving day, and yowza, the work goes fast!

Monday was a potluck tailgate party at the Brewers/Cubs game.  A whole bunch of people from church attended; it was one of the events for the 50th-anniversary celebration.  Fun night.  The best part was the home-run ball hit right to our section, the first major-league homer for that player.  Maggie has decided that she is a Cubs fan. 

This week and next I'm not scheduled for any extra hours at work.  I'm just working my own hours without any substituting.  I hope all the new tellers work out so that this stability-of-schedule lasts for a while.  This week I'm learning to balance the ATM.  Next week I will be trained on being a morning-opener.  New stuff -- hooray!

Maggie and I cleaned the garage.  Now I can use it for lunch tables for a baptism dinner someday soon.   :-)

Andrew started classes today.  Well, class.  He is taking only one this semester.  He still has his part-time pizza job.  Saturday is his first day of CNA-type home-visitation job.  

School (and thus chapel) starts next week.  Today was my last day to sleep past 6:30.  I should learn to go to bed in the evenings.

Roman Soldier?

Our town hosted "Heritage Days," a montage of historical re-enactments, all the way from ancient Greece & Rome, up to WWII.  Fun times!  And it gets better every year.

Wisconsin Senate Race

Jeff Fitzgerald.

For all you undecideds, take a look at our Assembly Speaker. He stood firm with Gov Walker.

Granted, any of the four candidates will make a good Senator.  And I will vote for whoever is running against Tammy; she's all for bigger government, higher taxes, and more govt regulations.

But choosing between the four on Tuesday?  Tommy isn't as conservative as I'd like.  Mark has pulled some shenanigans in recent elections, so that he's not my top choice.  Hovde sounds good in many ways, but he's unproven; without a voting record (and being what I consider an out-of-stater) I have no way to know whether he's feeding me a line he thinks will gain my vote, or if he's genuine.

Jeff Fitzgerald has endured the nastiness thrown at him, and still has governed well.   I encourage you to vote for him on Tuesday.

Romney-Ryan Rally

I haven't been in a traffic jam this bad in years.  Even when on my rare forays into Chicagoland, I haven't seen this kind of traffic for a long long time.  But people were polite and safe and (for the most part) patient drivers, so that helps.

There were, of course, protesters.  I counted 23.  I may have missed 1 or 2.  I wondered how the network news would report the number of protesters.

Of all the folks who spoke (Congressmen, national leaders, state leaders, etc.), Scott Walker and Paul Ryan received the most enthusiastic reception.  The crowd is reported to have been 8000 to 10,000+ (and since we needed tickets to enter, they actually have a count of attendees, and not just a guess).  

What to Call the In-Laws

When you're a kid, you don't know what adults call their in-laws.  After all, parents usually refer to their in-laws as "Grandma" and "Grandpa" around the munchkins. 

So when you get all grown-up and acquire yourself some in-laws, you have to figure out what to call them.  It feels funny to start calling someone "Dad" who used to be "Mr Lastname."  But hey, what may feel funny at first is something you get used to eventually.  The problem comes when there are objections.

Maybe the bride's mom doesn't want her daughter calling another woman "Mom."  Maybe she thinks, "That's my spot!"  Maybe the groom feels like it would be betraying his father to call somebody else "Dad."  Maybe you don't feel comfortable enough around the spouse's family to use such close & endearing names.  Maybe [gasp] there's some dislike. 

When Gary and I got married, we didn't know what to do, and nobody told us.  When I asked about calling my mother-in-law "Mom," I was told no, but that I could call her "Mother."  (Unfortunately, to me, "Mother" is a term of exasperation, rather like when a parent uses a child's full name; kids usually know that they're in trouble when they're summoned with the middle name and last name in addition to the first name.  That's how "Mother" feels coming out of my mouth.  Because "Mother" sounded disrespectful to me, I didn't want to use it for my mother-in-law.  Maybe I should have anyway.) 

When two of my girls got married, we didn't know what to tell them.  We did tell them that we thought "Mom" and "Dad" would be good, but that it was up to them because we recognized that it might make the husbands uncomfortable or make the guys' parents uncomfortable. 

In hindsight, I think we botched it. 

There is a change of relationship, a change of family, new connections being created, at a wedding.  The bride has to get used to introducing herself with a new name.  She has to get used to a new signature.  The couple has to get used to living together instead of separately in their parents' homes.  Calling the in-laws "Mom" and "Dad" is just one of those changes. 

So I'm saying it for all you yet-unmarried youngsters who are my kids' friends.  There's a theological reality here.  When you refer to your spouse's parents with words/nicknames for parents, you are teaching yourself something about who these people are and what your relationship is.  If they object to being called "Mom" and "Dad," maybe they need to learn something about this new family-relationship.  Neither should your parents object to your in-laws being called "Mom" and "Dad."  You've probably got decades together, through kids and grandkids, through illnesses and moves and job changes and fights and reconciliations and school plays and Little League games and deaths and sorrows and joys.  Y'know, "for better or for worse, ..." and all that. 

And through it all, it would be good to know that this person who raised your husband (or wife)  IS "Mom" or "Dad."  Not just to your spouse, but to you too.  And using the words helps you to believe it.

So say it.  Squirm if you must.  If you can't help it and turn red in the face, so be it.  But say "Mom" and "Dad" anyway.  In 40 years, you'll be glad you did.

Wisconsin Homeschoolers

Although the DPI now has available the online census form on which we report the enrollment of our homeschools, now is not the time to file. 

If your child has already been enrolled in a conventional school for the 2012-13 school year (even though he would not yet have attended), you may not begin homeschooling until the government receives a copy of your PI-1206.  If your child has been enrolled for the upcoming school-year, file your 1206 this week or next.

But for everybody else (those of us who unenrolled the kid last spring, or those of us who were homeschooling last spring and even before) we do NOT file the PI-1206 until after the third Friday in September. 

I know some of you want to get things checked off your to-do list.  I know some of you don't want to wait, for fear you may forget.  Put it on your calendar for September 26 or 28 or October 3.  Like all the other schools in the state, we count our enrollment on the third Friday of September.  Wait until that day, please.

Arnica Gel

Because I bruise easily, I know that every single bump into a corner of a counter-top, a piece of furniture, or a car door, will result in a bruise. A tube of arnica gel is sitting in my bedroom to alleviate carpal tunnel pain.  As I had done with my inadvertent aloe experiments, a week ago I experimented with the arnica.  Arnica on only one of the bruised spots.  The newer bruise (which was just as deep, with the same amount of pain as the older bruise) healed much faster, much more comfortably. 

How does it DO that?!

That arnica is awesome stuff!  And no, I don't get paid by the Arnica Foundation to wax eloquent about this amazing herb.   :-)

Alia's Axe

So while we're babysitting today, the 3-yr-old comes from the garage, onto the deck, with a hatchet. Andrew's eyebrows pop up, and he queries, "So ... what are you doing with the axe, Alia?"

"I want to chop down a tree."

Naturally! Silly us. Why else would a kid want an axe?

I explain, "You may not chop down a tree. I want my trees!"

"But.... But ..... I want to chop down a tree. Why do you have an axe if you don't chop down trees??"

"For chopping the branches that fall down after a windstorm."

She trots back to the garage and puts the hatchet away.

So as we're in the kitchen, putting away the food and beginning to wash the lunch dishes, I'm thinking that we really need to keep a close eye on this kid. Then Andrew gasps from the deck. Alia had picked up the cat (the younger one, the mild-mannered one, the suck-it-up-and-take-whatever-comes one) and tossed her in the kiddie pool. Surprisingly enough, the cat wasn't as pleased with the pool as was the kid in the bathing suit.

Then we went to the playground. The nice, safe playground. LOL.

Peach Pie

So when the peach pie or the apple pie contains the fruit-skin,
when the mashed potatoes have skins in them,
does that mean
a) the cook is nobly concerned about good nutrition and not wasting the food,
or
b) the cook is too lazy to peel the fruit?

I vote for choice A.  Yes.  I do.  You believe that, don't you?

Making Mistakes

I think it might be worse to watch somebody else make a mistake at work than to botch it myself.

Almost half of our tellers are new in June or July.  Two were on their own for the first time this week.  The person I was working with today is such a sweetie.  It was really busy.  And, as luck would have it, she ended up with her drawer being off.  She hadn't made a big error, but it was enough to trouble her.  I wanted so much to hug her and assure her.  I wanted to make it all better for her.  I remember those mistakes happening all-too-frequently when I was new.  I wished that things had gone differently during the morning; I wondered if there was something I could have done to be more helpful to her.  I feel awful that she was off, and it wasn't even my mistake.

When I was new, they kept telling me, "Everybody makes mistakes."  That didn't make it any better at the time.  But now that I've been there for a while, and I can see what the new girl is going through,  it's true: everybody does make mistakes when they're learning!

When I was new, they kept assuring me that I would learn from my mistakes.  I didn't like that.  I knew it was true.  But I hated it.  In fact, I still remember my second-grade teacher giving us a homework assignment to come up with a list of homonyms.  I of course, in overdrive, came up with a list of not 10 or 20, but nearly 100.  My list included "our" and "are" as homonyms.  It was wrong!  [gasp]  [By the way, Teacher didn't listen to how folks in that section of Illinois pronounced "are" and "our."]  I still remember being WRONG about that.  Of course, Mr Choir Director appreciates that because I make sure to sing "our" with the correct pronunciation.  And sometimes I edit his writing, correcting the same mistake (because he was raised amongst people with the same accent).  All because of my mortification that my second-grade teacher caught me being WRONG.

During my senior year when I was taking a programming class, my computer program didn't run as it was supposed to.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong.   I went to the prof.  He asked me what I'd done to debug the program.  "What?  What do you mean, 'debug the program'?"  He asked me what I'd done before, when my programs hadn't run properly.  I was stunned.  They'd never not-run before.  I was nearing the end of my computer-science major, and I had never debugged a program.  I'd always gotten it right from the get-go.  That's not actually a good way to learn to solve problems, eh?

I am still stunned by the parable of the lost sheep.  For decades I had wondered about how there is "more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 just persons who need no repentance."   God is not like me.  I would much rather have my kids obey me than to screw up and break things and be sassy and then ask for forgiveness.  I don't understand this verse: how can God delight in repentance more than He delights in so much obedience that there's no need for repentance?!  I mean, He certainly wants us to obey and do what is right!  But this verse -- there is more joy in heaven.... 

I don't like mistakes.
I like to be right.
I like to do things the right way so that there's no need to fix it.
I want so desperately to comfort those who are grieving
over their inability to do the job perfectly.
I know we learn from our mistakes.

I still don't like mistakes.

Maybe I'll get it straightened out in my mind before I die.

Proper-Fitting Bras

Heads-up to guys: This is a girls' topic.

About a decade ago, the doctor sent me for tests.  She was quite sure I didn't have cancer, but needed to eliminate that as a possibility before looking into more reasonable explanations for the pain I was experiencing.   The mammogram technician told me that she sees many women who are having problems with their undergarments.  She suggested trying an alternative-type undergarment, and that has been my only option for years.  It doesn't make a person look attractive, but it seemed the best choice given the circumstances.

Recently, a friend pointed out Breakout Bras and their advice on sizing and finding a proper fit.  Hey!  This is fantastic!  Nobody ever told me this before!

Y'know how They always told you to measure your rib cage and then add 4-5" to find your band size?  No!  That's wrong.  That's how I ended up with poor fit, pain, and straps that kept slipping off my shoulders.  Breakout Bras says to measure your rib cage, and then start shopping for the size that reflects that measurement.  And it works.  Awesome!

The Kids Pulled It Off!

We got stuck with a dentist appointment for Maggie on a day that I had to work.  But that was okay: Andrew could drive her.  Then Andrew had to go in to make arrangements for his new job (CNA work for at-home assistance for the elderly or disabled).  But Katie was willing to borrow our car and drive Maggie to the dentist (even when we forgot to switch car seats into the van, and she had to come chase them down).  I dropped off Andrew at his appointment.  Katie waited for Maggie, and then all the girls hit the beach while waiting for Andrew's appointment to conclude.  It took longer than it should have.  Many thanks to Katie for her help!!  Who needs Hermione's time-turner when Katie helps us out this way?!

Garden

Enough aloe, and the sunburn will soak in, turn to tan, and won't peel!





I thought I would have three days in a row off this week.  Since late May, I had been hoping to go visit Mom this week.  But somehow I ended up scheduled to work Wednesday afternoon.  As Murphy's Law would dictate, business was slow, and I stood around bored for most of the afternoon.  What a bummer!

But Maggie has been motivated to overcome the weeds.  The garden got SO out-of-control during June's vacation and symposium, and then with July's heat and our reluctance to go do garden work and give ourselves heat stroke.   :-)  So for the past week, we have been working together to make a dent in the jungle. 

The patch by the grapes and blueberries has been thoroughly weeded, mulch laid down, and a few small strips planted.  Cilantro, beets, lettuce -- because it will be cooling down pretty soon  -- right?

The strawberry patch and the asparagus patch have been thoroughly weeded.  Part of it is mulched.  We need to move a few straggler berry plants back into the proper rows, and then finish mulching.

The tomato patch (where live the cucumber, zucchini, basil, and peppers) is weeded and has mulch in all the places I want it.  We still need to till under the cilantro patch and plant something that will grow before snow & frost.

The blackberries are partly weeded.  And the raspberries need lots of attention: pruning and weeding and mulch.  

The patches that have been weeded are drying out so fast!  I know the weeds hog the nutrients and moisture, supposedly harming my plants.  But the weeds also provide ground cover so that the ground stays moist there.  I'm not entirely convinced at this point that we haven't done harm in this drought to have yanked the weeds.



Not enough blackberries to make a pie or a batch of jam.  But there are enough to graze for some treats.  The raspberries were even thinner than that.  The grapes, however, are looking nice.  The tomatoes are beginning to come in and taste oh-so-wonderful!  There are only a few pumpkins, but that will be okay.  I loved the romaine we grew in spring; I hope the heat now won't be too much for a fall crop.

The heat and lack of rain seems to have forestalled the pest damage from Japanese beetles.  It also seems to have significantly delayed the fungus problems everybody around here faces.  So I think most of the tomato crop may ripen before the plants succumb this year.  Woo hoo!

Poll

Gary and I aren't in the habit of hanging around the house in our underwear.  Our kids have learned in the last couple of years that several of their friends' dads do.  (Come to think of it, we don't know about friends' moms.)

An argument arose yesterday.  Is the decency-standard different for girls and guys? I think in public it is.  But what about in the privacy of home?  I suspect that girls are less likely to wander the house in their underwear, but I may be wrong.  If the girl thinks all the guys are gone or asleep, and then is seen in her undies [gasp!] whose problem is it?  Should the female take greater care in modesty?  Or should the male realize that, if he can wander the house in his boxers, he shouldn't hold others to a higher standard?

What do you say?

Avoiding a Traffic Ticket

You know that "Move Over" law?   If an emergency vehicle or tow truck is stopped on the side of the road, we are supposed to move over or slow down.  Well, "move over" doesn't just mean to move over; it means to change lanes completely.

I talked to someone who got a whoppin' fine and three points on her license today because she needed to be in the right lane to exit the highway, so she moved over to the middle of the road to give wide berth to the police car and the tow truck which were sitting on the shoulder.    But she did not change lanes so that her car was completely in the left lane.  That was the reason for the ticket.  When she explained to the policeman that she was exiting and had to be in the right lane, he told her that she should have stayed on the highway and proceeded to the next exit ramp. 

I also did not know until today that slowing down is not an option if you can change lanes.  But if you can't change lanes, how much must we slow down?  That's not clear either.

So there ya go.  Just sharing the warning.

Local Politics

Oh, the level of vitriol against a man who's just trying to look at some out-of-the-box options!  Not to enact them.  Just to ask if we should consider them.

I have been thankful for the leadership of our town chairman, Matt.  He doesn't want to play political games.  He's as fiscally conservative as I am.  He's got loads of common sense.  He's not a fool, to be taken advantage of.  He's good!  

The problem is that our township and the village within its borders have been fussing with each other for decades.  Town properties can be (and have been) annexed by other villages, depleting our tax base.  Our town doesn't have the authority to make plans for itself; we have to get approval from the neighboring villages and from the county.  We can protect ourselves and be more self-governing if we have village status.  Recently our township attempted to become incorporated into a village, but the village-within-our-borders thwarted the attempt (in violation of the current Border Agreement between the two entities). 

So now the question is: Shall we look into the possibility of a merger between the town and the village?  It would be a way to achieve village status.  It might be better than being "eaten up" slowly by neighboring villages because we'd go into the merger as equal partners.  But there would be some serious downsides too.  In a few weeks, we'll have an advisory referundum on whether we should even begin to look into this.  This is not a vote on whether to consolidate with the village.  It's merely a vote to determine whether we should explore the possibility.

Last night was the third town meeting on the subject.  It was the first non-Wednesday, and thus the first Gary and I were able to attend. Some of the folks from church made good points against looking into consoliation.  The county exec (who was speaking in favor of consolidation) made the strongest case to me to vote against consolidation.  (Bigger = better!  Progress!  Numbers!)   But the main things that I saw at last night's meeting:

a)  Grudges are powerful.  And long-lasting.  And they blind people.  There's a place for being cautious and wary when someone in the past has done dirt to you.  There's certainly a place for "trust but verify"!  But to say that we can never even talk about ending a feud?  Sad.

b)  I'm shocked at the anger against a man who's wanting to look at options for protecting the township he's in charge of.  I shouldn't be.  Gary said the same thing has happened to him.  When he would float ideas at his previous congregation for ways to reach out to the community, or point out repairs that needed to be made to the building, or suggest changes to the confirmation program, so often people refused to even consider it.  "We can't even discuss the pros and cons of what we have now and what I'm suggesting?"  Nope. 

I still don't know how I'll vote on the referendum.  Short of seeing into the future, there's no way to know what's the best course of action.  Both sides have really good arguments on how to save money, reduce government, ensure freedoms.  But we don't know what decisions will be made by neighboring villages, who will be sitting on town boards, and what kind of decisions will be made if/when we appeal the decision on last year's incorporation effort.

Is He Telling the Truth?

When one of my co-workers asked a few weeks ago, "So, did anybody try to get in while I was gone?" and "Did you see the bad guys anywhere in the neighborhood?" it sounded to me like he was joking.  But he persisted.  I was confused.  He then informed me that there had been a robbery at a bank in the area.  I didn't believe him.  I thought it was a stupid joke.  He insisted it was real.  I was skeptical.

So a little later, I asked the supervisor.  She confirmed that there had been a robbery at a nearby bank.  She was a bit confused that I didn't believe what I'd been told, and that I wanted to check on the story.  That's when I realized something kind of unsettling -- I no longer assume I'll be told the truth.  I've heard too many lies. 

That's sad.




By the way, for those in the metro area, the serial robber was caught.

Gimme Nouns!

Imagine a paragraph with 37 pronouns, 0 nouns, and 14 nondescript verbs (such as "have," "got," "was," and "did").  For some reason, I seldom understand tales told in that fashion.  I guess I'm just flawed that way. 

Wrath of God

Even though we are sinners, parents know the conflicting feelings when kids do things to hurt themselves.  Maybe the child wandered off and got lost at Target.  Maybe the preschooler ran into the busy street.  Maybe the toddler reached out to put her hand on the red-hot burner on the electric stove.   Maybe the teenager fell in with the wrong crowd and is hanging out where crimes are committed.  The parents love the child.  The parents want to protect the child.  Mixed in with all this love and protection is some anger.  It's not sinful anger (although it's certainly possible for sinful anger to be mixed in too).  There is justified, righteous anger that the one you love --more than you love yourself-- is hurting himself.

Being angry does NOT mean the parents don't love.  Quite the opposite.  If the parents didn't love so profoundly, there wouldn't be anger. 

I spent decades confused by what it is to "fear, love, and trust" in God.  But when I experienced what it is to fear, love, and trust a person, I began to understand how those are not conflicting verbs.  Now I'm beginning to see, in the same way, that the experience of motherhood helps me have an inkling of how wrath and love co-exist.

Psalm 85 tells us that
the Lord has forgiven the iniquity of His people. 
He has covered all their sin. 
He has taken away all His wrath. 
He has turned from the fierceness of His anger.   

If He has "taken away all His wrath," that means there was wrath.  The forgiveness of sin took away His wrath toward us.  But it was there, and something caused it to cease. 

I suppose it's not reasonable to think that a loving God could be wrathful.  But there are lots of things the Bible says that our puny, reasonable minds cannot comprehend: the trinity and the incarnation for starters.  We don't jettison the clear words of Scripture just because our finite reason cannot understand.

Kitchen Herbs

Tomatoes are beginning to trickle in from the garden.  I want basil to go with it!  But my basil plants are a whopping 1-2" high right now.  We looked at the local grocer.  Of the two stores in town, one didn't carry fresh basil, and the other had a tiny, skinny box of organic basil for $3.  Three bucks for about 10 basil leaves?  [gasp, hyperventilate, preparing to rant...]

We asked one of the employees, "Is there any non-organic basil?  The organic is a bit pricey."  No, they didn't carry any other brands, but they carried live kitchen herbs, including basil.  Wow!  I bought a pot of basil and a pot of rosemary.  Even if the basil didn't grow, even if all I harvested was what was on the plant that very day, it was still twice as much fresh basil for a smaller price than that expensive little boxful.

The basil is doing great.  The rosemary has dried up and looks pitiful.  But if I can make this work, it may mean basil and fresh cilantro through the winter.  It's a 3x3x3" container (with holes in the bottom) with several basil plants growing in it, and it sits on a dish.  The instructions say to keep snipping off the tops of plants to harvest leaves, and to keep water in the saucer/bowl so that the soil soaks up the moisture.

Huh.  I always was pulling leaves off the sides of my herbs.  I guess I should've been chopping their tops off.  Well, this is good to know, whether for inside or outside herbs.

Basil on my sandwich tomorrow!  

The Apostles and Prophets

The glorious company of the apostles praise Thee.
The goodly fellowship of the prophets praise Thee.
The noble army of martyrs praise Thee.
The holy Church throughout all the world doth acknowledge Thee.

te Deum

... built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, 

Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone.  

Ephesians 2:20

Why are the apostles listed first?  In time, the prophets came first.  

Sometimes, facing problems allows for a sharpening of language.  Sometimes, dealing with controversy allows us to come to clearer understandings than we had before.  

Pastor pointed out recently that the apostles are listed before the prophets because they had been brought to clearer understandings.  The prophets were important; they taught the truth; they were God's messengers.  But the apostles were even greater. Because of the passage of time, they could see things the prophets hadn't.  They knew what the prophets had handed down, but then also knew more.  Ancientness is not necessarily the place where we find purest truth.   

Sometimes, we really do stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before.

Plan for Exercise?

Over the past week, I finally succumbed to the idea that we could (should?) join a gym.  Maggie needs exercise.  We're not managing to make it happen.  What if we joined the gym that's about a mile from the house?  No more "it's too hot to go for an exercise-walk" or "it's too cold" during winter or "it's too rainy" (which we haven't had ANY problem with this summer).

Curves requires a year-long contract.  Snap doesn't.  Snap is less than half the distance as Curves.  So we dropped by today to sign up.  But registration had to be online.  And I couldn't register Maggie for the one-month-trial because she wasn't old enough.  When I asked the local gym, they suggested getting a free trial for me and then bringing Maggie as my guest.  But that means we'd have to be there only during the hours they are staffed which (given my work hours) gives us only two afternoons a week.  Not exactly a realistic trial.  But maybe better than nothing?

Maggie begged to not join.  (She really likes following the rules to a T.  And this would've involved several exceptions to the rules.)  We finally decided we'd take another crack at exercising at home.  Walks will have to be in the morning before the temperature of the air becomes higher than body temperature.  Same for biking.  We checked out some Netflix instant-play exercises videos.  For the most part, they move too fast for us to figure out.  Move your arms how while you're doing what with that sliding dance step?! But time may help with that. 

We have to start small.  With achievable goals.  But it's such a long haul to see improvement ....

Things You Don't Want to Remember

More than 30 years have passed.  I still remember. 

The other day some friends pointed me to an article on watching horror movies and other scenes which impress themselves on our minds.  And I remembered.

"We" were me, my new husband, my father-in-law, and the guy who'd been Gary's roommate the previous year.  We'd been in Washington for a week for my brother-in-law's wedding.  We'd had some late nights visiting and celebrating.  It was a long drive home.  We needed to stop.  We'd been watching billboards, hunting a hotel.  We'd been exiting the highway, scanning for signs of hotels.  Nothing.  At exit after exit, we were finding nothing.  Our eyes were getting heavy.  We really needed to stop for the night.

Finally an ad for a hotel.  Phew!  We took the next exit, followed the signs, pulled into the hotel's parking lot ... and began to wonder.  This didn't look like the kind of hotel I wanted to stay in.  Small.  Not well kept-up.  Hourly rates.  Yeah -- hourly rates.  But we were SO tired.  We checked in.*

We showered, climbed into bed, turned on the television.  And our eyes about popped out of our skulls.  We turned it off.  But 30-some years later, I still remember what was on that screen.  Just that one small experience makes me realize how important it is to guard our eyes and our imaginations from pictures that cannot be erased. 

I still remember being a child terrified of "The Wizard of Oz."  I still remember some of those Godzilla movies.  I cannot understand the popularity of the zombie movies today.  I've never watched "Friday the 13th" or "The Exorcist" or any of those other horror films.  My mom told me we should watch "Saving Private Ryan" (which is history, not billed as Horror) but I just couldn't. 

I have friends who don't want to watch "The Passion of the Christ."  Even though I can't understand (because the awful things in that movie are our life and our salvation and our joy, and because the theology embedded in that movie is gorgeously rich) I do understand because it's vivid, and it's emotional, and it's something that cannot be erased from your mind when once you've seen it.

But when the reason to see a movie is merely for entertainment (?) or because everyone else is seeing it, why do we willingly expose ourselves to such nastiness?  For fun?  Something's wrong.



* The kicker came the next morning.  When we checked out and hopped back on the interstate, the very next exit had several big-name hotels.  If we'd only held out for 15 more minutes.... 

Comfort Foods

Oh, they tell us not to give a kid a cookie to cheer him up.  They say it's bad to find comfort in food.  Depressed?  Don't you dare have a bowl of ice cream.  In a cranky mood?  Don't find your solace in making your favorite supper.  M&M's when life seems overwhelming?  Shame on you.

BAH.  Humbug.

Personally, I like taking comfort from comfort foods.

But then you get older.  Pizza may make your mouth happy and lift your spirits.  But your stomach says, "Excuse me?  Pizza?  It's 9:30 in the evening, you fool!"  Snickers make you feel better for 10-20 minutes, but then you pay for it later.

So where do you find comfort when you know that you really really really ought to exercise self-control, and not have that rum&coke, not have that 8 oz bag of candy bars, or not have that third slice of pizza?  (Did I say "third"?   Uh... I meant "second."  Well, no.  I meant "first."  Shoot.  You're never going to believe me, are you?)

The chocolate cookies on the counter are calling my name.