Sunday, March 22, 2009

Miss Manners Would Not Approve

Last Sunday, we invited ourselves over to the home of some friends. They were glad to have us. I felt rude asking if we could stop by, but the schedule and the direction we were driving permitted it. We'd also been happily rejuvenated the previous week when we invited some friends from church over for Sunday afternoon, and were hoping for another Sunday of relaxed and joyful friendship.

After a wonderful afternoon with our friends, I was still feeling a little rude for inviting ourselves over. But the hostess reminded me that you can only do that when there's a solid relationship of love already established. So the fact that I could ask if we could come over, and the fact that they welcomed our "intrusion," means that there's a bond there that allows for that kind of behavior.

A few days later, a different friend called and asked if her daughter could spend the afternoon at our house. She was as apologetic for making the request as I had been the previous week. And you know what? I was thrilled that she asked! That means she and I are good enough friends that she can ask a favor, and I don't even see it as an imposition in the slightest, but see it as a joy to have company from their family.

Being able to have friends like that, where we can butt into each other's lives, wow, that just gives me warm-fuzzies all over. I used to think that the sign of a "bosom friend" (in Anne of Green Gables lingo) was when I could work in their kitchen, and know where the glasses and the flour and the skillets and the measuring cups were. But inviting myself over (or being happy that somebody invited themselves over to my place) is a big thing too, just shy of kitchen-sharing.


  1. I have been wanting to kitchen-share and have you show me your tortilla press. I am tired of rolling them out by hand, but scared (despite your reassurances) of the hefty price tag with the electric presses. Can I invite myself over?

  2. You bet you can come over and make tortillas! Warning: it seemed to me that my press was not working through the whole pressing-time when I last made them, though. I'm not sure whether a press that lasts for only a year is financially worth it. Probably so, given that I make $4-10 worth of tortillas every time I get it out of the cupboard. But I'd be happier if the press lasted 10-15 years instead of 1-3.

    Gary says you should come on a Saturday or Sunday so that he can see the girls, and maybe even Chris.

  3. I guess we're all just a bunch of uncouth, lowbrow brutes. I, too, recently had a dear friend invite herself over, and I couldn't have been more pleased. Of course, since she has cleaned my house for me before, so it really does seem like it's her house now, too!

  4. Strike either that "since" or that "so."

  5. We have been in the habit of inviting ourselves over to Katie and Nathans... mostly cause we really really wanted to see them, but I felt the same way, a bit awkward asking "Can we come over and spend the night for the weekend, and eat your food and hang out in your house with you?" But on the other hand if they had invited themselves over we would have been sooooo excited. So hopefully they have the same feeling as we did.