Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Today's Laugh

The doctor said, "Jerry, the good news is that I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Jerry was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need-–a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I’d like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see … size 44 long." Jerry laughed, "That’s right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Jerry tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.

As Jerry admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Jerry thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Jerry and said, "Let's see … 34 sleeve and 16½ neck." Jerry was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Jerry tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

As Jerry adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Jerry was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Jerry's feet and said, "Let's see … 9-1/2 E." Jerry was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Jerry tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.

Jerry walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Jerry thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Jerry's waist and said, "Let's see, size 36."

Jerry laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head. "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

1 comment:

  1. Oh man! Poor guy! Can he go back and have the doc sew Them back on?!

    ReplyDelete