Saturday, October 11, 2008

Local Homeschool Group

I'm feeling poor and overly busy.

There's a nice group of moms who have started getting together on second Fridays at the library. They would like a homeschool group that is closer to home, so they don't have to drive across the county or to the neighboring big cities for activities.

What I don't understand is how many activities they are involved with, or want to initiate. When they talk about weekly or bi-weekly gym days, I'm wondering about how we're going to fit something else into the calendar. When they talk about having book discussions for the kids, I'm wondering how I would ever convince my kids to read something that isn't already on their top-choice list or on my assignment list for them. When they talk about fieldtrips, the places are invariably too costly for us to consider. When they talk about having the moms get together sometime in the dark days of late winter for "mom time" without the kids, I wonder if I'd even want to make that work, given how little I see Gary (and how little I see the dear friends I already have).

I just have this feeling that it's time to quit hanging out with homeschoolers. I want to use my limited amount of time and energy these days on relationships where there's more to it* than having homeschooling be the main unifying factor in the relationship.

It's weird. I really do believe that it's good for homeschoolers to stick together, and for the seasoned ones to be there helping the newbies, as well as the seasoned ones finding new ideas and enthusiasm from the newbies. And there are new people whom I'm sure I would thoroughly enjoy getting to know. But there is limited time, and as I get older the time and energy available seems to be plummeting. When you can't do the stuff you need to do, something has to go, even if you think its valuable.

* Footnote: This of course does not mean that I'm going to cross people off the list of my friends just because they homeschool! :-) I would hope that goes without saying, but just in case....


  1. "Just because you homeschool" really isn't enough to build a soul-comforting friendship on. It may be a reason to have coffee or have children play together, but no more.

    I think it's ok to hold people, acquaintances especially, as arms' length. That sounds terrible, but I think maybe you know what I mean. It's ok to meet up for talk, but excuse yourself from other activities. It's ok to say, "You know, I really don't want to be away from my hubby over a weekend."

    The socio-economic bent of your particular area doesn't exactly make it easy, either!

  2. I know what it feels like to want to get together with other homeschoolers. For some people it is enough to start a friendship on. For those of us who don't have a lot of friends or people near by it would be a very edifying thing to get together with people who can understand some of the choices you have made. I wish I had that opportunity.

    But just because they are planning all these activities doesn't mean you have to go to everything. I've never understood the whole "get together without your husband" thing. I would take what I could out of the opportunities presented (just the library talks or once in awhile gym days) and bow out of the rest.

  3. I dunno, Susan, I feel the same way and I think it's because we're heading into a different season of life, and also because many of today's newer homeschool moms are very determined to book their kids' schedules (and their own) full up. I hear you loud and clear, and I don't think we need to apologize for wanting to devote our time to the people we love.