Grieving Takes Time

Three years ago today was the last time Steve talked to me. I had a few more days to talk to him and sing hymns to him and sit in his hospice room with lots of other friends and family. I'm very aware of these anniversary days -- the day he was diagnosed with his third bout of lymphoma, the last day I visited him and his wife at home, the day he was admitted to hospice, etc. But this year, finally, those memories aren't wipe-ya-out painful like last year and the previous year. Those memories are still incredibly vivid, and there is still some sorrow there, but the pain isn't there like it was.

I picked up a tape from church last Thursday. It was supposed to be the Service from a couple of Sundays ago. But somebody forgot to turn on the tape recorder. So what I found (which was supposed to have been recorded over) was a tape of Bible class from Eastertide 2000. Pastor Wiest was there. He was asking questions and making comments, being theologically provocative and insightful. It was such a happy thing to hear his voice and the things he said. Kinda a nice touch to hear his voice again on the anniversary of the day I last heard his voice. And also kinda nice to know that mourning and grieving eventually ends. But shame on the person who decides that a person's grief is "taking too long."