1. I normally dress fairly conservatively. Even when the heat calls for shorts and tank tops (or even spaghetti straps), my clothes tend to be frumpy and modest compared to most of what you see out there in the stores and on the streets.
2. I don't like other people undermining what I teach my kids. If something is good and right to do, it's good and right -- not relativistic. In other words, I don't buy into the "it's good for me, but you have your own right and wrong."
3. During the past week, we were at a resort for a grand ol' family reunion with wonderful wonderful people. Also at the resort was a group of Amish folks. They were fun to visit with and chat with around the campfire. The kids were sweet and cute, and the parents enjoyable and friendly.
Thus #4, the dilemma. My kids love the swimming pool. I would put on my swim suit to go to the pool or beach with them. It's not a bikini. It's not particularly revealing as swimsuits go, and actually rather modest. But it's still a swimsuit, with naked arms and near-naked shoulders and most of my thighs exposed. And I felt like I was undermining the Amish moms simply to have a swimsuit. Even though I was more covered than most of the other females at the pool, I could just imagine the Amish women trying to explain to their munchkins why they wear the clothes they do and why they don't run around with that much skin exposed. It was weird feeling like The Bad Influence, while wanting to minimize the Bad Influence I was being, yet without avoiding the pool altogether.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
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I feel like this every time my jeans and I walk past a long-skirted Mennonite lady. Weird.
ReplyDeleteI really feel uncomfortable in culturally typical swimwear, and not just because I'm too old to look good in it any more. When my ship comes in I'm buying a Birqini, and until then, I'm not swimming.
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog since it started. Thank you!
I have not worn a bathing suit for years. Just T-shirt, shorts, and no swimming.
Wouldn't it be fun to wear those 1920's style suits?
But I guess we're past that, eh?
(frowny face).
Alex's Grandma
C.S. Lewis has a great discussion on this in Mere Christianity... I think in the section on prudence.
ReplyDeleteBasically, there are certain cultural norms that define cultures... nothing one wears is inherently right or wrong. For example, I guarantee even what you wear would have left you an outcast 100 years ago. There are African countries where the norms in clothes would leave us Westerners flabbergasted and appalled. But it's not at all odd to them, it's perfectly normal over there.
Lewis made the point that the sin of what we wear comes when we wear something specifically to either challenge cultural norms (sort of), or else to excite lust in others (definitely).
What was prudent 100 years ago just simply isn't what's prudent today. Neither person was committing a sin though.
This is a rather sub-par summary of what he wrote. I'd glance at it- its in his section on morality. And it's blessedly short (couple of pages).
And in the multi-cultural society we live in, it's an inescapable fact of life. Everything you do is going to offend someone else's beliefs and practice. The Amish you encountered need to realize that the same way we need to realize that about all the things which offend us (but aren't actually sins).
So wear your not-that-skimpy bathing suit proudly.
My $.02
Most of the time my shorts don't bother me, but there are times when I am around Mennonites or my dresses-only Baptist neighbors that I feel 'nekkid' in them. They don't do or say anything to make me feel immodest, it all comes from my own insecurity.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post. It's nice to know I'm not alone. My head understands and agrees with what Jeff is saying, but my heart is never in the same place.l