Whatcha Gotta Do

This morning, while jogging, a neighbor (who was out working in his yard bright and early) commented that I sure am a very hard worker, out jogging every day. It caught me off-guard. I smiled and said briefly as I jogged past, "It's not hard work that does it. I need this to be able to breathe." He smiled and said, "Well, good for you to keep at it." And I kept on joggin' down the road.

And I thought for my last 3/4 mile about the assumptions we make. This man thought I was jogging because it was a good thing to do to exercise, or whatever. And it's not. I do it because I have to. If I don't do my running, I definitely can see the ramifications in both my breathing and my mood. And it's cheaper and has fewer side effects than medications for the same problems.

And I thought about the story I read yesterday (and totally identified with) about the young moms admiring other young moms who have it all together, without a clue that the ones who "have it all together" really really don't and are just acting out of desperation.

And I remembered when my friend Laura thought it was so cool (and was maybe just a mite jealous) that I was all by myself in the house for a couple of days, kids and husband at Grandma's while I painted a few rooms and hauled stuff off to Goodwill. She thought it sounded like a great organization-break from regular life. And all the while I was falling to pieces, trying to figure out how I was going to cope with Baby#7 and where this kid's crib could possibly fit in the house. Thus the purge of belongings to Goodwill. And the early nesting instinct, knowing that there was going to be a LOT of work involved in making space for that baby. (Most of you know us to have six kids. The one in this story was my first miscarriage.)

I have had other homeschool moms make comments about how much catechism or hymnody my children and I have memorized. Sometimes I get the impression they think I'm a dedicated mother who is holy and spiritual and knows her priorities and all that stuff, and thus does [did] a great job of catechizing children. And it's not that. It's much more about being in a situation I can't cope with, neeeeeding God's word to see me through, and therefore devotions is born out of my selfishness rather than proper vocational duty.

I suppose it's nice that the neighbor this morning admired my supposed "hard work." I guess that's putting the best construction on things. And I think we all do that. We admire the hard work and the coping skills of others. The only danger is when we beat ourselves up with thinking, "Why can't I do that too?" Because sometimes things are not what they appear. Today's [3-year] Gospel: Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Maybe you don't want the conditions that impel somebody to DO the things you're admiring???