Nutrition Nazi Meets a Cookie

Yesterday I had tea and cookies.

"What's wrong with that?" you ask. Uhhhhh, all I had was tea and cookies.

I had a couple of mugs of green tea during Bible class. Not too bad. Think of all those nice little antioxidants happily running around my veins. But Judy brought those cookies to Bible class, the ones with the brownie crust and the gooey cheesecake top. (If this was television, you'd see me melting into my chair with drool running out of my mouth and a blissful glazed look in my eye.) And Carol brought oatmeal cookies, soft and luscious oatmeal cookies. The problem with Carol's cookies was that they were cut into 1" squares. And as we all know, cookies that little don't count. They have no calories. So if you eat 3, that's like eating nothing. And if you eat 72, well, hey, 72x0=0, right?

People often leave leftovers from the treats at church, but Carol tells me that Pastor doesn't want all those cookies. He says she's trying to fatten him up. So both Judy and Carol sent cookies with me instead. Oh, and they were good cookies! Gary had a meeting after Bible class, so I stayed at church and worked, and kept popping those too-little-to-have-calories cookies into my mouth. I did have half a bottle of kombucha in the midst of my cookie-munchfest.

Can you say "spoiled appetite"???

In the midst of my genius-child exuberance, one child suggested to another child that mom must've been doing drugs today. That's when I admitted to them (at 8:30 p.m.) that I had had NO food all day, except cookies. Ah. Mom was hopped up on cookies!

Maybe we need some real food today. REAL real-food. And maybe I ought to think about maybe developing a small bit of self-control when it comes to cookies?