From the new Reader's Digest:
For Rachel:
I went to a bookstore and asked the salesman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
For me:
About a month ago, I got a cactus. A week later, it died. How depressing: I'm less nurturing than a desert.
For Glenda (hoping she'll still love me anyway):
I didn't understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. You talk to a couple of NASCAR fans and you'll see where a shiny car driving in a circle would fascinate them all day. I can make fun of NASCAR fans because if they chase me, I just turn right.
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I heard that middle one from one of my favorite stand-up comics... dunno if that's where it originated or what, but it's still hilarious. He told it with a big pad of notebook paper, complete with a picture of the cactus' tombstone. "Here lies Brian, beloved house plant." :D
ReplyDeleteROTFLOL!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, I still love you anyway. :-) But now you'll have to watch a race with me one day. ;-)