The organist wasn't at church on Sunday. So tonight she was asking Pastor how it went: if there had been a substitute or if we'd sung a capella. She mentioned again about how his wife should be trying her hand at accompanying the congregation.
I know she's intending to be encouraging. But it just doesn't come off that way. It's pressure. Unwanted pressure.
There are people who have free time to devote to reading or to learning new things or to hobbies. I would dearly love to spend time learning the organ, or at least getting good enough at piano to be able to accompany the congregation on organless Sundays. I would love to get my German back and learn it well enough to be able to read Gerhardt's hymns without having to puzzle through them auf Deutsch. I would love to have the time to take care of the yard properly and to grow a vegetable garden. Maybe even an orchard and an herb garden and a flower garden. I would love to get my Greek back. I would love to read a book that I want to read to myself, instead of reading only what's necessary for the kids' schoolwork. I would love to sew again. I would love to write articles for magazines and the local newspaper. I would love to catch up on projects (like photo albums). I would love to rest.
But I can't. So I don't. I do what's necessary, just like a lot of other moms. And that's okay. Really, it is. But what makes it hard is when other people presume that I'm as bored as they are, and they have suggestions for what I can be doing in my spare time to "serve others." And what they intended as encouragement just becomes another weight, another load, another discouragement.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
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I know how you feel. Between the kids, everything around here and school work there is no time for anything else it seems. I was looking at getting my resume done and I looked and I'm ashamed at the fact that I have no time for volunteer work and haven't done much other than church things in the last 2 years. But when your life is full of other things there is no time for anything else it seems.
ReplyDeleteAnd if worse comes to all out worst you can always play single-note melody. A cappella is fun, too.
ReplyDeleteKeep serving your kids, and thank you for doing so.
I know of NO ONE who serves others more than you. PLEASE let the comment go. Praying you can put it out your mind.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that she would focus in on you, without your having been an organist.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your husband could suggest that the organist might know of a couple people in the congregation that she could teach some of the basics.
When I was in college, I experienced what it was like to call a pastor. This pastor was a great pastor, and I don't doubt that God meant for him to be there, but the main thing the congregation focused in on was that his wife was an organist, and they didn't have one. When they showed up, she had a three year old who was inclined to hyperactivity and temper tantrums. There was no way that she could play the organ, and some of the people resented that. From that point on, my husband's SET has NO information about me other than generic info about our family as a whole.
I hvae only a minor unstanding so far, as I only have 2 little ones, but I can relate. It is also upsetting when I am constantly being "encouraged" to "find time for yourself", "be Michelle", etc. when right now, this is me, wife to a beloved husband (and pastor, and mom of 2 wonderful blessings. It sometimes makes me more stressed thinking about how to get this "me time" in that I am supposed to have.
ReplyDeleteKirken, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mom and Dan.
Mrs Rebellious, I am the most likely candidate in the congregation to help with the music. I mean, as pitiful as I am, that's just the reality here. And the organist would very much like to be relieved of the stress of being the only one with no replacement in sight.
And I think my husband's SET also has virtually no information about me. Gary has said many a time that if our organist taught me to play, we wouldn't be here long because he'd be getting calls out the wazoo! (Like you said, congregations looking for an organist along with the pastor.)
Michelle, I think that there's a place for getting "me time." But sometimes it is so nice just to take care of the family that it's not a drain. For many years (and even now, most of the time) I found reading to the kids and cooking meals to be "me time" even though it's my work to do it. So when people tell you that you neeeed this, even when you realize you don't, then they are NOT being helpful.