Friday, October 03, 2008

I Am Not Dead

I used a neti-pot and I am not dead!

Raw garlic slices taped to the skin behind my ears.
Raw garlic taped to my throat.
Making turkey soup.
Gargling with Listerine.
Going through cotton hankies like crazy.

You know I'm desperate when I finally phone my daughter and ask her for instructions on how to use a neti pot. No matter how many people I listen to extol the wonders of their neti pots (ahem: Rachel and Anthea) it still seems WRONG to me to pour water up your nose. Isn't that how you DROWN??? So after Rachel told me how to not drown, I proceeded to attempt this death-embracing concept of pouring water up my nose. I told Rachel where the list of insurance policies was. I told her to buy the cheap pine box. And as Maggie watched, asking questions about subtracting clock-times from one another, I hugged her goodbye and told her I'd see her in heaven someday. (She rolled her eyes.)

But now I can breathe out of both nostrils, and am alive to tell the story!

I think I'll have to not-drown myself a few more times today.


  1. Oh my, this made me laugh out loud!!! and then laugh some more! I have never used a netti pot, but one of the Nurse Practitioner's in my office (I am an MD in a former life) swore by it and gave all her patients (and mine) instructions whenever they came in with sinus stuff. They say it is really helpful, but I agree with you that it sounds more like a recipe for drowning. I'm glad to hear you lived through the experience. Hope you feel better soon!


  2. One more question, Rachel. If the point of this is to rinse all that snot out of my sinuses, then what about the rinse water coming out? Hanging my head upside down over the sink, the water is running across my face and into my bangs. And isn't it full of snot? This is just really spine-shivering gross to think about!

  3. Well, Catharine, I gotta say, I think your nurse practitioner had a point. Boy, does my head feel better!

    And for Rachel, I do believe the garlic taped behind my ears is even more effective than the garlic slices taped to my voicebox. Just thought you might like to know. :-)

  4. How does this work, exactly?

    Maybe if Katie did it, then she wouldn't snore at night and keep me up...

    I mean, uh, I love my wife so much that I want her to be able to breathe freely with no hindrances whatsoever. Yes...

  5. It's miserable, but it works.

    We've got chest gunk coming on here at our house - probably exacerbated by the irritation of several weeks of allergies. I want to be able to sing for Reformation!

  6. Hi Susan,

    I hope you're able to sleep well to fight this bug.

    I must thank you for the suggestion about the What We Eat series. I received it through inter-library loan and dd and I are enjoying it. I wish we had it more than one week, but the university that loaned it only grants one week.

  7. Nathan, I don't know how to describe it over the internet. Basically, you've got something like a teapot full of warm saltwater. You bend way over and pour the saltwater into your sinuses, and it flows out the other nostril, rinsing the insides of your head. I think it would help Katie a LOT. But people have been telling me the same thing for years, and I had to get pretty desperate before I decided to give it a go today.

    By the way, Andrew loved how you phrased your selfless, loving, caring question. LOL! A neti-pot, however, will do absolutely nothing for kicking. So I'm not sure it'll garner you a good night's sleep.

  8. Marie, I've not been sleeping as much as I should, so I finally decided that I was napping this afternoon.

    I know what you mean about the short interlibrary loan periods. I was thrilled to see that we had a two-week loan of the series. That would've required only one episode a day -- if we'd kept at it like we should instead of getting distracted with other things like math or read-alouds or pruning trees. As it was, I think we watched 7 episodes on the last three days. Oh well, that's only an hour of the show per day.

  9. If the water is getting in your bangs, you might want to try tilting your chin up just a tad more- when I neti my nose the water tends to just come straight out as though my nostril were a teapot spout itself.

    I SAID you wouldn't drown...

    I had to be desperate before I tried the neti pot, too. I was about ready to just scream and rip my face off, but instead I drove to the health food store and bought a pot.

  10. Oh, it has nothing to do with kicking. As the pregnancy goes on, Katie's sinuses (especially at night) are getting worse. This has caused for... well, some pretty LOUD (as in, when I went to sleep on the couch one night it still sounded like she was in the room with me) snoring.

    I know it also can't be good for her. Maybe if I do it first and show her that, see, you don't drown, she'll do it. For some reason, the idea of it doesn't bother me at all.

  11. I work for a family practioner and he recommend the neti pot as well. I haven't had occasion to be desperate enough to use it because it just sounds wrong!

    Glad to hear you are getting relief from it.

  12. I went and bought it today. And tried it. And even though I'm not having any major allergy problems right now, I don't think I realized just how much I'd gotten used to my sinuses not being clear. The difference is amazing. I love this thing. It shall be my new friend, and I will call it Fred, and I will use it until the day I die...

    Seriously, though. This is REALLY good.

  13. This is funny Susan! David got desperate in August when he had strep and sinuses driving him nuts. I mentioned the netti and we googled it and he gave it a go. Unfortunately we don't own a netti-pot so we used a funnel (aka a you-tube demo we saw of a 12 yr old boy) and although it didn't work great - he could tell a difference from the little that did go through. So now next time I'm at a health food store, guess what I'll buy?

  14. Nathan, I'm waving hello at Fred. I hope Katie likes Fred too.

    Glenda, we don't have a real neti pot either. But Gary got a "Rinse Aid" from a doctor that I'm using. It's effectually the same thing, although it's shaped quite differently.

    Paula, as wrong as it sounds, it sure does help.

    Rachel, I think because of the amount of blockage in my sinuses right now, I have a choice of holding my head WAY upside-down OR having the saltwater drain out through my mouth instead of my nose. Thus the dribbling on my bangs.

  15. Nathan: Isn't it just amazing? I've never really had severe sinus problems outside of colds, and it still makes a huge difference in my breathing.

    Mine is shaped like an elephant head, and I just call it Netty. Not very original... but it is cute, for a "drowing" implement.