Self-Esteem

We tell little kids that each and every one of them could grow up to be president. For 3-4 decades we've been telling little girls that they can grow up to "have it all" -- family, career, self-fulfillment, etc. We praise people who "give 110%." (That drives me nuts. It's impossible to give 110%. A price can be 110% of the former price. Population growth can be 110%. But effort expended cannot be more than 100%.)

I realize it is good to set high goals and work for them. But do we set the bar so high in so many areas that our society is creating unreasonable expectations? Have we encouraged too many people to reach for perfection in too many areas of life? There was that news story last week that showed woman have significantly less "happiness" than men. Women are the ones trying to keep the jobs going and the house clean and the children nurtured and the volunteerism coordinated, ad infinitum. But today's women are the ones who were brainwashed as little girls that we could have it all. Men weren't told that. And men tend to be happier than women these days.

Reaching for lofty goals is a good thing. Reaching for unattainable goals is damaging. "Be all that you can be." "Have you done all you can to make it happen?" "Work to the best of your ability." What's sad is that we don't want to admit that this [whatever it is] is "all that I can do." We always think we could do a little more, be a little more organized, be a little more efficient, be a little more hard-working. If we could just do a little more, we know we could make it happen [whatever it is]. But sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes doing "all you can" isn't enough to change things out of your control.

But thanks to the feminists of the 60s and 70s, few women today can accept that.