Slave to the To-Do List

I make lists. I must. I have no memory. I remember a friend telling me once that list-making wasn't good. If it was important, you'd remember it. For example, you remember to make dinner every day without its being on the list. (Actually, I've gotten so busy and so forgetful these days, that I do have to put "dinner" on the to-do list.) She didn't make grocery lists either; if it was important, she'd remember to buy it. And if she forgot, and if it was important enough to need, she'd just go back to the store. That's definitely easier for someone to say when she lives 2 minutes from a variety of stores. For me, running to town to pick up what I forgot will cost me two hours and $7 in gas.



Tena has been writing about her new venture of homeschooling -- the days that go well and the days that make you want to pull your hair out and run screaming to the airport to escape to a new (and lonely) life in the Bahamas. Life has interfered with her well-laid homeschooling plans, but she's dealing with it, and putting the priorities where they belong (such as the new roof on the house).

Why can't I do that any more?

I used to know that the learning that happened with LIFE was more important than the schoolbooks. I simply couldn't comprehend the idea of people turning down an opportunity for a really cool fieldtrip because they had seatwork to accomplish with the kids. I couldn't understand how real-life learning could be supplanted by the all-important textbook.

But now I'm falling into that trap.

"Help me! I've fallen, and I can't get up!"


We have taken to making to-do lists for school. One child will keep up with his work quite well, as long as I've got a detailed check-list for him to follow. Another child will keep plugging away at his master-list for high-school requirements, trying to get finished in a timely way so as to get on to the next step in life. The youngest child loves to check things off her list ... even if she's not exactly doing the things on the list. If certain students need micro-managing, I don't have the energy to keep straight all the micro-managing swirling around in my brain and coming out my voice. Some of the micro-managing must be relegated to The List.

But then that list has power. Too much power. A power that I don't approve of, and yet am enslaved to, somehow.

I spent over 6 hours driving on Wednesday. Today will be nearly 6 hours by the time I crash into bed tonight. There are problems with the septic, so yesterday was spent trying to identify the problem, and today was dealing with repairmen. Philip has been getting "lessons" in vehicle shopping. Today the purchase was made, and he got lessons in sizable business transactions and then doing what must be done to appease the government and give them their cut. One little girl garnered herself the biggest punishment she ever had in her short life. Then there's laundry and cooking and bread-baking and job. (Forget the cleaning.)

And still,
all the while,
The List sits there with its silent demands
that math be done
and history be discussed
and physics be studied
and currents events be read
and so forth and so on.

On the one hand, buying Philip's car and fixing the septic is higher priority than today's physics sub-chapter. (Just as Tena was saying about their roof being more important than textbook lessons.) And yet, that basic academic stuff gets relegated to the back burner all too easily. That's okay when the kids are interested in life and learning and books. But if they're not.... well, then, somebody somewhere sometime has to divert their attention from the Veg-Out Screen. Even when Real Life comes calling with its incessant demands. Somebody once told me that it's all about the urgent usurping the place of what is most important. But the urgent needs are "urgent" for a reason.

And I just don't know how to deal with the conundrum.