Saturday, January 05, 2013

Consternation over Hair

Do you scan the bookshelves of people you're getting to know?  When you're visiting a friend, do you check out the front of the refrigerator door?  If there's a scheduling calendar or a to-do list prominently displayed, do you notice it?  

What we see tells us a lot about who that person is.  

So, I've lost a lot of hair over the past year or two.  A lot.   My ponytail looks thin like a rat tail.  My bun is tiny and flat.  My hair looks scraggly when it's down.  I need a haircut.  Not 6" trimmed off.  But a completely different haircut.  A haircut that works with old-lady hair.

And I don't want one!    [waaaaahhhh!]

Everybody says, "It's just hair."  
Everybody says, "You can always grow it back."
Everybody says, "It will be fine."

But my boring hairstyle that I've had for 20+ years says something about who I am.  It reveals who I am just like my refrigerator door and the contents of my bookshelves.

Okay, so gazillions of American women change their hairstyle and their hair color every few months or every couple of years.  That's great.  But it's not me.  So I'm, like, having this identity crisis over the upcoming appointment for the haircut, fully anticipating a week or more of mourning.

And everybody thinks I'm silly. 


  1. Are you sure we didn't come from the same parents? You describe me to a t. Last summer daughter Sarah and dil Rachel talked me into cutting 6 inces. When daughter Crista saw it she burst into tears. Six mo out it seems to not have grown at all.

    I'm not the younger woman whose thick hair reached my waist...That was 15 years ago. I miss her.

  2. Finding a new hair style is tough when your hair changes. So many styles are simply too young or strange. Mine hasn't thinned much, but it no longer behaves the way it did when I was younger. The old familiar style just doesn't look good any more. I don't have any advice, but I do understand your dilemma.

  3. I have lost alot of hair, too. Most people don't realize it, though. I have not noticed your hair loss. To me it looks like it always has. One would probably only notice it if they would look at pictures of you from 20 years ago. (So don't go posting those!) Have you tried doing what you always do and maybe using a curling iron or blow dryer to get the look you want? Maybe you can still do a pony tail and try something different with your bangs? Have you tried pulling it all back with a headband? You could supplement with biotin (I am BTW). It is supposed to help with hair and nails. I have also been using a generic form of Rogaine just in my crown area for years. I just use it once a day (not twice) and I believe it has kept me from going almost bald in that area. I can see new hair growing all the time (just not at the levels as when I was younger). Aging is NOT fun at all, but there may be some other things to try besides a totally new haircut.

  4. Brenda, it's crossed my mind that my hair might not grow back. So I hope I get used to the new haircut and eventually grow to like it.

    Karen, thanks.

    Laura, this is me: I'm not inclined to use chemicals, Rogaine or color or otherwise. Also, I tried bangs-less yesterday and the previous evening. It's not horrible horrible. Just quasi-horrible. Whenever I look at old pictures, the ones I look worst in are when my bangs were grown out.

    As for using a curling iron or blow dryer, it's very important to me not to have to spend much time getting dressed in the morning. It's overwhelming to me to think of needing even 5 minutes with a curling iron or a blow dryer each day. And it's not so much the look that troubles me (although a drastic change in appearance isn't making me happy) but it's the thinness and all the other Aging Stuff that's bothering me (such as inability to open jars, weakness, bursitis, etc).

  5. I don't think you're silly.

  6. I don't think you're silly, either. A woman's hair is a big feature of her appearance; there are even Bible verses about it! Yes, they may be negative, but they deal with a fact. You KNOW your self-worth is not measured in the appearance of your hair, but you also know that others' impressions of you will be based, in part, on your appearance. And you would like a good one, no? So, boldly go to the salon and let her/him style away. Just don't be like me; I've always been too intimidated to ask them how to style it, and it never looked as good when I did it! Once I started asking, well, it's not perfect, but it looks better than before!

  7. (And, Susan, it bugs the heck out of me that i now have to ask people to open jars for me. I'm regretting that I donated the jar opener when Grandma passed away!)