Sunday, December 18, 2011

Facing It Again

In theory, if you've already been through something bad once, you should know that you managed to survive it. Then why is it that the prospect of enduring the same thing again (such as the death of a loved one, or a toothache) is so daunting? Why does the fear of having to face those pains again seem even worse than having faced them the first time?

It's dumb. It's just dumb.
But that doesn't mean it's not real.


  1. I don't think it's dumb at all. Just because you managed to survive it doesn't mean you came out unscathed. And because you have been through it before you know what you're in for. You are also smart enough to know that no experience is exactly alike, nor are you exactly the same person you were (speaking of not coming out unscathed) when you went through it the last time. So there are questions and unknowns. And then there's the waiting, which for worrying types can sometimes be as bad as the thing itself. So I think it makes complete sense to be afraid. But then worrying is what I do. And like you, I kick myself for doing it. Sigh.

  2. Because you remember how hard that journey was.

    Are you still as strong as you were? Will the stress pile up too high? Why do I have to do this again?

    Even ranging down to the piddly painful or annoying things in life that repeat, I still find myself wondering all those things.

  3. Susan,

    This makes me think of childbirth. The first one wasn't as scary as all the rest because I didn't really know what it was like. Fortunately, the end result for us was always happy. That doesn't mean I looked forward to the process of getting to the joy.

    Those difficult times we survive don't necessarily makes us ready for the next difficult time.


  4. Actually, for me, childbirth was the opposite. I deluded myself into thinking I did so well the first time, that I could do the same the next time.
    We all must learn lessons of humility one way or another I guess.

    (fixing some bad spelling errors)

  5. You are making me fear your next post, Susan. God grant you strength for what's coming.

  6. Sandy, it's no big deal. For me right now, it's just a broken tooth. No big deal, right? (But it took me a month before my last crown stopped hurting, and that was after 10 weeks of waiting before the dentist could do the repair.) And Gary is starting a problem with boils that took Katie years to get over. So it's nothing big and important. But I'm a wuss who doesn't want to do these things again.

  7. Hooray! I'm back from the dentist. He said the tooth isn't broken. I just damaged the ligament. It will heal. It will hurt for 1-6 weeks, but it will heal.

  8. Yay, that is about the healing, not about the hurting!

  9. Oh yay! But broken teeth are a big deal. Rob has some major tooth issues right now. Major especially for the pocketbook, because our dental insurance is minimal. He's had one tooth pulled and a wisdom tooth cut out, and there's still more to come. We're opting for more teeth out and a partial plate because the other options are completely unaffordable.

    On top of that, he has to have cataracts removed. Left eye tomorrow. Out-patient, but general anesthesia. Second one three weeks later.

  10. The things you brought to mind for me as I read this (bouts of depression, epilepsy) make me answer your question this way:

    I didn't "manage" to get through them. I did get through those things, but only because I was carried, and He who carried me... well, He didn't protect me from all the hurt.

    I've been to the very end of myself, and I would have lost hope if there were no God who actually helps.

    I fear when I consider my resources to face "it" again, because I know they are not sufficient. But God is, and I can trust Him to help if "it" happens again, just like He did last time.

    Can't help hoping it doesn't come to that though!

  11. Sandy, we're in for more dental bills than we're used to -- Maggie's going to be having her wisdom teeth extracted and I still need a couple of crowns. (The news yesterday was that they're not needed Right This Minute.) The eye doctor also told us that cataract surgery is coming, but not yet. Sorry to hear that Rob is already to that point. I hope it goes well and that he enjoys having the bright colors back!

    Emily, that's it exactly. God's version of help is not necessarily my version of comfort. And the sinful flesh never wants to face the hurt and/or sacrifice.