Friday, November 26, 2010

Shoe Shopping

If someone were on heart medicine or depression medication or a thyroid prescription, I suspect people would understand if the person was worried about going off his medicine. How is this going to work? What's going to happen to me? How will I cope with the changes? But I don't think the person would be told that the medicine was just a crutch or that "everybody else manages without it."

We have found ways to cope with Maggie's vcfs, poverty [well, y'know, American-style poverty], depression, foot pain, and assorted health problems that came from living in The House Of Mildew. Thing is, quite a few of those coping mechanisms are out-the-window with my starting a job. That makes me nervous. We've got some problems to solve. Hopefully, having the whole family pitch in with the work and cutting back on the standards will help resolve some issues. There needs to be some serious reconsideration of Maggie's education, goals, methods, resources, support, etc. Ack -- thinking! Ack -- decisions!

But I think one problem is solved -- the shoes. I have spent between 20 and 25 hours shoe-shopping in the last week. (I hate shopping.) I buy shoes, bring 'em home, wear 'em indoors for an hour, and take 'em back. Driving home from the shoe store again on Wednesday, I was ready to phone the bank and tell them to give the job to somebody else: it was too overwhelming to consider going back to the world of that much pain in my feet and legs. But hooray hooray -- I found something online that looks like it should work. The H.R. Dept at the bank okayed the shoes for being professional enough; the shoes are nearly as flat as my tennies; they are open-toed with adjustable straps in the vicinity of my bunions; and [ta da!!] they will accommodate the orthoses I wear in my tennies all day every day. I am utterly overjoyed at the prospect of wearing something that's not going to have me in tears at the end of the day, that's not going to require pain meds and ice packs every evening.

Somehow, this is a massive relief. The other problems no longer seem insurmountable. (Lord, have mercy: I sure do hope that these shoes turn out to be what I expect them to be, and not too short.)

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