Twelve Ways To Maintain Your Sanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair-dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom at work. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Put decaf in the coffee-maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
4. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds."
5. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
6. Order a "diet water" whenever you go out to eat, and do it with a serious face.
7. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
8. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
9. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle and play tropical sounds all day.
10. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
11. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
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12. Always face the back of the elevator when riding in one.
ReplyDeleteBut if we add that one, we'd have to change the title...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the daily laughs! I look forward to them.
ReplyDeleteLove 'em! (But #3 wouldn't work on me. I'd know.)
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I admire & love about my husband is that he actually does stuff like this. Outside one of the entrances of our church school there's a parking lot with circular drive for dropping kids off. I remember an occasion when we went to enter the building during off hours using that entrance. There was a family on the playground next to the building. Just for fun, my husband circled around that circular drive about 10 times before parking while the people on the playground watched and I'm sure wondered if he had lost his mind.
I can't do stuff like this. I'm too self-conscious. And I have absolutely no "poker face."