Bad Puns

The human cannonball told the circus owner that he had to retire. He was too old to go on, night after night, being shot across the tent, into the net. But the owner objected, "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
Because he wanted to make up for a lousy summer.

Why was the archeologist depressed?
Because his career was in ruins.

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.

Why should you never fly with Peter Pan?
Because you'll never never land.