Suuuuuure We Communicate Here

We're having company on Friday night. Rachel's boyfriend's family is coming over. Sounds good. At Didache on Monday night, Rachel (my oldest daughter) and Matt (her boyfriend) invited Katie (my second daughter) to join us on Friday night for the festivities. It was naturally assumed by all involved that of course Nathan (Katie's husband) is also invited. So at lunch yesterday, the conversation got convoluted. If anybody ever wanted to see an action plan for How Rumors Start, he ought to observe our family communicate for a while.

Mom to Dad: Rachel and Matt invited Katie to come on Friday night.

Kid #6 to Mom: What about Nathan?

Mom to kid #6: I don't know. What about Nathan?

Kid #6: Why can't Nathan come?

Mom to kid #6: Who said Nathan can't come?

Kid #5 (around the corner in another room): Nathan can't come????

Mom to kid #5: Who said Nathan can't come?

Kid #5: WHY can't Nathan come?

Mom: Nobody said Nathan can't come! They didn't invite Nathan on Monday night because Nathan wasn't there at class to invite. They invited Katie, and she will...

Kid #6 (interrupting Mom): They didn't invite Nathan??

Mom: They didn't talk to Nathan on Monday because Nathan wasn't at class. That doesn't mean he's not allowed to come with Katie.

Kid #4 (relishing the chance to tweak younger people): Nathan wasn't at class. That means he didn't come.

Kid #6: WHY can't Nathan come??

Mom to kid #6: Nathan didn't come on MONDAY night. He can come on Friday night.

Dad (joining in with kid #4's tweaking): Why can't Nathan come?

And so forth and so on. After all this, some of us were laughing hard enough that there were tears in our eyes. We finally managed to get a grip on ourselves, breathe deeply, get everybody straightened out on the Monday night situation as well as the Friday night invitations, and start clearing the table.

So, after church on Wednesday, we're sitting around eating cheesecake ... as well as fighting with cardboard boxes in an attempt to overpower their newfangled technology. Rachel proceeds to tell us that Matt invited his brother Greg for Friday night too. And she invited Katie. End of statement.

Mom: You invited Katie. Matt invited Greg. Uh, Matt IS aware, isn't he?, that Katie is married? We don't need to set her up with his brother.

Rachel: I didn't say that!

Mom: Sure sounded like it to me. You've got two people inviting two other people of the opposite sex. Sounds like attempted matchmaking. But Katie's already taken.

Rachel: What's with the matchmaking?? There's no matchmaking. Nathan is coming on Friday night.

Kid #4 (still tweaking): Who says Nathan is coming on Friday? I thought Nathan wasn't coming.

Kid #5: Wait! Nathan isn't coming? But I thought you said he WAS!

Rachel: Yes, Nathan is coming.

Dad (still tweaking): But did you invite him on Monday night?

Rachel: No, he wasn't there.

Mom (tweaking too): See, he wasn't there. You didn't invite him.

Kid #6: WHY didn't you invite Nathan?

Mom (still tweaking): I think we should invite Nathan so he knows what's going on.

By this point, most of us from the lunch conversation are laughing uproariously, while Rachel is getting more and more confused. We proceeded to explain how the earlier conversation had gone, and how her comments just re-ignited the whole thing, along with geniune confusion on the part of the youngest member of the family.

They say good families communicate.

Oops.