Saturday, November 12, 2011

One of the Best Articles I've Seen on Raising Kids

Don't let the website address for this article put you off. It's a very long article, but it addresses a common struggle -- especially among homeschoolers. How do parents balance their training of a child with their unconditional love for the child? And does the message of that unconditional love of the parents actually get through to the kid?

The same problem pops up frequently in information put out for parents of special needs kids. The social workers and nurses keep telling the parents to love their child, not to treat them according to their disability. And yet, everything you run into from doctors and therapists and teachers is that the child is a project. A project to be conquered, to be tweaked, to be perfected insofar as can be done. But the child isn't a project. The child is a person. A person made in the image of God. A person who has strengths and weaknesses, joys and sorrows, just like all the rest of us.

The article isn't perfect. But the author is at least heading in the right direction.


  1. I hadn't read it until now, even though it's been "making the rounds." Wow. It is very good.

  2. Thanks for sharing that link. I'd read the longer version a while back but had forgotten about it. I agree it's not a perfect article but it addresses some issues that are still very prevalent, from what I see and hear when amongst homeschoolers.

    As for children being "projects," it's very challenging to avoid that mindset when you have a special needs child. Every professional seems to think that way. You're so right, we must maintain our view of our child as a person.

  3. One more thing that I remember thinking the first time I read that article. Despite many good points, it still seems to infer that if we do things just right, all will be well.

    But here's the thing: if God's children rebel against Him, perfect parent that He is, why do we think our efforts can create children who won't rebel against us? God has His own plans for each of our children, and the road will be more challenging for some than others (and often it's of their own making). Perhaps God knows that's the only way they'll learn: by suffering through their own foolish choices.

    Our society puts such a huge emphasis on being a great parent. But many kids with lousy/absent parents grow up just fine. Maybe we're not as important as we think!

  4. Barbara, I skimmed the longer version before I posted the link, and it seemed to me that the longer version came off more with that mindset than the shorter version to which I linked. Thanks for pointing out how even good parents may have rebellious kids, and lousy parents may have wonderful kids!