Friday, January 05, 2007

A Mess

Trust me on this: it is a bad plan to break a liter-sized bottle of olive oil in your trunk, amongst all the other groceries. No. No. I know you want to go try it, just to see if I'm really telling the truth. But really, you should trust me on this. You don't have to test out the veracity of my claim.

If a liter of olive oil is disgorged into a paper grocery-sack, you get to wash every can and bottle in that sack, in very hot and soapy water, before you can put the groceries away. You also will have a big sticky stain on the carpet in the car's trunk. And you will drip olive oil all over the garage floor. Furthermore, no matter how careful you are with the mess, you will of course get way too much olive oil splashed on the kitchen counters and kitchen floor. (Naturally, this spillage will occur only an hour after someone at home mops the kitchen floor while you were fetching the groceries which you decided to slather with olive oil on your way home.)

Unless you stockpile paper towels in your home, you will use up the whole roll of disposable towels in an effort to get olive oil off the kitchen steps, off the kitchen cupboard doors, out of the bottom of the trash can, off the bumper of the car, and off the doorknobs.

And while you are cleaning up this mess, you will overcook the hamburgers for lunch. Which means you also get to spend half an hour scrubbing the broiler pan to remove charred barbecue sauce. Furthermore, the soles of your shoes will be well-greased so that you can skate across the kitchen floor, whether you want to slipslide around or not.

In a few days, today's events will be funny. :-) And I'm sure it was very good for my hands to be doused in that much olive oil for as long as it took me to clean up that mess.
But nevertheless, don't let that tempt you to try it!

11 comments:

  1. Yes, I'm e-vile. I giggled. *I* of course would not enjoy that in the slightest but of course I would never do such a thing! ::coughsarcasmcough::

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  2. Hmmm-I think I'm glad I buy mine in gallon cans. :)

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  3. Your hands shall feel baby soft now. ;-) How are you ever going to remove that from the truck of your car? But remember this, something worse could have happened. :-)

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  5. Hmmm... the only thing that seems out of sorts is the barbecue sauce on the hamburgers... but, then againk that might taste good. We'll have to try it. (Without all the slippery stuff, of course!)

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  6. Anna, you evil girl. Someday I'm going to laugh back at you!

    Jane, right now, the gallon tins are costing about $7-11/liter, and the glass bottles are $5/liter. I used to get the tins, but now they only have the swankier name brands in the big containers.

    Kirken, I think I'm going to take the floor out of the trunk and see what can be done if I set to scrubbing it on the basement floor.

    Elizabeth, you don't ever put bbq sauce on burgers???? What DO you put bbq sauce on?

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  7. One cleaner that DH and I have found is from Rustolium. (ya I can't spell) It is in a green spray can and it will take anything out. It takes out crude oil which is virtually impossible to remove. You only need a light spray and then uses warm soapy water to remove. The nice thing is it also smells like oranges not harsh like most industrial cleaner. This might help you with the cleaning department. :-)

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  8. We put barbecue sauce on any kind of pork, beef ribs, sometimes on stringy roast beef. But aside from ribs, very rarely on beef.

    You've given me FOOD for though... LOL!

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  9. I can top your story, Susan. Once, I left a pound of hamburger in my trunk. Somehow it got buried under the mat in the trunk. Over the winter, it wasn't much of a problem, but when spring came it started to thaw out and stunk to high heaven. I couldn't figure out what that terrible smell was until I got a flat tire and had to get the spare out. Whew!

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  10. Oh no!

    You’re supposed to put barbecue sauce on things? (I eat it by spoonfuls scraped from the pot to enjoy every last bit when I make up a batch!)

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  11. Stinky stuff in the car. Once dh transported freshly butchered chickens home in the back seat of his car and they didn't quite fit in the coolers. THe lid was slightly ajar and.....dh sent me on 'an emergency trip' to a friends to get back a baby scale I had loaned to them YEARS ago so he could weigh these dear birds. Well.....I didn't know they were back there until I went around a corner quickly and they all flew out of the cooler onto the seats along with all the lovely juice. It smelled a lot like that lovely hamburger story a few comments back. We were regular customers of Target car fresheners and I think the stench is finally gone. Yes, we attempted to clean up the mess.

    Karin

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