Sunday, August 03, 2014

Empty Nesting

I miss Andrew.

No, I'm not sitting around pining for him, wishing he hadn't gotten married and moved out.  By "missing him" I mean that I keep forgetting that he doesn't live here.

We're ready to go to bed.  It's a night Andrew is scheduled to work.  Better unlock the porch door and turn on the light so that he can come through the door easily in half an hour, after we're asleep.  Whoops -- no! -- he's not coming home here.

Last Tuesday morning, only two leftover sandwiches remained from the wedding.  Maggie asks, "Mom, shall I leave one of these for your lunch?"  "No, I had one for breakfast already.  But you shouldn't eat them both.  Leave one for your brother."  "Uh, Mom ... he doesn't live here any more.  He's not going to be around to eat the sandwich."  Oh.  Yes.  That would be true.  Hmm.

I need an errand run (and I am still on the post-seizure driving-ban).  That's okay: I can ask Andrew to pick something up for me later in the day.  Oops.  Wait.  He's not here running his own errands and thus able to slip in an extra stop for me. 

I awake in the morning and see that Maggie's bedroom door is standing wide open.  Her bed is neatly made.  Andrew's bedroom door is closed; he must still be asleep.  I can't find Maggie anywhere in the house.  Eventually I realize that Andrew's bedroom is now Maggie's bedroom, and she is still in bed, behind that closed door.

How long until I stop being surprised that Andrew doesn't live here any more?

And by the way, do you realize how little food 
is required for only three people?  Freeeaky!! 
How little cooking; how few dishes; how little 
laundry?  It seems unreal.


  1. I went through this the entire week Evan was at camp. Kept having to remind myself he wasn't here. Went through it last year when Phillip was gone all those months, although it did finally sink in that he wasn't around. I don't remember how long it took to internalize "no husband in the house." I have gotten used to transitioning between "Trevor home" and "Trevor not home." I am not sure what to expect in a few weeks when we both Caitlin and Trevor leave and we rapidly go from six to four. Like you said: freaky!

  2. The others were home when Evan was at camp, right? Or were you alone alone? I think you're right about the "Trevor home" versus "Trevor not home." That's sort of what it was like for us when Rachel married. She had SO much "not home" (between working 45 minutes away and visiting friends and going out) that we were quite used to "Rachel not home" even before she moved out. Katie and Paul didn't live here when they married. So my biggies were when kids went off to college and now again with Andrew's marriage.

    I hope your transition to two colleges goes well!

  3. Yes, I think everyone else was here the whole week of camp. With Evan I think it was a matter of turning off the mommy antenna. He's young enough that I still keep track of where he is and what he's doing pretty much all the time. I would catch myself suddenly thinking, "I need to check on Evan" and then realize that no, I didn't!