On my second day of training at my new job, my mentor took me aside and told me that I had to stop talking to myself. She said that a couple of customers had given me odd looks while I was rehearsing to myself which step to take next in processing transactions. Sometimes the computer prompted me to insert a certain slip of paper into the printer, and I would pick up the wrong one, and then I told myself, "No, not the pink ticket, but the blue one."
Apparently, that is verboten.
People should not talk to themselves.
It was hard! I had spent decades narrating my life to children. That is a big part of how kids learn: Mom explains what she's doing and why and what the steps are. And then, when you homeschool kids, you have to discuss a gazillion different subjects, reading, dissecting, analyzing, postulating, all day, about nearly everything that comes into your life.
On top of that, I have found that I can focus better when I hear things and talk my way through new situations. I don't think that's so unusual, do you? I mean, maybe I ought not need that, but it helps with problem-solving in unfamiliar territory.
I worked hard to bite my lip at work and not let myself verbalize my way through the day.
It was SO good, then, when I repeatedly noticed my boss doing the exact same thing I'd been told to put a halt to. I'm not getting in trouble now for the times I slip up and talk to myself. And it's a good thing, because I still want to make use of the teaching tool of talking my way through the day!
I wonder about other people. Have you found that raising toddlers and/or homeschooling has nudged you into the world of talking to yourself? Is it normal for people to talk to themselves (and the refrigerator, and the laundry basket, and the toothbrush, and the grocery cart) more as they get older?
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I don't know about older, but I've done that for years, usually when I'm alone. Sometimes I get weird looks, too.
ReplyDeleteI had problems with that while working. It's just not okay for some reason to talk to yourself (or the computer, or notebook, etc.).
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long time to recover from the not-talking that was required in the workplace to the nice mommy-talking that is good for having a baby/toddler around.
My son talks to himself whenever he does math or other stuff requiring lots of concentration. What is interesting, though, is that my husband learned in some of his Education classes that auditory learners in particular learn better by verbally repeating things to themselves and by talking themselves through problem-solving. That's just one more good thing about homeschooling. And if my son's talking is bothering my daughter, I just have her go in another room or put in headphones.
ReplyDeleteSounds like Catherine and I are alike. Thank goodness for homeschooling. My daughter has to talk things through to problem solve. My son often wears headphones to help block her soft problem solving. I think out loud as well. My husband says I have done it even before kids and homeschooling. I am very detail oriented and it helps me make sure I've done all the steps.
ReplyDeleteI talk through things all the time at work! I am still learning and I need to talk it out. Sometimes I am actually talking to someone as I go over things...sometimes it is just me. IT HELPS ME GREATLY to hear what I am doing. No one thinks it is crazy...no one has ever said anything. You should hear all the sighing that that happens during the day...we deal with LOTS of issues...and I think 4 out of 5....sigh...which I do not do at home. Funny how we deal with things verbally.
ReplyDeleteI have to talk through everything when Audrey is around because she's constantly asking "whattchu doing? why? what's that? where are you going?", etc. When it's just me, I'm silent.
ReplyDeleteMeghan, I don't think I talked to myself as much 30 years ago. But after all those years of answering questions "whattchu doing? why?" the talking has become a significant part of me. Maybe it would have been, anyway?, had I not been forced to be quiet in school.
ReplyDeleteCatherine, I agree with you about the need for auditory learners to verbalize what they're learning. I'm not sure if I'm auditory or not; I've found that I often have to "re-hear" in my mind something someone says to me (say, for example, what Pastor says in the confessional) for it to get past my ears to my brain, like as if there's a disconnect between hearing it and hearing it. But maybe that's why the verbalizing at work helps ... it gets the words past that barrier.
I don't talk to myself a lot, but I do tell everyone what I'm doing. Yesterday, my 18 year old told me that I didn't NEED to tell her when I was going to the bathroom. She could live without me for a few minutes!
ReplyDeleteI talk to myself all the time... I seem to be the only one who always listens... hahaha. Sometimes it is helpful to just say what it is, for me lately telling myself how I feel has been really therapeutic. And I am constantly talking to myself while I do things... and talking to my cat while I do things. Perhaps it's practicing for when I have children. :)
ReplyDeleteI talk to myself nearly constantly - no children for me yet, but I suppose helping to raise my younger brother could be the equivalent? Usually I manage to suppress such tendencies when people I know are around. :)
ReplyDelete