Right to Die?

It's one thing to sit in the living room and debate living wills, assisted suicide, and medical treatment at the end of life.

It's one thing to recognize that medical technology can extend life when it ought not do so.

But how do we avoid "assisted suicide" (aka, murder) while also avoiding unnecessarily prolonging the life of someone who is suffering and dying?  Sometimes it's very hard for those who value life to make sense of when to stop providing life-prolonging treatment for a loved one.

Lutherans for Life has a page about "advance directives."  One statement is especially helpful:

The problem we see in the so-called "right to die" movement is that there is a shift in the discussion.  Instead of discussing whether a treatment is excessively burdensome to a person -- that is, whether it is doing more harm than good -- more and more people are discussing whether the person is a burden.  They advocate removing or stopping treatment with the intent of killing the person.

That's the crux of it.
Is the treatment excessively burdensome to the patient?
Or is the patient a burden to the caregivers and society?

Furthermore, "burdensome to the patient" is not about quality of life so much as it is about whether the treatment "does more harm than good."

No Greater Joy

My favorite sympathy card arrived today.  I had the biggest, silliest grin on my face as I read it.  There was nothing silly about the card, but the joy I found in that card was so overwhelming that I couldn't help but laugh with delight.  And pretty soon, as I continued to think on it while washing dishes, my eyes began to tear up. 

In his third epistle John says, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in the truth."

My goddaughter quoted a hymn for me.  Only four stanzas because that's all that fit on the back of the card.  "All Christians Who Have Been Baptized ...."  Oh my goodness!  What better hymn when a person faces death -- her own or the death of a loved one? And there were so many awesome bits of her note.

But the best part of all?  The line on the card said, "May friends comfort you, faith uphold you, and loving memories heal your heart."  She crossed out "loving memories" and wrote in "Jesus."

[Oh, shoot.  Now I'm starting to get misty-eyed again.]

She said she didn't like the part about loving memories bringing healing.  So she adjusted the wording. 




John's right.
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in the truth.

Blessed Are the Dead Who Die in the Lord

My mom died last weekend.  It so happened to be exactly 25 years after the death of my goddaughter.  Funeral and burial were this week.

Random thoughts:

Mom's family is awesome.  I have the funnest cousins in the world, and some mighty nifty uncles and aunts.

When my daughter-in-law saw a picture of Mom (in a swimsuit) in her late teens (one of the photos that Dad took with him when he went off to his military stint), Mandy said, "Paul, your grandma was a fox!"  For some reason, Paul did not appreciate this perspective.

The nurses in the oncology dept are superb.  Is it because they're more used to people dying?  Or maybe it's just the individual nurses we happened to encounter.  In my opinion, they outshone the nurses on other floors.

I'm impressed by the funeral home.  They're not "slick."  They have been genuine and helpful and kind.

Boy oh boy, I heard over and over and over from visitors how nice Mom was, how sweet, how they'd never met anyone so kind.  (Yup.  Pretty good assessment, that's for sure.)

I guess I'd never realized (until talking with Pastor while making funeral arrangements) that Mom didn't really have any hobbies.  She was at church for everything.  She invested a lot of time in her family.  She had her job.  And other than that, she helped people.  She didn't have time for hobbies and interests: she was too busy providing assistance others.

We didn't eat ham-buns at the funeral dinner.  (The funeral was obviously not in Wisconsin.)  County Market makes phenomenal chicken.  Delicious call on my sister's part to go with the chicken instead of the sandwiches.  Mmm mmm mmm.

Isn't it amazing that God gives pastors who will minister to those who are sick and dying?  Men who will come even when it's past their bedtime.  Men who keep coming back, even if there be no visible response from the member.  But still they come with the gospel of forgiveness of sins.  Thanks be to God.

My brother pointed out that, when the funeral home came to pick up Mom, she did not moan or grimace or cry out in pain.  Every time somebody had moved her for the previous 3+ weeks, it had been excruciating for her.  No more.  "And God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes....  There shall be no more pain."


Death cannot destroy forever.  
From our fears, cares, and tears 
it will us deliver....  

Lord, my Shepherd, take me to Thee.  
Thou are mine.  I was Thine 
even e'er I knew Thee.  
I am Thine for Thou hast bought me.  
Lost I stood, but Thy blood 
free salvation brought me.  TLH 523



ADD footnote:
For certain of you who object to the word "funnest," I'll have you know that the computer did NOT flag that word as a misspelling or grammar-oops.  So HA.

Wit

A movie about dying of cancer. A professor who is alone, no family, no friends. She agrees to aggressive treatment, for the sake of research, with only a small hope for recovery. An exacting professor who teaches John Donne's poetry. A woman who has little to hang onto other than "Death, Be Not Proud" and her own toughness.

A woman who eventually must face the prospect of her own death. A woman whose only comfort is the gospel (if you can call it that) found in The Runaway Bunny.

So very different from Stephen's death.  A man surrounded by family, friends, and pastors.  A room filled with hymns, prayers, more hymns, liturgy, psalms, and a few more hymns.  An image on the wall of Jesus dying on the cross to bear the wages of Steve's sins.  A statue of St Michael defeating the dragon-of-old.

Unlike the tough professor in Wit, Pastor Wiest knew long before that he was weak.  But His Jesus is strong.  As he became weaker at the end, he was given more and more and more of Jesus' word of forgiveness and mercy.  "For when I am weak, then am I strong."

Natural Burial

My friend Polly posted today about an environmentalist's "green burial."  Although my perspective on natural burial comes from a VERY different place, the end result could look quite similar.  My pastor isn't exactly fond of cremation -- for theological reasons. 

I know that cremation grew out paganism.  I know that for many years the Church objected to it.  But I find it less objectionable than many of our current standard-American embalming/burial practices.  That said, I don't want to be cremated, and I don't intend to cremate anybody for whom I'm making funeral arrangements.

There is "green cemetery" space in Waukesha.   Although the cost is higher, there is also an option for "natural burial" in the regular parts of the cemetery, where a grave-marker can be placed.  For theological reasons, I think making note of the body's spot is important too, so ideally, I'm not keen on the idea of burying people "somewhere" on a prairie. 

The part of "natural burial" that troubles me most is the people that the family would be working with.  If their worldview and their theological perspective is the complete opposite of that of the grieving family, would that cause problems?  And if so, which would be easier to take: their weirdness or going along with Standard Procedure?

Current info on Wisconsin laws can be found here.

More info can be found in the 

video "A Family Undertaking."

Baby

Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.
He was wounded for our transgressions.
He was bruised for our iniquities.
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
and by His stripes we are healed.  (Is 53)

By His stripes we are healed.

Children of the heavenly Father
safely in His bosom gather.
Nestling bird nor star in heaven
such a refuge e'er was given.

Let the little children come to Me.  (Mark 10)

For the transgression of My people He was stricken.
When you make His soul an offering for sin,
He shall see His seed,
He shall prolong His days,
and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand. 
(Is 53)

My people.

God His own doth tend and nourish.
In His holy courts they flourish.
From all evil things He spares them.
In His mighty arms He bears them.

Out of the depths have I cried to You, O Lord.
Lord, hear my voice.
Let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
O Israel, hope in the Lord.
For with the Lord there is mercy,
and with Him is plenteous redemption.
And He shall redeem Israel from all his iniquity.  (Ps 130)

Neither life nor death shall ever
from the Lord His children sever.
Unto them His grace He showeth,
and their sorrows all He knoweth.

A voice was heard in Ramah,
lamentation and bitter weeping,
Rachel weeping for her children,
refusing to be comforted for her children,
because they are no more.
Thus says the Lord:
Your work shall be rewarded,
and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.
There is hope in your future, says the Lord,
that your children shall come back to their own border.  (Jer 31)

Jesus said, "I am the Resurrection and the Life."  (John 11)

Though He giveth or He taketh,
God His children ne'er forsaketh.
His the loving purpose solely
to preserve them pure and holy.  (LSB 725)

Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven. 
For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.  (Matt 18)

He lives, all glory to His name.
He lives, my Jesus still the same.
Oh, the sweet joy this sentence gives:
I know that my Redeemer lives.   (TLH 200)

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
There shall be no more death,
no sorrow, nor crying. 
There shall be no more pain,
for the former things have passed away.
Then He who sat on the throne said,
"Behold, I make all things new."  (Rev 21)

E'en so, Lord Jesus, quickly come,
and night shall be no more.
They need no light nor lamp nor sun,
for Christ shall be their all.   (Manz)
 
By His stripes we are healed.

Best Thing Ever

Every time we've sung "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" this Easter, I remembered my mother-in-law's funeral.  It was the final hymn.  The casket was escorted out by the funeral director, and the pall bearers (including my sons) followed. 

The guys put their hymnals back in the pew rack and filed out, singing the hymn (from memory) with the rest of the congregation. 

Is there anything in this earthly life that's better than that?

Emergency Baptism

There's disagreement out there on the topic of whether healthy babies should be baptized right after birth or if it's better to wait until the child can come to one of the services of the Church. There is, however, no disagreement about baptizing a baby who is in imminent danger.

My mom was a nursery nurse. Sometimes she would baptize babies. However, not everybody knows that it's not only okay, but good, for a layman to baptize a baby in an emergency. Sometimes we think such things "go without saying." But they don't; they need to be said -- in this situation, it is not disrespectful to the pastoral office to baptize the child yourself. So I just want to mention this right now, for my young readers who may be having children in the coming years, as well as for those of y'all who are in the medical field and may have the opportunity to be around at your patient's end.



Friday morning is a funeral for two little boys for whom Jesus died. We grieve with their parents.

Healing from Grief

Sometimes it takes a long, long time.

I noticed last fall, after seven years, that the loss was still there, but the tears weren't. And then, recently, Pastor brought up something in Bible class that Pastor Wiest had preached. The part more interesting to me, however, was that he prefaced his words with a parenthetical comment on loss and grief. He said that he could see something in a movie now and it would make him smile to remember Steve. The loss is still there, but the depth of gut-wrenching grief isn't. There's fondness now in memories instead of just tears and more tears. Yes! That's it!

Discovering this (I mean, experiencing it and not just knowing it intellectually) helps me expect that God will carry me through other losses and that healing will, eventually, come.

Heaven

I'm not sure what's going on at work, but there's been a lot of talk about ghosts, haunted houses, and heaven. One of the gals is reading about haunted houses in the area. Another just read a book about a little boy who had a near-death experience. She asked me if I'd read it. There was some compelling evidence for people to believe the little boy: when he was "out of his body" during a surgery, he saw things he could not have known otherwise.

But the kicker for me was that the parents suggested going by the hospital later, and the little boy didn't want to go. He remembered the angels singing, and sitting in Jesus' lap, and some other things. But, no, he did not want to go back to that place. Now, if he really went to heaven, then there would be no fear, no trepidation, no avoidance, of the remembrance or revisiting of the place.

I don't know what does happen in those situations, but if a person doesn't look forward to going "back to heaven," then he wasn't seeing heaven in the first place.

Not Much Progress

I'm nearly ready to give up on car shopping. We just can't bring ourselves to pay the going rate for a car that's 10 years old. We thought we'd found a pretty good deal on a 4-yr-old car; when our mechanic looked at it today, he said it was okay. Not good, not bad. He said we'd do much better to wait until spring when private-sale cars are more plentiful. The kind of used car that we want is a car that costs more than my parents' house did when they bought it. That just seems wrong.

Maggie is still sick. It's been six weeks now. After two weeks of confinement, she did go to church Sunday. She did go to Matt's grandpa's funeral today. The cough has lessened somewhat (especially when she's careful to keep a scarf over her face when she's in cool or cold air), but the stomach problems have worsened. She's not able to eat.

Nathan has put together the new computer parts. I need to install my old programs, figure out how to work the new operating system, make sure the old files (emails, documents, etc) are restored where I can find them and use them, learn about security measures on the new machine. Overwhelming at the moment! Easier (for the most part) to keep using Gary's machine.

Going to a Catholic funeral (where the priest commented favorably on the deceased's pride) sure does make me love my pastor all the more. Y'know, I don't think the priest believes in the resurrection of the body. He kept talking about the soul being raised to be with Jesus in heaven. Not once in the whole hour-long service was there any mention that Matt's grandpa's body would be resurrected from death to eternal life. This morning, the priest preached how grandpa's good deeds would cause God to open heaven to him. This evening, my pastor catechized on Mark 4 (the stilling of the storm) and how Jesus saved those unbelieving disciples who accused Him of not loving, not caring. My pastor spoke of a Lord who forgives those who are weak, who heals those who have no goodness of their own, who saves those who aren't "good Christians." My pastor talked about how we come to despair of ourselves and our goodness so that we cling to Jesus' goodness, His atonement, His works and worth. It is good to be a Lutheran; it is good to know that the Lord does for me what I cannot in any way do for myself; it is my only hope.

At Home

Phone calls around here often proceed thusly:
Maggie: Hello, [last name] residence.
Caller: Hi, Susan. [blah blah blah]
Maggie: Ummmm... this is Maggie. I can go get my mom for you.
Caller: Oh. Okay. Wow, you sound just like your mom.

So yesterday I pick up the telephone.
Susan: Hello, [last name] residence.
Caller: Hi. Is your dad home? If so, may I talk to him?
Susan: Peter???
Caller: This isn't Maggie?
Susan: No, it's Susan. My dad is home, but you can't talk to him for a couple more decades. So, would you like to talk to my husband?

Y'know, that's such a comforting thing to say. He is at home.

"At home."
Beautiful words!

Miscarriage and "The Necessity of Baptism"

So Wednesday morning in chapel (after Rachel called about the baby but while there was still a smidge of hope that the ultrasound might find a heartbeat), we prayed in the Great Litany for expectant mothers. And then on Thursday morning we had the story of Leah and Rachel and their children. And then during Bible class we discussed the article in the Augsburg Confession on baptism and how baptism is "necessary for salvation."

Bonnie asked about the thief on the cross. Pastor's mini-answer was that we don't know he wasn't baptized. But then the main answer: even if he wasn't, Jesus said, "Today you will be with Me in paradise." Jesus' word is what matters!! Pastor also pointed out that "without God's word, the water is plain water, but with the Word of God, it is a baptism, that is, a life-giving water." In other words, it is the Word which makes baptism what it is. It is the Word that has the power. It is the Word of God which saves, which imparts faith, which forgives sin.

I had to ask after class about little babies who die before baptism. In my intellect, I knew the answer. But I still needed to hear the answer.

Pastor re-spoke what he had said in class about the malefactor on the cross. He reminded me of God's desire to save the baby and that this child's lack of baptism would not thwart God's eternal plan. He reminded me that the baby had been hearing God's word. (And none of that "but the baby doesn't have ears yet." Go look at Romans 10:17 and all the stories where Jesus healed the deaf -- God's word creates hearing even when the person doesn't have the physical equipment to hear the gospel which is being preached to him.)

Pastor pointed out 1 Corinthians 7:14, where it says the unbelieving wife is sanctified by her Christian husband, and the unbelieving husband is sanctified by his Christian wife, and how their children are holy. He reminded me that "the Word of God is the only holy thing we have" and that is what Paul is referring to in his advice on marriage. But this also means that the Word of God spoken and sung in the lives of the parents is how the Holy Spirit is working faith in their children, "when and where He pleases, in those who hear the Gospel. And the Gospel teaches that we have a gracious God, not by our own merits, but by the merits of Christ, when we believe this."

And for the sake of my small brain which needs pictures and illustrations and simple explanations, he gave me an analogy. Nutrition is necessary that the baby might grow and live physically. Babies get their nutrition by suckling at the breast. But does that mean they don't get any nutrition before birth, just because they cannot yet suckle? Of course not. How silly. Things are different before birth. God provides nutrition in a different way prior to birth. In the same way, Jesus' blood is necessary to cover sin. God's Word delivers His atonement to us. But there are some differences in how that merciful blood is delivered to us before and after birth. (Okay, it's not a perfect analogy. But it's good. And it helps.)

Jesus took on human flesh in the womb of His mother Mary. He joined Himself to us that He might save His little brothers, even the ones still in the womb. "He was little, weak, and helpless. Tears and smiles like us He knew. And He feeleth for our sadness. And He shareth in our gladness." He became man and died for our sin that our babies might have the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. For the promise IS "to you and to your children."


Okay, y'all didn't need to hear that, I suspect. But I needed to write it out.

Loss

Sometimes, when you most need to hear "I'm sorry for your loss" and comfort and sympathy, that's when you don't want to hear it. When love and support are verbally expressed, your tough perseverance flies out the window.

Children of the heavenly Father
safely in His bosom gather.
Nestling bird nor star in heaven
such a refuge e'er was given!

After a long wait, Rachel and Matt were expecting a baby mid-summer. The baby died this weekend.

Neither life nor death shall ever
from the Lord His children sever.
Unto them His grace He showeth,
and their sorrows all He knoweth.

Sometimes it's hard to go to church when you're suffering. It can be emotional. Hearing the solid truth of God's love and tender mercy may make you cry. And yet, where else is there help and rescue?

Though He giveth or He taketh,
God His children ne'er forsaketh.
His the loving purpose solely
to preserve them pure and holy.

Funeral Tonight

The All Saints service was planned for our regular midweek service. Then Pastor Goltermann (a retired pastor in the congregation) went to be with Jesus on Saturday evening. So his funeral was combined with the All Saints service.

Joy!
Beauty!
Comfort!
Anticipation!


Gary was just saying that, if you want to know what a church teaches, what they believe, what the pastor's focus is, go to the funerals. One of my friends mentioned tonight that she never used to go to funerals. But here ... here she tries to come to as many as she can. Funerals are some of the best services there are! An hour and 40 minutes tonight of "Behold a Host" and Revelation 7 and "Lord, It Belongs Not to My Care" and "For All the Saints" and the Beatitudes and "Lo, He Comes With Clouds Descending" and a sermon that could have been better only if it had been 2-3 times longer.

Pastor Goltermann grew up in the congregation where Gary did his student teaching. One of his congregations (three decades later) helped support Gary through seminary. He was pastor in Buckley during the 40s. He assisted Ed Suelflow at Walther Memorial. I managed to hold myself to only two times of "It's a Small World After All" this evening. :-)


Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

In Vigil

At anniversary time, we often recall the details of that day. For example, the oncology nurses who brought us trays of food. On the day that Dad died, we were sitting in his room at the hospital. We weren't leaving. The nurses would come in and check, "How are you doing? Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do for Hank or for you?" Nope. We were okay. But we didn't leave the room to go to the cafeteria. The nurses noticed. After a while, one of those sweet women came in with a tray of tea, water, cookies, and fresh fruit. Later in the afternoon, seeing that we still weren't leaving Dad's bedside, they came back with another tray containing light lunch foods.

On that last day, I remember thinking that I would not be able to explain to someone who asked, "WHY do you sit there? What sense does it make? What does it accomplish?" And yet, there was nothing else to do. Something deep inside us compelled us to be there, even if human reason said it was pointless.

Yesterday we attended Betty's funeral. In the sermon, Pastor mentioned how the family had lovingly and tenderly cared for Betty during those last days when her health took such a turn for the worse, how they had been with her at the end. He spoke of how it is a Christian thing to keep vigil at the bedside of a dying loved one. He spoke of the women at the foot of Jesus' cross. He spoke of standing beside those who suffer to share in their sufferings and to support them in the small way that we can. But mostly he spoke of a Savior who shared in our sufferings and stood beside us, taking our punishment upon Himself.

Oh. So that explains the compulsion to be there with your loved one. Oh.

Funeral Sermons

The best way to tell what a church believes is to attend a couple of funerals. Is the focus on Jesus' redemption of sinners? Is the focus on our feelings? Is the focus on upstanding character of the deceased? What the pastor and the congregation believe --the message is given to the bereaved-- is seen clearly at a funeral.

Unbelievers come to church more for funerals and weddings than they do for any Sunday service. It's the pastor's chance to preach the gospel to those who usually don't bother to listen. What does he say about the Faith when we're staring death in the face? What kind of conditions does the pastor attach to the forgiveness Jesus won? At funerals we see how a church "does evangelism."

When God Doesn't Answer

Or maybe I should title it ... When God Doesn't Answer the Way We Want.

A friend was telling me excitedly the other day about her grandson's surgery, and how things worked out perfectly, and how the right people were in the right place at the right time to discover his birth defect. There were so many ways God provided for physical healing and sustenance for everybody concerned. That is a beautiful and happy blessing for which we thank and praise the Lord!

But there's always this little bit of me that shudders inside whenever I hear people say, "You could really tell God was there, working" when temporal blessings abound.

What happens when it doesn't work out the way we want?

My god-daughter was born with a serious heart defect. She was baptized minutes before the Flight-for-Life helicopter whisked her away to the humongo Children's Hospital. Not only was Bethany's congregation praying for her, but so were all the churches in our circuit, and churches across the whole country.

Five and a half weeks later, Bethany died.

Her daddy said that he was asked again and again, "What did we do wrong? Weren't we praying hard enough? Why didn't God answer our prayers?" And again and again, he was given opportunity to confess that God had indeed answered our prayers, that He had granted Bethany the new birth, that He had drawn her to Himself, and that her little body was awaiting the resurrection.

Thanks be to God that He gave physical healing to this little boy that's connected to our church family. But even if He hadn't, He still would have been there, He still would have been caring, He still would have been working. God did not forget us when Bethany died; He did not turn His back on her but opened His arms to receive her, just as He had opened His arms to spread them out on the cross to die for her and cleanse her of all her sin.

I still don't know how to respond to a joyful expression of "God was really there with us!" when things go our way. Because it's true. He is there with us when things go according to our wishes.

But He's there, too, when things hurt and when things go contrary to our desires.

The Lord giveth.
The Lord taketh away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord!

The Resurrection of the Body

A huge cemetery. A blanket of snow dotted with thousands of evergreen wreaths tied with red ribbons. A group of mourners gathered around the casket and the hole in the dirt.

Does sound carry better over snow and ice than it does over a carpet of green grass? Was Pastor speaking particularly loudly to ensure that he was heard over the traffic on nearby highway? Whatever it was, his voice positively boomed that frigid day at the cemetery: "Holy God, holy and mighty, holy and merciful Savior, deliver us not into the bitterness of eternal death."

And we prayed, "I believe in ... the communion of saints ... the resurrection of the body ...." Umm, this is a cemetery; this place is full of saints! As you gaze across the snowy fields, recognizing that under each wreath a person is buried, you begin to wonder what this place is going to look like on the Last Day, and you begin to think about that last chapter in Narnia.

Not everybody in the cemetery is a believer -- but a whole lot of them are. When we buried Dad, Pastor Wright prayed "by Your three-day rest in the tomb You hallowed the graves of all who believe in You." But think about it: that's not true of only that one grave. Those same words have been prayed for centuries at Christian burials. His words were true of my grandparents' and great-grandparents' graves nearby.

And when we were burying Don the other day, Pastor's words were not about Don alone. Nor about us alone. But about all those saints sleeping around us: "By Your death You destroyed death" and "in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life in Christ Jesus, who will change our lowly bodies to be like unto His glorious body ..."

God's Word certainly creates faith. God's Word certainly sustains and preserves faith. But God's Word also created and sustains stuff, the light and the land and the sea and the mountains and the trees and the critters. And it's good that His Word keep ringing out through the cemeteries, not just for the deceased's burial, not just for the mourners who are there for those few minutes, but for the sake of the creation and the brothers and sisters who are awaiting the morning of the new creation.

Those Post-Michaelmas Days

Praise for the first of martyrs
who saw You ready stand
to help in time of torment,
to plead at God's right hand.
Like You, our suffering Savior,
his enemies he blessed,
With "Lord, receive my spirit,"
his faith, by death, confessed.



O may Thy soldiers, faithful, true, and bold,
fight as the saints who nobly fought of old,
and win with them the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
O blest communion, fellowship divine,
we feebly struggle, they in glory shine.
Yet all are one in Thee for all are Thine.
Alleluia! Alleluia!