Your Neighbor

"Your neighbor is the man who needs you."

Wow.
That's a quote from Elbert Green Hubbard, a man who differed from me philosophically and religiously on a gazillion things.

And yet, that quote fits beautifully with the Christian perspective of sacrifice for one's neighbor.  It's very much like what Jesus said to the lawyer when He told the parable of the good Samaritan.

When the whole society was familiar with the Bible and steeped in decency  -- even apart from Christ, there was a civil understanding of what is true and moral.

"Luther on Vocation"

Wingren's book isn't what I expected.  Loads of people had recommended it as a fabulous book about vocation.  There are definitely good parts, but overall I'm not as impressed as I thought I'd be. 

From the title, I'd expected the book to be virtually all Luther.  It's not.  It's Gustaf Wingren, and he is explaining his take on Luther's take on vocation.  He also disputes other authors' take on Luther's take on vocation.



I also noticed the use of the word "vocation."  There is some disagreement among us about whether vocation is law or gospel or both or whatever.  And as I've been reading Wingren, I think part of the reason for this disagreement can be attributed to his book.  He keeps using the word vocation and "interpreting Luther" as it were ... but he substitutes the word vocation when Luther's word in that particular quote was station or office.

Vocation is from the Latin for "calling."  As in, "The Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel, ...."   Vocation is the call to live by faith in whatever station or office God has placed you.  Yeah, so, when Wingren flip-flops "vocation" and "station" (and when we then do the same thing) discussions are muddied and convoluted. 


And then there's the section on prayer.  Wingren points out that we shouldn't be praying for things God has promised through means.  In other words, I can't sit on the couch and eat bonbons and watch Oprah, and then complain at 7:00 because God didn't give us supper.  God gave me a grocery store and money, and a garden and a knife and an oven, and that is how He gives us supper.  But then Wingren goes on to suggest that God will be hacked off at us if we pray for things and haven't done everything in our power to bring Whatever-We-Prayed-For into being.  According to that, I guess I'd never pray because I could never do enough to provide for myself.  Furthermore, he makes it sound like prayer is a last resort: when there's nothing left for you to do to solve the situation, that's when you can pray for help.  I just have to keep reminding myself that Wingren is trying to argue against prayer-as-a-magic-wand.

Good aspects of the book coming up in another post...

Daniel's Service to Nebuchadnezzar

Pastor commented recently in Bible class about how Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego served the Bad Guy.  They were faithful Jews/Christians, even though they were civil servants in Babylon.  Pastor said it was something to ponder with regard to our vocation as citizens.

After he pointed this out, I went and checked out the dating.  Wow -- Daniel was nabbed the first time Babylon came in and overran Jerusalem.  According to the stories in Chronicles and the first chapter of Daniel, those bright young men would have been taken, oh, say, 15-20 years before the temple was destroyed and the whole country was stomped on.  And while Daniel faithfully prayed for God's will and for right worship and for faith among his countrymen, he was a government official serving the king who was destroying Judah.   It looks like Daniel was helping Nebuchadnezzar who was sent by God to punish Israel.  How weird would that be? 

I think maybe there is something to ponder there.

What Shall We DO?

In Luke 3, in the story of John's preaching and baptizing, we hear three times that different groups of people come and ask him, "What shall we do?"  And John gives such a "boring" answer.  He doesn't come up with a big ol' list of meritorious works.  He didn't suggest the things Tetzel advised.  He certainly doesn't come up with the kind of answers that tv preachers do.  He basically says, "Just keep doing your job.  But don't steal.  Don't lie.  Don't bully.  Oh, and if you have plenty, share with those who have nothing."  Nothing flashy.  Just do what God's given you to do, where He's put you.  And it won't earn you anything.  It's just what you do...

What to Call the In-Laws

When you're a kid, you don't know what adults call their in-laws.  After all, parents usually refer to their in-laws as "Grandma" and "Grandpa" around the munchkins. 

So when you get all grown-up and acquire yourself some in-laws, you have to figure out what to call them.  It feels funny to start calling someone "Dad" who used to be "Mr Lastname."  But hey, what may feel funny at first is something you get used to eventually.  The problem comes when there are objections.

Maybe the bride's mom doesn't want her daughter calling another woman "Mom."  Maybe she thinks, "That's my spot!"  Maybe the groom feels like it would be betraying his father to call somebody else "Dad."  Maybe you don't feel comfortable enough around the spouse's family to use such close & endearing names.  Maybe [gasp] there's some dislike. 

When Gary and I got married, we didn't know what to do, and nobody told us.  When I asked about calling my mother-in-law "Mom," I was told no, but that I could call her "Mother."  (Unfortunately, to me, "Mother" is a term of exasperation, rather like when a parent uses a child's full name; kids usually know that they're in trouble when they're summoned with the middle name and last name in addition to the first name.  That's how "Mother" feels coming out of my mouth.  Because "Mother" sounded disrespectful to me, I didn't want to use it for my mother-in-law.  Maybe I should have anyway.) 

When two of my girls got married, we didn't know what to tell them.  We did tell them that we thought "Mom" and "Dad" would be good, but that it was up to them because we recognized that it might make the husbands uncomfortable or make the guys' parents uncomfortable. 

In hindsight, I think we botched it. 

There is a change of relationship, a change of family, new connections being created, at a wedding.  The bride has to get used to introducing herself with a new name.  She has to get used to a new signature.  The couple has to get used to living together instead of separately in their parents' homes.  Calling the in-laws "Mom" and "Dad" is just one of those changes. 

So I'm saying it for all you yet-unmarried youngsters who are my kids' friends.  There's a theological reality here.  When you refer to your spouse's parents with words/nicknames for parents, you are teaching yourself something about who these people are and what your relationship is.  If they object to being called "Mom" and "Dad," maybe they need to learn something about this new family-relationship.  Neither should your parents object to your in-laws being called "Mom" and "Dad."  You've probably got decades together, through kids and grandkids, through illnesses and moves and job changes and fights and reconciliations and school plays and Little League games and deaths and sorrows and joys.  Y'know, "for better or for worse, ..." and all that. 

And through it all, it would be good to know that this person who raised your husband (or wife)  IS "Mom" or "Dad."  Not just to your spouse, but to you too.  And using the words helps you to believe it.

So say it.  Squirm if you must.  If you can't help it and turn red in the face, so be it.  But say "Mom" and "Dad" anyway.  In 40 years, you'll be glad you did.

Husbands, Be Considerate

Our catechism portion for the week includes:
"Husbands, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner ..."

There's something about those two words set next to each other -- "be considerate" -- that makes us think about manners and politeness and opening the car door for your lady, and picking up your dirty socks, and making sure you call when you're going to be late for supper.

But that's not what it means.  It means "take into consideration."  When you look at some non-NIV translations, that becomes clear.  "Think about the fact that she has been called to submit to you, even when you're selfish and boorish and lazy.  Take into consideration that she is supposed to respect you when you prove yourself quite worthy of disrespect."

Men should still pick up their dirty socks and call when they're going to be getting home late.  But there's so much more to husbands' being "considerate as you live with your wives."

Bear One Another's Burdens

Is there a finite amount of suffering, like there are groceries or library books or moving boxes?

Sometimes it almost seems like someone can take the weight off another person. When there is grief and sorrow and fear, that doesn't seem like it is something that can be shared, that could be divided into separate loads. But sometimes (whether I'm the one weighed down, or the one lifting the burden) it feels like one person can take on part of it for another -- just as much as if I were to offer to carry half your whoppin' stack of library books to your car -- just as much as I dread carrying in 12 heavy bags of groceries and am relieved to have three people run out of the house to help with the lugging.

But grief is not a bag of groceries. Sorrow and worry are not like an apartment full of moving boxes. Nevertheless, there seems to be some weird sort of cosmic reality that one person's load can be lightened and another's weighed down as we bear one another's burdens.

Washing Dishes

About a year ago, I was visiting Jane for several days. On Tuesday night, I began to help clean up the kitchen. "No, you don't!" I was told. "That's Patrick's job." (Or is it Jonathan's job now?) So I sat down, and we chatted and noshed and drank some more.

But Wednesday night, I washed some pots and pans. I cleared some dishes and put away some food and wiped some counters. "You don't have to do that!" "I know. I know! But pleeeeeease let me! I neeeeed to!"

Y'know, once upon a time, I would run into people who said they like to wash dishes. I thought they were lying. Or insane. The only people who like to wash dishes are 2-yr-olds and 3-yr-olds. So I thought.

And there I was -- wanting to do dishes. Feeling better to wash dishes. Not because it was "the right thing to do" to be a "good guest." Not because it was necessary. (See, I always figured that people who "like to wash dishes" were simply commenting on liking the results, liking the clean counter, liking the fact that the chore was done and out of the way for a while.)

What happened to me????

Turns out that I had that same feeling after I started working at outside-the-home paid employment. There is something good and pleasurable and enjoyable about washing dishes. That's when I realized why I'd enjoyed washing dishes in my friend's kitchen. I was in the midst of a stint at symposium, manning the CCA booth, selling books, talking to old friends and acquaintances, doing something that seemed kinda sorta career-ish. To wash dishes was to do what I'm settled with, what I'm good at, what's important and necessary. And there is pleasure in that! When I was working full-time during training weeks at my new job, it was so relaxing, so enjoyable, so right, to be at home in my kitchen, putzing the the daily necessities of keeping a home.

A few weeks later we had a huge snowstorm. The first school-day of the week was Friday. Two of the teachers at our parochial school were so happy and content to be at home for nearly a week, doing housework, cooking, tending to the mundane needs of their families and houses.

Too bad we don't appreciate it until we don't have it any more.




(Important note to everyone who lives with me: This post is NOT to be construed to mean that you ought not wash dishes. Trust me on this: even when you think you're doing allll the dishes, there is still plenty of dish-washing that I'm partaking of. Besides, at home I also have the joys of sock-folding and floor-sweeping. And I wouldn't want to deprive you.)

The Joy of a Job Well-Done (or at least Well-Attempted)

Although there is a need for relaxation (especially for those who tend to be perfectionist workaholics), too much rest and pampering oneself is quite unsatisfying and leaves a person restless. Pastor recently mentioned the joy that results from doing what you're supposed to do, tackling the duties God gave you. It's not the joy of the forgiveness of sins, but it's a very real left-hand-kingdom joy. And it's a joy that permeates even jobs that are, in themselves, distasteful.

Motivation to Serve

It is SO much easier to do what needs to be done for the people around you when you can do it freely and cheerfully. As soon as you're being told to hurry up, or how much people are depending on you, or to do a better job, or to set aside other priorities so as to focus on this-or-that one, it can become paralyzing. That doesn't mean we shouldn't have rules or demands. But boy oh boy, I find myself much more efficient and effective, much more of benefit to my neighbor, when I'm motivated by the gospel than when I'm being cajoled by the law (with all my failures staring me in the face).

God Works for Good

On this St Matthias Day, Pr Eckardt writes on whether the Eleven should have chosen a successor to Judas so that they would again be the Twelve, or if they should have waited until God gave them Paul to be the twelfth.

The important point, though, is not about who picked whom and when.

What matters is that the Lord blesses what we do. He even blesses our mistakes. Even when we screw up in the offices into which He has placed us, He does good to those we have been called to serve. I love Pastor Eckardt's conclusion: we too may learn to live without regret. If we might have made decisions that in retrospect could be called ill-advised, we may take confidence in this, that God assumes them into the course of our grace-laden lives, and moves forward with us in His unspeakable mercy.

Is It Tattling?

Last Sunday in Bible class, we were starting the story of Joseph (in Genesis). Pastor pointed out that it was not "tattling" when Joseph reported to his father that the brothers were being irresponsible in their shepherding. Joseph goes to the authorities as he ought to do, rather than trying to deal with it himself and usurp his father's authority.

Story proceeds. Joseph is sold into slavery. Joseph is put in charge of Potiphar's estate. Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph. Potiphar's wife makes a fake claim that Joseph raped her. Joseph does not report what happened; he covers her sin.

I was sitting next to Grace and Kyle. Grace asked why the two incidents were different. Why was it not okay for Joseph to "go to the authorities" about the false charges? Pastor explained, but I didn't understand. Neither did Grace. So after class, she asked again.

Part of Pastor's answer was that Joseph's brothers were within the Church, and Potiphar's wife was not. Those within the Church need to be called to repentance when they sin; they need to be restored. Those outside the Church have nothing to be called back to; perhaps she needed to be won by grace and mercy.

Another aspect of the answer was "What was to be gained by going to the authorities?" When Joseph told his father about his brothers' irresponsibility, it was in hopes of bringing them to repentance (and not just for sloughing off, but for their unbelief and impenitence). When Joseph told his dad, it certainly was not a self-serving action; it just got him in more trouble with the brothers and sold into slavery. What if Joseph had told Potiphar what really happened that day? It would not have been to rescue Potiphar's wife, but "telling" would have been entirely self-serving as Joseph tried to save his own hide. Joseph kept on looking like Jesus as he/He continued to act in ways that benefited the neighbor even when it was detrimental to him/Himself.

Socialization

A few weeks ago, a friend commented on her daughter's behavior after an afternoon at a homeschool co-op with all the other kids. I told her how our kids had had the ugly habit of misbehaving after time with friends. So often they would elbow each other in the car on the way home from play-days. Or they would tattle and whine. The day after an all-day homeschool event was torturous for the mom as the kids were impossibly cranky and impatient with each other. So many times I said, "You know what you're teaching me, don't you? 'If you take us to see our friends, we will be nasty at home afterwards.' So obviously the lesson I will learn is not to take my children to see their friends." In time, they learned to bite their tongues and keep their elbows to themselves after a day with friends. In time, they learned that they'd better feign niceness-to-siblings if they ever wanted to see anybody outside the family.

It is well known among homeschoolers that there is a "re-entry time" for the family after some or all of the family members have been away. People who send their kids to school and say, "I could never homeschool," often feel that way because they go through the re-entry time nearly every day. That re-entry time is nasty, whether it happens a couple of times a year or every day. It takes real work for kids to stifle the impulses to snap at siblings after they've been with their buddies. A sustained period of time away from buddies usually makes for a more pleasant home life.


Different subject:
Pastor talks about how we are made in the image of the God who loved sacrificially and gave of Himself. He talks about how we chase after happiness and satisfaction, never to find fulfillment in what we thought we wanted. He talks about how joy and peace and fulfillment actually can come only as we pour out ourselves for the neighbor. Even though it hurts us to sacrifice ourselves for another, it is paradoxically the only place happiness and satisfaction can be found.


Different subject:
I remember Barbara writing a blogpost quite a while ago about how she spent so much time with her children and found a great deal of pleasure in their company. She wrote about the moms who are not with their children so much, or who see homeschooling as a duty to be endured, and who then do not enjoy their children. I wish I could find that article; she said it so much better than my poor summary here.


Putting all three of those together:
I sense that there is less delight for homeschooling mommies than there was a decade or more ago. Because there are more homeschoolers than 15-20 years ago, it's easier to find like-minded homeschoolers. Because homeschooling is more mainstream, it's easier to find others who share our lifestyle and interests. It is therefore easier for moms to find support groups, attend co-ops, and spend time online with other moms. I'm wondering if mommies develop the same kind of peer dependency that kids sometimes do. If we mommies are with our friends more, does that make us cranky when we go back to spending time with our families?

I'm not saying that moms shouldn't associate with other moms online, at retreats, for play-days, and at other times. But I find, for myself, that I'm more cheerful and content working with the kids when I reduce the time spent with my peers.

Accepting Mediocrity

A friend of mine wrote recently about Excellence in Mediocrity. I agree so heartily with what he said about how we idolize ourselves and our hard work, and how we always want to be The Best. I agree too with his assessment that mediocrity which flows from laziness is just not okay.

As I mused on what he wrote, however, it struck me that it's not only "average ability" that can cause mediocrity in spite of a person's working hard at what he does. Sometimes it's the great number of responsibilities. I mean, a person can only do so much. When he is trying to be a good husband, a faithful father, a son who honors his parents, a decent neighbor, and a hard-working employee, he may not be able to do an exemplary job at any of those things ... even if he theoretically could
if he had fewer people to love.

There is no "solution" to this other than do what you've been called to do in whatever way you can do it. Somebody will always be telling you that you're not doing it well enough. Most people in this society think that kids should have the priority, so whatever you have to ignore for the sake of giving your kids The Best should be ignored. (Hey, I'm not saying I agree with it, but that's the popular wisdom out there.) Some people will tell us that interacting with our non-Christian neighbors should be a priority so that we can "witness to them." Other people will encourage us to put our paid-employment as top priority. And others will say that our marriage should be the focus of our time and attention.

When you have people in your life to love, it's sad to recognize that you are unable to give each and every one of them the time and attention you wish to lavish on them. So we do what we can, and fail. And then we thank and praise God that we have so many loved ones that are still here on earth for us to spend time on! And we remember that God uses our weakness and inadequacies to do what HE wants to do in our loved ones' lives. And most importantly, when we still feel our failings for how we can't do it all, we go back to what Pr Stuckwisch was talking about as the only real solution: that excellence is found in what Jesus does for me, what He gives to me, and not in my response or in my love for others.

Palin

What a perfect day to have been stuck in the car, doing errands, giving Andrew practice driving on the interstate. The radio was on all morning (incidentally driving Maggie nuts).

Palin sounds perfect in so many ways. When I heard Fred Thompson thought McCain made a great choice, that was thrilling. What I heard her say in this morning's speech was encouraging. What I heard from the talk-show callers was exciting.

But I still can't get over the fact that she has a little baby who should still be nursing and not even on solids yet, and the mommy is out there with a career. When I heard "mom of five" I figured this was a woman who had to be organized, who wouldn't put up with guff, and who would know that disagreements can't always be solved by just talking nice. But we're not talking "mom of five" where the youngest is age 10 or 15. We're talking about somebody who should be nursing and changing diapers. Annnnd we're talking about the mom of a little boy with Down Syndrome, a little boy who will need his mom's attention and help and love longer and more intensely than most kids.

No matter how perfect a choice Palin is for McCain and for the country, I can't help but wonder whether her son will be sacrificed "for the greater good." And all us conservatives are thrilled about it.

Talk about mixed feelings!

Lazy?

Once upon a time, several of us were sick. The sickest we'd been in a long time. We were resting, sitting on the couch for a whole week, aching, feverish, popping a couple of tylenol, and then two hours later some aspirin, and two hours later some more tylenol. A friend told us what we needed to do was get outside and work. She said that her family had been sick recently and they didn't have time to sit around and recuperate because there was work to do. So they did it. She said they "sweated it out" and got much better for having worked through the illness rather than resting.

It makes some sense to me, theoretically, because sweating does eliminate a lot of toxins from the body. But boy oh boy, when you're so sick you can hardly get to the kitchen for a drink of juice, the idea of going outside to shovel gobs of snow sounds ludicrous.


When a person gets older and the body shows more and more signs of the corruption of sin (weakness, lack of endurance, less flexibility, longer time to heal, etc), how does a person know when her "laziness" is just an unwillingness to work and when it's lack of ability? I think that I've been lazy recently, and I've been trying to gather my oomph to overcome it. I've been giving myself speeches. I've been trying to work harder, move faster, be organized and efficient. And I'm not managing it.

Do I need to try harder? Or would it be better to recognize that, as I'm trying to learn new things, it's going to simply take some time? And that my body cannot DO the things it could do when I was in my twenties?

You know what? Ten, fifteen, and twenty years ago, I was asking these questions about my children ... and their readiness for learning. In the kids, I could recognize that sometimes I could spend a HUGE amount of effort trying to teach them something before they were ready, or I could wait until they were physically and mentally capable of something, and then the educational task would be a breeze. Loads of homeschool moms face this: should we bash our heads against the wall trying to teach cursive or phonics or long division or how to use the potty (hopefully not in that order!) or do we admit that the child is simply not capable of this right now?
And now I'm wondering the same thing about myself -- but on the downhill slope.

Keeping Up (or not)

Bonnie is one of the lovely women at church. She was widowed quite suddenly last fall. Ever since I've known her, she always seems such the optimist. She knows and believes and says that God is working everything out just right, and even when things hurt, she still cheerfully confesses that He is good and gracious, and her praise for Him abounds. On Sunday she was kindly and encouragingly reminding me that it doesn't matter if I feel overwhelmed, because we are in God's care, and it will all work out, and what's necessary will be done (because if it doesn't get done it wasn't really necessary after all).

And then today I spent hours on errands, including an exploratory trip to the west, which ended at my friend's store, after five other stops. And a trip to fetch milk. And catching up on laundry and bread-baking after vacation. And dinner. And Paul and I tried to figure out some things about registering for classes for his freshman year for college next August. And the little car's brakes failed, so we had to get it in to the mechanic and are now waiting on the verdict. (I hate deciding whether a car is getting too old and worn to fix again!)

I kept thinking throughout the day of all the necessary things that weren't getting done. And how I just keep getting more and more behind. I wish I could believe in my gut what my intellect consents to: that Bonnie is right and that God does know what He's doing. I just wish I didn't chafe against it and argue over it so often.

Pastors Moving

Recently someone commented anonymously (and thus the comment was not published), and mentioned in part that my husband should just take a call and move away from here.

For all the talk in our church body about God's hand in the call process, sometimes it amazes me how little we expect Him to have any involvement in where pastors go, like as if we humans are able to make it all work out the way that strikes our own fancy. Some pastors can say, "Gee, I'd like to be at another place," and within months will have some options to consider. Some pastors are settled and contented and have no desire whatsoever to move elsewhere, and yet several times a year they will have congregations asking them to please come to be their pastor. And then there are other pastors who, for years and years, may have their names on call lists and yet never receive a call to consider. Are we willing to believe that maybe this too is part of God's plan for His Church and for individual congregations and individual pastors, and that it is good?

Acts of Mercy

In Bible class last week, somebody asked about whether "we" (as in, the congregation as an organized entity) should be doing more good works to help people, be they Christian or non-Christian. She wondered if it mightn't be easier for people to hear the Gospel and come to faith if first their temporal needs are met. That is a standard line you hear from most missionaries. And she's right about the kindnesses we show to others not being contigent upon what they believe, but that these things are done for the sake of being kind and merciful and good to anyone, particularly to those who don't "deserve" it.

In the last couple of years, "acts of mercy" has become a popular new buzzword, frequently heard from the folks running our deaconess programs and synod's Human Care office. But there are a few things I don't understand.

1. If we say that people will be more willing to hear the Gospel if we first attend to their temporal needs, are we trusting in our good works to change their hearts instead of depending upon the Word of God to create faith in them?

2. Sometimes it almost sounds like good works are being promoted to intentionally entice people into the Church, rather than good works being the natural outgrowth of a lively faith.

3. So many people are already doing "acts of mercy" simply by changing their children's diapers, or taking their elderly grandparents to the doctor, or helping neighbors, or adopting an abandoned child, or working in hospice. But I've heard professors and synodical officials speak as though these mundane everyday acts "aren't enough" and we need to be doing different "bigger" acts of mercy.

4. If we institutionalize our "acts of mercy" through church programs and paid employees, is it easier for people to excuse themselves from actually getting involved in their neighbors' lives?

5. If we start programs (food pantry, English as a Second Language, homeless shelter, day care, etc), will it ever be enough? Of course, like Coral posted a while ago, we do what we can, and those small efforts matter a great deal to the ones who receive these temporal blessings. But we must also take care not to buy into the idea that these things are necessary to "get people to listen." If so, then churches will turn into social agencies, because we will never be able to do enough to solve all poverty and suffering. I think Jesus might've even said something about having the poor with us always. That's not to say Christians are callous to suffering, but that the Church's focus is on Jesus and not on social work.

6. Do we ever fall into the theology-of-glory trap of thinking that Christianity is primarily about having less suffering in this life?

7. Are these programs in our congregations being run entirely by willing volunteers, or is it possible that people are being guilt-tripped into maintaining these programs? Are we taking care that volunteers are never encouraged to consider "helping others" to be more important than the time they need to spend caring for their own families? Are young women encouraged to go into church work instead of into the holy estate of being wives and mothers?

8. In this synod, it is not common to hear the Gospel preached in all its sweetness; there's too much moralism preached. Furthermore, it is an exceedingly rare thing to hear the Law preached fully, with intent to kill the sinful flesh. If we can't get the basic message of Christianity preached rightly in our pulpits, it seems a dangerous thing to branch off from that into encouraging "acts of mercy." If we really believe the Law, and if we really trust the Gospel to be the power of God, and if it were really preached rightly, then wouldn't that Gospel capture hearts and change lives, and wouldn't "acts of mercy" just be abounding all over the place?

Little Road Hazards

Shortly before dawn I was returning home from dropping off one husband at one airport. Now, being up before dawn is not usually according to my plan! About 3/4 mile up the road from the house, I hit a road hazard. Somebody's metal lawn decoration had been taken out by a passing vehicle, and debris was scattered in the road. It couldn't be missed; it covered too much of the lane. As I'm driving the rest of the way home, hoping that my tires survive, I thought I should tell the boys to watch for it when they go to work today. Then I thought, "No, better drive back and pick up the chunks of metal so that they don't have to remember about the threat of tire-puncture." It's really quite a shame that I had no incentive to do that to protect other drivers and their cars. But somehow, when I realized that I could have three cars with flats by the end of the day, self-interest compelled me to be kind to my neighbor.