Wit

A movie about dying of cancer. A professor who is alone, no family, no friends. She agrees to aggressive treatment, for the sake of research, with only a small hope for recovery. An exacting professor who teaches John Donne's poetry. A woman who has little to hang onto other than "Death, Be Not Proud" and her own toughness.

A woman who eventually must face the prospect of her own death. A woman whose only comfort is the gospel (if you can call it that) found in The Runaway Bunny.

So very different from Stephen's death.  A man surrounded by family, friends, and pastors.  A room filled with hymns, prayers, more hymns, liturgy, psalms, and a few more hymns.  An image on the wall of Jesus dying on the cross to bear the wages of Steve's sins.  A statue of St Michael defeating the dragon-of-old.

Unlike the tough professor in Wit, Pastor Wiest knew long before that he was weak.  But His Jesus is strong.  As he became weaker at the end, he was given more and more and more of Jesus' word of forgiveness and mercy.  "For when I am weak, then am I strong."

Those Blasted Cell Phones

Once upon a time, we had no answering machines.
Once upon a time, we would go on vacation, away from the telephone for an entire week.

Today people get itchy if they leave the cell phone at home for an hour or two of errands.  What if they miss something?  People!  People!  It's good to be away from the phone sometimes!

An online article recently pointed out what happens when teens have constant contact with their friends via texting.  They end up with nothing to talk about in-real-life.  And they have no incentive to spend time together in-real-life. 

Try it.  Fight the addiction.  Turn off the phone for a couple of hours a day.  Say no to the stress of always being available to dozens of friends.

What Loopers Means to Me

My homeschool email list brought me friends.  I used to be able to leave my locale and visit them two or more times annually.  Now I cannot.  I miss that and continue to grieve over it even though there are wonderful friends right here close. 

But there are things in life that shape you.  And my in-real-life friends (the ones with whom I usually interact via our onlines discussions) have been a huge part of my life.  And Lora describes it SO well. 

Cardinals Game

Enjoyed a day with friends at the ball park!

Colin and Gary -- Almost Twins

My dear friend Jane and I are married to guys who look like brothers.  Their family used to be members of Gary's congregation in south central Wisconsin.  When they moved to Indiana, Gary suggested a congregation for them to join.  The first day they showed up there, people said, "Wow, you look just like a pastor we know."  Even though these folks hadn't told him yet who they were thinkin' of, Colin told them, "Yes, I do, and he's my pastor."

So Katie attended a reunion this weekend with some of her dear friends.  Alia liked Colin right away.  She kept calling him Papa. 

Why does that make me so incredibly happy?!!!

Being an Interested Person

In responding to Cheryl's comment in the previous post, I was reminded of a story from Andrew's class this spring.  The assignment was to give a speech.  The speech was supposed to be "relevant." 

Andrew picked the topic of Norse mythology.  He had all sorts of interesting things to tell.  But was it "relevant"?  No.  In a stretch for relevancy, he discovered that there were 20,000 people in the US who practice that religion.  So we, uh, need to be informed so that, uh, we can understand those folks.  Yeah.  That'd be it.  There's the relevancy.  Yup. 

Apparently, the teacher didn't buy the pitch for being relevant.  But the speech was good.  It was [ta da!!] interesting.  Andrew said his classmates paid attention and asked questions!

This illustrates that sometimes a person is interesting because the listeners are interested.  People who are curious and who are excited to learn... these folks will often find others interesting. Some people find almost everything to be interesting!


Maybe "interesting" is in the eyes of the beholder.

Being an Interesting Person

I imagine that I used to be an interesting person. You may disagree with this, but hey, at least some people used to find me interesting!  It's become clear to me, however, in the last several months that I'm no longer interesting. (At least, not to most people.)  

Not long ago, a friend posted a link to an article about How To Be More Interesting (page 1) and (page 2).  It reflected some of my ruminations.

First, interesting people have ideas.  They're not bland.  They're not conformists.  They have opinions.  They're engaged in life. 

Second, the people around them care to listen to those ideas and opinions. 

And that's what's changed for me. 

If I'm around people who are interested in the Packers' season, they're going to find me boring.  I don't care who the coach is, or what player has been benched, or which team they're playing next.  

I used to be interesting when I hung out with people who cared about the things I cared about: cooking, raising kids, gardens, music, theology, Shakespeare plays, homeschool curriculum, politics, alternative medicine.  If I spend a lot of time with people who don't care diddly about these things, then they're going to find me boring.  What do I have to talk about?  What are my ideas?  People who aren't interested in those topics anyway sure aren't going to care what I think of an already-boring-to-them subject.

I used to be interesting when I wasn't afraid to express my opinions.  The old maxim about not discussing religion and politics makes it easier to get along with co-workers and neighbors.  But if religion and politics are what you think about, care about, talk about, keeping your lip zipped makes you appear boring.

I used to be interesting when I had time to read, to watch movies, to be learning all sorts of cool stuff alongside my kids.  I was filling up my head with nifty ideas, and we'd all be discussing those things as we sat around the table or ran errands or did chores.  Now I just try to keep up with the basics.

Gary's trying to stay up on sports so that he can interact with folks.  It's a great plan.  I don't have the time and energy to delve into that yet.  Maybe someday.  But for now, I will be content with being boring ... except for those dear times when I can be with people whom I find to be interesting!

Stephen

The martyr first whose eagle eye
could pierce beyond the grave,
who saw his Master in the sky
and called on Him to save.
Like Him, with pardon on his tongue,
in midst of mortal pain,
he prayed for them that did the wrong --
who follows in his train?

Changing a Reputation

We have our expectations. When a cheerful person is quiet and moody, we accept the mood as an anomaly and expect the pleasant disposition next time we see Miss Sunshine. When a cranky person works on being kinder, we're always on guard around him; it takes only one episode of snippiness before we assume that Mr Grumpy has resurfaced.

So how does a person change his reputation? How long does it take? It's hard to realize that other people still expect you to respond in ways you used to respond, even if you seldom or never do those things any more. Those old attitudes and behaviors and responses are still part of your reputation.

So (short of being absolutely perfect, constantly, for a few years) is there anything we can do when we realize that some people have ugly impressions of us? And is there anything we can do to beat back our negative impressions of someone else in order to better believe the new&improved reputation?

For Caseys

The picture Gary took because he loves the last two pictures in our wedding album: the parents exhausted but happy at the end of the day.

Pssst: Notice Colin's torn shirt. Gary
suggested that we might blame Jane for that.
But since this is [mostly] a G-rated blog, I'll
leave ornery comments to y'all on Facebook.

And some photos from Sunday afternoon:

For Rheins

Because I haven't figured out how to share pictures via Facebook .... here are a couple from the wedding.

Not Technically My Kid

LaRena commented recently that it's wonderful to have all your kids around the dining room table. Oh, it IS!

But what's even more wonderful is having them all at church, in the same service. Doesn't matter to me if we sit together. We often have somebody in the front pew, another near the back, and several of us scattered through different sections of the choir. I have developed this mother-hennish habit that I will locate & count my kids during church. Who's here? Where are they? It takes a whoppin' couple of seconds. I don't do it every Sunday. But there is a pervasive joy when I notice that they're all there, or even that they're all there but one. So yesterday I'm doing a quick head-count shortly before the opening hymn:

Philip next to me. Andrew in front of me. Maggie a few down from Philip. Bethany (with Evan) near the back on the lectern side. Katie (with her three additions to the family) several pews behind me. That's five!

And then came the question mark in my brain. Wait -- Rachel's not here and Paul's not here. I have six kids. Six minus two is four. How come I counted five?

Suddenly tears of joy welled up: I'd counted Beppers. I don't know whether it's good or naughty. But I counted her as part of mine.




After a while I realized that I'd had the same experience with Anthea during symposium. And yes, Rachel, I realize you were there too, but I didn't know it yet when I was counting.

Friends

Janelle and Susan

Maggie and Leah

Some dear friends are moving away. We'll miss them but are looking forward to seeing them next summer!

Parade

It's Lion Daze weekend here.

Nanna and Zoe in the shade at the parade:

Katie, Alia, and Gary watching the parade pass by:

Alia's favorite part of the parade was the CANDY:

Enthralled:

Here we come:
Maggie and Olivia are carrying the banner. Our headmaster and A Most Awesome Teacher is the short lady in the middle wearing the white hat. Most of the kids near the front of the group are graduates of the Academy.

Joey and Jake, some of the younger ones, bringing up the rear:

Bear One Another's Burdens

Is there a finite amount of suffering, like there are groceries or library books or moving boxes?

Sometimes it almost seems like someone can take the weight off another person. When there is grief and sorrow and fear, that doesn't seem like it is something that can be shared, that could be divided into separate loads. But sometimes (whether I'm the one weighed down, or the one lifting the burden) it feels like one person can take on part of it for another -- just as much as if I were to offer to carry half your whoppin' stack of library books to your car -- just as much as I dread carrying in 12 heavy bags of groceries and am relieved to have three people run out of the house to help with the lugging.

But grief is not a bag of groceries. Sorrow and worry are not like an apartment full of moving boxes. Nevertheless, there seems to be some weird sort of cosmic reality that one person's load can be lightened and another's weighed down as we bear one another's burdens.

Curiosity -- Good or Bad?

It's a whole lot easier to homeschool a kid who's bursting with curiosity. They must know what's inside that book! They must understand how this-or-that concept ties in with a scientific principle! They must read more more more [non-fiction] when they come across tidbits and factoids in a story they're reading! They must play with a new building toy or science kit until they've got all the combinations and permutations figured out!

However ... I have also noticed that my kids who have less curiosity are also the kids who tend to be more content.

Some of my homeschooling friends talk about their FOMS disease (fear of missing something). It can lead people to spend too much time with friends online, or too much time listening to the news and trying to solve the world's problems, or too much time wondering what's the scoop on Facebook (whether it's a fight or an inside joke). I have had a terrible case of FOMS; I have had all my life; I am [sloooowly] getting better as I realize how comfortable it is to be in the garden or reading to Maggie when other people are in an online uproar.

So, it may be harder to do your schoolwork when you're not driven with curiosity. But if it means it's easier to be content and to not be a buttinsky, maybe that lack of curiosity will have some very good results later in life.

Mansions

Have you ever had need of a mansion? Have you ever gone shopping for a mansion?

John 14 is translated in a variety of ways. NKJV records Jesus' saying, "In My Father's house are many mansions." NASB says there are many dwelling places. ESV (which is in our funeral rite) says "many rooms." For the last few years, my pastor has been making sure to point out that "many mansions" is not about opulence and luxury. He says the word is better translated as "rooms" or "dwelling places." He says that the word "mansion" conjures up images of a humongous place where we rattle around, lonely.

I guess, when you think of the McMansions built in the 1990's and the first decade of this century, yup, there is a lot of emptiness in our idea of mansions. So many people have big houses and big yards, but are never there, living in those huge houses. And these big houses are often home to just a few people, with each kid having his own 18x25' bedroom.

But when I think of mansion-shopping, I think of hunting up a 16-bedroom house for a family reunion. That's the point of a mansion! You want to find a place big enough to cram everybody in. That way you can eat together, visit, play cards, play Apples-to-Apples, find somebody to go swimming with, and just generally revel in the company of your beloved family.

I guess that's exactly what Pastor's trying to get across when he brings up the topic of "mansions." It's about being in community, being made in the image of God, giving and receiving love. And conversation. And meals.

The Wieting men.
Some of you will know Pastor Ken Wieting from his writing.

Mom, you'll probably want names; you haven't seen these guys for a long long time. Luke is on the left. Then Ken, then Ben, then Mark on the right.

The song is done barbershop-quartet style. And yowza -- those voices all in the same family sound nice together! The song pokes fun at homeschooling stereotypes and is a lot of fun!

Arranged Marriages

What does a person do with a whole day to herself? (Well, besides clean and cook and catch up on all sorts of tasks?) Last week the kids were visiting friends, and Gary was at work. After cooking lunch-for-one (and I managed to pare back the recipe appropriately, amazingly enough!) I sat down to watch the beginning of a movie that none of them would want to see.

Self-control didn't kick in very well. I watched the whole movie that afternoon [like potato chips -- so good that ya just can't stop] and I didn't accomplish one lick o' dusting while watching.

The movie "Arranged" is about an Orthodox Jew and a Muslim. The two gals met each other as first-year teachers. Even though many people expected them to view each other as enemies, it turned out that they got along with each other better than with their co-workers, who had very different views of morality and faith and family. Each girl had reached the age where the parents were ready to arrange the daughter's marriage. Were they scandalized by the prospect of having the family involved in choosing a husband? What did the people around them think? How does it work?

I enjoyed the movie simply for the sake of a mushy love story, as well as a story of friendship. But what resonated most with me was how the main characters were fairly comfortable with their own beliefs in spite of being misfits with so much of the world. Yes, there is discomfort in knowing that the rest of the world thinks you're off your rocker, but not enough discomfort to abandon your integrity. I wonder sometimes how my co-workers see me: as a complete oddball or as just a little different?

A link to a video from a Lutheran pastor about the topic of dating and marriage.
A link to an article about homeschoolers being oddballs and proud of it.

Lutheran Memorial Chapel

A video about a friend's congregation and theology. Mom, I thought you might like to see Ken. Our godson Mark is the second person seen after the organist talks about working with the other instrumentalists.